Parents' or grandparents' opinions?

[Jnlcosta]

Hello!

I was curious what everyone's parents or grandparents thought about you homesteading?

My dad always told me stories about him growing up poor in rural Va and how he hated milking the cow and laying down to work under a vehicle and realized he laid in chicken crap. Lol Sad but it was the reality of farming out of necessity. I know he thinks I'm kinda crazy for wanting to start our own homestead with meat animals, chickens, dairy goats and possibly a dairy cow etc. I can tell he is also kinda proud of me for doing it too. I know my papa, who passed away a year ago, would laugh and give me a hard time while also showing me his support. It's been almost a half century since farming was the norm for most families and now it's gaining popularity again at a rapid pace! Especially with the younger generation. Pretty exciting!

[karenp]

The only ones I have left are my mother and her mother. My Mom just shakes her head and thinks I'm nuts. I tell her in a SHTF situation we will do our best to get her here. My grandmother knows we have a garden and animals, it doesn't seem to phase her. She turn 100 in January. She wouldn't come here no matter what, there's only one way she's leaving her house.

[Twobottom]

My father was from the generation where people who didnt work with their hands made out better than those that did. My father was college educated and ran two businesses. That was during Americas good time of growth. The industry he worked in doesn't even exist any more.

I think he would be proud of what I have accomplished, and he would definitely think it was interesting. But he admired lawyers, doctors, and engineers more than farmers.

There is also the idea in some members of my family that you're not 'employed' unless someone hands you a pay check. So they would rather see me work 30 hrs a week and get handed a pay check that doesn't cover my food, heating and expenses than work 50 hrs a week for myself and cover it all.

At the end of the day its all just someone else's perspective and opinions. Luckily, we get to make our own decisions based on our own circumstances.

[Jnlcosta]

Originally Posted by karenp

The only ones I have left are my mother and her mother. My Mom just shakes her head and thinks I'm nuts. I tell her in a SHTF situation we will do our best to get her here. My grandmother knows we have a garden and animals, it doesn't seem to phase her. She turn 100 in January. She wouldn't come here no matter what, there's only one way she's leaving her house.

Lol it's funny you say that because we usually tell them that we are planning ahead incase the SHTF. 😉

[Horseyrider]

My mother understood. She was a sharecropper's daughter during the Depression.

My father didn't understand. He was a wealthy surgeon's son who thought I had lost my mind. He's been to my house exactly three times in 31 years, the last two times within a year or two of each other. The first time he came was to see if we'd bought a dump.

If my in-laws thought anything about it, they never shared it.

My grandparents had passed by the time we moved here. My maternal grandparents would have understood; my grandmother still grew much of her food in her final years. My paternal grandparents would have been embarrassed to death.

That could have been fun.

[KentuckyDreamer]

We have been searching for the right property for two years now. Reading, planning, saving, etc. I share much of my progress with family. Only one supporter.

My grandmother lived with me and died in April at the age of 99. She had grown up "dirt poor" and did not want me to pursue homesteading. As a child her dream was to live in town and have sidewalks. She could not see me living in mud and working so hard to garden. Funny she did not see the ulcers and stress of my working for the county

My oldest son tries so hard to help me find a place...I have to be kind when he brings me his ideal for me. He is really concerned I will not have central air conditioning. My poor baby

[siletz]

Only have my mom left and she tells me all the time that she thinks I work too hard. She's probably right, but I'd much rather do this than drive to work in an office job in town.

[whiterock]

My folks are all gone now, but all were farmers, so would be glad I'm still holding on to what is left.

[Jnlcosta]

Part of our reasoning for wanting lots of land and to raise our own meat and food on a homestead is to help take care of our parents. We buy organic pastured meat so raising our own would be cheaper. We want to provide food for them and to also have space for our parents if they need to live with us one day.

My dad still loves to garden but I think it was taking care of the animals that he didn't like while growing up.

[jwal10]

I saw how happy my Grandparents were growing up. Even though my Grandad passed away when I was 12. I remember how much he appreciated his little "farm", So I am doing the same as he did. He farmed until heatstroke almost killed him, moved to Oregon. He didn't have much money so he bought a rocky 5 acres near the river. Small house and a nice barn. He regained his health and worked as a clean up person at a lumber mill until retirement. Very nice people to work for and it gave him time to putter and garden. They were very happy there. He was near great fishing and rockhounding.
I bought this little place after I too became sick and then regained my health. It was just a place to go and get my hands in the earth, back to my roots while living and working a great job in town. Only 1 acre but the best soil around with a great gravity fed spring. We also have a small 4 acre "farm" that we use for fishing, swimming and a large family garden spot. We tore down the old barn and rebuilt using the old lumber but on a concrete floor and stem walls so it had more headroom for storage downstairs and a small primitive apartment upstairs. Just a hand pump on the well. No electricity on the property. I know my Grandparents would approve of our early retirement and being able to enjoy what we do have....James

[crazyfarm]

My grandma was a farm girl. She thinks I'm stupid. She's not quiet with her opinion.

My mom thinks I'm weird but she loves to come out and see my animals.

If my DH's parents have an opinion I'm not aware of it.

[FCLady]

When I married my husband he had custody of his 6 yr old son. Growing up I was always
the stupid, evil stepmother. He was always looking for a way to criticize our lifestyle and couldn't wait to move out with his mother, he did when he was 16. He's nearly 30 now and he and his family are moving in next door to help us enlarge and keep working the farm...their goal is to buy it all from us before we die so he doesn't have to share it with the other kids! I must have done something right?

[emdeengee]

My Father and FIL were both raised in the country. Dad was raised on a huge estate and FIL was raised on a wheat farm. Both were highly educated with 4 doctorates between them. Dad used his in engineering and aerospace. FIL was a world famous agronomist whose books and papers are still used today. Both always gardened and were especially busy in retirement. Both were great outdoorsmen and hunted and fished.

When we started homesteading FIL was deceased but my Dad was very enthusiastic. However he very clearly told us to learn all we could first and to keep in mind that education and a well paid job allowed you the freedom to do exactly what you want. Poverty just frustrates you. And he was completely right.

Both my Mom and MIL thought we were going to work ourselves to death - and they were not wrong - but they both had much very valuable experience to pass on to us from their era.

Both my husband and I had an advantage in that our parents believed that everyone should be able to take complete care of themselves. This was very useful because there was no such thing as gender specific jobs in our relationship. We both did/do everything as it is demanded.

My husband learned a lot about animals and agronomy because he was a city boy who grew up on a farm. He spent all of his spare time with his father on the Experimental Farm so was exposed to everything from greenhouses and field crops and orchards to all the animals. So I am sure FIL would have been very interested and helpful. What my husband learned at his father's knee was very useful but also led to quite a few discussions about what was practical on a homestead. We really did not need Clydesdales and that caused a bit of pouting.

[FarmboyBill]

My GPs never have said a qword about it. Folks both came offa farms and I was born/raised on the farm that was my grandmoms.

[light rain]

I assume that you and your husband are both under the age of 40 so you probably don't read the obits. regularly. Being older I do. I like to see if there are patterns or increased numbers of deaths in our area. I think it gives a little more information to our local area that we may not see through media. Anyway, try to be careful and smart around big animals and equipment. I think a lot of times those are the situations that can add up to injury or death. Also chemicals that you don't fully appreciate the effect on lungs and other parts of the body.

Other than that, the people that seem to live the oldest and have the ability to move around and take part in life are the ones that grew up and grew old on farms and are/were married. I think part of the reason is the necessity to keep moving in order for things to maintain and produce. I hope that your lifestyle brings you health and happiness!

[light rain]

And another thing. If you grow your own fruits, vegetables and meat you know exactly what chemicals and bacteria it has been exposed to and how long it sat somewhere after picked/killed before being processed and shipped and sold and arrived at your home. That information could be considered priceless...

[big rockpile]

It was a way of life for us. I was working for a Dairy Farmer at 8 years old. 50 Cents an hour. Hauled Hay made 2 Cents a Bale, took my money bought Bottle Calves for $5 apiece.

When I got married I was Hauling Hay, Picking Walnuts, Trapping and cutting Firewood. My wife on our wedding night locked me up until I promise to get a regular Job. So I got a Job at the Feed Mill. Left there went to work at the Bakery where my Dad worked. He had his Farm.

Saved enough in two years to buy my first Farm. Have been basically living off what we raised or got out of the Woods and or Streams since.

My first wife her Family was Loggers and worked in the Saw Mill. My present wife her Dad was a Retired Hard Rock Miner, her Mom worked in a Poultry Processing Plant. They had a Farm.

big rockpile

[Jnlcosta]

Originally Posted by light rain

I assume that you and your husband are both under the age of 40 so you probably don't read the obits. regularly. Being older I do. I like to see if there are patterns or increased numbers of deaths in our area. I think it gives a little more information to our local area that we may not see through media. Anyway, try to be careful and smart around big animals and equipment. I think a lot of times those are the situations that can add up to injury or death. Also chemicals that you don't fully appreciate the effect on lungs and other parts of the body.



Other than that, the people that seem to live the oldest and have the ability to move around and take part in life are the ones that grew up and grew old on farms and are/were married. I think part of the reason is the necessity to keep moving in order for things to maintain and produce. I hope that your lifestyle brings you health and happiness!

Thank you!

[Muleman]

My wifes parent know nothing about farming, although my FIL does know a lot about honey bees, was offered the job of state bee inspector when he retired from the AG&F. I am tying my hardest now to get my youngest to get some bees from him and learn all she can from him.
My dad always worked as a marine engineer. They had a dairy before I came along and he has all kinds of stories of growing up and farming and raising livestock. he likes the idea of farming, but he never really farmed for a living except early on before I was born. he is getting to old now to do much, but likes coming over and telling stories while we do stuff, he helps when he can as well as my mom.
I was in a local antique store a year or so ago and an old man was setting up front talking. I found another repairable crosscut saw and when I brought it to the front he ask if I was gonna hang it on the wall. he made the comment that "I bet you never seen one of them actually used have you?"" he seemed kinda taken back when I told him I had and I intended to fix this one and use as well. He told of how much wood he had cut as a kid with one. I remember him saying "Heck, my kids would not have a clue what to do with one". I wanted to say so bad "Well, who's fault is that??" but out of respect I did not.
That is one thing that always bothers me! I hate hearing older folks running down the younger generation because they don't know how to do something. Then you ask them if they taught their kids, they did not!! How is the next generation supposed to know if we do not pass the knowledge on??
We may be making leaps and bounds learning new things, but at the same time, lots of old technology is simply being lost. All good things to talk about and visit here about, but if we are not DOING anything to teach our kids this lifestyle, it is all meaningless. Seeing really is believing, until children see, it is all just distant stories with no real application or meaning to them. You can tell a child about raising pigs all you want, place a piglet in a child's hands, now it has meaning, now it is real.
Read and learn all you can, in the end it is more important to get out there and do. Don't let anyone discourage you from this lifestyle you have chosen. We WILL all make mistakes. You show me someone who has never made a mistake, I will show you someone who has never done anything!!

[Danaus29]

My grandparents on Mom's side were upset that I didn't marry a farmer and stay in the area. Mom and Pop say I need to move to a real farm out in the country. Mil thinks I'm nuts but the feeling goes both ways. (she has over 3 acres and doesn't even have a garden!)