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01/18/12, 08:33 PM
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Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: West Central Minnesota
Posts: 1,565
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Apology- long overdue
Not sure how to begin this, but I'm going to give it a shot.
I was a long-time forum member until about 3 years ago. Up until that time I had struggled for many years with depression, or....something. It came and went, sometimes barely noticeable, at other times nearly debillitating.
Then, about 3 years ago, I crashed. I don't know why, exactly. I had previously experienced small, "mini-crashes" which I got over, but the last one was a doozy. I had an enormously difficult time shaking it. I tried several different medications but none of them really worked- in fact, most of them made my problems worse. It got to the point where I found reading and writing nearly impossible. I felt like my brain was bouncing around in my head like a ping pong ball. I could not remember anything (not like amnesia, but like extreme forgetfullness). I stopped using the internet because I could not focus on anything long enough to read or write.
Eventually I must have found the right combination of drugs/diet/exercise because I started to improve late last year, slowly, but surely. While I was still improving, a young acquaintance of mine confided that she was pregnant. She did not feel as if she was capable of raising the baby (the father was out of the picture by that point), and she asked if we would adopt her. She then got pre-eclampsia, very serious, and we almost lost both her and the baby before the doctors did an emergency c-section. Both mom and baby recovered. Our daughter was born 4 1/2 weeks prematurely but with no health problems whatsoever. We spent 6 days in the hospital with her, mainly to make sure she was eating and gaining weight, and then we took her home. From the time I found out that my friend was pregnant until we had the baby (still in the hospital) was 2 1/2 weeks. It was a heck of a shock all the way around.
The baby is now almost 9 months old and we are still trying to wrap our brains around the fact that she is ours to keep. She is a beautiful, happy, intelligent, funny little girl who keeps us hopping. Oddly enough, I credit having her around with helping me get back "towards" normal. I don't know if this is physically possible, especially since I did not go through a pregnancy, but I would swear that my "chemistry" has changed for the better since we adopted this child.
I am improved enough now that I am starting to read and write again, trying to get the house cleaned and organized (though I still have the attention span of a knat, so I am doing it in dribs and drabs as I manage to stay focused long enough to accomplish anything).
Which bring me to the point of my post. While cleaning my desk today I came across some books which I apparently sold on the Barter Board but never delivered to the buyers. I have the books and the cash/checks which came with them- in fact, the envelopes were never opened- just set aside with the books to be mailed and then somehow overlooked.
I will be mailing the books and returning the money as soon as I can verify that the addresses have not changed.
If I left here owing any of you books or money, please accept my profuse and sincere apologies. I value each and every one of you and it causes me enormous distress to have failed to follow through on the transactions.
Regretfully,
Elizabeth Williams
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01/18/12, 08:42 PM
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Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 624
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What a kind apology! I am sure everyone forgives you...welcome back and congrats on your improvement and the baby, kids change your life for the better for sure!! :-)
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01/18/12, 09:07 PM
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Arkansas
Posts: 10,942
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Having a child around your body has changed. I was depressed when I lost my children to a divorce. But over the years I was there for them any time they wanted something. And now they are both grown and we are closer to me than their mom. The other day I was on the hospital and they brought their mom by to see me because they couldn't get rid of her. I knew this because they called first and I said to bring her along. We had a nice visit and nothing will come between me and my children. I have gotten over my depression and my children was the cause of it. Now if thy could help with PTSD that I have.
__________________
God must have loved stupid people because he made so many of them.
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01/18/12, 09:07 PM
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: Hill Country, Texas
Posts: 4,649
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Welcome back - make right what you can and come back. We need your input on things - just like we need everyone.
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01/18/12, 09:25 PM
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: middle GA
Posts: 16,654
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I'm glad you're doing better and that you were blessed with a child. Just remember, if you do have bouts of depression that the people here will be here for you.
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01/18/12, 09:28 PM
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Lake Station
Posts: 14,761
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Glad you are here, I am sure that those who you forgot to send books to will understand, sometimes life deals some difficult blows. I think perhaps the child, your daughter gives you a way to see and hope for the future, and perhaps that helps!
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It's not that I don't like mankind, I just like nature a whole lot more.
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01/19/12, 05:57 AM
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aka RamblinRoseRanc :)
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Morristown, TN
Posts: 5,066
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Ditto what Sonshine and Yuccaflats said.
Welcome home.
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" It's better to ride even if you get thrown, than to wind up just wishin' ya had."
Chris Ledoux 
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01/19/12, 06:19 AM
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: N. E. TX
Posts: 29,602
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Welcome back, betcha you're forgiven right away! You have really been thru a journey, prayers & good thoughts.
Patty
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01/19/12, 06:29 AM
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doll maker/ ND goats
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Northern Maine
Posts: 482
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Oh yes babies do help with depression and illness. I quickly recovered when a 21 month old needed fostering and I was able to pour my energy into his needs. What a blessing. I am glad to see this child has you!
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01/19/12, 07:52 AM
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Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Lower Alabama
Posts: 2,230
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Life has a way of hitting us hard sometimes and we just have to do the best we can. I think you have come a long way and I am sure you are forgiven. I have suffered from bouts of depression myself as a lot of us have and we understand. Congratulations on your baby. They are such blessings. Welcome back!
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01/19/12, 09:44 AM
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Banned
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Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: A woods in Wisconsin
Posts: 9,283
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Congratulations on your new baby and your new found health!
(Been there)
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01/19/12, 09:50 AM
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Moderator
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Join Date: May 2008
Location: Michigan
Posts: 11,888
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I'm glad you're back and feeling better. I can't imagine anyone being too upset about the books as you never cashed the checks so nobody got burned.
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01/19/12, 10:00 AM
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plains of Colorado
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Join Date: May 2002
Location: plains of Colorado
Posts: 3,882
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stuff happens
Welcome back!
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01/19/12, 10:29 AM
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: Zone 7
Posts: 1,297
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Congratulations on your little girl!
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01/19/12, 10:32 AM
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Big Front Porch advocate
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Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 44,425
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It would be nice to post a link to this on a post in Barter Board, since you said there were left over issues from there.
I'm really glad you are getting your life into a decent flow and things are looking up for you.
Angie
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"Live your life, and forget your age." Norman Vincent Peale
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01/19/12, 11:26 AM
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Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: New York
Posts: 3,891
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Welcome back!
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I cried because I had no shoes, until I saw a man who had no feet.
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01/19/12, 12:02 PM
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Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 5,900
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Elizabeth, so glad you are feeling better, and that you have a new direction in your life, that little gal! Welcome back, and hope you continue to feel better! We're here for you!
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01/19/12, 12:24 PM
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Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 951
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Glad you are feeling better and so happy that you now have a precious little girl!!!!
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01/19/12, 12:32 PM
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Join Date: Jun 2002
Posts: 5,240
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WOW!!! What a story. Welcome back and so glad things are working out for you!
If you know the people's forum names I'd PM them to direct them to this thread and to see if they still want the books, or their cash back.
WELCOME BACK!
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Michael W. Smith in North-West Pennsylvania
"Everything happens for a reason."
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01/19/12, 12:54 PM
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Ohio
Posts: 4,056
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Glad it's working out for you...welcome back.
__________________
"Those who hammer their guns into plows will plow the fields of those who don't."-Thomas Jefferson
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