ungrateful people

rags57078 · #1 01/07/12, 02:05 PM

Why is there so many people now days that can't say thanks and just expect folks to give them all the info they need ? I am not saying folks here but all over on the net and in person . They then get thier panties in a wad if you don't tell them . I try to help people when I can but sometimes it just chaps my behind . ok rant over

MichaelK! · #2 01/07/12, 02:10 PM

Your post is a bit vague. What kinds of help are these people soliciting and are you offering help from a commercial standpoint, or as a friend? That is, do you work at a company's help desk, or are neighbors asking how to fix something? Is this "help" of a technical, financial, or personal nature?

rags57078 · #3 01/07/12, 02:17 PM

more personal than anything , its nothing I make money at , but I guess I could if I made a video or wrote a book . I get alot of folks asking how to trap a critter so I tell them how to do it and hardly ever a thanks . same with garden stuff and alot of other things in life

plowjockey · #4 01/07/12, 02:23 PM

I help people, because I want to help, no gratitude expected.

I'm less disappointed that way.

If I do get gratitude, I'm thrilled.

CarolT · #5 01/07/12, 02:38 PM

Well, rags, just in case some of your information has found it's way to help me.... THANK YOU!!!!!

I always appreciate help but don't always know who to thank, so I try to pass it along as I can, and I've had a _lot_ of help over the years, so you may have contributed

aunt fannie · #6 01/07/12, 03:27 PM

I think more than anything, it has to do with how you're were reared (raised). My Moma & Daddy would have 'tore my butt up' if I didn't say thank you, yes sir...etc....

fordy · #7 01/07/12, 04:28 PM

.................For those INgrates of the world who solicit your help and hardwon knowledge base I'd say help them once ! No Acknowledgement or a thank you sir , I'd just let stew in their own ignorance , UNless it's a lady with kids needing your help under dire circumstances . Blonds always need help ! , lol , fordy

haypoint · #8 01/07/12, 05:33 PM

I have a friend that runs a Bed and Breakfast. She provides a clean room and a good hot breakfast. Way over half of the reservations she gets have a load of questions. when does this open, what is a good place to eat fish, how much does the ferry cost, etc. She spends a lot of time calling places and gathering information so she can call them back with the info. It isn't a set bunch of questions or even anything a local might know off the top of their head. It is as if because they are renting a room, she is expected to be their travel agent. I guess it comes with the business.

Sonshine · #9 01/07/12, 05:42 PM

I guess I'm of the mind that if I help someone, a thank you is nice, but just being able to help is ok too. After all, the knowledge you impart can actually benefit you in the long run. Less people to come knocking on your door when things are hard and food is scarce.

Tana Mc · #10 01/07/12, 07:17 PM

I think that I understand what you are talking about but I have a bigger problem. It seems to me that people want me to show/tell/educate them with out them having to engage any brain cells..... They make NO EFFORT to learn about things on their own. I am just supposed to set aside any and everything I am doing to enlighten them.

When I suggest a book or website, that is too much trouble. They just want me to tell them....... and usually that leads to blatant hints for me just do it for them...

rags57078 · #11 01/07/12, 07:24 PM

yes Tana you have it right , I wished it was a business deal

Tana Mc · #12 01/07/12, 09:52 PM

I do not want my earlier post to come across wrong but I am not sure how to express myself. I have been reading another thread and one of the people who responded gave the impression to some that he was "jaded". I completely understood his point of view because I am an "older" homesteader.
I am generally happy to encourage anyone in their journey toward this lifestyle. Maybe I am just a bit irritated that it is much more "fashionable" these days to do these kinds of things. I know that the information available with just a few taps on the computer is something I would have loved to have when I was struggling with some earlier projects. I have 100's of books and spent lots of time at the library checking out their stuff. I always figured that since I can read-- I can do just about anything.

For many years, there was always somebody new to raising goats that spent alot of time at my farm. I alway laughingly called them my yearly goat apprentice. Same deal with gardening, cooking and canning. I enjoyed it tremendously.

But something has changed in the last few years. Maybe I'm just getting old and cranky. There is an attitude that people have that approach me for help these days. They are not asking......not really. They are demanding in a wheedling, whiney sort of way. Usually, they have made no effort to research or learn about the subject or skill on their own..... They show up or call and instantly I am supposed to fix it, diagnose it, or enlighten them in 35 seconds or less. Usually-- Right NOW.

I am still not getting this out right and it is pretty darn frustrating!

TJN66 · #13 01/07/12, 10:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tana Mc

I think that I understand what you are talking about but I have a bigger problem. It seems to me that people want me to show/tell/educate them with out them having to engage any brain cells..... They make NO EFFORT to learn about things on their own. I am just supposed to set aside any and everything I am doing to enlighten them.

When I suggest a book or website, that is too much trouble. They just want me to tell them....... and usually that leads to blatant hints for me just do it for them...

Yes...this is it exactly. What happened to trying to figure something out on one's own? It drives me nuts with family...the can pick up the phone to see if I know how to do something but they can not/will not google it at all. I tell them all the time, U tube is your friend!

TJN66 · #14 01/07/12, 10:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tana Mc

I do not want my earlier post to come across wrong but I am not sure how to express myself. I have been reading another thread and one of the people who responded gave the impression to some that he was "jaded". I completely understood his point of view because I am an "older" homesteader.
I am generally happy to encourage anyone in their journey toward this lifestyle. Maybe I am just a bit irritated that it is much more "fashionable" these days to do these kinds of things. I know that the information available with just a few taps on the computer is something I would have loved to have when I was struggling with some earlier projects. I have 100's of books and spent lots of time at the library checking out their stuff. I always figured that since I can read-- I can do just about anything.

For many years, there was always somebody new to raising goats that spent alot of time at my farm. I alway laughingly called them my yearly goat apprentice. Same deal with gardening, cooking and canning. I enjoyed it tremendously.

But something has changed in the last few years. Maybe I'm just getting old and cranky. There is an attitude that people have that approach me for help these days. They are not asking......not really. They are demanding in a wheedling, whiney sort of way. Usually, they have made no effort to research or learn about the subject or skill on their own..... They show up or call and instantly I am supposed to fix it, diagnose it, or enlighten them in 35 seconds or less. Usually-- Right NOW.

I am still not getting this out right and it is pretty darn frustrating!

I think your getting it out just right! Its exactly what I run into..and I dont even live on a farm.

lazysheep · #15 01/07/12, 10:32 PM

I feel your pain! The internet is available to most, but not all. However, we are all given a brain. My biggest rant, is the customer who comes to the farm and asks questions but won't keep their mouth shut long enough to hear what I have to say. I just quit talking and let them ramble, and am glad when they get in their car and go away. You can't learn anything if your mouth is open... You can't teach anyone that way either. sigh...

lazysheep · #16 01/07/12, 10:35 PM

I suppose I should mention that I was raised to 'thank' anyone who gave me anything- be it the time of day or whatever. If I asked a question and got an "I don't know" I would thank them anyway, just for a courteous response. Its just a part of who we should be. It doesn't seem to be that way anymore... another sigh...

Sonshine · #17 01/07/12, 11:19 PM

Sometimes people don't know where to look for the information and there's so much misinformation out there that it seems more prudent to ask someone who they know is knowledgable. I ask questions here. Sure I could look up the info myself, but I wouldn't know what to ask or where to find the info. For example, I raise goats. I knew nothing about them, so had no clue what sort of questions to ask. Thankfully the goat forum has some very helpful people.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tana Mc

I do not want my earlier post to come across wrong but I am not sure how to express myself. I have been reading another thread and one of the people who responded gave the impression to some that he was "jaded". I completely understood his point of view because I am an "older" homesteader.
I am generally happy to encourage anyone in their journey toward this lifestyle. Maybe I am just a bit irritated that it is much more "fashionable" these days to do these kinds of things. I know that the information available with just a few taps on the computer is something I would have loved to have when I was struggling with some earlier projects. I have 100's of books and spent lots of time at the library checking out their stuff. I always figured that since I can read-- I can do just about anything.

For many years, there was always somebody new to raising goats that spent alot of time at my farm. I alway laughingly called them my yearly goat apprentice. Same deal with gardening, cooking and canning. I enjoyed it tremendously.

But something has changed in the last few years. Maybe I'm just getting old and cranky. There is an attitude that people have that approach me for help these days. They are not asking......not really. They are demanding in a wheedling, whiney sort of way. Usually, they have made no effort to research or learn about the subject or skill on their own..... They show up or call and instantly I am supposed to fix it, diagnose it, or enlighten them in 35 seconds or less. Usually-- Right NOW.

I am still not getting this out right and it is pretty darn frustrating!

Dustin · #18 01/08/12, 12:23 AM

I very rarely post, but am on the HT forum every single night reading. I'm young and working towards owning my own homestead so at this point I'm just sucking up as much information as possible. I'm not as engaged as I'd like to be in the forum, but I only have so much time and rarely can even read everything I'd like to.

When I have questions, I search them out; there is so much information out there that it's hard not to find answers. The best part is that if you do most of the digging yourself, you discover all the different ways people are doing things and make up your own mind.

Coloneldad5 · #19 01/08/12, 12:57 AM

Yes there are folks around who don't exactly show gratitude very well, it's been a problem for some going back at least a couple thousand years:

11 ¶And it came to pass, as he went to Jerusalem, that he passed through the midst of Samaria and Galilee.
12 And as he entered into a certain village, there met him ten men that were alepers, which stood afar off:
13 And they lifted up their voices, and said, Jesus, Master, have mercy on us.
14 And when he saw them, he said unto them, Go shew yourselves unto the apriests. And it came to pass, that, as they went, they were cleansed.
15 And one of them, when he saw that he was healed, turned back, and with a loud voice glorified God,
16 And fell down on his face at his feet, giving him athanks: and he was a Samaritan.
17 And Jesus answering said, Were there not ten acleansed? but where are the bnine?
18 There are not found that returned to give glory to God, save this stranger.
19 And he said unto him, Arise, go thy way: thy faith hath made thee whole."
Luke 17:11-19.

While I don't always expect or get upset if someone does not show gratitude or any assistanc I may give, I do try to show gratitude for assistance that I receive (although being human I do at times fail in showing proper and adequate gratitude).

It is somewhat frustrating I guess for folks when they get requests for information which is obviously available with a simple google search.

sisterpine · #20 01/08/12, 12:03 PM

I don't expect folks to thank me for help but it sure is nice when they do. I also don't expect folks to tell me how to do something without my asking, but they do and I try to be nice and say thank you anyway. It is just one of those worlds- untangle the panties and move on I say.