Just what does "BACKWARDS" mean??

[mtn_gin]

I know I have not posted to much but I am just got some aggravating news. We live in a little community (same one all our lives) we have one little old store. I am a volunteer 4-H leader, I homeschool my girls and we live on a farm, we milk a cow, goats, the girls raise animals, can hunt & fish but today we were told that an unnamed person(s) said that my girls ( 14 & 12) were "backwards" and that they should be in public school. Just because we try to grow & raise our own foods and we don't wear fancy clothes does that make us stupid. I just got upset that someone is talking about my kids I guess I shouldn't let it bother me so much.

[Alice In TX/MO]

We had a family with similar values in the community where I taught. They didn't keep up with all the current TV shows and music and trends. They were wonderful children, but very misunderstood by their peers and many adults.

I think 'backwards' means old fashioned in this case. Take it as a compliment, considering that being current in today's society is not something that you see as worthy.

[EasyDay]

Don't let it bother you.
And you came to the right place here at HT. If what you describe is "backwards", many of us voluntarily live backwards. And guess who will fare better when S**t hits the fan?

Take comfort in knowing that you're doing what you feel good and right about doing. Sometimes, other peoples opinions just don't matter, you know?

People who talk trash about others usually have issues of their own that they are having problems coping with... so they appease themselves by finding someone they hope is "worse off" than they are.

[scaryguyoy]

We homeschool also .I think your just going to get that.To me backwards means socially odd.Perhaps your kids arent wearing the latest pants hanging so low the underwear are showing fashions.we keep our kids involved in a few homeschool network activities,do you have something like that around you?Are your kids shy around strangers.i dont know about you but i really dont want my children to act like a lot of the kids runing the streets in my area anyway
scary

[myheaven]

I was told but 99% of the people who meet me im bassackwards!!! which I guess it far worse than backwards. I could care less of tv and what is fashon. Even tho Im bassackwards they all respect and like me and prefer I watch their kids when need arises.
Try to take it as a compliment.

[coalroadcabin]

I know when you're a mom it's maddening to hear anything remotely negative about your children but in this case I would take it as a compliment. The 'with it' kids of today are the ones in danger of teen pregnancy, drug use, alcohol abuse and all sorts of other awful behavior.

[MaineFarmMom]

Unnamed people don't count!

[mtn_gin]

I guess I didn't look at it that way. I am proud of the way we live. I love living off the land as much as possible. Also I want my kids to be able to take care of themselves and not depend on gov. help or living off someone else. They have so much common sense for their age and I thank god for that. Both my girls can go out and milk the cows if something happens that I cannot. So I guess I am proud to be backwards, since I calmed down a little bit

[Ozarkguy]

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[Fire-Man]

Is it possible that this person said-----Backwoods instead of Backwards. Backwoods here means from the Back----Woods--Not up to date. Shoot they call me swampman because I live beside a Swampy area. Its OK----"What People Say about Me is not any of my Business anyway" And I really don't care, but Talking/hurting my Kids feelings does get this Swampman p-s-ed(PO). Randy

[ozark_jewels]

Hey, I figure, from a "normal" person these days....."backwards" is a complement. Yes, and proud to be "backward"!!

[heather]

I'd rather be BACKWARD than FORWARD

But I'm wondering about the people who TOLD you that so&so said such&such -
didn't they know it would hurt your feelings......that's something I would have kept to myself......I think that was kind of rude - what was the point of telling you?

[Gercarson]

Originally Posted by Ozarkguy

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gotta love those hills.....

Ozarkguy




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Absolutely love your site!

[boonieman]

I grew up with the understanding that "backwards" means shy. Thus the suggestion for them to be around more people. Might not have been the insult you think it was. I would ask what they meant.

[boonieman]

For example, here's the term used in the context I was thinking of. It's just a small portion from an article about building children's self confidence, but you'll get the idea.

[Quote]

Name: another just looking
Country: USA
Comment:
This information was very helpful but a little late. I wish I could a have received this information while I was pregnant so I would be able to know how and to do these steps in building my childrens confidence. I have two kids and my oldest is a boy. I always felt compelled to keep him close to me and protect him from other childrens harsh comments or any kid not wanting to share or give my son a turn. He is very shy and backwards. He is in school now and is doing great in his school work, but still says many times "I CAN'T". This may be something he only does with me because the teachers say he is a wonderful student and never gives up and is always is trying. My daughter on the other hand is very out going but a little slow on learning. I'm not as worried with my daughter because I know that there is tutoring that can help her academics, but I am scared that it is too late for building my sons confidence. (I have a low self confidence and self esteem also) Did my son get this from watching me and seeing me back away from situations?
[UNQUOTE]

[Horselover]

Originally Posted by boonieman

I grew up with the understanding that "backwards" means shy. Thus the suggestion for them to be around more people. Might not have been the insult you think it was. I would ask what they meant.

That is what I always thought too! Actually my mom used to say that I was backward whenever somebody came around and I would not say anything.

Just remember what kids say" Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt them".

[Ozarkguy]

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Welllllll...... the way I look at it is pretty true country.....mind your own business. I don't care what their intentions "might have been" it's none of their business.

Brings to mind a saying I use when folks start gossipping to me about whoever. I just reply with "lotta weather we've been having lately".

In other words, it's just none of my business (or theirs) so I don't wish to discuss it.




Gercarson - thank you. I'm glad you like it. Like I tell folks.... it's my way of "giving back" to those who have helped me learn the homesteading way of life and how to get 'back to nature" if you will.


If all of us - whatever we learn along the way - pay those folks back that taught us, by passing that knowledge of our unique lifestyle along to others - we can keep this wonderful way of life alive!




gotta love those hills.....

Ozarkguy




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[Bluegirl]

I took it to mean lacking in social graces.

[suburbanite]

To me it means technologically ignorant.

[MorrisonCorner]

I think, given the various interpretations everyone has put on the word "backwards" that when you hear something like this, particularly about your children, you should take a moment to pause and seriously consider what the other person might have meant by that comment... and whether or not it is something you should take seriously.

If "backwards" means "lacking in social graces and confidence" then there are things you can do to help your child learn social mores and confidence. Unless your child is being raised in a very large, utterly insulated (think "Amish") community they will, someday, need to interact with the rest of society. Coming off as "weird" is not doing your child any favors.

If "backwards" means lacking in technical skills you seriously need to pause and consider one Rule of Parenting: You must prepare your child for the world they will live in, not the world you (or your grandparents) grew up in. This means your child needs to be technically adept. If you don't own a computer then you need to find ways of having your child learn computer (and typing) skills. If you don't own a flush toilet then it is incumbent upon you to teach your child how to use one so they aren't placed in a humiliating situation. It isn't "cute" if a child doesn't know how to function around indoor plumbing... and it sure isn't doing your kid any favors.

If "backwards" means "lacking in modern style and dress," ugg. I think every blessed person on this board is probably guilty as charged! I have to go to a business conference next month, and due to illness absolutely nothing I own fits properly... so I went shopping.

Surprise! Rural stores do not stock "Modern Business Power Suits." Oookay. So I drove to the Big City. Which, since we're talking "Burlington VT" ain't so big, but it is what we've got. Guess what? Two, in the entire city, TWO size 2 suit jackets to choose from... both in double knit poly with a designer label on them, so $198 each.

I'm still in jeans and now officially moving into panic mode.

However, it may well be that your children grow up and decide they find banking fascinating and want to be a mortgage broker. It wouldn't kill you to expose them to a few fashion magazines and talk about what "works" and what doesn't. Just as it you'd expose them to different career options, talk about college, etc, so they'll have at least a passing comfort level with other ways of dressing, thinking, and doing.

"Backwards" is, contrary to the reaction here, rarely a compliment. Someone is seeing something in your kids that they think will hold them back as they mature. It is hard to step back from your kids, squint, and think "now, what might that be..." but a well rounded kid knows how to feed the stock, cook breakfast, AND knows something about popular culture, technology, and has the confidence to move back and forth between both worlds smoothly and easily.