Rules. is this true?

[haypoint]

Women's Rules:

1. Call when you say you are going to call.

2. Never lie, about anything.

3. Girls talk on "Girls Night Out" so don't be surprised if you get in trouble when we get back.

4. The correct answer to "Do I look fat?" is never "Yes."

5. The correct answer to "Is she prettier then me?" is never "Yes."

6. Talking is good. Shouting is bad. Slapping is a felony.

7. Dish soap is your friend.

8. Hat does not equal shower, after-shave does not equal soap and warm does not equal clean.

9. Answering "Who was on the phone?" with "Nobody" is not going to end that conversation.

10. Answering "Whose lipstick is that?" with "Nobody" is not going to end that conversation either.

11. Two words: Clean Socks.

12. You are always wrong.

13. Always say you are sorry.

14. The rules are never fair. Accept them without quesitons, and expect them to change at a moments notice. The fact that she has to go through labor while you are sitting on your rump in the waiting room, smoking a cigar with your friends, isn't fair either, but it balances everything out.

[tinknal]

"Honey, do these pants make my butt look fat?"


"No, yer butt makes yer butt look big....................."


(Ducking shoes)

[BellsBunnies]

Thats a good start to the rules!

[rkintn]

Those were pretty good Did you come up with them yourself? lol

[Jalopy]

My number one rule so I can have the last two words in any discussion/dispute/arguement is ALWAYS say "Yes Dear" . Its amazing how we both feel better.

[Joshie]

You do realize that you barely scratched the list of rules, right?

By the way, when we were on our honeymoon, a gentleman told my hubby that the only answer to my requests was, "Yes, dear." The gentleman was right, but..... When you say, "Yes, Dear," your voice should sound as if you mean it.

[DayBird]

I learned during our first week of marriage (12) years ago that the old saying is true: "If she aint happy, aint no body happy."

Truer words have never been spoken.

[CrashTestRanch]

#2 is the only one on this list that we even use in our relationship, all the others are just a bunch of BS matriarchal arguments based on total selfishness in a relationship, that by the looks of these rules, only apply AGAINST the male and never to be upheld by the female. Says a LOT about the female or male who lives by most of the rules. SAD

[Nature_Lover]

SAD when people take a joke literally.

[salmonslayer]

Reminds me when my exwife (a truly great woman and we are still great friends) came home with an absolutely hideous haurcut once and it took all my efforts not to look completely shocked (long auburn hair hacked into a sad imitation of a Dorothy Hamill pixie). She was obviously upset and asked me if she looked bad and of course I said she looked great and that I loved it. So...number 2 doesnt always work out.

I would also add that you shouldnt criticise her cooking but be careful...my best friend and current wife fixed me a quiche when we were first dating and I raved about it and to this day she thinks its one of my favorite dishes so I get it quite often (and before the comments some, I do most of the cooking)...I actually hate quiche regardless of who cooks it so in this case number 2 fits.

[CrashTestRanch]

Originally Posted by Nature_Lover

SAD when people take a joke literally.

Why propagate weeds?

[Joshie]

Originally Posted by salmonslayer

I would also add that you shouldnt criticise her cooking but be careful...my best friend and current wife fixed me a quiche when we were first dating and I raved about it and to this day she thinks its one of my favorite dishes so I get it quite often (and before the comments some, I do most of the cooking)...I actually hate quiche regardless of who cooks it so in this case number 2 fits.

Confess lovingly.

[paintboy]

Do you ladies realize that rules like this are a major cause of divorce? Imagine if you had to live under random ever changing rules based on fear and insecurity.

[cathleenc]

I think it's a pretty fair play list, for both parties involved, with the omisssion of rules 12-14.

[kbabin]

Men's rule list.

1. Do ask a question if you don't want an honest answer.

2. See rule #1

[wy_white_wolf]

Originally Posted by kbabin

Men's rule list.

1. Do ask a question if you don't want an honest answer.

2. See rule #1

Amen


.

[coalroadcabin]

Originally Posted by CrashTestRanch

#2 is the only one on this list that we even use in our relationship, all the others are just a bunch of BS matriarchal arguments based on total selfishness in a relationship, that by the looks of these rules, only apply AGAINST the male and never to be upheld by the female. Says a LOT about the female or male who lives by most of the rules. SAD

#1?
You don't call when you say you're going to call? Breaking promises is the surest way to ruin a relationship.

[coalroadcabin]

Originally Posted by CrashTestRanch

#2 is the only one on this list that we even use in our relationship, all the others are just a bunch of BS matriarchal arguments based on total selfishness in a relationship, that by the looks of these rules, only apply AGAINST the male and never to be upheld by the female. Says a LOT about the female or male who lives by most of the rules. SAD

#6?
So what do you disagree with? that talking is good or that shouting is bad or that slapping is a felony?

[ronbre]

if you really believe # 2 you can't really believe 4 5 9 and 10

[65284]

These are the guy rules! Please note.. these are all numbered "1 "
ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers ( FIRST & FOREMOST RULE)

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports, it's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.


1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.
Not both. If you already know best how to do it , just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle..

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Football or Hockey.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.