ISO Good read for someone against eating farm rasied

[jcatblum]

DD13 has now decided she doesn't want to eat any farm raised meat. Tried to explain the reasons it was better, but I am just her mom what to do I know. I am not against her going Vegetarian, but she really doesn't like most veggies!
Anyone recommend a good book for her age that tells about factory vs farm. I know lots of books are out there, but need something for a 7th grader.

[haypoint]

Factory vs Farm? I'm not sure that's the way to go. Creating a hobgoblin out of Agra Businesses as a way to convince someone that home raised is better is not so reassuring.
What is it that she is against? Is it that she doesn't want to eat animals that she knows? Is it a fear that your farm raised animals are processed in less clean environment than the stuff in the store? Figure out what's bugging her and I might be able to find some information to reassure her.

[jcatblum]

Sorry, should have been more clear. She no longer wants to eat the animals she loves. We have eaten farm raised & she didn't ever have an issue, but they were not from our farm, just purchased locally. She has eaten our chickens & ducks no issue. She even is the one who catches them & brings them to the kill cone. But once it came to the goats then came the issues. Guessing she has more of a bond with them. So instead of saying she wont eat goats she is saying no more meat at all. If we sell all the weathers they will go on someones table, and she knows that.

I just want her to understand why some people prefer to raise their own meat start to finish. She is 13, so chances are none of us really know what we are talking about.

[Marilyn]

I think any of Joel Salatin's books would be understood (or mostly so) by a 7th grader. The "Omnivore's Dilemma" by Michael Pollan would also be a good one, but I think I would get it on CD's as it's HUGE, and she may lose interest if she had to wade through it. I borrow it from our library from time to time. It sure makes a road trip more interesting. It did more than anything else to bring dh over to the side of avoiding anything that had come near a feedlot.

Now, if you think she might actually be leaning towarde vegetarianism, there are three books I would recommend. "Diet For a Small Planet" by Frances Moore Lappe and "Recipes For a Small Planet" by Ellen Buchman Ewald will go a long way toward showing her how difficult it can be to eat a healthy vegetarian diet. There's a lot more to it than just "not eating meat", and as an adolescent female, she needs to be very concerned about proper intake. Once she has all of that down pat, a very good book with a lot of interesting recipes is "The Healthiest Diet in the World" by Nikki and David Goldbeck.

I am not vegetarian, in fact I eat more meat now that I have access to farm fresh, but I enjoy some meatless meals and the books mentioned at the beginning helped me to keep everything in balance for a growing family.

Has your daughter given you her reasons for the sudden dislike of farm-raisedmeat? Knowing her reasoning will help you through this.

Okay, her reasons came through while I was posting. You might need to just ride this one out. I assume she has spent enough time with the goats to know their personalities - and grow to love them. I think you're in a tough spot; but still, she needs to know that there is a lot involved in learning to stay healthy while she learns to eat differently.

[65284]

Simple solution! Cook what you usually cook, put it on the table, she either eats it or she doesn't. Don't turn your kitchen into a special order meal making place for one person that isn't on a diet dictated by health needs.

I'll bet she eats what you serve before she starves to death. If you give in on this issue no telling what she may demand next

[simi-steading]

Man does this bring back memories.. up until I was 18 and left the house.. You took something of everything put on the table.. you didn't get up until you ate it.... I remember many a night sitting there for a few hours until I got tired of sitting and finally gave in and ate what was served...

I wasn't alone in this.. I remember a lot of my friends had the same things happen to them.... Back when kids followed the parents rules or paid the consequences..

I think around 13 is when kids start to decide they are their own person and know better than anyone else...

[haypoint]

If you have a 13 year old female in your house and the only issue is she won't eat anything that had a face, consider yourself lucky. While male development is retarded at 13, girls excel! Argue with mom, manipulate dad, toy with boys. Emotional roller coaster. One minute tumbling in the hay like a 10 year old, next seeming more like an 18 year old. Sweet as honey when she wants something, evil as sin when told no.
It passes.

[CesumPec]

I suggest you do something radical and not fight her, but respect her decision. She's 13 not 6, 13 is old enough to start making a few decisions and what is more fundamental than what she eats. If I understand you, she doesn't want to eat Billy because she loves him. How would you have felt at 13 if your parent had made you eat Fido?

If you make a big deal and fight her on this, you either win and make her feel beaten and not respected, or you lose and teach her to fight you on other issues as well. Either way is not good for your relationship with her. What is the worst that will happen if you tell her you disagree but respect her decision? You will make more healthy vegetarian dishes? She will learn that you are not an adversary and that you respect her as an intelligent person. When she gets tired of not eating meat, if won't be so hard for her to give in and change her opinion if there wasn't a big fight.

I wouldn't go crazy making a bunch of different dishes you wouldn't have done anyway, but having one thing she approves of won't hurt your budget or the family diet. Get her involved in the cooking process and let her make her own dish and have some input on grocery purchases. These are skills that will serve her well later in life no matter what way she ultimately goes on vegetarian or not.

[katheh]

I would treat it as a phase. Typical for 13yo girls. I would not go out of my way to make different things for meals, though. Wouldn't make her eat them, but offer limited alternatives. If she doesn't want to eat meat, I see LOTS of beans n rice in her future, gotta get that protein.

Any of my boys are welcome to the cereal box or the PB&J if they don't care for what's for dinner.

[65284]

Originally Posted by simi-steading

Man does this bring back memories.. up until I was 18 and left the house.. You took something of everything put on the table.. you didn't get up until you ate it.... I remember many a night sitting there for a few hours until I got tired of sitting and finally gave in and ate what was served...

I wasn't alone in this.. I remember a lot of my friends had the same things happen to them.... Back when kids followed the parents rules or paid the consequences..

I think around 13 is when kids start to decide they are their own person and know better than anyone else...

Somewhat like that when I was a kid. The table was set, you took what you wanted and ate all of what you took. Not forced to eat anything.

But, if there was something you didn't like no whining was allowed, you just didn't eat it, and for sure didn't complain about it.

[Alice In TX/MO]

Teach her to cook. If she doesn't want what you put on the table for the family, she can cook her own. Decision, then consequences, and not necessarily bad consequences.

[jcatblum]

I always encourage her to try things, she has added new foods into her diet this yr. I don't force her to eat entire meals that she doesn't like, take 2 bites has always been the rule. She has went to bed many night hungry. I have never given her the option to have a different meal, if she refuses to eat what everyone else is then she isn't hungry.
The Omnivores Dilemma was the first book that came to mind, but I didn't want it to be overwhelming.
We raise meat goats for meat & all of our animals can't be her favorite. We have 4 does kidding within the next month. She has always known the offspring bucklings were for meat.
I understand her having an attachment to them, but they can't all be pets.

We had a foster boy that wanted to be a vegetarian & the phase lasted about 3 months. With DD I want this to be an educated decision, not an emotional one.

[geo in mi]

You want to try some meatless things? Sure, let's get a few recipe books, some guidelines on protein intake, some vegetables from our garden, a few special ones from the store-- and a few days a week we'll cook together,. I'll give it a try if you'll help out, and remember that we will still have our traditional meats on the table too. Deal?

geo

[countryfied2011]

I suggest you do something radical and not fight her, but respect her decision. She's 13 not 6, 13 is old enough to start making a few decisions and what is more fundamental than what she eats. If I understand you, she doesn't want to eat Billy because she loves him. How would you have felt at 13 if your parent had made you eat Fido?

If you make a big deal and fight her on this, you either win and make her feel beaten and not respected, or you lose and teach her to fight you on other issues as well. Either way is not good for your relationship with her. What is the worst that will happen if you tell her you disagree but respect her decision? You will make more healthy vegetarian dishes? She will learn that you are not an adversary and that you respect her as an intelligent person. When she gets tired of not eating meat, if won't be so hard for her to give in and change her opinion if there wasn't a big fight.

I wouldn't go crazy making a bunch of different dishes you wouldn't have done anyway, but having one thing she approves of won't hurt your budget or the family diet. Get her involved in the cooking process and let her make her own dish and have some input on grocery purchases. These are skills that will serve her well later in life no matter what way she ultimately goes on vegetarian or not.

I so agree~

I have never liked the idea of forcing someone to eat something they don't like, or you can't leave the table until you eat such and such. My parents tried every which way to get me to like liver(even so much as to tell me it was something else) I am 57 now and I still HATE the stuff....lol

I can understand your DD, I am having a hard time eating the meat we raise(except chicken) although tame rabbits are delicious...every time I eat them I have to work through the emotional aspect of me raising them. We have a coming 2 yr old steer(freezer camp soon) that I raised from a bottle at 2 days old...that I know is going to be hard for me...I am a very emotional person when it comes to animals...and regardless of what I know needs to be done...it doesnt change how my heart feels. Maybe she feels the same way...give her some time~

[okiemom]

I have a picky eater ( not quite the same but close) I respect his decision to not like onions. I jjust cant not cook with them... so if he doesn't want onions he is responsible for cooking. "put your money wher your mouth is kind of thing.

I get it... and I gave him options like big pieces so he can pick them out or soo little he can't see them..

there are always options... we just may not like any... but there are always options.

i am trying to learn from him. even thou he is only 10.5 he still has valid point and can teach me things... but one does not control the many... sorry not in my house.

[fireweed farm]

I was 14 when I decided to go veg. I still ate eggs/cheese/fish, so basically I wasn't lacking much. The western diet has WAY too much protein in it.
My parents made an appointment with a dietician, made me cook my own "meat alternates", and even took me to a night school course on becoming a veg. And gave me a book on teens becoming vegetarians and how to go about it in a healthy way.
They were pretty hard on me, thinking I was going to waste away and die. Guess what- I turned out great. It took about 15 years for them to realize this.
I now raise my own guilt free eggs now, eat a few home raised rabbits a year, and raise up the thanksgiving and Christmas turkeys for the family.
I figure if they are willing to work for it, and not just sit back and eat KD, let them have it. And maybe have 1-2-3 veg dinners as a family per week you'll all be healthier for it.

[Mulegirl]

I agree with the responses that say "teach her to cook and let her help plan meals"--that, to me, is the most useful way to go. She'll develop a skill, and learn better how difficult it is to plan balanced meals with limited protein options. And if she really wants to stick with it, she'll learn how to do it well, not like a family member of mine who decided to go vegetarian and promptly started losing hair because of protein deficiencies. Plus, she'll get to know what's it's like to be an adult and have people respect her decisions, but expect her to act on them in an effective, non-half-a**ed way.

[Miss Kay]

You've got some great advice here. Your daughter sounds like a thinker so I think I would explain that if you are going to eat meat, wouldn't you much rather eat an animal that was cared for humanely and had a wonderful life. If she chooses not to eat meat then realize that livestock is not pets. If everyone felt they should not be eaten they would soon disappear from earth. In fact, some species have gone extinct because folks stop eating them, thus stopped raising them.

[SilverFlame819]

Can you sell the goats you raise, and use the money from them to buy farm-raised goats from someone else's farm?

I know it sounds crazy, but I have a cousin who could never kill his own sheep, so he sold them off and bought sheep from someone else to eat every year... Worked for him!

I fully understand where your daughter is coming from. I have always had issues eating rabbit because my mother butchered out the rabbits I raised when I was young, and they ended up on the table. I just couldn't do it. I completely stopped trusting all the meat she put on the table. So take my advice here, and don't try to trick her - it will only cause more issues.

There are lots of books out there about the horrors of the CAFO industry, but it sounds to me like she's not necessarily saying she wants to support those - she just doesn't want to eat her friends. And who can blame her?

I say if you want to support farm-raised meat but she won't eat Flower, sell Flower and buy Goat #875FK from Joe Blow down the road for her to eat... Or simply let her know that you raise the animals you have for meat, and that she doesn't have to eat them, but you will not be buying meat from elsewhere, so vegetarian is her only choice.

It may not be the way you want things to go (an emotional choice vs. a rational one), but her emotions are involved, and that's why many people end up going vegetarian. To her, it IS rational. She doesn't want to eat her friends.

She sounds like an intelligent kid... I was reading things WAY more advanced than The Omnivore's Dilemma when I was a 7th grader... How about The Compassionate Carnivore? It's a bit more "simple"?

There is nothing your daughter will be missing out out protein-wise if she's still eating other animal proteins, like eggs, so don't worry yourself about that.

And the whole "you'll sit at the table until you eat" thing? Yeah, I spent MANY nights sleeping at the kitchen table. That won't teach a stubborn girl to eat, it will only make her resent you, or feel even stronger because she won in the end.

Have you considered getting some vegetarian cookbooks so that you can enjoy cooking together without making her feel ostracized because of how she feels? There are some super great veg cookbooks out there with every-day, NORMAL ingredients, so you don't have to go off the deep end...

So many options for you! Please let us know how it goes.

[fireweed farm]

Originally Posted by Miss Kay

You've got some great advice here. Your daughter sounds like a thinker so I think I would explain that if you are going to eat meat, wouldn't you much rather eat an animal that was cared for humanely and had a wonderful life. If she chooses not to eat meat then realize that livestock is not pets. If everyone felt they should not be eaten they would soon disappear from earth. In fact, some species have gone extinct because folks stop eating them, thus stopped raising them.

Suggesting that pigs cows or chickens will go extinct if people stop eating them is ridiculous. Yes, of course the only way to "save the pigs" is to confine them in warehouses with concrete floors pumped with antibiotics and GMO corn and never let them see the sun. That way they won't go extinct? Huh?