Anybody here have a family member with autism?

[Loquisimo]

Just wondering. I have it, and am pretty high functioning, more like Aspergers Syndrome but I just call myself HFA so as to remove confusion. I was born in 1974 long before anybody had heard of autism, so I was called mentally retarded, behaviorally disordered, and just plain bad. I take seven medications a day to alleviate the "comorbids" or associated disorders, and one of my greatest fears is not having access to medication, and I'm generally opposed to modern medicine so I hate feeling like I can't live without Big Pharma. But the stuff does help.

I never was able to get a job, most autistics can't get hired, but at least I have a skill (electronics/computer repair) that I can use to earn a living, problem is there are too many laid off IT guys around my area (Sacramento, CA) to earn a living, so I'm gonna be moving as soon as I can. I live off disability payments, another thing I hate about being autistic, I mean that's totally against my philosophy but I do it because for right now there's no alternative.

I am looking to move up into the hills and live alone in a little cabin and raise much of my own food, I have pretty much had it up to here with the cities and their crime and social problems. I want to work for myself, I have to since I can't get hired. Does anybody else know somebody with autism? Want to share experiences? I ask this on nearly every forum I join.

[Alice In TX/MO]

My husband has Asperger's Syndrome. He is a consulting petroleum engineer. He has his own corporation, and he works for small companies who need wellsite supervision on drilling and workover rigs.

He has limited social skills, so being out in the oilfield works well for him. He is VERY focused and has a one track mind. He's very good at math and has an incredible memory for numbers.

My daughter in law sent me an article on good jobs for people with autism and Asperger's, but I'll have to find it again. I'll post it here when I find it.

Edited to add:
http://autismaspergerssyndrome.suite...specialisterne

[Terri]

My son has aspergers, but he is only 15.

I watch threads like this one closely, so that I can guide my son.

[Freya]

My husband and middle son (8yo) are both Aspies. My husband is a high level IT Security guy. The IT "game" is VERY hard to break into or stay in. Neither is medicated. We chose not to go that route, and to work harder on coping skills and self soothing abilities. The kids are homeschooled and it really helps with all the co existing issues. You might find being out there and "centered" helps lessen the need for medication. You might find a bit more "peace".


Are you over on WrongPlanet? You can ask if anyone else is living the "life" you want.



We are moving to be debt free, for hubby and son to have "space", for my other kids who have different special needs to flourish, and to have a safe food supply for my youngest who has multiple severe food allergies.


I also HAVE to make sure that I have a set up in the event my kids can't live alone, the world ends, or heck even if the zombies come. CO is awesome... except the zoning and water issues are making even the "cheaper" tracts of land really hard to deal with. I can't build each child their own cabin here. So I am going somewhere I know they will always have a place to live and food to eat.

[Loquisimo]

Terri, most "aspies" do poorly in college, for various reasons. If he is technologically inclined, it would probably be best for him to learn a trade. Also, he will eventually want to know homesteading techniques, since he'll eventually be like I want to be, the mountain man up in the hills, and if he's happy with that you should be too. He may never give you grandchildren, or be rich, but as long as he's self-sufficient that's all that counts.

I hate not being self-sufficient. Most autistics are not self-sufficient, and the autism forum I'm on is constantly filled with the laments of autistics who are unable to work and who are forced to live like animals in a ghetto somewhere because they can't find a job and many times their parents have abandoned them, so they live on SSI. I live with my parents, so I have a place to sleep that is clean. I am gonna move to another city because I can practice my trade better in a more rural area. It's a little nerve wracking, but it's what needs to be done.

[Loquisimo]

Originally Posted by Freya

My husband and middle son (8yo) are both Aspies. My husband is a high level IT Security guy. The IT "game" is VERY hard to break into or stay in. Neither is medicated. We chose not to go that route, and to work harder on coping skills and self soothing abilities. The kids are homeschooled and it really helps with all the co existing issues. You might find being out there and "centered" helps lessen the need for medication. You might find a bit more "peace".


Are you over on WrongPlanet? You can ask if anyone else is living the "life" you want.



We are moving to be debt free, for hubby and son to have "space", for my other kids who have different special needs to flourish, and to have a safe food supply for my youngest who has multiple severe food allergies.


I also HAVE to make sure that I have a set up in the event my kids can't live alone, the world ends, or heck even if the zombies come. CO is awesome... except the zoning and water issues are making even the "cheaper" tracts of land really hard to deal with. I can't build each child their own cabin here. So I am going somewhere I know they will always have a place to live and food to eat.

I am "pezar" on Wrong Planet. My parents never considered that I might have to live without them someday, and my mom was the smothering type. I have lots of skills, but she still insists I should live with her instead of moving somewhere else. We had this argument when I moved out at 18 and when I moved to San Francisco a year later (for 20 months), so it's frustrating to refight these battles over and over. I eventually became unable to pay local rents, and eventually moved in with my grandparents, then back with my parents. I've learned how to cope over time, but I do have biochemistry issues that the meds solve. They make me less agitated and less likely to hoard.

[Freeholder]

My youngest daughter is autistic. She's twenty-nine and low-functioning (on the level of a three-year-old for the most part) and has some other health problems as well (celiac disease, vitiligo, and lupus). She is on medication now -- generic Zoloft for the autism, and plaquenil for the lupus. And I have to keep her out of the sun, both because of the vitiligo and the lupus -- she does have lupus flares after she's been out in the sun.

I do worry about what will happen if we ever can't get her medications; she's only been taking them for two or three years, but there has been such a big improvement in her behavior and general level of happiness that I would hate for her to have to go without them. I've learned that her crabby, tantrum spells are because she's a. tired, b. hungry, c. not feeling well, or d. stressed or being rushed. I can alleviate those to some extent even without the medications, but she does a lot better with them.

She requires 24 hour supervision, so I'm not able to work full-time -- my grandmother usually watches her while I'm at my part-time job, but Grandma is 96 and won't be around forever, so eventually DD and I will both be living off her SSI and whatever I can make by selling eggs and goat milk (and the way things are going, I don't think we can count on the SSI always being there, either). I guess I would say to you to be thankful that you are high-functioning, because you do have options. My daughter will require care for her entire life unless some miracle happens. I will add that I love her dearly and don't begrudge her the time and care she needs at all, but it does limit our options quite a bit.

I've thought that it would be good to have a community of people with disabled children who are going to always need care, so that we could help one another when necessary, and so that someone would be there for our children when we are no longer able to care for them. I have prayed that God would take my daughter and I home at the same time, too, because there really isn't any family who could easily fit her into their homes and lives. She has two older sisters, one of whom is co-guardian with me and would take her if necessary, but it would be hard.

Kathleen

[Freya]

Originally Posted by Loquisimo

I am "pezar" on Wrong Planet. My parents never considered that I might have to live without them someday, and my mom was the smothering type. I have lots of skills, but she still insists I should live with her instead of moving somewhere else. We had this argument when I moved out at 18 and when I moved to San Francisco a year later (for 20 months), so it's frustrating to refight these battles over and over. I eventually became unable to pay local rents, and eventually moved in with my grandparents, then back with my parents. I've learned how to cope over time, but I do have biochemistry issues that the meds solve. They make me less agitated and less likely to hoard.

Well I can say I do worry about my kids having to be on their own or without me. I am hoping in this move that since we will be debt free and have the land paid for... that each kid can have a cabin (if they choose to stay) and will always have the land even if I am gone. I truly hope all three of them will be completely capable and functioning well enough to do whatever they want in life. I am also wise enough to know to plan ahead incase one or more are not.


I want to be the "back up" plan for them. So they will always have shelter and the ability to grow/raise their own food. They are welcome to stay, or if they really want to go elsewhere I will do whatever I can to help them follow their own dreams.



I have also been raising them to look towards working for themselves as a I know college is most likely out of the question and dealing with people at a low level job wont work for them. They have an interest in woodworking so I am going to get land with alot of trees... so they have a "built in" possibility.



I do have one child who has to take alot of meds (bipolar/extreme anxiety) so I know your fear of being without. I am very afraid of a crash or inability to pay for his meds... he doesn't function well without them.





I think the best thing you can do is since you have this dream.... do whatever you can to make it come true. If you can have a little chunk that is pad for and can get your own food and water... you are set for alot of things.

[Maura]

My nephew is autistic, he was diagnoses as an infant. His mother is very committed to doing everything she can, and fortuneately they were living in California when he was born, so there was early intervention. One thing I noticed that helped a lot was taking him to a person who does energy work. This would include reiki, magnified healing, etc.

[Mid Tn Mama]

Do you currently have a job in the new area? That might be why she is worried about your move. If you have no savings to tide you over and do not own property, it could be a risky financial venture. Maybe she believes in you, just wants you to be safe. In your case, the meds that you require mean that you must have a job that will pay for those meds or that has coverage.

But more power to you for wanting to be successful and trying to do what you can, planning for the future! Go forth!

But yes, I do believe that everyone should do whatever they can to be independent and have backup plans. Homesteading is a practical way to live. However, VERY FEW people can totally live without an outside job.

[Beeman]

http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2...20fa_fact_page

Anyone ever read Tim Page's article?

[Loquisimo]

Originally Posted by Mid Tn Mama

Do you currently have a job in the new area? That might be why she is worried about your move. If you have no savings to tide you over and do not own property, it could be a risky financial venture. Maybe she believes in you, just wants you to be safe. In your case, the meds that you require mean that you must have a job that will pay for those meds or that has coverage.

But more power to you for wanting to be successful and trying to do what you can, planning for the future! Go forth!

But yes, I do believe that everyone should do whatever they can to be independent and have backup plans. Homesteading is a practical way to live. However, VERY FEW people can totally live without an outside job.

I get Social Security, actually since my mom is retired I get Social Security Survivor's Insurance instead of SSI, they switched me over once she retired. I get $927 a month, and also am on my mom's Medicare to pay for prescriptions. Once I move I plan on going into business for myself doing computer repair, it's a more rural area so there are fewer people doing PC repairs, here in Sacramento all the tech guys who have been laid off from HP and Intel and others are doing freelance repair work for food money, so the competition for work is intense, and people are beating each other up trying to be the cheapest. I plan on moving to Redding area up north where there are fewer PC repair guys, which means less competition. Yes, it's risky, but sometimes you've gotta take a risk to get anywhere in life. If it doesn't work out I'll simply move back home. I don't have any property up there yet, but plan on saving and buying some. In the meantime I will rent. I know that I'll never get anywhere if I stay here, so I have to take a chance. My mom doesn't understand taking risks, her whole life she avoided taking any sort of risk. Her biggest risk was having a baby (me) during the inflationary depression of the 70s. She is a CONSTANT worrier. Not to say that my eyes aren't wide open, but she worries to the point of ridiculousness.

[Freya]

Originally Posted by Beeman

http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2...20fa_fact_page

Anyone ever read Tim Page's article?

Alot of that was like reading about my husband.

[Freya]

Originally Posted by Loquisimo

I get Social Security, actually since my mom is retired I get Social Security Survivor's Insurance instead of SSI, they switched me over once she retired. I get $927 a month, and also am on my mom's Medicare to pay for prescriptions. Once I move I plan on going into business for myself doing computer repair, it's a more rural area so there are fewer people doing PC repairs, here in Sacramento all the tech guys who have been laid off from HP and Intel and others are doing freelance repair work for food money, so the competition for work is intense, and people are beating each other up trying to be the cheapest. I plan on moving to Redding area up north where there are fewer PC repair guys, which means less competition. Yes, it's risky, but sometimes you've gotta take a risk to get anywhere in life. If it doesn't work out I'll simply move back home. I don't have any property up there yet, but plan on saving and buying some. In the meantime I will rent. I know that I'll never get anywhere if I stay here, so I have to take a chance. My mom doesn't understand taking risks, her whole life she avoided taking any sort of risk. Her biggest risk was having a baby (me) during the inflationary depression of the 70s. She is a CONSTANT worrier. Not to say that my eyes aren't wide open, but she worries to the point of ridiculousness.

You will never know if it will work until you give it a try. So follow your dreams!



Also you can never know real and true worry until you are a parent. And even then my husband will never be able to feel the "depth" of my worry... he doesnt feel worry "normally" in the eyes of an NT, many times he is quite unemotional. It may be true your mom is way out of line in worry, but it is also possible that you just perceive her differently, and others may think she is just being a "normal" mom.

[NoMoMoney]

Freya, you and I are alot alike. I live in Colorado and I am moving to Missouri. My oldest son was never diagnosed with anything but I think he has a very mild form of autism. When he was almost 2 he stopped talking. He used to pull his hair out till he had bald spots all over his head. I took him to speech therapy for four years and for four years no one could tell me what was wrong with him. When he did start talking I could only understand about 20% of what he said. He would get so frustrated just trying to talk to me that he would just start crying. It was heartbreaking. When he was in 3rd grade the counselor told me that he thought my son was depressed and it wasn't normal for a child to not have any friends. I found out about 2 months after that the other kids and the teachers were making fun of him. I took all of the kids out of school and homeschooled them.

I own my land in Missouri and we are going to try to be as self sufficient as possible. My son is 22 now and does not like to be around people. He will go to his room if we have company. He has some anger issues but there not to bad. He still has some speech problems and has trouble putting his thought together. He still doesn't have any friends and says he doesn't care. He loves taking care of all our animals. He has done some pet and house sitting for friends of his dad, so he could do that if he had to in Missouri. He loves to watch National Geographic and the History chanel. He knows more about everything than I do and more than I even care to know. He loves airplanes and wants to learn to fly. I am hoping that I will have the means to get him lessons some day.

I love all of my children but I do worry more about my oldest son. I know they can make it on their own. I think he could too but it will be harder for him. Thats why I worry, I want them all to be happy. I want to know they will always have a place to live.

[Alice In TX/MO]

That does sound like Asperger's or mild autism.

[Beeman]

Originally Posted by Freya

Alot of that was like reading about my husband.

I heard an interview with him on the radio, had to look it up when I got home. My son is much like that, tests out very high IQ.

[Joshie]

My children are on the spectrum. I am a mod on a yahoo group for those with autism spectrum disorders and metabolic disease.

[craftnkids]

I have 2 sons on the spectrum- both high fuctioning.
We homeschool which has aleviated a bunch of the issues we used to have. We learn at their pace which is extremely fast in some things (science) and super slow in others like spelling.
My oldest is 15 and has just taken up rowing for our local team. It is the first athletic thing he has done and been successful. I am so proud!
It really is the little things around here- last year my 10 yo rode his first roller coaster. Before his sensory issues prohibited him from even considering it.
Our days can be challenging, but I wouldn't change anything.
Angela

[TheMrs]

Our 4yo DS is undiagnosed, but I believe that he is on the autism spectrum. He has what I believe to be a normal vocabulary, but he doesn't use it the way other children do. He doesn't ask curious questions or make conversation on his own. If you do hear him ask a question or have a conversation with someone, more likely than not he's just repeating something that he heard on television. If you ask him what show that conversation is from he'll tell you. He loves television and will memorize entire cartoons from beginning to end including any sound effects. When he gets excited he will dance around on his tiptoes and flap his hands. As he's doing this his mouth will open and his jaw will become rigid. After telling him many times to control his arms, he is now beginning to clap his hands when excited instead of simply flapping his arms. He doesn't seem to have much interest in playing with other children. He likes to pace around the outer edge of an area. It could be our fenced-in backyard or the walls of a gymnasium. He just likes to walk around the outer perimeter over and over again. Also, there are certain things that just set him off and he will have what I call a "meltdown." During a meltdown he will run in place and bang his hands against his ears while he screams. It's little things that throw him into a meltdown..like telling him to get out from behind the librarian's desk. He has a meltdown every time I tell him that.

He's been able to spell and count to 100 since he was two. He can recite all the presidents backwards and forwards and knows the states' capitals. He's a very smart child.

Interestingly, we've already seen improvements by making changes in his diet. I know that many don't believe that diet is related to autism, but I've seen positive change in my son. In July we stopped eating any food that contained artificial colors, flavors, sweeteners, or preservatives, as well as MSG and corn syrup. The incidents of humming and arm flapping have decreased since we started this diet. DS no longer wakes up screaming in the middle of the night for no apparent reason. Also, prior to changing our eating, DS refused to go #2 on the potty. He was four years old and we would literally have to hold him on the potty while he kicked and screamed. He absolutely refused to go. He would have a meltdown anytime we tried. On day four of the diet, DS went on the potty. On day five, he went to the bathroom all by himself, did his business, and flushed all by himself. It was an incredible improvement in a very short period of time.

I'm currently reading a book by Dr. Natasha Campbell-McBride and we may be implementing her diet at some point after we get settled into our homestead. I refuse to give up hope that there's something I can do to help DS overcome this.

My prayers are will all of you that are dealing with this.