Need advice about a thief

zukgod · #1 10/12/08, 12:24 AM

We have a very small farm stand out front, and sell some extra things we have to help get a little extra money. I got a Huge pumpkin this year about 150 pounds or so, and we decided to sell it. I was asking $20 and a neighbor stoped and asked how much it was, the wife said $20 and she said we don't have enough, she gave it to her for $15. Now we have a little honesty box on the farm stand and she told her to put the money in the box because she was busy. So tonight I go and check the box and what do we get for bieng nice $10. I have no idea what to do, I know what I want to do. I hate thieves and her family does not have a good reputation for thier honesty.

So any advice would be great, I thought I might go over and tell he she forgot to pay before leaving and give her a chance. I am just so mad. How are you going to rip someone off that put there hard work into growing something?

Lifer · #2 10/12/08, 12:44 AM

Say nothing, turn the other cheek, it's not worth the hassle with a neighbor who lives close by since she has the option of denial and you have no real proof. Never allow that person use of the honesty box or a discount again. She'll get the message loud and clear.

Lifer

zukgod · #3 10/12/08, 12:56 AM

The only proof was that there was only $10 in the locked box. I almost feel as if I don't say something she will feel as it's ok to continue stealing from folks.

Rondah · #4 10/12/08, 01:03 AM

This is a really tough one because it sounds like you aren't so much concerned about the 5-10 dollars, but that she stole from you. You are upset on principle, as you should be. Personally, I think I would let it go, mostly because she is a neighbor, and she taught you a very good 5 dollar lesson about her character. If you feel compelled to talk to her, I suggest you call and let her know that there was only 10 dollars in the box, and ask if she planned on paying the difference later, and if so, when? She will probably lie and get defensive.
I would say it may have been an innocent error on her part, except that you said she has a reputation for this kind of thing.
You sound like a decent person, and you certainly don't deserve to have to fret over this kind of thing.

BTW, I love your siggy line

zukgod · #5 10/12/08, 01:12 AM

Rondah

Thanks for the kind words, you are correct it's not about the money at all. If it had been corn or any other vegie we have out there, I would not be as upset. I would figure they needed the food, which is still stealing but in my convoluted mind would seem some how more justified. It just irks me, I have given this family apples from our trees and food from our garden without asking for a thing in return. I guess some just have no morales, and a thief is the lowest of the low in my book.

Rondah · #6 10/12/08, 01:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zukgod

Rondah

Thanks for the kind words, you are correct it's not about the money at all. If it had been corn or any other vegie we have out there, I would not be as upset. I would figure they needed the food, which is still stealing but in my convoluted mind would seem some how more justified. It just irks me, I have given this family apples from our trees and food from our garden without asking for a thing in return. I guess some just have no morales, and a thief is the lowest of the low in my book.

You've given them food? Hmmm you know, that would change this situation in my mind. I agree that if it was food they stole, I would let it slide, figuring they needed food, and maybe they were too proud to ask, but stealing a pumpkin is something else all together.
Given that you have been generous with food in the past, and that you would probably be inclined to share food in the future, I think you ought to say something to them, or, if you prefer, maybe you could leave a note in their box. I would say something like this:

Neighbor, I have always been happy to share food with you, and will continue to do so this spring and summer, when my garden comes in. I consider this kind of reciprocal sharing to be a neighborly thing to do.

I am very upset that you didn't pay the asked amount for a pumpkin that I put a lot of work and love into growing, and I don't want this upset on my part to damage our friendly relationship. If this was an innocent error on your part, please forgive me for getting upset. If this was on purpose, I trust that you will understand my upset over this, and kindly put the rest of the pumpkin money in the money box.
God Bless,
Your Neighbor

(I'm a chicken, so I would drop a note....)

Terrabus · #7 10/12/08, 01:36 AM

Having known their family's history of bad behavior beforehand means you might have been able to guess what was going to happen. No excuse for their bad behavior, though.

Honestly, I would let it go. I wouldn't give them a chance to do it again and I'd let more folks know about what happened. Seriously, 5 bucks ain't worth getting upset over when it means your sanity and serenity. Your sanity is worth more than 5 bucks.

Alice In TX/MO · #8 10/12/08, 03:05 AM

Realize that you don't know the rest of the story. Maybe she only had $10. Maybe the rest of her cash was going to pay the electricity bill. Maybe her hubby would yell at her for buying it at all, and she was protecting herself.

Maybe God was telling *you* something.

zukgod · #9 10/12/08, 03:39 AM

What exactly would God be telling me? the bible says Thou shalt not steal. Treat thy neighbor as you wish to be treated. I agree that sometimes it's good to turn the other cheek. But when someone takes something off of my family's table that's were I draw the line. I am afraid if it's let why would they not just do it again. I don't guard the stand all day. I will sleep on it and try and figure out what to do. Her family is Wickan or however you spell it, and I really don't want anything to do with them. My wife did not recognise them until she said who she was by then it was to late. Thanks for all the advice, I will update.

Shygal · #10 10/12/08, 04:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rose

Realize that you don't know the rest of the story. Maybe she only had $10. Maybe the rest of her cash was going to pay the electricity bill. Maybe her hubby would yell at her for buying it at all, and she was protecting herself.

Maybe God was telling *you* something.

Then she shouldnt have bought it, period, if that was the case.

Not everything is a lesson from God, and I dont really understand all the responses of "dont say anything because its neighborly". This neighbor wasnt being neighborly to them, why should they just sit and be quiet? Why should someone else get something that they didnt pay for, and the honest person always have to sit and live with it?

toomb68 · #11 10/12/08, 04:24 AM

lesson learned....just be done with them. they'll figure it out.....

beaglebiz · #12 10/12/08, 05:03 AM

[QUOTE=Shygal;3361944]Then she shouldnt have bought it, period, if that was the case.QUOTE]

I totally agree with this...it wanst an edible, and therefore not necessary. I didnt buy any large pumpkins this year, because I think its best to save my money for my family. (our crop got rabbit eaten).

stranger · #13 10/12/08, 05:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zukgod

We have a very small farm stand out front, and sell some extra things we have to help get a little extra money. I got a Huge pumpkin this year about 150 pounds or so, and we decided to sell it. I was asking $20 and a neighbor stoped and asked how much it was, the wife said $20 and she said we don't have enough, she gave it to her for $15. Now we have a little honesty box on the farm stand and she told her to put the money in the box because she was busy. So tonight I go and check the box and what do we get for bieng nice $10. I have no idea what to do, I know what I want to do. I hate thieves and her family does not have a good reputation for thier honesty.

So any advice would be great, I thought I might go over and tell he she forgot to pay before leaving and give her a chance. I am just so mad. How are you going to rip someone off that put there hard work into growing something?

when you file this extra money on your state and fed income tax, will you put down the 5 bucks as a loss or just forget to file on the extra money.

chickenista · #14 10/12/08, 06:17 AM

Wow!! She actually paid something? As I started reading I was sure it would end with the pumpkin gone in the middle of the night.
I am not being flippant, I am just happy you got any money at all.
Lesson learned.

Iddee · #15 10/12/08, 06:34 AM

If she was big enough and strong enough to lift a 150 lb. pumpkin and load it in her car or carry it home, I don't think I would confront her at all.

eurycea12 · #16 10/12/08, 06:39 AM

If this woman is using her last $5 for the electric bill and not paying what she agreed to...what the hell is she doing with a 150 lb pumpkin? Stealing is wrong and making excuses for it is wrong also.
You zukgod, are allowing someone to take advantage of you. The only thing Lincoln said worth a ---- - "Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twicw, shame on me."

coup · #17 10/12/08, 06:44 AM

is the box locked....is it possible some of her people picked it up and shorted you.....you might tell her you were short and wondered if it was her or another customer..you might have to quit because you didn't like being taken advantage of.

Modern Pioneer · #18 10/12/08, 06:48 AM

I think i would let it slide as well. How about you go and repo the pumpkin. HeHe just kidding. I dont mean to make light of the subject. Like others said lesson learned. I deffinately would never give them anything again.
I too like your signature

--zukgod

Keep your powder dry
BTW it spelled Wiccan

uyk7 · #19 10/12/08, 07:47 AM

1. Maybe she only had $10 at that time and was planning on putting the other $5 in the box later. or.....

2. The five fell on the ground?

I don't think there would be any harm in asking (not accusing) if she might have dropped the five on the ground.

.

MELOC · #20 10/12/08, 08:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iddee

If she was big enough and strong enough to lift a 150 lb. pumpkin and load it in her car or carry it home, I don't think I would confront her at all.

not to make light of the situation, but...BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

good one!