How can I keep religious witnesses away?

brownthumb · #1 04/30/07, 05:57 PM

I live in a very secluded location. My privacy is important to me. There are several religious groups who have been leaving tracts at my doors.
Recently, one left a flyer on my mailbox that soaked the ink onto the box when it rained and I can't scrub it out. Today, another left a tract near my daylight basement door that is around the back of the house. I don't have curtains since I live in a place where I shouldn't need them. My driveway is 500 ft long. There are no specific names on this trash, only the "affiliated" home office of their church which is not local.
What do I do to get rid of these people who always seem to deliver their messages when I am not at home? I really don't like people I don't know stopping in if they don't have a good reason to but I feel it would be a bad idea to post a sign saying "keep out" or even "no solicitors." The local ordinance already prohibits solicitations and a sign is posted just an 1/8 mile down the road by the county stating that fact. Any suggestions?

agmantoo · #2 04/30/07, 06:12 PM

Put a cable across the drive and keep the cable locked.

Bink · #3 04/30/07, 06:14 PM

"Beware of Dog"

DKWunlimited · #4 04/30/07, 06:21 PM

Keep out, violators will be shot first and questions asked later.

tallpines · #5 04/30/07, 06:38 PM

We have a huge Saint Bernard.

He would not bite anyone-----but, he sure does a good job of slobbering all over those nice suits and dresses

knight88 · #6 04/30/07, 06:42 PM

Try answering the door wearing nothing but a bath towel. It worked for my BIL..

briches · #7 04/30/07, 06:47 PM

Tell then you're Catholic. :+) A friend (who was Catholic) told me that, and it did work. However, you actually have to be home for that one to work. Best of luck to you!

Ford8N · #8 04/30/07, 06:59 PM

If they are JWs then tell them that you are "disfellowshipped" and darned happy about it. Disfellowshipping is their version of Catholic excommunication or Amish shunning. They will then avoid you like the plaque.

Don't ask how I know this. :-)

seedspreader · #9 04/30/07, 07:08 PM

Just for your information, as one of those "religious people" that visits other people, ordinance or not it is completely legal to distribute whatever pamphlets they are distributing. There is a difference between solicitation and distribution of materials.

Leaving it on a mailbox and ruining though is another matter entirely. Call them and tell them you want a new mailbox. But each of those tracts should have an address and phone number on them. Call them and tell them not to come back and post a no trespassing sign.

Bink · #10 04/30/07, 07:15 PM

"Quarantine" might be a useful sign, too.

suburbanite · #11 04/30/07, 07:16 PM

Ask the nearest wiccan to scribe some kind of conspicuous wiccan protection sign on your driveway (the kind of thing that is supposed to repel evil spirits).

Prolly scare the socks off them.

Or a sign saying "Trespassers will be sacrificed at the next full moon."

Honorine · #12 04/30/07, 07:21 PM

I really hate anyone, religious tract distributers or not coming up to my house, hence the property is posted. I've considered putting up gates to keep them from pulling into the driveway entirely. I'm also very rude to anyone who dares to ignore my signs, and have had people cited for trespassing. I'm the first house on a private drive, so I'm the first line of defense for all my neighbors. I've thrown many people off the hill and saved my neighbors from harassment, they love me for it. Maybe work something out with the neighbors to discourage all such trespassing? Sadly in todays world privacy is something you have to fight for, people seems to think that getting their message across/selling their product is far more important than your right to privacy.

zant · #13 04/30/07, 07:27 PM

When I was younger I would invite them in,roll a big fat one and clean my rifle while puffing away...Now I'm older and more mature so I just politely ask them not to come back and tell them my property is posted for a reason..Seems to work...

FalconDance · #14 04/30/07, 07:39 PM

I tell them I'm a witch - works for me. My son, however, is much more circumspect (raised to respect his elders and all that) and politely takes the tract then shuts the door in their faces.

~Falcon

big rockpile · #15 04/30/07, 07:43 PM

If its JW I just tell them I have a better deal

big rockpile

rabbitgal · #16 04/30/07, 08:00 PM

"No thank you, I'm happy in my current church."

They really should have the name and address of the local religious organization though...bad form...

CGUARDSMAN · #17 04/30/07, 08:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ZealYouthGuy

Just for your information, as one of those "religious people" that visits other people, ordinance or not it is completely legal to distribute whatever pamphlets they are distributing. There is a difference between solicitation and distribution of materials.

Leaving it on a mailbox and ruining though is another matter entirely. Call them and tell them you want a new mailbox. But each of those tracts should have an address and phone number on them. Call them and tell them not to come back and post a no trespassing sign.

don't know about the laws in Ohio but in MO "distributing pamphlets most certainly is solicitation under our statutes and if the property is posted against it a complaint and charge can be brought against the distributor. i am firmly southern baptist and the JW were coming by my place during the day when my wife was sleeping(works nights) we posted our property and now don't hear from them of course a couple times being met at the door by our bull mastiff helped

moopups · #18 04/30/07, 08:11 PM

Its real simple, when they show up, ask; ' Are youse the guys da boss sent out to take away the cop's body', in your best Italian accent. As they stumble through the many 'No's', simply slam the door'. That would be from the inside.

Actually my experiences are to engage in debate for the first couple of encounters, dazzle them with your brilliance, baffle them with what ever BS is necessary. Then tell them you are not interested in their beliefs. Then ask why there are no windows in their place of worship, ask if they are trying to contain something evil. Start every sentence with the words; 'My Rabbi said', ect. The more confusing the signal , the quicker they lose interest in revisiting. Or you could answer the door in military camo trousers, pink rubber boots, a bikini top (excessively bright colors) and the 20 gauge shot gun, pump off the first couple of rounds in to the air, then ask ; "Did you see that, it tried to land".

Maybe its highly noticeable that I do not have time for those intruders also.

RoseGarden · #19 04/30/07, 08:13 PM

You need to put up a gate of some sort, be it cable, fence, pipe, whatever, and put a large sign on it that says No Trespassing and No Solicitation of Any Kind. We religious types have to put up with things we don't like too, and I have a sign of this sort on my front gate. Not to keep the religious out, but rather to keep the salespeople out who would try to sell me satellite dishes, cable tv, housecleaning services, pet boarding, meat out of the back of a truck, etc. You're not the only one who has to deal with unwanted people on their property.

Hoop · #20 04/30/07, 08:25 PM

I have a surefire method for making certain Jehovah Witnesses, 7th Day Adventists or other religious loonies never intrude upon me more than once. (yes, they have been here).
I tell them in a stern voice "Leave immediately before I call the police".

Obviously, these people must hear this a lot, as they immediately get back in their vehicle and depart.