where do you draw the line - kids helping out

hoggie · #1 08/28/12, 02:12 PM

If you have children (or when you were young) where is the line between the jobs that kids should do just because they are part of the family, and the jobs they can do to earn some pocket money?

My DD is 10yo and helps around the place a lot. But I have said that this year I would like her to do an extra few jobs to earn the money for her dance class.

It won't in reality make any difference to my finances as I will be the one paying her anyway, but I would like her to start understanding how much all the extras in life cost. She has a few "extras" and her music lessons are crippling me - hence the suggestion that she do some extra jobs to earn the pocket money to pay for the dance lessons.

What happens in your house?

KyMama · #2 08/28/12, 02:21 PM

My 14 yr old has his standard jobs that aren't paid, such as cleaning his room and feeding the animals. That's not all he does, just some examples. He gets paid for the jobs that I don't want to do, like cleaning the litter box. And he only gets paid if I don't have to tell him to do it. As far as how much to pay him - I kinda figured out how long it takes to do the job and based his pay on minimum wage. If he does all his jobs he can make over $25 a week. I honestly don't remember the last time I paid him anything because I have to remind him constantly to do the chores. None of his chores are optional, not even the paid ones.

HTH

Wendy · #3 08/28/12, 02:34 PM

This is just my opinion..take for what it's worth..

I don't PAY my kid's anything..as they should be responsible for helping w/the chores in the house as dh work's to pay the bill's so they have a roof over their heads,food to eat,clothes to wear...

Sorry, I'm no help I know..

meanwhile · #4 08/28/12, 02:46 PM

We used to have jobs that were "just because you are a member of the family" and for those no pay was given. Everyone chipped in just because they live here. It was jobs like dishes, clothes, dogs/cats, vacuum, anything about cleaning one's room, and chores that were basic outside chores.

We then had jobs for which I was paying a man who helped us out. He made $15.00 a hour for some jobs and $18.00 a hour for others. We had a list of those chores and any child (I have three sons) who did the job, got the money. Our theory was that if I was going to have to pay someone outside the family, I might as well pay the boys and keep the money at home. The boys were asked to save half of every money they earned and they could spend the other half.

About two years ago, my husband became sick and suddenly was unemployed. For 16 months now, my sons and I have been the only income for the whole family. After we had family meeting, the boys offered to stop getting paid for work until our family is back on its feet. Also, my older two boys moved home to help out. I am very proud of them. Part of what inspired them to help out and know it was necessary to help was that they knew first hand how much work and money it takes to keep this place up. Since they knew the chore list and knew how much it costs, they understood how badly I needed their help and support.

At age 10 your daughter is, in my opinion, too young to know the full household budget but she is old enough to understand how much her outside classes cost and how much the shoes or clothes costs. Teaching a budget it so important and I applaud you for starting early.

meanwhile · #5 08/28/12, 02:48 PM

One more idea - some children like charts. My older son loved charts and the younger son (middle son hated them). We used charts to show what chores they did and how much they earned. Older son also liked making his own "bank statement" and he kept up with how much was in his savings account and how much he spent on CD's or candy or how much it cost for a concert ticket. He was shocked to see how much CD's and candy cost! Seeing the money amount in print made a big difference.

Good luck.

DaleK · #6 08/28/12, 03:11 PM

Jobs that are part of living life are free... jobs that contribute to something that earns income are paid.

Copperhead · #7 08/28/12, 03:49 PM

For me, it depends on the level of their maturity and responsibility. If I have to remind and supervise and inspect (and suffer an attitude), its FREE. If my 13yo son feeds both groups of goats, the chickens, the turkeys and waters everything as soon as he gets home from school without any intervention on my part, I'm only too glad to send some cash his direction. For a while, we even had weaned bottle calves, pigs, and a horse as well that were part of his daily chores.

Honestly, he does well. Occasionally I'll double check to make sure I'm not being "slickered", but if everything is fat, happy & healthy, he keeps good faith and credit with me.

dollmaker · #8 08/28/12, 04:25 PM

Helping in the household is just a normal part of living there. It also helps kids to feel a member of the family.

Pocket money is for teaching money management. Pocket money for household chores I consider is like paying someone who is not a member of the family.

Earned money is from doing work for others....neighbors, etc.

gunsmithgirl · #9 08/28/12, 05:53 PM

Most daily chores are not paid here. However when I am really busy they get paid to take over 1-2 of my chores on days when I need extra help. I usually pay by the job, determined by how hard it is and how long it takes.

mekasmom · #10 08/28/12, 06:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hoggie

What happens in your house?

My kids are grown now, so this is just from the past. But, "no free rides" is a good motto. They earn money by working, doing well in their studies, etc. A perfect, neat math paper is worth a quarter. We played flash card type games for a penny a card. They earned money by feeding critters, doing dishes, helping their dad roll hoses for the business, etc. A well written essay could be worth a dollar if it was neat, correct, well thought out, etc. We homeschooled, so they probably earned about $5 a week or so from school work. Extra money came by the hour for helping Dad at the business. My 21 yo daughter still earns some extra money measuring for her Dad.
I would love to take credit for the "No Free Ride" idea, but I got it from Dr. Moore when the older kids were all involved in some of the studies from Moore Academy. Work/Service/Study is a good way to view life as a parent.

SFM in KY · #11 08/28/12, 06:46 PM

The only things I got paid 'extra' for when I was growing up were the things that we would have hired outside help for, which was mostly field work. I started out cultivating with the Ford tractor in the summer fallowed fields (I was 10 or 12 when I started) and think I got $.25 an hour. Not long after that I got my first cow and my Dad kept her (and more than I had later) on shares for me ... he got half the calves and I was expected to do the riding/ranch work and work in the hayfield for my share.

meanwhile · #12 08/28/12, 06:57 PM

We just had dinner and I asked my sons about what they thought was most important about finances and money. They said in their view the most important thing they learned was to know how much things cost since knowing that a CD cost $19.99 or that a movie cost $7.00 or that eating out at Rezez's was $47.00......then they could understand more how to budget and just how special some expenses were.

The 2nd thing they mentioned was a surprise: They said they did not like it when I put money in their accounts for them without them actually having the cash in hand first. I used to move money from my household account over to their savings account and although I would tell them "hey I moved $15.00 and it paid you for X job" ......they said it did not mean the same thing as when I actually handed them the $15.00 and they got to go to the bank and fill out the form to deposit it in their savings account. They said it was more full filling to actually hold the money and know they earned it and then to go to the bank for themselves.

Good luck.

julieq · #13 08/28/12, 07:23 PM

Above the daily chores, helping out around the house and with the animals, we wanted our girls to actually start earning some spending money and learning to budget for what they wanted. So we did pay approximately minimum wage for 'above and beyond' jobs if they wanted to do them. Sometimes they would actually ask for jobs to earn extra money and between a busy medical practice and a small ranch, we always had them available.

AJohnston · #14 08/28/12, 09:54 PM

Growing up, I made a weekly allowance of $25. That included cleaning my room, taking care of the animals, doing dishes, good grades, and helping out with the lawn. It was like earning a paycheck from a business. Then, as I got older and was given the opportunity to own my own horse (with the stipulation that I had to save up my own money) I started saving every penny I earned. I would wash the parents cars and ask if I could keep the change that I found. Then I started my own odd jobs, doing lawn services for the neighbors and starting my own home business of pet care where I would go give dogs baths and pet-sit while they were away on vacation. I managed to save up $800, using cash occasionally to buy things that I wanted, like CD's or Video Games. When my parents realized I'd actually saved up to get the horse, they held up their end of the bargain and I earned my first mare. It was very exciting.

jwal10 · #15 08/28/12, 10:22 PM

Their daily needs was theirs to keep up. If they wanted a pet, etc it was their responsibility. They started earning a little at 10, but they were responsible for their own laundry, cleaning their room and helping with meals. What they did for Sweetie or me they got paid a little, $1.00 a job or about $2.00 an hour. At 15 they got minimum wage to buy whatever they wanted out side their normal clothes, school needs and food. At 18 and still home they were to get minimum wage and pay their own way but both got jobs at 16, paid their own ways and helped out with jobs at home and got paid minimum wage. They helped out a lot and didn't ask for pay unless they were working toward a big purchase and needed extra, (first car) or project (insurance, college, apartment, etc)....James

Sonshine · #16 08/28/12, 10:37 PM

My DS gets set allowance for his chores. If he doesn't do them to our satisfaction we deduct from it. He doesn't get extra for other chores because we are family and we all pitch in. If he wants something that costs more than his allowance, depending on what it is he will either save up for it or we give him an advance.

Marshloft · #17 08/28/12, 10:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mythreesons

This is just my opinion..take for what it's worth..

I don't PAY my kid's anything..as they should be responsible for helping w/the chores in the house as dh work's to pay the bill's so they have a roof over their heads,food to eat,clothes to wear...

Sorry, I'm no help I know..

You sound alot like my adopted mother.
My Dad started paying me 100.00 for plowing fields an entire summer. I was 14 at the time. My adopted mother had a fit.
I assume he was thinking along the same lines you are.(meaning hoggie) I had chores to do. I believe he decided I needed to also understand about money.
Just for the record,, I ran away from home the next summer because I got tired of being treated like a slave from my adopted mother.
For those who have adopted children. Don't ever tell them, You're just adopted and don't ever forget it.
Doesn't work out well.
GH
ETA: forgot to mention. I have 2 boy's ages 10 and 12. When I ask them for help that takes a consideral amount of time, I might offer them 10.00.
It really depends on your situation I believe. I think every loving parent knows the difference between chores, and when its also time to pay the little guy's a little extra. Now if I ask for their help, and one balks, he still has to help,, but doesn't get paid.
Thats only happened once.

Maura · #18 08/29/12, 12:08 AM

Our kids were given an allowance, based on age and needs. Chores were based on age. If they were given extra chores, they did not get a bigger allowance, but the two may possibly coincide. If they wanted extra money they could go around the neighborhood and look for work. Mowing a lawn, raking a lawn, that sort of thing.

I think you should give your DD the chores that you feel she should have at her age. If you give her money for an extra job, then it is her money. "Paying" the child and then making her use the pay for dance lessons defeats the purpose of learning how to value money. You might as well just pay for the lessons. For her to learn about money she needs to have money in her pocket and spend it how she pleases. If she has a little less money than she needs (can't buy candy every day if she is going to go to the movies with her friends, for instance) will teach her to prioritize.

hoggie · #19 08/29/12, 01:30 AM

Thank you all.

The situation is this. She has a chores list which she does every day or whenever she is asked (whichever is appropriate). She

Cleans the bathroom every day
Spends 15 minutes tidying in her bedroom every day
Feeds the house cat every day
Puts out and brings in laundry whenever she is asked
Sorts her own dirty laundry and brings out whichever category I ask for to be washed
Helps with things like laying the table etc whenever she is asked
Helps cook whenever she is asked
Looks after "hobby items" like her wetsuit when she has used them
Helps with all barn chores twice a day (she helps with everything from having sole charge of her rabbits, to mucking out pony stalls, milking goats etc etc

She also has music practice to do per day. Which isn't a chore but does have to be factored into her time

If I have to go away, she takes over doing all the animals and doesn't get paid in money although I put credit on her phone for her and take her out to dinner to say thank you.

She does not get an allowance of any sort from me - my mum gives her £1 per week.

She is up for the idea of "earning" her dance class with extra chores (will only take her 3/4 - 1 hour per week). Trouble is, all the jobs I can think of are already on the "do anyway" list.

This isn't a question of her wanting to get paid for doing the chores, it is me trying to find a way for her to "earn" some of the extras in life.

When we were going away this year, my mum gave her pocket money jobs to do and she earned all of her own spending money for two trips away - she worked hard and REALLY enjoyed spending what she had earned and having her "own" money to choose with

Meanwhile - I like the idea of paying her to do the jobs that I would get someone else to do - unfortunately there aren't really any jobs that I would pay someone from outside to do that she could do. If I was going to pay someone from outside, it would have to mean that it was a job that I was unable to do myself.

Callieslamb · #20 08/29/12, 07:40 AM

It's so different for us now with one child at home rather than the house full as it used to be. I want to teach my DS about handling money and to do that he has to have some. We decided this would work for us for now. DS has set chores he has to do everyday. After those are done- he's free to earn money for extra chores. The extra chores are listed with a price given. He's free to choose which ones he wants to do. He still has to do extra running for mom all day long. He can't say "he's done" and it also gives him the responsibility to work for money. No workee- no payee. No money - no do what you want.