Fundraisers for down on luck people

opportunity · #1 03/04/13, 03:08 PM

Why is it that there are always fundraisers for those that don't plan and get sick or hurt yet there is almost no help for those that have choosen to help themselfs?
I just saw a flier for a local man who has been diagnosed with brian cancer he is an independant contractor and can't work now so they want everyone to come support him with raffle tickets dinners and whatnot. I guess I'm heartless but why didn't he plan to have insurance to cover this type of thing? My husband and I have been living on a very tight budget since he was diagnosed in 2011 but we have recieved less then $200 in support from anyone. We are just lucky the hospital is taking payments as it's hard with you have almost no income for 6 months. My husband had to return to work while on chemo to make ends meet, but you bet we still find a way to pay for our insurace

CarolT · #2 03/04/13, 03:23 PM

I frankly think your family should have held fundraisers for you. Most of the fundraisers here are not the sick person but someone wanting to help. Even though you have insurance, it's obvious you don't have enough. Yes, it would better if everyone could plan ahead _and_ afford to act on it. We thought we'd planned our retirement and we recently found out it is gone. Every red cent. So much for planning, huh?

sidepasser · #3 03/04/13, 03:39 PM

Carol - sorry about your retirement. What happened, did your fund go broke or your employer?

OP - the thing about fundraisers is that it is meant to help and it is each individual's choice whether to do so or not. That is perfectly acceptable to me as it is not mandatory that we do so.

What I do not like is that I have to support those that did not plan (through bad choices or simply not caring) and I have no choice but to help.

I have never received a dime from anyone as "help" and there have been times I really did need a bit of help. I just picked myself up and got going. Many can't do that and if their relatives want to hold a fundraiser I reckon that is fine as I am not forced to participate (unlike other forms of "help"). Most of the time, I do choose to help and will send what I can or purchase/drop money in a bucket, etc. I can't help everyone, but folks that I see struggling to make ends meet and they are trying but just need a little edge, I give/donate/help however I can.

Bearfootfarm · #4 03/04/13, 03:40 PM

Quote:

why didn't he plan to have insurance

Maybe he does and people just WANT to help

plowjockey · #5 03/04/13, 03:42 PM

Your are judging someone you know absolutely nothing about. Maybe he has 5 kids to feed and his wife is sick, too. Maybe his friends or family just want to help him out.

We had a tow truck owner, who did not have health insurance, but spent nearly 40 years, pulling stuck vehicles out for cheap, sometimes free, if they did not have the money to pay, or if a loved one, was killed in the auto accident. He once came out and lifted a downed horse for us - no charge, since he liked horses.

He volunteered for lots of stuff, including teaching kids to build and compete with robots ( he was a tow truck driver - never went to College.)

When he nearly ripped off his arm, when a chain snapped, people didn't think twice, to get out their check books, for his fundraiser.

This brain cancer patient fundraiser, is not asking anybody to give if they don't want to.

It's good that you are still able to make your insurance payments.

MO_cows · #6 03/04/13, 03:51 PM

Oppo, I think this is only bothering you because of the stress of everything you have been going through and dealing with. Let it go. Don't resent these people for trying to help their loved one with a fundraiser. Best wishes for a full remission for your dh.

opportunity · #7 03/04/13, 08:30 PM

I know it's mostly that I'm under pressure but we gave up a lot. We don't have any family here and a lot of friends didn't do anything at all not even help with the animals we had or watching our son (we had to send him away to live with my parents for a while it was really hard on him being a toddler) There is a fundraiser for someone just about ever week here and it's only a town of 7000. At least this guy did have a job most people here are on welfare, they don't even try to work

where I want to · #8 03/04/13, 09:51 PM

There are lots of them here too. Some are even on the local news show. Almost all with people I don't know. And sometimes I feel guilty not participating, especially when a child is involved. But that is my own hang up.

I know it is hard to forget that you didn't get what you needed when it was so important. That is a shame. I'm sure that all of us have had situations like that where someone you have helped has not come through for you when you needed it.

GrannyG · #9 03/04/13, 10:08 PM

In our little town, when someone has a terrible accident or even cancer, they set up a love fund at the bank and all who wish can donate to help the family..even our area churches help, for example, a local man was with his boss, a rancher, and the truck was hit head on and burst into flames, the local rancher died at the scene as well as the people who hit them, the passenger was pulled out but has broken bones and injuries..he has been in the hospital and is now been discharged...he has three young boys and no wife....a local family took him and the children in, and everyone is trying to supply food and help for him, another young man just got married, was married three months, and became very ill...diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer...we have had several big fund raisers here to help them...you never count on illness or near death accidents...Your churches and community should help you....bless your heart, I pray for healing for you and your family...We are lucky to live in a caring community....

sisterpine · #10 03/04/13, 10:21 PM

I come from a small town that does that same thing! I always thought it was just a way to say to someone that you are thinking of them and hoping this little bit of good will is helpful in an over whelming situation???

Karen · #11 03/04/13, 11:13 PM

It could be because of the type of cancer and treatments that he needs. A lot of health insurance companies don't pay for some treatments, chemo, or even surgery.

It could also be that he was unable to get health insurance due to either being self-employed (thus $1,000 a month for coverage) or has had other health issues and unable to get insurance due to pre-existing conditions.

Or it just could be that it took everything he had to keep a roof over his family's head and feed the kids and health insurance was out of the question. Employers don't give health insurance benefits much any more.

Instead of being jealous that someone else got the help when you didn't, please just be happy for them that they have people who care enough to help. It isn't his fault he got sick and just happened to have caring people around him. Perhaps he's been a good guy that gave up a lot for others during his life and they just want to thank him for it now that he needs the help. You never know unless you walk in someone else's shoes what the 'real' situation is. Things are not always as they appear.

Harry Chickpea · #12 03/04/13, 11:19 PM

As long as contributing is purely voluntary and any amounts are anonymous, I have no problem with fundraisers. People can then give or not, based on their own beliefs. There are a few things that DO bug me though.

First - public notification of the donor of large contributions. That converts it from fundraiser to popularity contest and ego-stroking for those in the public eye.

Second - (and I used to have to do this) Fundraisers where a captive audience is tapped. The Jimmy Fund and another charity used to have us go up and down the aisles of movie theatres collecting. That is a violation of personal space that has been paid for with a ticket purchase.

Third - Fundraisers for the families of those in the military. We just learned locally that the average pay for civilian workers on the Redstone Arsenal is $75,000 per year. The government can't pay those who enlist a living wage, while at the same time overpaying civilians in non-combat positions? And people are not up in arms at the disparity and are instead colluding by creating fundraisers? I understand the immediate intent, but the long term effect is one of continuing a system that is massively unjust to those who put their lives on the line.

geo in mi · #13 03/05/13, 06:38 AM

I don't know, I just got out of the hospital after a three day stay after surgery--the total bill(so far) is about $80,000, including the surgeon....... Though I have insurance to cover it, I have to say it would take 4,000 plates of spaghetti to cover that. We have a little girl in our church community with spinal bifida, who, every summer has similar surgeries to help lengthen her legs to accomodate her growing body, so there's no way her family can begin to cover that--and it probably would take 20,000 plates of spaghetti, at least.

I can't save the whole world, can't even do all that much to relieve this little girl's family cost of carng for her. BUT I can, give what I can, when I can, where I can, and believe God will sort it out and bless it.......

geo

soulsurvivor · #14 03/05/13, 06:58 AM

If you need extra help in a crisis type of situation then you need to let people know. Word gets around then and hopefully something will be done to assist with the immediate needs. I don't know of any that have ongoing fund raisers but certainly most respond with an initial donation.

PrettyPaisley · #15 03/05/13, 07:12 AM

I think it has much more to do with the people you know and how they are willing to up step up. So if you are friends with or in contact with people who are likely to act you get the fundraisers. Otherwise you just don't.

Belfrybat · #16 03/05/13, 07:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by opportunity

I know it's mostly that I'm under pressure but we gave up a lot. We don't have any family here and a lot of friends didn't do anything at all not even help with the animals we had or watching our son (we had to send him away to live with my parents for a while it was really hard on him being a toddler) There is a fundraiser for someone just about ever week here and it's only a town of 7000. At least this guy did have a job most people here are on welfare, they don't even try to work

Change churches if the members of your church did not come forth with assistance after you had shared your plight. Part of being in a church is to be in mutual support each other. The Bible tells us so.

To give you an example. I live in a town of 1000 and just had a spaghetti lunch fundraiser this past Sunday--judging from the number of $100 bills I saw in the collection jar, it was a great success. We have a young lady in town who was diagnosed 4 years ago at 9 years old with brain cancer. Both parents worked and had insurance. So they had made as many plans as possible to take care of themselves. The insurance company did not pay for all the treatments for some reason so they were left with a very large medical bill, plus they have to take her 200 miles for treatment. Due to complications the girl has blinding headaches that prevents her from attending school so one parent quit work to take care of her. The father still works but has to take off a lot for the medical trips, so he dropped down to half time so he can keep the insurance. This is a very responsible family who have fallen onto hard times. Their church sponsored the first fundraiser a couple of years ago, and now the town is pretty much involved. But it began with the family swallowing their pride and admitting they were in trouble, then their church, and now most of the busnesses in town are pitching in.

So people can end up with severe needs even if they've done everything possible to plan for emergencies.

Jennifer L. · #17 03/05/13, 07:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by opportunity

Why is it that there are always fundraisers for those that don't plan and get sick or hurt yet there is almost no help for those that have choosen to help themselfs?
I just saw a flier for a local man who has been diagnosed with brian cancer he is an independant contractor and can't work now so they want everyone to come support him with raffle tickets dinners and whatnot.

First of all, I'm sorry your husband has had to go through chemo, and I hope it's working out for him (and for you, too).

I think the people that have those dinners are really social people and a lot of people know them. So it's easy for them to have friends that will do that for them. It's simply a matter of personality. These are people who go to church or belong to the volunteer fire department, or have a line into some other local social organization either by belonging themselves or have family who belongs. You have to be able to tap into those organizations. That's just the way it works.

You know darned well there are many more people in the community that need that same kind of help, but either they don't have the friends or family who will organize it for them, or they are too private to air their problems to the community and/or don't want the charity because they find it embarrassing.

As far as lack of health insurance, many simply can't afford it. If you want to work for yourself you'd better be successful or you won't be able to afford it. It's why so many farmers have part time jobs or their wives do, off of the farm.

jadedhkr · #18 03/05/13, 08:08 AM

We are relatively new to our area. Been here about 3 years, but as soon as word spread about my son a fundraiser was set up. It was spearheaded by one of his teachers who's mother had been through cancer. I never asked for the help and was overwhelmed that so many strangers came out to support a child they had never met.

They continue to sell hats and bracelets and send money home with him on occasion. I've thanked and thanked people, but it feels strange to accept the help sometimes. We do have insurance and no debt, but still have a lot of bills the insurance won't pay, so it helps.

I'm sorry your community hasn't offered to help out, but please don't judge too harshly. We didn't ask for the help and never would have, but so many people just want to do something to help.

Sonshine · #19 03/05/13, 08:14 AM

It's unfortunate, but you can't always plan on every contengency. I thank God that my small town had fund raisers for my family when my first two kids died and 3 months later I gave birth to a premature baby who died a few days later. My husband's insurance would not cover the newborn and for just a couple of days the bill was ridiculously high. We didn't have life insurance on the kids at the time of their deaths, the oldest was only 2 yrs old. Guess we just didn't think they would die so early.

7thswan · #20 03/05/13, 08:18 AM

My Dh got hurt at work, he had workmans comp. even tho he had to have surgerys-we had to sue to get the help. People don't know sometimes that others don't/won't do their part.Do you realize how hard it is to get what you pay into like Social Security when you are unable to work anymore. But I guess everyone better realize Now, don't count on anyone,especially the goverment.