Do you think parents should pay for their childrens college education?

[Beeman]

Do you think that parents should pay for the childrens college education? If you do why do you feel that it should be this way? Did your parents pay for your college if you went?

[beorning]

Yes, within limits, and if it's possible.

We are planning on paying for our daughters college education. The limits will be that we will only pay for it if she has a clear and concise plan that will result in a career oriented degree within four years. She'll have to keep her grades up, and will be expected to work part time to help cover her expenses. Any money from us will not go towards non-school related expenses.She'll be accountable for keeping us posted about how the money is spent. If we are capable, we'll also help her pay for a post-graduate degree as well, with the same stipulations.

My father was one that insisted that I had to go to college and had not set aside a nickel in order to help me to do so. He also offered no assistance in trying to figure out how to pay for it other than "you could get a scholarship". I didn't go.

[Big Dave]

I have a daughter in College and I only can wish I could pay her way. She works two jobs and carries a full load. She pays her own way and even though it builds character I wish I could help more. I have been able to send $$ for books. I have helped with rent on her apartment as I can. She gets a pell grant but that is not enough to live on.
Should parents help??? That is an individual call. I am very proud of my daughters achievments and independence.
This parent votes YES

[LisaInN.Idaho]

Yes, if they can and the child is serious about his/her education.

[stirfamily]

Sorry, no I don't think parents should pay. Several reasons, I paid my own way and graduated at age 42. I can't count the number of times I sat in class and really wanted to learn while the "kiddies" who parents paid sat back there and talked and had a good time. We didn't pay for our kids and they worked their way through and it's something they earned themselves that no one can take from them.
karen in Indiana

[Boleyz]

My daughter was 7th in her HS class of 232 and had a 4.3 GPA. She scored a 28 on the ACT test. She has received a lot of scholarship money.

Her education is still going to cost me about $5000.00 per year.

She's in an "Honors Program" at Eastern KY University and will be staying in a special Honors dorm (Honors program kids only). To remain in the honors program (which pays half her tuition) she must maintain 16-18 credit hours each semester and maintain a 3.0 GPA.

As long as she's working hard in her studies and behaving herself properly, I have no problem with paying the $5000.00 per year.

If she decides to start partying and raising cain and falls out of the honors program and loses her state scholarship $$, I can't make up the difference. She knows that.

Sooooo...I'm hoping she'll do right, so that I can continue to help her.

I think she'll be fine, and I will always back my kids as long as they're doing good things.

[NancyinArkansas]

i agree with beorning but i would expect them to have a part time job and if they fall down on the grades or start partying ,then the money stops. Nancy

[Wayne02]

I will provide room and board for him in our home as long as he is doing well in school and taking it seriously.

[Freeholder]

It really does depend on the family. I think that the youngster will value his or her education more if they have to earn the money themselves, whether by keeping their grades up so they can get scholarships, or by holding a job or two (or both). But I would help where I was able (and did, when my two were in college. I couldn't help much, but I did what I could.).

Kathleen

[mowrey1999]

As far as paying for college my parents couldnt afford it , Nobody ever told me they would pay for college and I never asked , when I was able to take classes I paid for them myself, My kids were told if they wanted to go to college they would have to do as I did pay as you go if that was what they wanted , or go into the military,They went to community college and worked and graduated and did it without any debt, I felt it was a better lesson since it taught them as well as myself when I was younger how to manage money and if you really want something you can get it,Sure things were hard but lifes a lot harder than the 4 years of schooling ,I don,t know how many guys I have worked with who have sent there sons an daughters to expensive schools and only been dissappointed by bad grades, kids running up cell phone bills, credit card bills ect and then dropping out, Or others who sent there kids to expensive schools and they do graduate and then say even though they may have a accounting degree they want to do something else.I have seen this several times now,well as long as they are paying I guess its ok,

[donsgal]

Originally Posted by Beeman

Do you think that parents should pay for the childrens college education? If you do why do you feel that it should be this way? Did your parents pay for your college if you went?

No. If a child is not able to get a scholarship they should work to earn their own money to go to college. It builds character and gives them a sense of what the real world is about. And once they get their degree and cannot find a job in their field, or decide they really do not want to be what they "thought" they wanted to be. The work experience will be beneficial to them.


My parents did not pay for my college. I used by GI entitlements from being in the military and the rest of it I worked and paid for myself. Yes, it took 10 years for me to get my 4-year degree, but I wouldn't have had it any other way. Besides, my college education has been worthless to me.

donsgal

[Ashman]

No....

My dad told us that he would make it possible if we wanted to through 4-H projects. I had grand Champion steer at the State fair and it paid for about 1/3 of my degree in Agriculture at M.S.U.


I told my sons I'd do the same. They showed hogs. Neither expressed an interest in college although both were 3.5 and better students in a class AA school. Youngest had an opportunity to get a college scholarship to play football in a Div. II school.

They both declined to go to college not for the reason of not a opportunity to go...but rather realized it was not for them. So, if they don't believe in themselves with the opportunity to make enough money, why should I give them the $$$ just to see if it is for them.... an opportunity to coast in life 4 years or until they decide what to do?

Bottom line, if they don't believe in themselves, why set out the money just to see if it is for them. They are the ones who will profit, so they should be the one who lays out the cash...or sign for a student loan, grant, what have you.

[Queen Bee]

Thank goodness, we were able to pay for all of our children's college education. They carried full loads and worked full time--for their spending money or other needs. We were lucky enough to have two with scholarship money that really helped. So, many children start their adult lives with 100,000$ worth of school/grant bills and it is already sooo hard on the average young family.
We have a friend how could not help her son become a large animal vet and he is now paying back 130K in loans. Anther young lady was a engineer--she has almost 100k in bills-- 8yrs later she is happy to say they are paid for--working full time and a waitress job at night ... How could one ever- get them paid, have a family and start a business...
We would have worked four jobs to make sure THEIR dreams of a higher education was paid for... They have all done very well with their career decisions and gone on to have more than we ever dreamed they would do without that high burden!

[HeavenHelpMe]

I think both should contribute at the beginning, but the child going should be responsible for more. I went to college on my parents' dime, and I didn't really appreciate it as much as I should. I was very immature still when I went in, and I should have waited, got a job first, and worked my way through. I would have learned a lot more about life in general had they not given me cash hand over fist.

I'm not saying every college-bound youngster is an ungrateful so and so like I was (and yes-I am admitting that I was not a very honorable person in my youth), but I think anyone could come out with a better appreciation for their hard-earned education than just having it handed to them and taking things for granted. I didn't learn money skills, life skills, how to handle financial short periods, etc. until recently because my family handed me everything on a plate any time I needed help, any time I wanted something extra, etc. I am finally getting to a place of telling them NO when they want to fix my life when a problem comes up or hand me money. They despise it when I do that, but I keep reminding them that they are not going to live forever. It's just plain rediculous at this point.

If my son decides to go on to a higher education, I will help him get started, but he will work for what he has and my husband and I will only do so much for him. I feel it is kinder, really. Maybe then, he won't be in his mid-thirties before he "gets" it.

[Beeman]

Originally Posted by donsgal

No. If a child is not able to get a scholarship they should work to earn their own money to go to college. It builds character and gives them a sense of what the real world is about. And once they get their degree and cannot find a job in their field, or decide they really do not want to be what they "thought" they wanted to be. The work experience will be beneficial to them.


My parents did not pay for my college. I used by GI entitlements from being in the military and the rest of it I worked and paid for myself. Yes, it took 10 years for me to get my 4-year degree, but I wouldn't have had it any other way. Besides, my college education has been worthless to me.

donsgal

I like the last line of your post.

My son is in college and we provide room and board and moral support. He tried the big state university and like most that do it wasn't a good experience but it didn't cost him a dime. He's regrouped at the community college and has a 3.9 GPA and is working at getting a scholarship to go to a 4 year school. So far I see this college thing as a money eating machine if you feed it. I didn't go to college and neither did my wife, other family members did and paid their own way.
The statistics of how few graduate in 4 years and how few ever work even a day in their chosen major really makes you wonder about the cost. It seems the schools have tapped into the parents need to pay for an education and charge accordingly.

[Peace n Quiet]

Many interesting replies so far...

I wonder of those who have replied yes, how many children do you have?

We have four children. Our oldest is looking at colleges now. His first choice is $33,000/year! He knows that we will NOT be paying his way through school, but will help out as we can.

I believe that my first priority is saving for retirement. After that, I still have other children to consider. Should I remortgage the home for the first one? I don't think so... although he has told me that that's what the other kids parents are doing!

[Jenn]

Should someone so wealthy their income will prevent their child from getting much (or any) financial aid, care? In my case we would have to budget about another 50% of the $million we hope to have for retirement in order to be able to send our two, should they want and be accepted, to my expensive alma mater (where I paid only 20% or $4K/yr including my loans of the cost- $20K/yr back then- as the child of an improvident math prof). Since I already have kids, what planning can be done? My true gripe is how expensive college is getting- how dare they charge Lotus car prices for a decent auto to me (and my kid because of my savings) because I saved a lot of money but would give it to me at Hyundai prices were I as improvident as my parents. (And that my retirement savings doesn't count as retirement for financial aid purposes since I had to do my own.) May opt to bribe our kids to go to a place where if their grades and scores are high enough to go Ivy league, they'd get a merit scholarship. And if not the colleges they get into will fit our budget- ie under $200K for both of them. NOT going to ask them to go military/get married/reproduce /postpone college for long enough to not count our income for financial aid.

Anyway my parents helped me a tiny bit but their relative poverty, a job benefit of Dad's, and a merit scholarship got me $70K worth of college paid for. And Army paid for $100K med school.

[longrider]

I have a friend here in alabama that has 10 kids, last I talked to to him. He and his wife are putting each of their kids through college. obviously not all at once but still. the first three are in now. All were homeschooled and all do very well in college. one is on a sports scholarship. All are going to a state schools and all will work while in school.

They have learned to live a frugal lifestyle and eat a lot of chicken and balogna. I still dont know how they do it but they do. Oh yes, they borrow no money to do it either-- that was a biggy with them.

So i know it can be done.

My parents never offered and my education was entirely up to me, as was my brothers. later, carney

[KCM]

I think this is a personal issue. If they are able, families should provide for what they feel is best for their children. Few of us can afford $33,000 a year for one child, let alone four!

Funny thing about parents and their children's college. Some parents tend to base their decisions upon their own judgemental experiences, with little to no regard for what is actually in the best interest of their children. Some parents pay for their children's college because that's what friends in their social circle do.

[culpeper]

In theory, I think parents should cover the costs of their children's full-time education. However, it isn't always possible, as I know only too well.

I fully supported my children until the end of high school, matriculation level. That, IMO, is the absolute minimum of a parent's obligations. After that, they put themselves through university. Here in Australia, the government provides interest-free loans for tertiary education, and it doesn't need to be paid back until after qualification and after a certain level of income is achieved. The government also pays an allowance to all full-time students at tertiary level. It's a paltry amount, just enough to keep the students from starving, and the amount increases if the student is 'independent' - ie living away from home.

As a parent, I helped out as much as I possibly could (considering I was on a pension - in itself a subsistence income). If they lived at home, I fed and housed them, and whenever possible I helped with small contributions towards text books and the like.

Both my children had part-time jobs throughout their university training years. It was doing things the hard way, but they have reaped the rewards. I'd have liked to have been able to make things easier for them, but it just wasn't possible. Thankfully, they understood my situation, and have never held it against me.

I started university as an adult. At that time, university education was free. It wasn't easy for me, however, as I was a mother, worked full-time, and was an evening student. It took me 10 years of hard slog that I wouldn't wish on anyone else. Throughout those years, I averaged 3-4 hours sleep per day.

If parents are in a position to be able to support their children by covering all expenses towards education, until the children are fully qualified for a decent job, then they should do it if at all possible. Otherwise, they should do just whatever they are able to do without causing undue hardship to anyone, including themselves. At the same time, I think that some children do benefit from having to do things the hard way - there are those who have everything handed to them on a platter and take so much for granted.