Trying to understand

[M5farm]

It seems that I don't quite grasp what most here think is rural living. I can understand having an acre or two and trying to be more self sufficient. I understand that different rules apply to those situations when dealing with neighbors and such. I have been on this site for about a year and it is a common theme to have issues with your neighbors . WHY? to me the problem seems to be that people want to live in the country but want city and town rules to apply. We do things different, we get along with our neighbors. I have never had a problem with someone moving into our community unless they were from a city or town and then they think their rules are the only ones that matter. Sometimes people need to understand that blending in and not creating an uproar is more beneficial to good neighbor relations. I also know that when people come into a community and disrupt things the original neighbors do things just to tick people off. Its not being rude it a just a way of life.

[billinwv]

There shouldn't be a difference between city and town rules and rural rules when it comes to being a good neighbor. Keep your pets and children on your property, shut that nonstop barking dog up, don't hunt my property without permission, keep your livestock behind good fence, don't pollute the stream that flows from your property onto mine(dumping 5gal of used oil in the creek was not cool), if your dog gets in with my goats and they beat the crap out of it I'm not going to pay the vet bill, and the list goes on. Some folks are just not civilized, city or country.

[SouthGAMan]

I don't personally have any close neighbors. I only have 10 acres but my nearest living neighbor to the south of me is about 400 yards, to the east about 450 yards, to the west about 600 and probably almost 750 yards away to the north. That being said my 3 closest neighbors and I get along very well. We help look out for each other on the rare occasion someone needs something too.

I have however lived inside city limits both in apartments and also owned a house with a .53 acre lot. Seems like there was always some sort of unruly neighbor...playing music too loud or the guy who took me to court because ONCE my backyard flemish giant got out of the chain link fence (by digging) and was in his yard for like 5 minutes (never mind the fact his cat took countless potty breaks in my yard that I never mentioned because it was no biggie to me). BTW the judge through that nut out of court.

We do need to try to get along with neighbors assuredly. Unfortunately the sad truth is that often people cannot get along and will never agree 100% on everything (this even happens with brothers and sisters sadly enough). In the meanwhile we need to work to compromise and deal with issues the best we can. Some people excel at that and others are terribly inept at it.

[Ozarks Tom]

We all have a tendency to talk about our problems rather than how wonderful things are going.

From your description of how "rural" people deal with newcomers in your area, doing things "just to tick people off", I'm hard pressed to understand your complaint about some of the posts here. That doesn't sound too neighborly to me.

[M5farm]

Originally Posted by billinwv

There shouldn't be a difference between city and town rules and rural rules when it comes to being a good neighbor. Keep your pets and children on your property, shut that nonstop barking dog up, don't hunt my property without permission, keep your livestock behind good fence, don't pollute the stream that flows from your property onto mine(dumping 5gal of used oil in the creek was not cool), if your dog gets in with my goats and they beat the crap out of it I'm not going to pay the vet bill, and the list goes on. Some folks are just not civilized, city or country.

maybe they shouldn't be a difference in rules but I can assure you there are. People that were born and raised in an area and the neighbors have been neighbors for generations there will be things that outside people do not understand. When I was growing up fences were just a marker people did not care if you crossed their property and it still applies to a handful of us in my community because we were raised to respect other people property and treat it as it was yours. all of my neighbors have permission to enter my property and get what they need and I theirs. A parcel of land close to me was sub divided to 5 acres lots and they will call the sheriffs dept if you turn around in their drive way. They moved in and are intent on changing things. what would have happened if when they came into our community they tried to blend in and become part of a it instead of thinking they needed to change it to what they came from.

[M5farm]

Originally Posted by Ozarks Tom

We all have a tendency to talk about our problems rather than how wonderful things are going.



From your description of how "rural" people deal with newcomers in your area, doing things "just to tick people off", I'm hard pressed to understand your complaint about some of the posts here. That doesn't sound too neighborly to me.

OT, not all people that move in are buttholes. like I said the ones that immediately create a situation because things are done differently in the country are given an opportunity to adapt but if they are always calling the authorities because they don't like something or always complaining about our normal way of life then people will not have any consideration for them. My community is a farming community tractors run 24hrs a day. I shoot my gun when I want. I hunt armadillos at night. I might decide to ride the dirt road at 2oclock in the morning. Being neighborly goes both ways.

[billinwv]

Originally Posted by M5farm

maybe they shouldn't be a difference in rules but I can assure you there are. People that were born and raised in an area and the neighbors have been neighbors for generations there will be things that outside people do not understand. When I was growing up fences were just a marker people did not care if you crossed their property and it still applies to a handful of us in my community because we were raised to respect other people property and treat it as it was yours. all of my neighbors have permission to enter my property and get what they need and I theirs. A parcel of land close to me was sub divided to 5 acres lots and they will call the sheriffs dept if you turn around in their drive way. They moved in and are intent on changing things. what would have happened if when they came into our community they tried to blend in and become part of a it instead of thinking they needed to change it to what they came from.

I'm sure the subdivision near you didn't make you happy. This was probably former land you hunted on, drove your 4 wheeler on etc. Maybe you have a grudge with your loss more than the new neighbors. Would like specifics as to changes the new neighbors are bringing about. Did you take the muffler off your vehicle to be more annoying on your late night drives? LOL

[M5farm]

no grudge here. 20 acres split in 5acre blocks is not substantial. Its not next door and The good folks that live there that I talk to have asked my opinion on what to do because their neighbors are giving them fits about everything from burning to yard lights to what animals they have. I read the same thing here where one neighbor does not like what the other neighbor is doing. Its no different than city folks moving in next door to a chicken farm and trying to get them shut down because of the smell.

[billinwv]

I do have a problem with folks that move in next to an existing situation and then complain. My neighbor has a 40x50ft. manure pile about thirty feet form my line. I don't like it, but it was there when I bought the property. I just upped my fly predator order.

[Snowfan]

Not too far from here a city guy bought a small chunk of land so he could "raise my family on sunshine, fresh country air and good neighbors". He must have done lots of research because he bought a chunk of land just a couple hundred yards downwind of a hog farm. I heard this guy actually called the police on the farmer for violating some kind of odor ordinance. He soon moved his family back to an apartment in the city. I'll bet a lot of tears were shed.

[grandma12703]

When I read a lot of complaints on here about neighbors, etc I a thankful that we have the place we have. We have been here going on two year. Great neighbors who help each other out. We do this for them and they do that for us. Not just one neighbor but two. We do have a new neighbor and we still haven't had the chance to get to know them yet. We did take them some Christmas fudge and they seemed happy about it. I am sure they are going to fit in just fine. These are 20-40 acre parcels so neighbors are not right up against you by any means but still close enough to help if needed. Where I grew up we were on a ranch far from neighbors but all of the local farmers and ranchers respected and helped each other out. No one really had a problem with farm dogs crossing over once in a while but if they killed someone's livestock your dog would not be coming home. You didn't tell anyone that they weren't doing something right just because you did it differently. You might ask for advice and then it would be given. Farm living has changed in my 50 years and in my opinion not always for the better.

[Miss Kay]

Years ago we bought a couple hundred acres of Ozark hills. It was beautiful with bluffs, forest, and a clear spring fed year round creek. The neighbors on the other hill had 8 or so little kids (all boys as a matter of fact) and they thought nothing of property lines or fences. They climbed the fence (you could tell because it was where the staples were popped and the wire was on the ground), hunted in the woods, and swam in the creek. We didn't live there yet but would camp out on weekends and ride the 4 wheeler. Once while we were down riding in the bottom next to the creek, we came upon them. They ran like little turkeys to hide in the woods but we called them out. We introduced ourselves to them and spent a few minutes getting to know them before driving off. They were cute and not really hurting anything and we used to do the same when we were kids so we didn't make a big deal out of it. When we got ready to build, we had to run electric wires from a few hills over. The utility company had to cut a path down the mountain, right across their farm. Yep, we had to get an easement from them if we wanted electricity. We had the paper drawn up and found our way over the creek and around the tiny dirt road and came up on a little shack so to speak. We honked and out came a shy women with little ones hiding behind her legs. We introduced ourselves and explained our situation. She called the boys out who were hiding behind the door and said, "is this the people you were telling me about" and they shook their head yes. She reached for the papers and in no time, we had dozers out clearing to install our power lines. I have no doubt if we had ran those kids off, no amount of money could have bought her signature.

[big rockpile]

Lived here for 17 year. You see all my neighbors. Yes none. The one that owned property on the East lived 50 miles away, would only come around couple weeks a year.

Had trouble with him all the time we lived there, he hated me. Won't get into details all that happen but he finally bought me out at my price.

Have never for the most part ever got along with all my neighbors. At present having trouble with a couple from Canada that moved down here, thing is I've really never talked with them.



big rockpile

[am1too]

Originally Posted by billinwv

There shouldn't be a difference between city and town rules and rural rules when it comes to being a good neighbor. Keep your pets and children on your property, shut that nonstop barking dog up, don't hunt my property without permission, keep your livestock behind good fence, don't pollute the stream that flows from your property onto mine(dumping 5gal of used oil in the creek was not cool), if your dog gets in with my goats and they beat the crap out of it I'm not going to pay the vet bill, and the list goes on. Some folks are just not civilized, city or country.

I can understand bringing some of the city ways with you when you arrive in the country. What I can not understand is why those city wanna be country folks do not seem to take on country living.

[ChristieAcres]

We don't have any issues with our neighbors, except for at the very beginning. The day we closed on our property, we spent the night here to celebrate. DH had taken the name signs off the root ball that was on our property (by our driveway), and he placed them next door by a motorhome (belonging to one of the daughter's of the Seller, the POA, who handled the sale). The following morning, she, her DH, and her extremely irate SDS, showed up right outside our trailer door. Instead of a warm welcome, I actually got yelled at?! Turns out the root ball was placed in the wrong spot, as none of them understood was an "access easement was." It was done by their deceased DF and he made their name plates & hung them up for Christmas years ago. We only knew we bought a property with a root ball with other people's names on it... So, I walked over with them & told them to go ahead and re-hang them. Then, I calmly explained they owned an access right, but didn't own the property under the root ball. I then made arrangements with the POA to have this root ball moved. The DD who was the most upset? It turned out her DS hadn't even told her our property was going to be sold. She had found out it was sold the same day we closed on it... I believe she would have bought it, had she known, as it adjoins hers. When I found this out, I realized there was more to her anger. She apologized and told me she wasn't angry with me, but her DS instead.

The only other issue? Another DD of the Seller lives two properties over. She came over here a few months ago, informing me a logger would be using our driveway to log her property. I told her very nicely that it would be better if she had access through her own property. Then, I promptly called up the logger, who we both know, and told him we would not be granting access for this (again, nicely explaining why...we didn't want our driveway torn up and there was no legal right to use it for this). Everyone "got it," and what I got was respect.

Besides these two incidents, there have been no others. They all know we want to be good neighbors, but will not be taken advantage or allow our property rights infringed upon. The logger and his wife are now friends of ours and I go visit with one of the DD's of the Seller (whenever they come). In addition, I am on great terms with the other DD. The POA is not friendly, but civil.

I think I earned some points, when I went to check on the Seller and her DD. When there was a fugitive on the loose, I armed myself and went over to check on them. I wanted to insure they took precautions and knew we were just a phone call away if they needed any help.

Before we even bought our property, I introduced myself to the woman who lives a few properties over (much bigger parcel). I was nice and respectful to her and didn't care that she looked a bit rough. Another time, I met her husband walking with their baby. He is the cutest rolly polly thing, but looked like he was rolled in the dirt. When I grinned at him, his big blue eyes just sparkled. I told the young man what a cute baby he had. I then told him who we were and about buying the property. We are nice to all the neighbors and wave to everyone... This everyone includes some people we are "warned about."

There were reports of mail being stolen, but ours wasn't. When there were reports of items being stolen off properties, nothing was taken from us. I have no idea who is responsible, but glad we are being left alone.

While situations can vary, we have found being nice to everyone, being helpful, but not putting up with any nonsense? We rarely have more than one negative experience with anyone. I think we have been fortunate not to deal with the type that "just doesn't get it." There are people who are terrible neighbors to others. I feel badly for any who have had to deal with that.

My take? You buy a property and have a right to enjoy living there. If your rights don't infringe upon another's rights, then no one should complain.

[hippygirl]

We've lived here a little over 14 years and have met only TWO sets of neighbors in all that time. Now, we all know each other on sight and wave to each other when passing, but there's no contact otherwise. No one is "unfriendly", just private.

Suits me just fine!

[geo in mi]

Designer jeans or Wranglers, doesn't matter. A decent person may be wearing either one.

"The world isn't full of jerks......however, they are strategically placed, so you'll come across one nearly every day of your life."



geo

[Jennifer L.]

Some people are just mean who don't want to get along with others, and probably enjoy being ticked off at them so the fight is on all the time. I think they thrive on it, and they won't ever change.

If someone like that moves next door to you, your quality of life is going to go down hill and there's probably nothing you can do that's going to make it better.

The kicker is, you can get along with these people until they perceive a slight that you might have done against them, and then they turn on you.

There's nothing you can do about people like this. You just have to avoid them.

BTW, some people say they grew up with neighbors walking on neighbor's land and everyone was fine with that. That's not the way it is here. If it's not your land, you didn't walk on it. City people often seem to think a farm is like a public park and it's ok to walk on it. With the taxes in NYS, why they think they can walk on private land always boggles my mind, but it's definitely a city attitude.

[M5farm]

to the ones that have gotten the thread back on track thank you. I am not a mean person and to your surprise I get along with all of my neighbors. I am at fault for saying what I think and really don't care if people like it or not. My neighbors are the same and it a dynamic or our community that off puts a lot of people. I also don't understand why people don't want to be told the truth. Its a feel good society I guess. I have a neighbor that joins me that has hogs and I suggested he put his pen next to me. the smell of 6 pigs does not offend me. during my child hood we had over a 1000 head of hogs. Several years ago my other neighbor let a lady and her son put a trailer on a piece of his land that joins me. it started out rocky with her demanding I do this and keep my dogs off this and so on and so forth. it was soon rectified when she understood that she would not win a battle and she needed to adapt. Its not world changing but people need to understand The things that are major issues in a suburb or city setting is not very important to us in the country. they think we are being rude or unneighborly because we don't place the importance on the same things. the important things are helping a neighbor that has a piece of equipment down and they need to finish. Preparing a meal when the family is sick. Offering to care for their animals so they can visit family or take a vacation. fixing their fence because it got torn down and the list goes on and on. people that have always lived this lifestyle understand it.

[am1too]

My personal experience is sad because of a lack of community. Seem s like every one here are stand alone people wanting only superficial relationships meaning wave when you pass them on the road.