Feeling Guility About My Good Forture

[danielsumner]

Reading the threads about retirement funds has brought forth a ton of emotion for me. I’ve been trying to decide when to quit working. Been worrying about the financial aspects of the change. We have two homes. The one here in Miami and the Ga Homestead. The Ga homestead has no mortgage. Everything is tied to the Miami house. We are trying to sell it now. We have no vehicle payments, credit cards ect to speak of. Just the mortgages, insurance, (which is a biggee living in Florida because of the hurricanes) on the Fl home. I’m only 54. Technically I am retired from my pension plan, I’m drawing my pension and still working with full benefits. My pension benefits are going in to a tax deferred account until I terminate my employment. It is a great benefit. I can do this for up to 60 months. I’m in my 8th month now. I took a reduced benefit so that if I die, my DW will get my pension for the rest of her life, it cost me 15% of my pension for this option. Here’s were I’m feeling really lucky and almost ashamed. From the responses so far, most people are living or are going to live on a fraction of what I receive. I don’t believe I’m spilling my thoughts out here, but my pension with the reduction for my DW’s future if I go first is over 7 grand a month, with a 3% COLA each July. This does not include the investments that we have, and the SS that we will get when we turn 62. I’m sitting here at 2:30 in the morning counting my blessings. I know that many have things a lot tougher then we have. We made decision years ago not to have children, that that might account a lot to our good financial fortune. We both came up the hard way and respect all the things that we have. For example, my DW’s sister told her today that we were rolling in the money! DW has been at the GA home for the last three months. DMIL had two strokes within 18hours and is now bedridden in a nursing home. DW is staying in GA and is at the nursing home almost everyday with her mother. It’s hard being separated, but you have to do, what you have to do. Well her sister brings up the fact that DW drives a new VW Jetta. It’s not new, it’s a 2006, and it’s just that we take very good care of everything we have. It just looks new and everyone assumes things. I have worked since I was 15 years old, and never asked anyone for anything and was never given anything. We are very savvy about anything we get; I don’t know when the last time we paid full price for anything. Another example: we love to go on cruises. We live in Miami, don’t have kids or pets, so take advantage of sales and last minute specials. We go for less than $700 for a week all the time, that includes the tips and purchases. I’m just a very savvy consumer. Another example: In 2006 I took a trip to Africa for a Month. Spent a week in a very nice lodge in Grand Kruger National Park. And three weeks on a custom safari that I arranged with 3 other people once I got to Africa. I spent less than $3000 dollars including my Airfare. Africa is not my DW’s cup of tea, so I went by my self. I’ve traveled other places the same way, not being cheap, but by being savvy. My retirement homestead is the same way, I have people and funds lined up to do my little farm, from the fencing to the barns ect. I’ve always had a financial knack to get the best deals. Should I feel guilty, as I am beginning to feel from reading about the struggles of others, or just be happy for my good fortune? My good fortune is of my own making, not given to me as many others I know. We give to charity thought out the year, as we have from the beginning and have made arrangements for it to continue once we are gone. I hope that I’m not offending anyone with this thread, if so I will gladly have it removed.

[ChristieAcres]

Congratulations on enjoying the fruits of your labor and good decisions, that you decided mutually for yourselves. We didn't invest, but I won't go into our story. We both work hard, own all our own vehicles, are conservative, but are currently not in your shoes.

That said? I'd do the following if I were a guy and in your shoes... Quit your job in a heartbeat and go be with your wife. At the very least, take a term of absence.

[Prismseed]

It isn't something to feel guilty for. It is a great sign of wisdom and compassion to realize not everyone finds such success. People often underestimate themselves and their accomplishments, by extension they assume anyone can just do the same thing and end up in the exact same place.

[Texasdirtdigger]

Congratulations! Sounds like you have earned every penny of it. Be thankful and enjoy. No shame in being successful. So.. no worries.

[Belfrybat]

Absolutely no need to feel guilty. Accept your blessings and when possible, pass it forward to others in gratitude for what you have. I've never made big bucks by choice. I had the education to do so, and had I earned up to my potential for most of my adult life, I'd be close to where you are now. But I chose to basically "retire" at 45 by working from home and I haven't looked back. You are being rewarded for your knowledge and hard work -- more power to you.

[tarbe]

Agree with all the above.

Sounds like you have been wise, and are seeing the payout now. You have more company than you may realize. Most of us on here tend to emphasize our frugal side, rather than some of the side benefits!

As a believer, I think we do well to remember who gave us the ability to earn and the wisdom to hang onto some of it. And I think we all always need to remember that it could all be gone very quickly due to circumstances beyond our control. And even that wouldn't be the end of the world...there is more to life than $$.

Absolutely no reason to feel guilty, unless you stole it! And it appears you didn't. I hope you enjoy a long and fruitful life after paid work!

Tim

[Jolly]

You're doing better than me, but I'm doing ok. Yeah, I've got a couple of houses, 30 acres of land, and everything's paid for. Even got a few nickels in the bank. My pension kicks in in 11 months, and while it's not as good as yours, it's pretty decent. I'm 51.

And my wife has suffered from RA since she was 19, so she hasn't been much financial help in a long time. In fact, she's been a pretty significant financial drain.

But I wouldn't trade her for a spotted puppy.


I'm sort of a self-made person, myself. First one in my mom or dad's family to graduate from college, I still work 70 hours a week. I've done it for so long, I don't know if I can stop.

OTOH, I find the longer I go through life, while it's nice to have accomplished a few financial things, I take a lot more pleasure from my relations with my kids, friends and extended family. And I know in these uncertain times, even the best-laid retirement plans are subject to factors I simply cannot control.

Hakuna matatta, friends...

[Our Little Farm]

Daniel, don't feel guilty that your hard work has paid off. Be thankful and enjoy it!

You deserve every cent.

[Terri]

Don't you DARE feel guilty for having money!!!!!!!!!!

That money is a result of the choices you have made and the work that you have done. And, of course, a little luck.

We COULD have been in your shoes if I had become a nurse early in life instead of later in life and if we had not decided on children. But, that was not what I wanted and that was not what I chose. I do not envy you your money as you do not envy me my children. We have simply chosen the paths that we each wanted.

I CAN say that my life has been a blast, and I hope that you can say that also!!!!!!!!!!!

[springvalley]

Never feel guilty for having something you worked for, yes there are alot of people out there that have less than you, but that is not your problem. Enjoy what you have, give some to charity if that is what you want to do. >Thanks Marc

[fordy]

Originally Posted by danielsumner

Reading the threads about retirement funds has brought forth a ton of emotion for me. I’ve been trying to decide when to quit working. Been worrying about the financial aspects of the change. We have two homes. The one here in Miami and the Ga Homestead. The Ga homestead has no mortgage. Everything is tied to the Miami house. We are trying to sell it now. We have no vehicle payments, credit cards ect to speak of. Just the mortgages, insurance, (which is a biggee living in Florida because of the hurricanes) on the Fl home. I’m only 54. Technically I am retired from my pension plan, I’m drawing my pension and still working with full benefits. My pension benefits are going in to a tax deferred account until I terminate my employment. It is a great benefit. I can do this for up to 60 months. I’m in my 8th month now. I took a reduced benefit so that if I die, my DW will get my pension for the rest of her life, it cost me 15% of my pension for this option. Here’s were I’m feeling really lucky and almost ashamed. From the responses so far, most people are living or are going to live on a fraction of what I receive. I don’t believe I’m spilling my thoughts out here, but my pension with the reduction for my DW’s future if I go first is over 7 grand a month, with a 3% COLA each July. This does not include the investments that we have, and the SS that we will get when we turn 62. I’m sitting here at 2:30 in the morning counting my blessings. I know that many have things a lot tougher then we have. We made decision years ago not to have children, that that might account a lot to our good financial fortune. We both came up the hard way and respect all the things that we have. For example, my DW’s sister told her today that we were rolling in the money! DW has been at the GA home for the last three months. DMIL had two strokes within 18hours and is now bedridden in a nursing home. DW is staying in GA and is at the nursing home almost everyday with her mother. It’s hard being separated, but you have to do, what you have to do. Well her sister brings up the fact that DW drives a new VW Jetta. It’s not new, it’s a 2006, and it’s just that we take very good care of everything we have. It just looks new and everyone assumes things. I have worked since I was 15 years old, and never asked anyone for anything and was never given anything. We are very savvy about anything we get; I don’t know when the last time we paid full price for anything. Another example: we love to go on cruises. We live in Miami, don’t have kids or pets, so take advantage of sales and last minute specials. We go for less than $700 for a week all the time, that includes the tips and purchases. I’m just a very savvy consumer. Another example: In 2006 I took a trip to Africa for a Month. Spent a week in a very nice lodge in Grand Kruger National Park. And three weeks on a custom safari that I arranged with 3 other people once I got to Africa. I spent less than $3000 dollars including my Airfare. Africa is not my DW’s cup of tea, so I went by my self. I’ve traveled other places the same way, not being cheap, but by being savvy. My retirement homestead is the same way, I have people and funds lined up to do my little farm, from the fencing to the barns ect. I’ve always had a financial knack to get the best deals. Should I feel guilty, as I am beginning to feel from reading about the struggles of others, or just be happy for my good fortune? My good fortune is of my own making, not given to me as many others I know. We give to charity thought out the year, as we have from the beginning and have made arrangements for it to continue once we are gone. I hope that I’m not offending anyone with this thread, if so I will gladly have it removed.

.....................There is a logical offset too remedy your...Guilt , as it were ! Just look around in your community and selectively identify some needy families and use your excess $$ too help them , better themselves ! My suggestion would be too investigate the Micro lending model being utilized in places like India ! An even more valuable scenerio would be too use your business expertise AND your capital too set a small business plan for a family that might beable too turn a helping hand into a profitable venture ! Become their Dutch Uncle and guide them into a more prosperous life . We are ALways at our best , when we help those less fortunate but don't know how too , get started . , fordy

[Beeman]

Don't feel guilty, and don't brag.

[Pam6]

I agree...do NOT feel guilty!! I chose my lifestyle! I chose to have kids...6 of them in fact. I chose to be a stay at home mom. I chose it. You chose differently. I have a degree. My DH has a degree. We chose to stay in the community we live in to be close to family knowing that the money we make would never be a lot in this area. We could have chosen to move where the jobs are better and we could have waited until later in life to have kids....but that is not the life we chose. Do I feel guilty?? NO WAY! Do I begrudge someone who chose a different lifestyle? NO WAY!
I agree with Fordy. If you are feeling guilty give someone else a help up....but not a hand out. I have seen to many people wanting a hand out and then once the gifts stop they move onto mooch off of someone else. Help a family by sending a Father to college so he can get a better job, pay for his weekend classes. But, don't ever feel that you HAVE to do that....unless God has put it on your heart to do it. If you pray about it God will show you people that He wants you to bless.

[Jenn]

And it sure as the devil is red should not be coming from credit card companies.

My advice to kids (and maybe at least my own will listen) is look at the long picture as you obviously have done. Don't spend everything you earn unless you plan and want (and not all of us, like Jolly's wife, will be able) to work until you die and leave nothing for your family after you're gone.

Anyway don't feel guilty that others don't have what you so. Yes it sucks that some didn't know (do they watch any TV?!?) they ought to plan for retirement (which includes education to get a good paying job), or that some are unable through genetics or other bad luck to get as good a job as you. But when I look around at folks who will have to struggle in retirement, many of them have been living a lot higher on the hog than I have until they get to that age. And very very few of them have put in the 70-100 hour work weeks that I did from 21 to 33 and DH has since he was 21 (but will rest on his laurels at 47 soon). I'm at an easy 'full time' job now and hope to only do 50 hours a week. Not that easy yet though.

And family are the worst. Dear sister and dear dad for a while made me feel rich and sorry for it- ie that I should make it up to them- but they were not in the trenches with me or for me and have frittered away plenty of money on an enjoyable life, just no more of mine anymore.

[Maura]

You haven't hurt anyone to get to your stable financial position. I would say that you have earned what you have. Granted, luck plays a role. Certainly there are plenty of people who did everything "right" who have ended up with no pension and are struggling for the basics. You did not cause this. Count your blessings.

[Explorer]

I also agree with Fordy. I am putting four great-nieces thru nursing college and have no feeling of guilt.

[texican]

As an eternal pessimist, I'd rather chop off an arm, than trust a pension. If you're eligible for a pension NOW, I'd TAKE it, and put it in my back pocket, and purchase 'real goods' for the Georgia homestead. "Tax Deferred Account" means diddly squat, if that account doesn't exist in 5 or six years. The taxman is going to get his share of the pie, either now or later. You may not 'need' the extra money now, but trust me, 70c on the dollar (after the tax hit)is better in your hand now, instead of a theoretical 80c on the dollar (after the "lesser" tax hit) later. There's too much financial uncertainty in the world right now. (It's all a shell game (ponzi scheme) and the ones getting taken are the ones that still 'trust' the system.

Take your money, and invest in more land, more tools, food, firearms, ammo, and bandages. Keep working, if you want... but get everything you 'need' now, while the gettings good.

You 'have' heard 'rumors' of the govt. seizing pensions, annuities, etc., to help balance the budget (read: pay better welfare benefits to the Entitlement Classes, to ensure the party in power stays in power.)

I envy you, and anyone else, who still has faith in our current kleptocracy.

[silverbackMP]

Every true American should aspire to be a self-made person (to what ever level they wish to be). YOU earned it. It is YOURs. Don't feel guilty about anything.

Also, I agree with Texican.

[where I want to]

Boy, that pension and the auto COLA is really unusual. I would love that too. The only people around here that have access to those kinds of benefits are university employees. And as for working and still getting benefits- wow.

As to guilt- of course not. You didn't make the rules,you just followed them.

The trouble comes with so many public jobs being protected while so many private jobs reward people less and less. People not in the public section are very insecure right now. They look to at the people in public service and feel that they are paying for things for others that they can't have themselves. I think that is justified in that their government has done little to protect their livelihoods. So if people are jealous of that, I can understand even if their own choices have made them less secure.
However most people here are very supportive of private employment success.

[wwubben]

Your situation is not by your work alone.You have been blessed by GOD.Your own decisions were a big part of it also.I am in a comfortable situation in my retirement also.My wife and I are very conservative in our personal life.We tythe and also help others in the community.That is more satisfying than anything else.