New here, and looking forward to the future...

[kaitala]

Hi, everyone! I'm new, and looking forward to learning a lot from all of you!

Here's my (quick) backstory:

I grew up in a quiet suburb, but always wanted a rural life. As a young adult, I lived in rural areas. Met my husband, sold my little place and moved in with him in suburbia, DENSE suburbia.

Now, we have an opportunity to buy a perfect (for us) piece of property, but, as with all real estate deals, it may not happen. I may have to resign to homestead as best we can on our 100x120 lot.

I'm experiencing a lot of anxiety about actually *getting* the property. I find myself worrying a LOT. Enough to make me reluctant to even put in an offer. I find myself worrying:

Can I handle all the work, physically, mentally, etc?
What if things go wrong, what will I do all by myself on my land?
What if my animals get sick/injured?
What if my horse (who I will have at home for the first time) runs through the fence, gets injured, gets sick, gets abducted by aliens (lol, but just to show how silly yet persistent these worries are), etc.?

I am what if? ing myself to no end. Most of me says, "You can handle it, don't worry!" but there's a part that is constantly stressed, now that it's a real possiblity.

Things that have changed since I last lived rurally include being older and feeling it, and having a child, to whom I devote most of my time.

Here's the biggest kicker: I used to be a construction laborer before I was a stay at home mom. I've run heavy equipment(loaders, excavators, dozers), driven big trucks, finished concrete, done carpentry, etc. etc. etc. I've trained horses and dogs with great results. I've pitched in at friend's farms and run them like a champ in times when they needed help. I've had large gardens with fantastic yields for a family. So why am I so freaked out?

Thanks for hearing my vent, and I'd love any input from anyone who has any advice on how a capable competent woman can get over this stupid fear of everything!

I look forward to learning from you all!

[nehimama]

Well, hi there, and welcome aboard! I'd be jittery, too, facing such a huge change. Is hubby on board with your dreams and hopes? If so, then you have a team, and that's a comfort, isn't it?

[Tricky Grama]

Welcome! You'll love it, good luck & things will come, not to worry.

Patty

[Callieslamb]

Welcome!
Have you asked yourself what will happen if you don't? I'm good at reminding myself of all the things that can go wrong. I have to work really hard to remember the things that can go right. I've been doing the animal thing for a couple of years now. Yes, some things do go wrong, but it's been worth it. Sad times are part of life too. I find they are overshaddowed by the good times. Providing for ourselves is a deep satisfaction that has few things to equal it. Best wishes! (and I hope you get the property!)

[Roadking]

Welcome aboard!
Matt

[Jan Doling]

There is no substitute for life in the country.

[geo in mi]

kaitala,

Welcome, and post this on your mirror for awhile.

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens;
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens;
Brown paper packages tied up with strings;
These are a few of my favorite things.

Cream-colored ponies and crisp apple strudels;
Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles;
Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings;
These are a few of my favorite things.

Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes;
Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes;
Silver-white winters that melt into springs;
These are a few of my favorite things.

When the dog bites,
When the bee stings,
When I'm feeling sad,
I simply remember my favorite things,
And then I don't feel so bad.

(C. Rogers & Hammerstein)


Best of Luck,
geo

[dragonfly65]

It is sooo worth it! Wish I had gotten out when the kids were younger. The best advice I can give is to take it slow. Start with your horse and only add a little at a time. If you want chickens, start with 5 and see how it goes. I would also add to make sure you have a place for whatever critter you want to live BEFORE you bring said critter home - but if you are like most of us that rule will be broken many times.

It is easier to start with a garden and work your way up to all the critters. I mean, there is a minimum of stress when your tomato plants suffer because you couldn't get out to water it as opposed to say goats pathetically calling you continuously because you are an hour late feeding them - right? As you add things, you will find that it gets easier and easier to handle and it will get easier to fit everything in time-wise as you get used to doing them.

Some of the things you are worrying about will happen, some won't. But they won't happen all at once. I don't think you have too much to worry about from aliens, though.

[ronbre]

I can tell you, you are ready, and you should go for it..reservations are normal so don't let them get you down.

You have the capabilities, so why wait, you aren't gaining anything by waiting unless you are putting money in savings for it..but if you are paying rent, that is money thrown away.

bite the bullet, and just do it as NIKE says

[whiterock]

With your background you should have no problems handling the job, things will go wrong for sure, but can be taken care of.

[kaitala]

Thanks for all the support, everyone! Hubster does want the property too, and I know I can do it, it's just a scary step. You are all right: remind myself of the things that can go RIGHT, all the benefits, the satisfaction and freedom that comes with providing for ourselves, take it slow, waiting isn't getting us anywhere, and most of all, while things will go wrong, more likely than not, they won't all go wrong at once.

I am a little concerned about Hubster. He wants property and a rural life, too. However, he grew up rurally, but has only lived in suburbia as an adult. It's a whole different ball game when you're taking care of the property as opposed to being a kid and playing in your woods for hours and fishing in the stream and riding your dirtbike. I think if he were already a "farm husband" I might not be so stressed. I know it's all a labor of love, but I'm wondering how much he's going to love the labor he's never experienced before!

We'll be having a contractor look at the house and see what his analysis is structurally of the house. It was an old hunting cabin 90 years ago, and has had a series of additions put on. The house itself is a bit nightmarish, but still workable. The 10 acres is absolutely perfect, though. Little baby steps, and if it's meant to be, it will happen.

Meanwhile, I know there's a LOT I can glean from this forum on how to be more self-sufficient wherever we end up, even on our suburban lot. I'm looking forward to our gardens this year. No sense not planting them "in case we move", and what better gift to give the new owners of our house but a bounty of veggies to enjoy?. I'll be reading all your words of wisdom, and hopefully soon have something to offer back to you all!

Thanks again for reading, and for all the support!

[prairie lily]

Hello!
Change is always alittle scary, but new adventures are rewarding, hardships and all.
I think living with the regret and what ifs, of not taking a new opportunity, would be worse. I worry lots too...so thats what I tell myself

[Horseyrider]

You make good sense. When we first moved here almost thirty years ago, we enjoyed the tomato plants, asparagus patch, apple and cherry trees left by the previous owners. It was such a nice and welcoming thing.

You'll do fine. Having your horse at home is a whole new dimension in horsemanship. You'll have total control over feed and hay selection, pasturage, and who you want for vet and farrier. Like Dorothy said in The Wizard of Oz, "There's no place like home, there's no place like home...."

Scope it out in advance. Find out who's a good large animal vet in that area, and makes farm calls. If you love the vet or farrier you have now, see if they travel to your new location. They're usually happy to follow clients that pay on time and in full, and are only a phone call away.

I can tell you from experience that if you have true passion for it, you can do it. You'll push through days where you're dog tired, hot, smelly and filthy, and all you can think about is how cool it'll be when that project's complete and in operation. You'll develop a personal vision for your place and your life there, and nothing else in the world is quite as satisfying. You'll lose track of who the new bands are because you're so busy listening to the birds, and find high fashion in functional overalls and work boots. You'll go outside at the end of a long day of canning, throw a few flakes of hay to your horse, let the cool breeze and golden sun wash over you and feel like the richest person on earth; and then wonder how you ever doubted you could do this.

[kaitala]

Fortunately, I have a great vet that will be able to make farm calls there, and she was an amazing help when my horse got super sick, worked well with me and trusted me to care for him. He had an abcess that developed so quickly, it was in his mouth, but within a few days spread through his jaw, gutteral pouches and sinuses, 11 days in the hospital, then I had to go to his farm and flush the drains with lactated ringer and iodine solution with a catheter for 2 weeks, 2x per day, 45 min drive each way, injecting antibiotics. I guess if I could do that, I could surely handle my farm! Anyway, she was great, and trusted me to handle that but was available for support, and was pleased with my care of him.

My farrier will be MUCH closer if we move there. He's amazing too. Does a lot of special therapeutic shoeing for a Dr. out of New Bolton. and the "Tooth Fairy" (guy who floats their teeth) is closer too. So the horse is covered.

Your last paragraph brought tears to my eyes. That is exactly what I want.

Everyone, you are a great bunch of people and I thank you all for the support. I'm so happy to have found this forum.

[kan-green]

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life

[Timberline]

Originally Posted by kaitala

Can I handle all the work, physically, mentally, etc?
What if things go wrong, what will I do all by myself on my land?
What if my animals get sick/injured?
What if my horse (who I will have at home for the first time) runs through the fence, gets injured, gets sick, gets abducted by aliens (lol, but just to show how silly yet persistent these worries are), etc.?

Welcome! You sounds like a strong, intelligent, capable person. I think you'll do fine. Everyone needs help once in a while, getting that help is part of handling the current situation.

Things will go wrong at some point, whether you move or not. That's life. You will find a way to handle it.

If you have animals, they will get sick, injured, or die at some point. That's just part of having them. You will handle it. Same with the horse, if something happens, you will handle it.

Letting fear get in the way of your dreams is going to lead you down the road of regrets. You will always wonder, "What if" and "Why didn't I" and "I wish".

[chewie]

welcome~! just keep those what if's but change them a bit--what if you DONT' do this?? sounds to me like that's the thing to be scared of!

you'll be fine, as others said, go slow, dont' go out and get 14 more horses tomorrow, and a semi load of goats! but to me, having the fun of my own animal tending it half the fun, I LOVE feeding my horses! I see them several times a day, just think how nice that will be for you too!

[ronbre]

can't wait to hear an update

[kaitala]

Thanks again, everyone for the support. I can't tell you how much that means to me. As well, reading everyone's posts of how EXACTLY they make things work for them, that lets me know that there are as many ways to make it work as there are folks who do make it work.

Hubster and I are going to talk more and really flesh out expectations, of one another, of the property, of the family, etc. I think that the possibilities are limitless, what we need to do is be very clear and convinced and united in our goals. I think if not, we're setting ourselves up for problems. I SO know I can make an awesome homestead wife, but if that's not the kind of family life he's sure he wants, I can't see how it would work for our family. Theoretically, I could do it alone, but I know I can't do it if I am not getting help from the other adult resident.

[Poverty Knob]

Any problem can be handled and any crises can be solved. It is easier if you both have the same goals and dreams. Grow slow, grow steady and enjoy the process!