No longer employed!

[New Mexican]

Well, at least for now. (My apologies in advance for the length....but I have to vent it somehow!)

I was working for a small family-owned(ugh) company. I started with ONLY the Dad since the son could not operate it will. The Dad and I built it up from the ground (practically)for the first two years.

THEN, he brings in the lazy, rich-attitude daughter and it went downhill from there. One time, I'd asked her to put the claims (we did Medicaid billing) in numeral order (duh) and she looked at me with FIRE in her eyes and said BOLDLY...'THAT'S TOO HARD'!!! Mind you, she's 32 and a mother! Since I'm not the confrontational type, I started shaking and was VERY upset. I walked away, said, "Whatever is easier for you" and she did not speak to me for a week! What a mess!!

So, I put up with it for TWO YEARS. I never, from that point on, asked her to do ANYTHING. AND, I never "tattled" to her Dad either. She's HIS problem.

Well, it got to the point of my having anxiety attack at work two weeks ago. THEN, they have the nerve to say that I "decided not to return" when I'd called the boss to talk about "what things he can change (around there), what things he cannot" (His words) but he never called back and I NEVER resigned or quit! I get an e-mail from lazy daughter telling me to return to get my FINAL paycheck, return my keys and pick up my belongings. WHAT?? I was willing to at least SEE if he would fire the daughter, in hopes that the future of that company was important but he never called.

So, I'm trying to collect unemployment, which I feel he will dispute. (cheap-o at best and he did NOT carry Workmen's Comp-not mandated in TX where I worked)

The thing that may help me is that, with my FINAL paycheck, he called it Severance. Isn't "severance" used predominantly when someone is either fired or let go??

Anyway,I'm wanting to do a smaller job. (I was operations manager there) My thought is for Senior Care (non-medical companionship). It would probably pay 1/5 of what I made but I wanna be happy!! Plus,I'm doing that proofreading for my neighbor the Court Reporter and I have my handcrafted soap to sell as well.

If you've read this entire "journal", thank you!!

[jassytoo]

I can imagine how hurt and angry you must feel right now but its their loss not yours by the sound of it. No job is worth that kind of stress and as you say the daughter is his problem not yours. With help like the daughter is giving eventually the business will suffer so its probably a good time for you to make a move anyway. After you settle into a new job you'll wonder why you stood it for so long! Good luck to you.

[Terri]

New Mexican, you have had the opportunity to see a business grow from scratch. You are now poised to start your OWN business, and build IT from the ground up! Something with your rules, your decisions.

I realize that you are a bundle of nerves, right now. When you are better, I hope that you will consider the benefits of being a business owner.

[goldenlady]

Sorry about the bad time you're going through New Mexican, but I think you are well out of it. Some years ago, I worked for a 'small family owned company' and anxiety attacks were normal for me. Too much tension in family owned businesses.

Since you did not quit, you should be able to draw unemployment, but, you are correct, in all probability they will try to fight it. Sit down now and write down everything that occurred - what was said and what you did in every instance you can think of. Write down everything they have said to you while you there about your job and how you were doing, etc. and since you left and save a copy of that e-mail. You may have to challenge the unemployement and it helps to have everything written down. Photo copy the check before you cash it.

I've been out of work for 1-1/2 years now - we live in an economically depressed area - and it took a few months for the normal work tension to leave me. But I can honestly say, that though we've tighten our belts considerably, and though I do worry about health insurance and bills, that I feel more relaxed and at ease than I have in years. And it's amazing what one can get by without.

Good luck to you....

[almostthere]

My sil went thru something like that some time ago. They told her they wanted her to run the counter(she's an electrician)of a store that sold those kinds of parts, when in reality, they wanted a janitor. When she refused, they made her quota impossible to reach(you can't sell to customers who arent there) and then said they let her go b/c they didnt need her anymore. When she filed for unempolyment, they said she quit, and refused to pay. The unemployment people got a lawyer and needless to say she got her benefits. So hang in there, and sleep well knowing that the owner will find out soon enough how things are being run.

[MorrisonCorner]

New Mexican, I REALLY fell for you.. been there and done that and couldn't you just STRANGLE the daughter? Only in my case, it was the son. I ended up leaving the area and years later heard that they'd gone bankrupt a few years later. So.. there is justice in the world.

However.

You MUST be very careful about the words you use when applying for unemployement. It sounds like they are already getting their ducks in a row.. but what you want to hear or have them admit to is that they don't "need" you any more. "Want" is sort of ok, but "don't need" is best.

Also... take a deep (DEEP) breath and ask for a letter of reference. Make them state that you are in good health, were a good worker, and they regret seeing you go. You can probably guilt trip Dad into this (at least I hope so). This will help you collect unemployment, to say nothing of a new job, so push the "new job" angle and be mum on the unemployment angle.

Try not to say things like "I'm sorry this didn't work out," and stick to "I'm sorry you don't need me any more, I really enjoyed working with you." which implies the job was downsized or eliminated, not you. Er.. it helps if you're being at least modestly truthful, and genuinely did like working with Dad.

Ignore the daughter, being professionally distant and pleasant.

Remember: my former family owned business went under after the son got rid of Dad's key employees one by one because he was threatened by their competence. In a way (a sort of distant way, but hey, let's make lemonaide here) I'm glad I wasn't there for the final collapse. It is a lot easier to look for work when your former employer is in business than when he is going down in a very public column of smoke!

T

[New Mexican]

Wow! thanks everyone. I'm so humbled that you all took the time to read and reply. I was just trying to "journal" it all and had no idea that ya'll would be so kind as to answer me.

Yes, I've gotten things written down. They are GOOD at subjugating people. They all have maids and treated me like one too. Even the building maintenance guy "saw it". The day I left,he made a comment..."So,you're getting a rest from THOSE people?" Whew!!

Yes, my nerves are a bit touchy, but I tell people that it was like leaving an abusive relationship. With it comes guilt, anxiety, "should I have..."? "why didn't I?"... etc, etc etc.

At first, DH wanted me to "stick it out", that maybe things would straighten out.You see, he got me this job 'cause the boss golfed with DH and told him one day he "needed someone smart". Well, DH volunteered me. That was fine back then. I AM smart! LOL! (not bragging but justifying why he hired me!)

Plus the fact we had NO medical benefits. Yes, he did slip me some bonuses often. We got two weeks PAID off at Christmas time (we were contractors with school districts) but guess what? It's NOT what I NEEDED!! Kind of like giving a kid some candy and toys but beating him/her daily. DOES NOT COMPUTE!!

Anyway,this may be a fight with unemployment. But I do NOT want this man to get away with such childishness, ya know?? Their money should NOT be what is needed to "win people", it's love and kindness and the golden rule!

[New Mexican]

Here's the letter:

I wanted to thank you for your years of dedicate (poor spelling) service here at ___. You have been a trusted and valued employee for a long time. Although we are sad about your decision to not work here, we wish you luck and happiness in your next endeavor. I have enclosed a severance check. I wish you well.

[ajoys]

Start your own business doing the same thing.

I once worked for a really small privately owned company too. It has a lot of negatives.

[New Mexican]

:waa: Oh, the more I read, the better I feel, everyone. THANK YOU!

I guess I just need some validation to my feelings. I've been "brow beaten" for too long but thought it was ME that had problems dealing with different "kinds" of people.

:worship: :worship:

[Meg Z]

Originally Posted by New Mexican

Here's the letter:

I wanted to thank you for your years of dedicate (poor spelling) service here at ___. You have been a trusted and valued employee for a long time. Although we are sad about your decision to not work here, we wish you luck and happiness in your next endeavor. I have enclosed a severance check. I wish you well.

That is their CYA letter, and I'll bet they kept a copy of it! That letter is your worst enemy while trying to get your unemployment.

Someone who has been through this want to comment on this? I'm not experienced.

Meg

[Kenneth in NC]

Originally Posted by New Mexican

Although we are sad about your decision to not work here, we wish you luck and happiness in your next endeavor. I have enclosed a severance check. I wish you well.

New Mexican if this is the letter your Boss wrote he has already put in the BIG road block for unemployment. Although we are sad about your decision to not work here, we wish you luck and happiness in your next endeavor This line makes it look like YOU QUIT but they still love you and hope the best for you. Makes your Boss look like a Saint. And will make the unemployment people look sideways at you. Been there done that.

Do what's best for you TODAY. Whether that's a new job, different job or starting a business of your own.

Kenneth in NC

[coalroadcabin]

Send a registered letter ASAP and cc. your files. Make sure to spell out in your letter that you did not leave voluntarily and that you are sorry that your boss "felt it necessary" to terminate your employment. Here's wishing you the best of luck!

( BTW, I went to work for a small (one man) firm that was just starting out..........it has worked out great for me, so not every small company treats its employees badly.)

[MorrisonCorner]

Originally Posted by coalroadcabin

Send a registered letter ASAP and cc. your files. Make sure to spell out in your letter that you did not leave voluntarily and that you are sorry that your boss "felt it necessary" to terminate your employment. Here's wishing you the best of luck!

I agree.. post haste send a letter "correcting his impression" and stating that you did not leave voluntarily and are shocked at the miscommunication which led him to believe this! Shocked I say! And send it registered, return receipt requested.

PLEASE tell us you didn't sign anything! You did not sign anything stating you left voluntarily... right? Nor that this wasn't age discrimination, nor anything else, to get that check... right?

And PLEASE tell me the "severance check" was for wages due you... no more, no less.. right?

If the check was for wages due, your letter should state that clearly, that "severance" is monies above and beyond wages due and a gesture of thanks and good will when a relationship is terminated.

Dear Joe,

I am deeply shocked and confused by your note. There has obviously been a miscommunication of the gravest nature. I did not leave your firm volunarily, and am surprised that you would think I had. I enjoy my work and looked forward to each and every day. However your ___________ (professional title here) ______________ (name here) informed me on ____________________ that my services where no longer needed.

The check you enclosed with your note is in the amount of wages due me for work performed. "Severance" is monies in excess of the amount due the employee, a gesture of good will and respect for the value added that employee has brought to the business over the years. I'm delighted you believe I brought you value in excess of my agreed upon wage, and would be equally pleased to accept a check in the amount of _______________ as severance, since ______________ has let me go with only ____________ days notice, when it is customary to give an employee 3 weeks notice if their position is being eliminated.

Again, I enjoyed working with you, and sincerely regret that you were given the wrong impression regarding my departure.

Sincerely,

[Shrek]

New Mexican,
My congratulations to you on your move up. I worked for a fortune 500 corporation for almost 20 years. When they cut me loose I built my own 1 workbench electronics protolab here at home and started bidding freelance labor contracts to customers and coworkers I met during my career. An employer can take your job, they cannot take your knowledge. Even when you work for someone else, you work for yourself and the product you market is your skill and knowledge. When an employer cuts you loose, use the knowlege you have and never make the mistake your former employer did and hire employees. Look at how you feel toward your former employer. Would you want an employee thinking of you in the same way?

[Beeman]

You have 2 choices, play the "I want my unemployment" game or dust yourself off and go to work. I have seen people use this type of situation to motivate themselves to do better. I've even seen some take it on as a challenge to go head to head in business with the previous employer. I would just move on and go to work.

[sancraft]

I did medical billing for a number of years and did very well at it. I stopped after I got burned out with it. I never loved, just did it for the money. But if you enjoy that kind of work, start your own company. I believe you can download the necessary software from medicare, medicaid, blue cross/blue shield and champus now for free. Send that letter posted above asap. Then use the time your have the unemployment coming in to start your own compnay. Good luck to you.

[New Mexican]

Originally Posted by MorrisonCorner

PLEASE tell us you didn't sign anything! You did not sign anything stating you left voluntarily... right? Nor that this wasn't age discrimination, nor anything else, to get that check... right?

And PLEASE tell me the "severance check" was for wages due you... no more, no less.. right?,

No, I signed nothing. Also, I have no idea what the "severance" was. The day I left, they handed me a pay check and did not work after that. Then I get the "severance", equal to one month's salary. Not sure what it was for but I guess it's his way of saying,"and don't even THINK about applying for unemployment".

And thanks SO much for your letter of example. Should I wait to hear from unempl? I've already started the process the the boss (the president who wrote that letter) has prob. already recv'd his notification.

Also, I have contemplated "dusting myself off", Beeman. I'm very capable of working and have already had an interview. However, I do NOT want to go into the "business sector". I now want to go into what helps others.
I'll post that topic under another subject matter.

I just wanna see what happens w/unempl. It's those "rich folks" who do whatever they can to "screw" people. (sorry, I hate that word but it's the only one I can think of that is appropriate enough here )

[Mid Tn Mama]

You definitely won't get unemployement if you quit or if you are fired. If you dispute it you are risking not getting a reference.

If you really didn't care, you could send a letter as suggested above. Something like, "I'm so sorry for the miscommunication--I had no intention of leaving. See you 8am monday as always. Your trusted employee _______." Sometimes acting terribly dense but nice forces people to show exactly how small they really are. At least you will have the entertainment of seeing them squirm Monday morning

[DAVID In Wisconsin]

Do I understand correctly? You have not been into work for two weeks then you call the guy about changes? I think it was nice of him to give you one month's pay.

Find another job.