Which would you choose?

2happymamas · #1 06/30/13, 10:59 AM

We are considering a move within the next couple years and would like some input with this decision. We hope to get pregnant with #3 within the next 2-3 months and would not be interested in moving until the child is 2 years. Moving with an infant does not sound like fun, lol. As with most big decisions, there are a lot of factors to consider and DW and I would love to hear others' thoughts.

Option 1:

Stay put. We live on 1.5 acres in a city. We both drive about 15 minutes to work and kids' school is only 7 minutes from here. DW works M-F and I work 4 days per month, 12 hour shifts every other weekend. We owe about 130k on the house and it would likely sell for 170-175k. We have 2 gardens, bees, raise about 100 meat birds per year, have layers, and three dairy goats. There is enough room here for all of that. We love our neighborhood and have made some really great connections with others who are likeminded. It's within the capital city and it is pretty socially liberal, especially considering it's Indiana. Our neighbors are cool with our animals and we do not have any problems with them. It's worth mentioning that we love our house. It was the original farmhouse when this was farmland. We've put in so much sweat equity and there is very little we would change about it that we can't change. There is plenty of room in this house (5 bedrooms, 2 baths) and I gave birth to our babies in this house

One serious consideration is that while we live in a nice neighborhood, the area is very pocketed and is on the "not nice side of town", re: lots of crime). There is a lot of crime and drugs in the area. In the six years we have been here, our house has been broken into once, our shed has been broken into once, and there have been two unsuccessful attempts to get into the house. We've since cleared the front yard (couldn't see the house from the street before) and the house is now more visible from street. And we are going to put a gate across the drive so people can't drive back. Still, we're not sure that the more criminal aspects of the immediate surrounding area won't encroach eventually. There are at least 4 murders weekly within 3-5 miles of here. Most are drug and crime-related...we don't choose to use drugs and don't associate with the population that is typically affected by the murders. Still, it's close enough that people come looking for houses to rob. We've just been lucky enough to not be home when people have tried to get in our house.

Option 2:

Move a little further east. We could get about 10 acres for 140-170. May or may not come with a barn and fenced in pasture, although this is something we would REALLY be on our short list of requirements. A barn and fenced in pasture would be more likely here than for option 3. It's a really good possibility that it would come with fenced in pasture and a barn. Land is pretty much cleared in this area. It would mean that we would have to drive about 30-35 minutes each way to work and the kids' school. We love their school and would choose to keep them there (it's a private school and we are not comfortable with the public school options). This would mean that extracurricular activities would also take longer to get to. This area is much more rural and the girls could have a horse. Our dream is to have a small hobby farm and in addition to our current animals, we could add the following: more goats, turkeys, a steer or two for meat, a couple lambs for meat, and a couple heritage pigs for meat. It's a much more conservative area than where we currently live and SIGNIFICANTLY more conservative than option 3. Being a two-mom family, this is something to consider. But, it's not the end of the world and by no means a deal-breaker. We're good people and can get along with pretty much anyone. There are not any good examples to show at this time, but they are out there.

Option 3:

Move about 1-1.5 hours south of here. Beautiful area, very socially liberal. My sister and her kids live there. We would expect to pay about 200k for 7-10 acres. Would be less likely to have cleared pasture and a barn, although it is certainly possible. I would be able to drive up for my 4 shifts per month and stay with family on the Saturday night, go to work, and drive home Sunday after I get off work. DW would have to drive 1-1.5 hours each way to work, although there is the possibility that she would be able to go to a 4-day work week. There's also the possibility of her finding another job after we move, but this is in a college community and jobs are hard to find. She's been at her current job for 17 years and it would be hard for her to secure the same rate of pay. Probably not impossible, but really hard in her field. As the main bread winner, this is an issue. We absolutely LOVE this area. It's also heavily forested and the chances of finding already cleared land and somewhat slimmer (but certainly not impossible). The kids would have to attend public school, as there are not any good private school options available in the area -- the only Catholic school is VERY CONSERVATIVE and, given our family composition, it has been made clear that it would not be the best environment for our kids. The public schools are pretty good and the public high schools excel academically. This is an example of a home in the area (we LOVE this home and wish we were in a position to move now.)! We also like this house, but it does not *get* us as much as the above example. We just LOVE log homes, lol. Still, it is about 40k less than the other and we really like it, too.

Thoughts?

Tacoma · #2 06/30/13, 11:13 AM

Lots of options to think over. As I have aged, property taxes have gone up & up and before I would ever move, I would have to know my fixed expenses at another location. It never goes down, insurance and taxes are 2 things that get harder to pay. Also the price of gas, always going up. Just my opinion.....

Harry Chickpea · #3 06/30/13, 11:42 AM

Stay. You have a good situation for you to sit back and wait for REALLY good deals. Any extra land you are getting is the property of the animals you plan on putting on it. 1.5 acres is pretty standard for a farm house, garden(s) and immediate outbuildings. I'd be hesitant to rush to buy property for pigs.

Miss Kay · #4 06/30/13, 12:30 PM

Stay where you are. It works for you and you already know what you have. Driving is expensive and makes for very long days. I hate commuting to work but have spent my life doing it. Here's another option. Start a fund to buy some land for the future such as when you retire or as a vacation place. We bought our first farm long before we planned to move. Watch for a great deal since you are in no hurry and then have somewhere to go with the kids to "camp out" so to speak. Consider it an investment. Once the kids are older or you are near retirement, then see if you still want to build a little log cabin to retire in.

lemonthyme7 · #5 06/30/13, 12:43 PM

Unless your 2 biggest deciding factors are being near your sister and being in a socially liberal area I would not go with option #3. Driving 1 - 1 1/2 hours a day to work will get very tiring for your DW very quickly. Also, you said the prices are much higher in that area for the same amount of land as you can get in option #2 and you would have a chance at more cleared/fenced land, possibly with a barn in option #2.

It actually sounds like you have a pretty good deal where you are now. As you said you probably wouldn't be moving until baby #3 (now in the planning stage LOL!) is 2 years old, that gives you almost 3 years to decide what to do. Good luck in whatever you decide.

Wolfy-hound · #6 06/30/13, 12:46 PM

I'd definitely stay.

One thing I have ample experience with is a hour+ commute daily one way to work. It drains you. Think of how many hours that is wasted. Add up the math, your significant other would spend anywhere from half a day to a whole day JUST driving every week if you went with option 3.

I would not go with option 2 at all. It sounds like a stress-inducing nightmare in the making, no matter how nice the little farm would be.

If you stay, you're all still in an area you love, where things are going well. You never know what might pop up in the next few years that might be so ideal, you can't believe it. Or you stay there and save up money and move later on. Things can change.

Just my $0.02. No one can make the decisions but you and yours.

plowjockey · #7 06/30/13, 02:20 PM

Hmmm

Leave a house that you "love", so you can commute 3 hours a day, verses 30 minutes?

Move "outside town", to a rural area, that eventually everybody else will move to, commuting 50 miles, to kids school activities?

You don't really want to hear my answer.

rambler · #8 06/30/13, 03:47 PM

Driving over 45 minutes one way gets really, really, really old after a while. Works for a couple years if there is a reason for training, or family, or a slow move to settle and work in a new area, but as a long term plan for both of you, that gets really really old.......

I'd weigh that carefully.......

Paul

Alice In TX/MO · #9 06/30/13, 05:20 PM

I vote Stay.

IndyGardenGal · #10 06/30/13, 05:24 PM

Can't blame you for wanting to go with Option 3. We love the area as well, and are considering a move to the general area in a few years.

2happymamas · #11 06/30/13, 05:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IndyGardenGal

Can't blame you for wanting to go with Option 3. We love the area as well, and are considering a move to the general area in a few years.

I know, it's so gorgeous. It does not make sense it terms of the commute, but Bloomington is beautiful, in so many ways. We also LOVE Brown County/Nashville, but that would be an even longer drive for DW. She needs a new job, lol. Seriously, though. She needs a new job.

Living in that Bloomington or Nashville would be a dream.

IndyGardenGal · #12 06/30/13, 05:40 PM

We used to go to Nashville every so often, before we had kids. Realistically, we won't be moving for at least a few years. It's always nice to see what's available there.

Vosey · #13 06/30/13, 05:43 PM

I would be very cautious about the commute. I now commute 35-45 minutes depending on the weather. My job is much less stressful than before we moved but I am just as exhausted, all from the driving. It is worth it as we now have land we didn't in town.

I think it'll all become clear over the next couple of years. Ideally option 3 sounds good if DW could find a job there. Wonderful to be around family and have more land.

In 2-3 years the neighborhood could change as well and that might be a deciding factor.

I'd be careful moving to a very conservative area. Why live somewhere you run the risk of not being accepted, with possible consequences for your kids, when you have other options? Life is too short to be adding any additional stress.

Jupiter · #14 06/30/13, 05:46 PM

Bloomington is beautiful & it is liberal, BUT the politics are a pain in the bum...still very much small town thinking. There are so many restrictions on what you can & cannot do on your own property.

BlueRose · #15 06/30/13, 05:50 PM

Stay where you are and save up some money. What for a place that jumps out at you and says 'buy me, now'

willow_girl · #16 06/30/13, 05:53 PM

What about Option 4? Stay in Indianapolis, but look for property in a safer neighborhood?

BTW, I've visited your city a couple of times over the years, and it's wonderful!

tinknal · #17 06/30/13, 08:04 PM

Unless you felt that you would be in danger or unwelcome I'm wondering why "socially liberal" is so important to you. I live amongst a great diversity of beliefs, and I love it.

2happymamas · #18 06/30/13, 08:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tinknal

Unless you felt that you would be in danger or unwelcome I'm wondering why "socially liberal" is so important to you. I live amongst a great diversity of beliefs, and I love it.

You may have missed the part where I indicated we are a two-mom family. Yup, we got the gay.

In all seriousness, I do not want to raise our children in a place where it may be more likely that they would be ostracized or bullied due to their family structure. I know it can happen anywhere, but would be less likely in a more socially liberal area. I also know that all kids will get picked on for something, but I don't want it to be for something as personal and intimate as their family. Safety also comes into play. It may not be likely, but hate crime is very real and I would not want to increase the risk of one of my family members (or myself) being a victim. As parents, we feel it is our responsibility to protect our children and part of protecting them is keeping ourselves (the parents) safe.

Maura · #19 06/30/13, 08:57 PM

Your area is unlikely to become more safe. I would get out while it is still possible.

Keep looking, particularly in areas that would enable your spouse to have a short commute and you kids to go to a good school, even if a different school. If you really want to live near your sister, maybe DW could do some research and find out what jobs are available. If she has a degree, she can get a second one in a more lucrative field by taking the right classes. As much as I have no problem with you staying home with the kids, you might also consider taking classes that would give you an employment opportunity in the area you want to live in. Even with a toddler, you may be able to work part time.

BTW, that second house you posted is going to be noisy. Those high ceilings bounce sound around. Not to mention the wasted space. People love to visit a house will high ceilings, but everyone ends up in the kitchen because in reality, people feel vulnerable in a room with a high vaulted ceiling.

2happymamas · #20 06/30/13, 09:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Maura

Your area is unlikely to become more safe. I would get out while it is still possible.

Keep looking, particularly in areas that would enable your spouse to have a short commute and you kids to go to a good school, even if a different school. If you really want to live near your sister, maybe DW could do some research and find out what jobs are available. If she has a degree, she can get a second one in a more lucrative field by taking the right classes. As much as I have no problem with you staying home with the kids, you might also consider taking classes that would give you an employment opportunity in the area you want to live in. Even with a toddler, you may be able to work part time.

BTW, that second house you posted is going to be noisy. Those high ceilings bounce sound around. Not to mention the wasted space. People love to visit a house will high ceilings, but everyone ends up in the kitchen because in reality, people feel vulnerable in a room with a high vaulted ceiling.

I agree with you...the area is unlikely to become more safe. It stinks because we LOVE our house, the neighborhood, and the immediate surrounding community. If you go about 3 miles from our house, you run into the really poverty-stricken, drug-infested area of town. The homicide rate is unbelievable and that's all a part of living in a large metropolitan area.

DW and I both have Master's degrees in social work and I don't see either of us going back to school anymore, lol. Hell, I still owe 60k in student loans from my undergrad and graduate work. Boo. I work part-time now and make decent money. I can be home with the kids, work every other weekend, and still make close to 40k per year (still a little less than 2/3 of DW's salary). There is a new, inpatient hospice center in the town we *love* and I would be honored to work there. My sister is also friends with the Director of Social Services and so that would be a foot in the door. I work in a hospital now and would have the experience needed to be a viable applicant. If that failed, I could do part-time, home hospice for my current employer in the county immediately north of Bloomington. That would make my drive only 20-40 minutes, depending on where in Bloomington we found a home.

I also forgot to mention that my wonderful ILs live about 20 minutes from Bloomington (the place we love). They would kill to have us move there, as it would allow them to see the kids more throughout the week. They are great people and we have actually named them as guardians if something should happen to us. My FIL told us that his wish is for us to take the girls out of the city due to crime and the city environment. He's a real country boy and loves those girls with his whole heart.