Lets make a deal, etiqutte of Buying/Selling

Muleman · #1 05/15/15, 02:40 PM

Used to be simple. You had something for sale, you put it in your front yard, you put a "For Sale" sign on it, and someone would drive up give you money and load it up and go. Now with the internet, Craigslist and Ebay, it is not always so simple anymore. Lots more opportunity for buyers and sellers, just not as simple to know the right way and wrong way to handle it all, sometimes?

Take for instance a few of my recent deals. I looked on CL and found an add for something I wanted. I contacted the man by email, then by phone and agreed to buy it. I then went to the mans place and bought it along with several other pieces, all totaled a little over $1,000. We visited a while and I told the man of other things I was looking for. The man said he had one of the things I was looking for bought, but he had not went and picked it up and did not know what he would want for it yet, as he had not even seen it. I told him I was very interested and since I work away and he was not sure when he would get it, just email me with some info. and a price once you get it, but based on the price of the other things, I told him I would probably buy it.

Fast forward and after a month or so I had emailed a few times to ask about it and he always said he had not had a chance to go get it yet. No problem I was in no hurry, just let me know when you do. Finally I get an email from the man. He tells me he had went and got the piece and if I wanted to see pictures and I price I could go on CL and look, as he had listed it the previous day? I was kind of surprised at that. I thought had been working on a deal. To me the correct way to handle it would be to email me with pictures and a price and say here it is let me know, but if you do not want it I will post it on CL. That just seems the right way to do it to me?

Long story short he listed it for $1500. Which was more than I really wanted to give and since he had bypassed our dealing I felt no obligation to purchase it. Honestly, if he had told me he gave more than he really wanted because he knew I wanted it, I would have felt obligated to take it and would have paid him for it. I emailed him back and told him I found the add, but it was really more than I wanted to give, could he do any better. I got no reply.

Now fast forward a few weeks and I am looking on CL and there it is still, only now it is $1250. You want to know the truth, if he had started there I would have bought it no questions ask, site unseen.

A few weeks later I go to his place and there it sits. I buy a few other pieces he has and look it over with him. Honestly, in person it did not look to hot. he was adamant that he had to have $1250 for it. I went home without it. He did say he was surprised he had not sold it and ask what I would be willing to give for it. $500 I said.

Fast forward a few more weeks, the man emails me and says for $750 he would deliver it to me. I simply told him I did not need it anymore.

Another CL deal comes up and I call, but I was too late. The man said his neighbor had one and he would give her my number and she could call me if she wanted to sell it. A few days later I get a call and we discuss it, but she does not give me a price. I tell her to think about what she wants and email me a picture or two along with a price and I would let her know, but I was definitely interested, and would probably buy it. I never get an email, but the next day I am looking on CL and what do I see? She placed an add on CL with all the info. and pictures? Why would you take the time to call someone in an attempt to make a deal, then simply turn around and list it on CL?

So here is my question? If you have something for sale and someone says they are interested and want to buy it, do you feel any obligation to offer it to that person first, before offering it for sale to the general public through an online source? I am not talking about holding something for weeks on end with no payment. I am simply talking what I believe is the right thing to do once you discuss a deal with someone, give them the first option to buy it.

simi-steading · #2 05/15/15, 04:11 PM

Bad sellers... If they really wanted the money, they'd work a deal with you first since you showed interest. Kind of like a bird in the hand...

The first guy I would have never dealt with again after he listed it on CL and knew I was interested...

Unmotivated sellers, they must not need the money... they got no clue what they do...

FarmerKat · #3 05/15/15, 04:57 PM

Well, if you were dealing with me, I would call you first. But I am old fashioned ... hehe.

I think that a lot of people today simply do not know how to deal with someone face to face or at least person to person. They are so used to post stuff on social media for everyone to see that it will not even occur to them to contact a person individually. How often does someone pick up the phone and call you you? I can count exactly 6 people in my life who will do that - their average age is 62.

sisterpine · #4 05/15/15, 04:58 PM

There are, obviously, as many bad sellers as there are bad buyers. I made a deal with a young man to purchase a goat milking stand that he made at home. He asked when I wanted it and I told him as soon as he could get it done. He thought a week. Three weeks and several attempts to reach him later...he calls out of the blue and wants to know if I could pick it up in a week? I said yes and asked for his address so that I might google it and make a map...he is about 65 miles from me sadly. I wait and wait for his call (he is not willing to disclose his address till the day of pickup (I think he is trying to be cautious with CL which is a good thing I suppose. Finally late the afternoon of the morning he was to call me, he phones and says he will be home in twenty minutes. Got his address and told him I would be at least an hour. Then of course I could not find it as there are no steet signs in Rincon Valley. Finally about two hours later he locates me and I follow him home. The milking stand is fine but the kid who is 15 is obviously the child of a yuppy type and very irritating to deal with. At least it is done.

Muleman · #5 05/15/15, 05:13 PM

I agree with ya'lls assessment. I just do not think people are used to dealing with people honestly much anymore. For all the social media, we are not so social it seems? I sell pigs and get a lot of calls and talk to a lot of people even though we do use CL and our website and my daughter puts info on her FB page and all. Normally every sale we make comes down to a phone call. I hold pigs all the time for people and always deal with them the same way. I will send pictures and information and point blank tell them. If you tell me you want it, then it is yours. I have another business where I schedule work in and I do it the same way. You tell me you want to schedule work in I will pencil you in the schedule, when you send in the work, send the payment then. Most of the times it is months in advance.

Now I will say on my pigs, we normally agree on a pickup time, after that they will either have to send payment or I will no longer hold it.

I know a guy who went to look at a piece of equipment at someones house. I mean actually met with them and agreed on a price. He told the man he would return the next day with a trailer to pick it up and he would get the cash money and bring it with him. The next day he shows up to pay the man and pick it up and the man tells him someone came that morning and bought it. I just would not do that. to me if we make a deal it is done. Now if you do not show up when you say you are, that is different.

I do have some people insist on sending a deposit on pigs, even though I tell them it is not necessary.

Patchouli · #6 05/15/15, 06:29 PM

I would have definitely felt obligated to call you first. I don't understand either of those people going to CL first. I think unfortunately it's a case of bad buyers that has made sellers more wary. So many people want it right now and as easy as possible or they just change their minds and never show. So it's better to get the item out there for as many people as possible and to take the first buyer with cash in hand. The whole system has broken down due to people who just don't keep their word.

In your case though since he knew you had paid promptly, had picked the stuff up when you said and showed repeated interest in the item he should have trusted you and given you first option on buying the item once he had it in hand.

Muleman · #7 05/15/15, 06:40 PM

Do any of you who sell things on CL hold an item for anyone? Here is a situation I run into at times. Items are too far away to go get the same day. Items are large or will require equipment or extra time to load, like some farm equipment. Would you hold something say until the weekend or arrangement could be made to load it. Most people do not trust internet payment forms, but to mail a money order takes 2 or 3 days to arrive at best, so many times if a person plans to come get the item in 2 or 3 days, the payment would not make it anyway, before they would? At the same time, it would not pay for someone to drive say 2 or 3 hours just to pay for something, then have to make plans to go back in 2 or 3 days or the following weekend with trailer etc. to load something. So how do you handle it when someone says they will buy it, but need to make travel arrangements etc. to come?

Again, I have sold things on CL before like equipment or 4 wheelers where people were coming from far way or out of state. Most times they call during the week, but can not come until they get off work on the weekend. In those cases I hold it for them, with no deposit and if someone else calls I explain the situation and tell them if the person does not show I will call them and they are next on the list. This seems fair to me?

FarmerKat · #8 05/15/15, 07:29 PM

Sometimes ... depending on what it is. If the phone is ringing off the hook, it's first come first serve. If I hold it, I keep the # for the people who called after and call them if the first person is a no-show. If someone tells me they are on the way, we will not sell it from under them. I have a funny story about this ...

A while back I had a piece of furniture that everybody wanted (I had no idea, it was an inexpensive piece from Pier 1). A woman said she was coming at 11 AM on Saturday, she had about 45 minute drive. She was in touch while driving. We had it outside because we were having a garage sale and got many offers on it. We told everyone it was already spoken for. When she showed up, we told her we could have sold it for twice as much as we listed on CL just that morning. Her reaction? "Well, why didn't you?"

... Well, because you were driving 45 minutes to get it, that's why!

When we sold our truck on CL, we took a deposit and we paid a deposit when we bought an enclosed trailed. In both cases it was the weekend and there was no way to get that much cash without going to the bank.

Nimrod · #9 05/15/15, 07:35 PM

I think that your sellers have seen too many episodes of Let's Make a Deal or have huge expectations because of the auctions On Ebay. Your offers are taken as the first offer and they think they can get more by listing it.

You can still get good deals on CL but there are lately many more people listing stuff at very high prices to see if there is some sucker out there that will pay that.

I really like how you left the guy hanging that jacked you around .

Patchouli · #10 05/15/15, 10:11 PM

I would hold it for someone for the weekend if they needed me to and I would do the same as you take anyone else's name and number that was interested and let them know if it fell through.

logbuilder · #11 05/15/15, 10:38 PM

I've noticed a difference when I am selling between urban and rural. When I put something on CL in my urban location, people will call but never show up. I tend to go with 'first money buys it'. I would be receptive to a down payment via PayPal to hold it but if they didn't show, I would keep it. I just don't like new phone calls that I have to turn away cause someone says they want it but have no skin in the game.

It is different in rural. Folks tend to do what they say.

moonspinner · #12 05/16/15, 11:33 AM

I only hold items with a deposit. I raise and sell goats and dogs and have been burned by people saying they were "definitely" taking it and either keep postponing or never to be heard from. One time I had a pup for sale and someone contacted me from about 200 miles away saying she would absolutely take it that weekend when her family was traveling through my area. She kept corresponding all week, gave me her phone # telling me she still wanted the dog. She even left me a message the morning she was supposed to pick up saying she was just leaving her house. When she didn't show and I later called asking what was up she hung up on me. An obvious prank. And I could have placed the pup with someone else but she had in the meantime found another dog. Lesson learned.
Early on I was so worried that I would ruin my reputation if I refused to hold something, ala Indian Giver. But now it's first come w/money or deposit and no holding otherwise. And I put a deadline on the hold too; deposit will not be refunded if the buyer procrastinates.

TheFarmerMommy · #13 05/16/15, 12:32 PM

I'll hold a big ticket item with a deposit. When I sold the dinky little John Deere when my ex and I split, I had a ton of interest on CL. I'd listed it at less than what a dealer would charge, but more than what they would have given me. The first guy to make it out to look didn't have a trailer, but gave me a cash deposit and called later that day to tell me he'd made arrangements with the local JD dealer to haul it. Smooth transaction. The one time I did the same selling livestock, it nearly backfired on me, though. Guy out down 50% on a team of horses. ($3000) And promptly went shifty about contact. Snowmageadon happened. Whole time I was freaking out that one of the horses would injure itself or somethibg. I didn't have any other offers on them at the time, and he finally got them 1.5 months later. No more deposits on livestock. Pay and haul 'em that day.

In general, I do give an informal preference to local buyers if all things are equal. I had another horse up for sale recently. Guy from 2 hours away contacted me, wanting a slew of pics before he would come. I was having trouble obliging because it was in the worst of this winters cold and storms. I'm single. My kids are helpful, but neither is big enough to stand up a 19hh draft for good conformation pics. the days I might have had adult help available, the lighting sucked. Meanwhile, a bunch of folks who were closer in and willing to just come over and see the horse were interested. I assume as a buyer that if I lose the thread with the seller, something similar has happened. And that's Ok with me on CL stuff.

As a buyer, I don't trust people online enough to send a deposit for an item I haven't seen. Unless it's a site like a couple of the cattle ones where they offer an escrow service. When I sold a group of cattle this spring, I noticed a new scammer trick. Dude texts and acts extremely upsets that the cattle sold. Do you have any more? When told no, they ask for the buyer's info, as "maybe they'll want to sell one?" Uh, heck no. I'm not giving out the buyer's info. It's a trick to get around the new anti-spam controls CL has in place.

Muleman · #14 05/16/15, 01:52 PM

I have got to say I have been real lucky with my CL deals so far. May bet took tomorrow? So far I have sent out deposits for stuff and never had a bad deal. The only ones I have been frustrated with a few times were the people that refused to take a deposit or said it was not needed, only to find when I contacted them back to arrange to come pick up an item they would tell me it had sold. Honestly, there have been cases where I would have made some different arrangements to get it sooner if I had known they would not hold it for me as they said?

Now, I will admit to getting frustrated with a few customers. I know there are some first time livestock buyers who really need a lot of information to help them decide. But when a person just keeps calling over and over wanting more and more pictures and unimportant information, it gets old after a while. I had one person call for about 2 months like this. Each time he was planning to come, but never made it. Not sure what ever became of him. I finally just stopped giving any detailed answers and he stopped calling.

Very interesting though some of the issues you all have run into.

Ozarks Tom · #15 05/16/15, 03:48 PM

It's got to be something to do with the internet age. 25 years ago there would never have been a question whether a deal was made, or not. I'm wondering if maybe so many people who have no experience selling are involved, and to people who are used to the anonymity of the web, it's a whole new ball game.

I've driven from Springfield MO to Toledo OH to buy a Gravely garden machine. Oh boy, would there have been some problems if it hadn't been there when I got there.

Muleman · #16 05/16/15, 03:55 PM

Tom, I think it does have to do with an age thing a bit. My word means something to me. I just contacted a guy today about a motor. I told him I wanted it, but I was away at work and it would be 2 weeks before I could come down, but I offered to send a deposit. He said it was not necessary, but he would see if he could get it on a stand so I could hear it run when I got there. I know not everybody is that way, but even never have seen it, I would not back out on the deal, even if I had to borrow the money to get it. I can almost guarantee he will be an older gentleman when I go to get it.