What would your parents or grandparents do?

[Beeman]

Many times when making decisions or reflecting on our lives or the world around us we usually ask ourselves the question, what would our parents or grandparents do?
How many things in your life contradict what they would have done in the same situation? One of the first things that comes to mind is money. What would they say about putting money in the stock market? What would they do with credit cards? Would they buy a vehicle on credit that cost more than their house?

[beorning]

If I used my parents as an example to follow, I could have my choice between declaring bankruptcy and working the night shift in a convenience store while trying to rebuild a house that i accidentally burned down despite having no construction skills whatsoever.

-or-

I could be managing a motel 6, also having declared bankruptcy after spending the last four years living with my kid and her husband and being such a royal pain in the keister that I was asked to leave at the three year mark then proceeded to "poor me" the situation for another year until I was basically thrown out.


My parents serve as shining examples of what not to do with ones life. At 34, I'm doing better than they ever did, despite being a high school drop out and frittering away the first decade of my adult life on frivolous pursuits. I'm not stellar, the path is long from here, but it just goes to show you how bad off my parents are.

Luckily, I was left to fend for myself in regards to managing my finances and was smart enough to not make foolish decisions early on. My father and I share the same name and I'm still perpetually having to straighten out my credit report when something shows up that is obviously his. It wouldn't shock me if he was using my SSN on occasion. He certainly can't get any credit on his own.

[Muskrat]

Our grandparents are exactly the ones that put money into the Stock Market before the big crash. That's why they had different attitudes; they learned by major failure. They didn't inherently have conservative attitudes.

Check out the history of America. It's the story of speculation and crapshoots. The Gold and Silver Rushes to Georgia, California, Nevada, Colorado, and Alaska weren't the acts of play-it-safe. Immigration was the ultimate gamble. The only difference now is that we whine and expect someone to bail us out when we gamble and lose.

[George in NH]

My great grandparents, grandparents and parents always said to save for a rainy day. I wish I had followed their advice years ago! My great grandparents and grandparents didn't buy on credit, they always saved and bought with cash. My own parents used to be the same way until recently. My parents do pay off credit cards when they get the bill.

I didn't really notice a shift in my parents until their kids had moved away from home. While we were home they always had money stashed away and nothing was bought on credit. If we got a new car it was because my parent's had saved specifically for a new car.

My great grandparents, grandparents and parents always relied on growing their own livestock and vegetables for food. They all spent many hours in the kitchen canning. We knew what wild herbs were and where to get them (I don't even remember the wild herbs or where to get them anymore). Many hours were spent cutting wood for the winter. All my relatives before me knew how to take care of themselves. I remember a lot of their ways and I am pretty sure that if I had to make due without money that I could look back and remember how they did it.

I did watch things change with each generation though. My great grandparents kept busy almost every waking hour. They were always preparing for the next day, week, month and year. My grandparents focused more on the next week and month, my parents focused more on the next day or week and now their kids seem to focus on getting through each day.

I am lucky, I have money set aside and I make a good salary. Some of my siblings aren't so lucky. They spend their entire lives struggling. I made a choice in my late teens that my life wasn't going to be as hard as my parents so I moved away from my comfort zone and worked very hard and dared to take risk to get to where I am today. Sure there are still things I'd like to do but the things I would like to do become less important as I get older. The older I get the more I find myself wanting to go back to simpler times when a person put in a good days wok filling the pantry, keeping the house in good shape and warm.

I have always felt that I should have been born during my great grandparent's time. They lived how I want to live and they seemed a whole lot less stressed. It seems that today we spend too much time worrying about paying the bills that we've accumulated for items that we don't need. Our ancestors bought only items they needed. Their material items helped put food on the table and keep a roof over their head. They didn't have three and four vehicles. They didn't have a TV in every room and they didn't have gadgets that were useless. They spent their money wisely and they saved for a rainy day.

[mowrey1999]

As far as the question of what if , My grandparents or parents wouldn,t buy 100-200 dollar tennis shoes or any clothing for there kids just because it was what everyone else was wearing, They wouldnt buy a plasma TV, or a LED TV just because the picture was a little better, They didn,t buy but 1 christmas present for there kids and still even today would only buy 1 gift and it would probably be under 20.00 dollars ,since they felt a christmas gift or birthday gift was something you could use like clothing ,and felt the value shouldnt matter but the thought , A lot of the things I remember was how they didnt really value material things like people do know, I am sure they wouldn,t do any thing different and would be very depressed in what they would see today and how families now give there kids everything and are raising kids that say things back to there parents and have no respect for the parents or any one around them, I dont try to contradict what I saw from parents or grandparents but continue to take what i saw as good advise, and just live within your means like they did,

[Beeman]

Originally Posted by Muskrat

Our grandparents are exactly the ones that put money into the Stock Market before the big crash. That's why they had different attitudes; they learned by major failure. They didn't inherently have conservative attitudes.

Check out the history of America. It's the story of speculation and crapshoots. The Gold and Silver Rushes to Georgia, California, Nevada, Colorado, and Alaska weren't the acts of play-it-safe. Immigration was the ultimate gamble. The only difference now is that we whine and expect someone to bail us out when we gamble and lose.

My grandparents couldn't have told you what the stock market was. I guess I wasn't thinking of people who's parents and grandparents had money.

[Wayne02]

My parents and grandparents...

- Invest money in the stock market = yes
- Invest money in real estate = resounding and mandatory yes
- Use of credit cards = no
- Buy a car with financing - no
- Live beyond their financial means = no


Things they did that are somewhat against what I have done:

Be more frugal and save more than I have = yes, but I'm not that far off

Be more aggressive in business ownership than I have = yes

Use business ownership/operation and real estate as the primary means of building wealth vs. working for the man for many years like I have = yes (although I have changed that 7 years ago)

[Muskrat]

Originally Posted by Beeman

My grandparents couldn't have told you what the stock market was. I guess I wasn't thinking of people who's parents and grandparents had money.

My grandmother was working as the hired girl at a boarding house in the southwestern Virginia coalfields when she bought her first share of stock. She overheard two railroad managers discussing a stock buy while she was scrubbing the porch and she followed their lead. We've always accused her of induging in insider training.

We tend to romanticize a very hard time, to assume that what was done out of necessity was done out of virtue. Look at any old photographs. Women were middle-aged at thirty, old at forty. An ear infection was a life-threatening illness. One-third of the men who tried to enlist after Pearl Harbor were refused because of physical debilities resulting from deprivations of the Depression. Not one woman I've ever known who had to wash coal dust-impregnated clothing on a washboard ever refused a powered washing machine.

On another thread didn't we talk of eight families joining at one farm during the Depression? Maybe everyone was very happy. I wonder how the owners of the farm felt to be obligated to take in all those people. I'm sure it was done with the love of family and with Christian charity, but nobody on here can convince me that they would have liked to participate in the adventure.

[Queen Bee]

My parents had lots of money. They spent money on impressing others. They always had the best car,house, furinture, car, yard, clothes and made no 'bones' about tell everyone else how 'sorry' their stuff was--they made fun of me/my siblings for have 'broken' down cars, houses w/ wood heat, old clothes, broken down lawn mowers etc. My dad once told his neighbor that his car was a pc. of trash (not the word but I'll get the boot if I say the real word). Mom once told my sister-that she was unfit because she had wood heat only. ..They were two of the most miserable people I have ever know....No, I do not follow their 'rules' thank the good Lord.. One set of gp were rich and threw it in everyone's face all the time...Other grandparents didn't have two pennys to their name -happy as can be...

We do our own thing-make are own mistakes... I am happy to say--we will never be rich but we have more than enough.

[sgl42]

only knew my maternal grandfather, as the others died before i was born. all my grandparents were highly educated.

my grandfather and his wife and 6 kids survived the depression because he worked for a diary company, making sure the sterilization/pasturization/sanitation procedures were followed. but he remained frugal his entire life. if a shoelace broke, he'd tie a knot in it to fix it. when it broke too many times to fix, he'd get a new shoelace, but store the old one away in case. a real packrat, and cleaning his condo after his death was a huge chore!

in the early 1970s, he did invest in the stock market, and did quite well. even purchased telephonos de mexico back then, when foreign investing was extremely rare.

extremely distrustful of gov't. after the mint took the silver out of coins, sold us grandkids his real silver coins, and made us promise to never sell them outside the family.

my parents were also pretty frugal.

i pretty much follow in the same footsteps -- appreciate education, frugal, somewhat of a packrat.
--sgl

[culpeper]

I think the greatest lesson we have to learn from our parents and grandparents is never to take anything for granted! When you've been in a position where you don't know when you're going to get your next meal, when you've had to rely on hand-me-downs to keep warm, when if you got sick you either died or you got better without the benefit of medical intervention, when you've had to work hard for everything you've got - then you don't easily accept the throwaway mentality of modern society.

I've inherited much of the thriftiness of my forebears. I'm a waste-not/want not sort of person who believes firmly that if I don't have the ready cash, then I can't afford to spend it! I do not have a credit card, and am better off for it. I don't have a lot, but I appreciate what I have because I've had to battle for it.

[EDDIE BUCK]

Doing without now in order to save for a sizable amount in your senior years sounds good, but most people either dont live long enough to enjoy spending it or they have become so hungup on saving that they never want to part with a dime.This is one problem I will never have.Saving for a rainy is ok, but around my place we have tooo many rainy days.

[Sgt.Sausage]

==>Doing without now in order to save for a sizable amount in your senior years sounds good, but most people either dont live long enough to enjoy spending it or they have become so hungup on saving that they never want to part with a dime.

Come on back in another 30 or 40 years and let us know how that works out for ya. Betcha wish you'd put a little more back. Statistically speaking, most folks *do* live long enough into their senior years to regret not saving more. Make hay while the sun shines, 'cause some day it ain't gonna be shinin' so strong.

[Spinner]

It's spooky how much my life mirrors my parents when they were my age. I live in an area that time forgot. The bank owns my house for a few more months, but my car was a used one paid for with cash. What little money I have is in a mason jar stashed in a safe place. I don't have any credit cards, but I've been thinking of getting one in case I would need it in an emergency. If I do that, I'll pay it off every month like I did back when I did have credit cards. I don't have much, but what I have is mine (including the farm in a few months.

[Jan Doling]

My parents never steered me wrong....they were not arrogant, but rather very well read. My grandma never let grandpa get a mortgage on the house. Owning outright was part of their investment plan.

I wish I were as frugal and clever at jury-rigging as they were. Grandma could make a dress look like something from Paris without spending much money and could stretch food from the garden to feed an army within half and hour of them showing up unexpectedly!

My parents made everything an adventure and taught me to think things through. I need to remember more what they taught me and think less about what others might think about me.