Supressed memories...I had a doozy this evening Anyone else?

**Roadking** · #1 09/08/10, 08:22 PM

Kids were asking about dogs. I've had dogs, I like dogs, but I don't want any more. (had horses, too, and don't want any more, different story).
My kids kept pushing as to why I don't want a dog around; and after the whole diatribe of the walking (weather be darned, wet dog smell, need to board for vaca, etc.), picking up poo and the like, I started telling the kids about an incident I apparently locked away.
Around 8 years old, our mutt (best type of dog, IMO) attacked me. He'd been family for about 7 years, pictures show me as a baby and "Ben" playing. Every morning (since I was old enough) I'd feed the dog..."C'moooooonnnnn Bennnnnnnnn", and he'd come tearing thru the woods and yard, and flop dow for a belly rub and his food.
One day, I called him, and things seemed normal...until he perched on the wall, and lunged. He got me by the shoulder and pinned me, all of 8 years old, and started attacking. I had no idea what rabbies was at that age, but my buddy went nuts. Mom yelled, I fought back, and dad was home (must have been a weekend), and came barreling out of the house with a shotgun, and made old Ben a puddle in the driveway when I got free of him.
I haven't thought about that in over thirty years, but right now, it is as vivid as Memorex...
Anyone else have a similar situation?...the memory kicking, not the dog attack...sorry, needed the levity as I am concerned...what else have I supressed?
Matt
BTW, it was his eyesight, not rabies, according to the vet. Apparently, Ben mistook me for an unfamiliar person (or my mom in the driveway), and just was defending his people.

julieq · #2 09/08/10, 09:00 PM

That's a memory that needed suppressing for sure, which I think is a way of protecting our minds against stress. I'm so sorry you went through that. Must have been an eye opener to the kids?

At this point in my life, I'd prefer suppressed memories stay suppressed so I can focus on more positive things.

gone-a-milkin · #3 09/08/10, 09:15 PM

The mind is an amazing construct.

Yes, I have had sudden memory floods like you describe.
They were always of violent events from my past, similar to what you remember.

It is part of healing to let them free. Dont be surprised if other memories from that time also emerge.
Just let all the pent up emotions go. They are from the past and cannot harm you currently.

Once all that old trauma is out of you, there will be a different person looking in the mirror.
You will think more freely, and know yourself better.

It is hard, but worth it. (hugs)

Old Vet · #4 09/08/10, 09:26 PM

Yes I have a whole truck load of suppressed memory and some times they come out. The best way I have found is to talk about them. As you grow old you have a different perspective on what you remember.

pattycake · #5 09/08/10, 09:29 PM

Yes, Roadking, I have many suppressed memories. I do not bring them out for others to hear about. I usually bring them out in the middle of the night or when I am alone in the middle of the day. Sometimes I sob with sorrow. It is helpful to know that others have memories too that are painful. When I was a child I thought it was only me.

JuliaAnn · #6 09/08/10, 09:47 PM

Wow, I'm not the only one. As a matter of fact, last night while trying to fall asleep, I had a memory pop up that I know I haven't recalled since I was probably a toddler. We lived in a different state, and my father and I were in the back yard on a pretty day, playing with a big ball. He would kick it straight up, it would go so high I thought it would get stuck in the clouds. I remember thinking that. He said something like 'its time to go in now', and put his hand down for me to take. His hands were very large and being just 3 or 4, mine were of course tiny, so I held onto his index finger. I have NO idea what caused this memory to emerge. I wasn't thinking about my father or where we used to live or anything of the sort. It just appeared, and the pain of the memory was so fresh I sat up and burst into tears. My father and I do not get along, and he alienated me with verbal and emotional abuse when I was a teenager. Now I wish I could forget the memory again.

I too have many supressed memories, of terrible times, and I don't want to remember what I've been told happened during those times. Perfectly ok if I never recall them.

Navotifarm · #7 09/08/10, 10:10 PM

Those memories are stored in the body, along with the temperture, light, sounds, smells at the time. Sometimes a particular odor or a word said in a special intonation will trigger them, along with your state of feelings at the time. It's a good thing to let the memory come up and relive or experience it fully, now, in present time and space. The charge is released (or part of it if it is a heavy charge). And boy, what a memory that was, of friend Ben inexplicably turning on you! And the shot of the shotgun. And the blood and guts. Probably screaming including your own! That was heavy-duty traumatic! This opened something in you. There may be another betrayal linked with this incident - more than one in fact. Be glad when they surface for healing too at this time. You love the kids. Maybe after your surge of memories you will grant them their wish to have a dog, a sturdy fluffy dog with hardly any teeth! A small dog unable to do damage if he does (which he won't) suddenly inexplicably go postal. Yeah for the kids and the breakthrough!!

Harry Chickpea · #8 09/08/10, 10:52 PM

Be VERY VERY careful when remembering "repressed" memories. Many times they ARE NOT TRUE.

I have a very vivid memory of helping to hay on the farm one day back when I was about six. When I reminded my mother of it the next year, she informed me that I didn't help hay that time, that I was asleep on the couch.

There were some good foks in the northeast that were jailed because of evidence from "repressed memories." They were later found to be totally innocent.

7thswan · #9 09/09/10, 06:58 AM

My Mom is like you, she has repressed many memories of what was done to us kids. It catches me off gaurd all the time.Wounder sometimes just what kind of excuses she has made about things. I, on the other hand remember the smallest details, and tell her things, little things like the wall paper in a certian room when I was too small to remember such a thing. Some people need to hide themselves from the truth and some people refuse to. Not saying that you needed to hide, but as a child it can be hard to make sence of something.

ronbre · #10 09/09/10, 07:05 AM

we had adopted a male dog to go with our female..afgan..when Joel was a toddler..and he was walking by and it attacked him and bit him on the leg and grabbed him...my husband made him a similar puddle..