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11/21/06, 01:10 PM
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: Zone 9b, Lake Harney, Central FL
Posts: 4,898
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Redneck qualifications
There was a wonderful photo of Redneck Overalls with this but I cannot get it to cut & paste. If any of you have it handy, feel free to post it!
Yes, the new one is out! The brand new edition of You
know you're a redneck when...
1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.
3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.
5. You think "The Nutcracker" is what you do off the high dive.
6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.
7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they
don't want it.
8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.
10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
12.. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.
14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.
16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
17. You have a rag for a gas cap.
18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
19. You wonder how gas stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.
20. You can spit without opening your mouth.
21. You consider your license plate personalized because your
father made it.
22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say
"Cool Whip" on the side.
24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.
25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.
26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.
27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth
of improvements.
28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.
29. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on
jury duty.
30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.
Last edited by Jan Doling; 11/21/06 at 01:16 PM.
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11/21/06, 02:56 PM
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Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 3,850
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Jan Doling
There was a wonderful photo of Redneck Overalls with this but I cannot get it to cut & paste. If any of you have it handy, feel free to post it!
Yes, the new one is out! The brand new edition of You
know you're a redneck when...
1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.
3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.
5. You think "The Nutcracker" is what you do off the high dive.
6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.
7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they
don't want it.
8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.
10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
12.. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.
14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.
16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
17. You have a rag for a gas cap.
18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
19. You wonder how gas stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.
20. You can spit without opening your mouth.
21. You consider your license plate personalized because your
father made it.
22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say
"Cool Whip" on the side.
24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.
25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.
26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.
27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth
of improvements.
28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.
29. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on
jury duty.
30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.
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This pi-ses me off-----------You been following me and spying on me hadn't you?? LOL-------I Kinda feel Like that Cave Man on TV now--You know---so easy a Cave Man can do It!! I Guess if The "Shoe(I got from the dumpster)" fits Wear It-----LOL--------------Proud to Be a REDNECK!!! LOL. Randy
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11/21/06, 03:08 PM
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Banned
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Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: TN
Posts: 1,104
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How bout if you shoot yer dinner off the back porch?
We're covered up with chickens here - the only way to catch them is shoot them. I know our neighbors think we've absolutely lost our minds!
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11/21/06, 03:13 PM
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Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 3,850
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Paula
How bout if you shoot yer dinner off the back porch?
We're covered up with chickens here - the only way to catch them is shoot them. I know our neighbors think we've absolutely lost our minds!
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What you talking about------Shoot my neighbor just grabs one of them chickens right off the kitchen table and wrings its neck---skins it in the bath tub. Then hollers at his kids---telling them to get them feathers out the tub befor sat night---so he can take a bath!! Guess we could say he is a Redneck????. LOL!! Randy
Last edited by Fire-Man; 11/21/06 at 03:16 PM.
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11/21/06, 03:16 PM
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 19,807
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Jan Doling
There was a wonderful photo of Redneck Overalls with this but I cannot get it to cut & paste. If any of you have it handy, feel free to post it!
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Oh, Jan, I was going to help you out on the pic, but then I saw it... NOT for the faint of heart!!!
Eeewwwww!
Those who can't go the day without seeing it can look here:
http://www.seeitornot.faketrix.com/f...-coveralls.htm
But don't say you weren't warned!
Pony!
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11/21/06, 03:20 PM
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Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 3,850
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Pony
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You should pat the man on the back--------Looks like he is doing his part of Recycling------Modifying a skinner mans overalls so He can wear them. LOL. Randy
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11/21/06, 03:24 PM
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Incubator Addict
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Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Greensburg, PA
Posts: 3,111
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Pony your warning wasn't strong enough. And the computer froze up for a second when the picture loaded - twice as cruel cause I couldn't get rid of it. (That's the computer's fault though.)
Jan Doling- you posted the upscale list, I've seen worse examples in person! They probably wouldn't be appropriate here though....
Kayleigh
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11/21/06, 03:35 PM
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Shenanadoah Valley - Virginia
Posts: 639
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Thanks Pony - took me 5 full minutes to regain my vision so I could respond.....
And Jan, I'm not going to admit to how many of those I read and said "I don't get it. That's not normal?????" Guess we're redneck's here..... and I'm still confused - who can't be intertained for 5 minutes with a fly swatter 
Penny
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11/21/06, 04:02 PM
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Happy Valley, Alaska
Posts: 1,138
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..going to the bathroom at night involves rubber boots and a flashlight.
..you know which leaves make good toilet paper.
..you only own four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.
..you think sexy lingerie is fleece socks and a flannel nightie with only 8 buttons.
..you know a honey bucket is really a bucket, but it's not really full of honey.
..you can see the road through the floorboard of your pickup truck.
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11/21/06, 04:24 PM
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Washington
Posts: 2,832
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Quote:
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16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
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You mean, everybody don't know this?
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11/21/06, 04:58 PM
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Is anybody here?
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Posts: 3,340
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__________________
Marriage is like a hot bath, after you've been in it awhile, It's not so Hot.
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11/21/06, 05:19 PM
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Banned
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: S.E. Ks.
Posts: 5,942
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Well shucks Ive found a car while mowing the grass before .
Got my truck stuck at my own wedding reception (mudding the tux will never be the same) Burnt the lawn off many times . Heck our drive way is paved with Dr pepper cans  , there are currently 12 dead mowers in the front yard along with around 400 fireworks tubes and racks.
for fathersday my wife got me a allischalmers wd tractor .
In addition to some 14 vehicals there are also two 12x60 trailor houses in the pasture . Granted Im not guilty of collecting it all Im just charged with getting rid of it . Our pasture looks like arkansas was sucked up in a twister and dropped in our yard .
we do have a pink piggy propane tank that is our doing as well as a two holer open out house planter 
Guess the fact that our mini is charged with mowing the front yard qualifies us as rednecks as well , though we dont have any car up on blocks 
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11/21/06, 05:54 PM
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: NJ
Posts: 1,096
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Here's a redneck girlfriend for ya :
Ken in Glassboro, NJ
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11/21/06, 05:58 PM
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: NJ
Posts: 1,096
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For those who didn't look at the link, here's that redneck hunk in his coveralls:
Note the fine designer label that he is wearing and how his fashion choices accent his body shape and appearance!!!
Ken in Glassboro, NJ
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11/21/06, 06:30 PM
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Washington
Posts: 2,832
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Aaaargh! My eyes!!!
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11/21/06, 07:14 PM
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Pook's Hollow
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Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 4,570
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Quote:
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16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
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Just one. . . but I can get about six sacks of feed in it - or a full-grown Saanen goat.  I can also get 8 foot planks in it and still close the trunk. Last thing that came home in the back seat was a pair of ducks (in a carrier!).
Let's see - in our yard we've got one rusted-out Bronco (that's ours), one rusted-out Ford pickup (that belongs to the former owner - he hasn't taken it away yet), two Mercedes up on blocks (we've got classy junkers), many rusty lawnmowers, a roofing stand that's kinda bent and twisted where the willow landed on it, miscellaneous rolls of chainlink fencing (goat pens!) and the posts for them, several piles of used lumber - and we only moved here in March.
Quote:
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1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
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I can't use the tree - but I have been known to duck behind the Bronco on occasion.
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11/21/06, 07:21 PM
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Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Southeast
Posts: 2,492
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That guy looks like he could go into labor at any second....
I am guilty of #25, above, about once having my working t.v. sitting on top of my non-working t.v.....
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11/21/06, 08:25 PM
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: NW PA
Posts: 484
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When my sister told me # 16 about how many bales of hay your car can hold I thought she just made it up to tease me! When I was a teenager I used to haul feed, hay and on occasion a holstein calf in my car! I do own a truck now. 
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11/21/06, 09:04 PM
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Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Indiana
Posts: 989
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----If you have an Associates Degree in "Construction Technology"...
----when there's a small fire in your car and you call 1 relative and 30 of them show up...
----you schedule family reunions around times when you need help cutting down trees and hanging siding....
----if your 7 yr old dd's favorite pictures to draw in art class in school involve deer stands...
----if your 5 yr old can identify and explain the purpose of every farm machine ever made...
----deer processing is considered quality family time...
All true, I swear!
Last edited by almostthere; 11/21/06 at 09:47 PM.
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11/21/06, 09:12 PM
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Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 660
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#6--yes, they have refused grandma's old couch
#13--only 2 bales, but it will hold 3 sheep!
#16--no flea shampoo, but there is a bottle of skunk scent remover in there (for the dog)
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