How to warm up one's cold feet?

Arkander · #1 07/23/06, 01:55 PM

My wife and I are less that 3 weeks away from
closing on our first Homestead.

80 fenced pasture acres in south-central Kansas,
with a decent house, barn, well, etc.

It has most of what we were looking for in a place,
except for lots of trees, and surface water in the
form of streams or ponds.

It was also in the right price range.

My intellect says this move is Right.

My heart says this move is Right.

My gut isn't so complacent....

I can't shake the nagging feeling that we might
be making a serious mistake, and I can't put my
finger on why....

I have no intention of backing out of this. If the
deal *can* go through, it will. But it is all I can
think about lately, and I haven't slept too well
since I inked the contract.

Kinda getting on my nerves.

Did any of you have this problem?

How did you overcome it?

donsgal · #2 07/23/06, 02:06 PM

It's called "buyers remorse" and everybody has it at one time or another. It's totally normal - I think a physiological reaction to ones natural resistance to change.

If you know in your head that it's right, just ignore those nagging feelings of doubt.

donsgal

Arkander · #3 07/23/06, 02:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by donsgal

It's called "buyers remorse" and everybody has it at one time or another.
donsgal

I have bought and sold properties several times
before, and never felt this way....

Quote:

Originally Posted by donsgal

If you know in your head that it's right, just ignore those nagging feelings of doubt.

That's the plan. But I would sure like to get at least
one good night's sleep between now and closing.

KindredSpirit · #4 07/23/06, 02:33 PM

You may already know what the nagging feeling is. I think finances are the main reason people get cold feet when buying a house. Is the house in your budget or will you be just getting by? Is it close enough to work and school or are you looking at huge transportation expenses such as car repair, gasoline, routine maintenance. Do you have a savings account for unforseen events? Is it enough? I think one of the most dangerous things financially that someone can do is buy more house than they can afford. I am in real estate and have seen a lot of foreclosures in the last few years. I think people think they can afford the house if everything goes smoothly. It is the "if" part that gets you.

If none of the above issues are of concern then maybe it is just nerves over whether the sale will go through. I know they say buying a house is one of the most stressful things you can do.

Reading your post above, I see you know all about the finance part of it, having owned other property. Have you had this property inspected by an independent contractor? That may be in order, as what you describe as "nagging feeling" sounds like intuition to me. Good luck and keep us posted!

mayfair · #5 07/23/06, 02:34 PM

Well, one's gut has wisdom. Can you take a closer look at the "gut situation" with your clear and rational mind and try to pinpoint what your gut is telling you? Our bodies have wisdom-- don't force through but ask, "what is the message here?"

Arkander · #6 07/23/06, 02:48 PM

KindredSpirit:

The place is 3 miles from blacktop and the nearest
(tiny) town. It is 15 miles from the nearest Town,
which is where the schools, hospital, etc are.

Services aren't an issue.

Finances are in hand. They are a small concern,
but we are in a position that even if we are both
unemployed, we will "get by".

My job is "portable"; I work over the 'Net, and DSL
is available there. The previous owner had it.

Everything adds up, but something is just nagging
me that I can't finger.

Thanks for the Thinking Points, though.

FourDeuce · #7 07/23/06, 02:58 PM

Have you checked everything on the deal? There's a very good book called How to Find and Buy Property in the Country, by Les Scher. It covers the deal, from looking for real estate all the way through closing on it. It even includes some sample contracts. I haven't seen anything to do with buying property that isn't covered in there.
Have you spent time on the property at different times of the year, or at least time in the area? That's one good way to find out if there are problems that you missed when you looked at the property. If you went to look at it during one time of the year there might be a problem that wasn't obvious then, but which might show up at some other time. Here in the Ozarks, for example, having a chicken farm next door isn't a problem during the winter, but during the summer they can bring tears to your eyes if it gets hot and the chickens start dying.

The best way to fix cold feet is to keep them covered by knowing you've got everything covered.

agmantoo · #8 07/23/06, 03:11 PM

There are no risks buying property when you know that it can be resold for the purchase price or more. Can it meet that criteria? If so, why concern yourself?

froggirl · #9 07/23/06, 03:24 PM

If I were you, this is what I'd do: go back to square one and pretend you haven't made a commitment yet...how does that make your gut feel? Are you relieved?

Second thing I'd do is make a 2 column list with pros on one side and cons on the other...that really helped us when we had to make a decision a couple weeks ago. It will be helpful to see what things stick out on your lists.

Final thought: we have these feelings for a reason. Unless you're currently experiencing a bad case of gas, I would sit down and examine what your intuition is trying to tell you and not just brush it off as buyer's remorse...it could be a case of buyer's remorse but it might not.

Best of luck!

--f.g.

KindredSpirit · #10 07/23/06, 03:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Arkander

KindredSpirit:

The place is 3 miles from blacktop and the nearest
(tiny) town. It is 15 miles from the nearest Town,
which is where the schools, hospital, etc are.

Services aren't an issue.

Finances are in hand. They are a small concern,
but we are in a position that even if we are both
unemployed, we will "get by".

My job is "portable"; I work over the 'Net, and DSL
is available there. The previous owner had it.

Everything adds up, but something is just nagging
me that I can't finger.

Thanks for the Thinking Points, though.

Sounds like your bases are covered! Did you have an independent home inspector check the property out so you have no surprises? If so, I think it must be intuition or nerves. You said you have bought several properties and not had that feeling. I'd do another walk through and see if you can jar that nagging thought loose. Maybe you will see something your subconscious picked up on during the other walk throughs.

JAK · #11 07/23/06, 03:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Arkander

KindredSpirit:

The place is 3 miles from blacktop and the nearest
(tiny) town. It is 15 miles from the nearest Town,
which is where the schools, hospital, etc are.

Services aren't an issue.

Finances are in hand. They are a small concern,
but we are in a position that even if we are both
unemployed, we will "get by".

My job is "portable"; I work over the 'Net, and DSL
is available there. The previous owner had it.

Everything adds up, but something is just nagging
me that I can't finger.

Thanks for the Thinking Points, though.

You did say it was your first homestead even though you had bought and sold properties before.
So perhaps you want to think some more about why this one is different.
Perhaps this is a longer term commitment than other properties.
Perhaps it's not the property some lifestyle change that goes with it.
What have you given up? Are you closing any doors to open this one?

Maybe you just need a dog.

**Terri** · #12 07/23/06, 03:36 PM

You accept it, and you be gratefull of how cautious it makes you during a major life change.

You do not want to walk down a city street without being cautious, you do not climb on the roof without being cautious, and you do not make a major liestyle change without being cautious.

You'll be fine.

susieM · #13 07/23/06, 04:14 PM

Oh! THOSE kind of cold feet! I came in ready with ideas for socks, soup, poridge, and bowls of hot water. Never mind.

Although I did know of one lady that signed for a house and then promplty went into the doctor's office and told him that she was in love with him. They started a relationship which lasted just until escrow was finished, and then she went back to live in her newly-bought house with her husband and kids. Now, as I told her at the time...THAT'S that worst case of buyer's remorse, ever.

Arkander · #14 07/23/06, 04:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by agmantoo

There are no risks buying property when you know that it can be resold for the purchase price or more. Can it meet that criteria? If so, why concern yourself?

That is a possible concern, actually.

This piece has been on the market for about eight
months now, with 4 previous deals on it falling
through for one reason or another.

Thing is, the asking price is more than fair. I am
getting the full 80 acres for essentially the price
of the house and outbuildings on 10 acres.

My mortgage broker told me that we could have
taken a mortgage on just the 10+house and got
the other 70 for free.

We didn't go that route because the survey to get
that done would have upped the closing costs just
that much more, and we are planning to have it
paid off in about two years anyway.

We are coming in with at least 54% down....

But I keep wondering why the previous deals fell
through, and why it was for sale for so long.

One possible thing was the mineral rights. The
seller thought to keep them. My offer included
them, or no deal. She folded on that point.

So, I am thinking that I COULD in fact sell out for
more that I will have in it, but I am not so sure I
could do that on a deadline.

Arkander · #15 07/23/06, 04:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KindredSpirit

Sounds like your bases are covered! Did you have an independent home inspector check the property out so you have no surprises?

No, I did not. This is an "as is" deal.

I did look at the place myself, though. The Realtor
let us drive the fence line and wander the property
for about 2 hours.

There are a couple gotchas that I will have to fix
myself, but none of them will run more than $250
each, and more than a few weekends of my time.

And a BUNCH of cleanup, taking MANY weekends.

Some scrap lumber here, some scrap iron there, a
trash pile somewhere else, a car to be hauled off....

Arkander · #16 07/23/06, 04:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JAK

You did say it was your first homestead even though you had bought and sold properties before.

Yup. That it is, and that I did.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JAK

Perhaps it's not the property some lifestyle change that goes with it.

You know, that just might be it....

Anxiety over Perception vs. Reality.

Until I signed the contract, rural life was mostly
Perception. Now, thinking about the Reality....

Quote:

Originally Posted by JAK

Maybe you just need a dog.

Got one already. A wiley old fart who doesn't much
care for strangers. Will be a decent farm dog.

KindredSpirit · #17 07/23/06, 05:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Arkander

No, I did not. This is an "as is" deal.

I did look at the place myself, though. The Realtor
let us drive the fence line and wander the property
for about 2 hours.

There are a couple gotchas that I will have to fix
myself, but none of them will run more than $250
each, and more than a few weekends of my time.

And a BUNCH of cleanup, taking MANY weekends.

Some scrap lumber here, some scrap iron there, a
trash pile somewhere else, a car to be hauled off....

Sounds like you've been very thorough. I bet it is just nervous energy. Good luck and keep us posted!!

HilltopDaisy · #18 07/23/06, 05:12 PM

Arkander, is it the piece of property itself? or everything that goes along with moving to it? Are you sorry that you didn't hold out for land with a stream? And trees? You're committed, you're not going to back out, but are you bumming because you said "Yes" even though it's not REALLY what you wanted?

Every piece of land it going to have "issues". Either poor drainage in areas, or too many rocks, or too many coyotes, or not enough whatever. I watched the sale of the land next door fall through several times, strictly because the potential buyers could not get financing ~ nothing to do with the property at all. As a homeowner, you already know that things will probably go wrong with this place the day your moving van pulls up out front. The well or septic will go bad, you're dog will take off (but you'll find him), you'll find a leak that you didn't know was there. Maybe that's it; you KNOW all this!!

KindredSpirit · #19 07/23/06, 10:47 PM

Arkander, I just noticed in your post earlier you said there had been other contracts but they fell through. It could be a possibility those people needed to borrow most of the cost of the house and land which means they had to go with a conventional or FHA loan. I know neither of those types of lenders would pass the property you have described so their loans probably fell through. Lenders are very picky about the septic, plumbing, wiring, general condition of the property. Most "as is" properties probably couldn't get the kind of lending the other contracts would have required. We looked at a similar property around here and could only find a construction loan for it. We passed.

Arkander · #20 07/23/06, 11:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mayfair

Well, one's gut has wisdom. Can you take a closer look at the "gut situation" with your clear and rational mind and try to pinpoint what your gut is telling you? Our bodies have wisdom-- don't force through but ask, "what is the message here?"

Agreed. And this is what's been breaking my
concentration at work, and keeping me awake
at night, this asking....

Quote:

Originally Posted by Terri

You accept it, and you be gratefull of how cautious it makes you during a major life change.

You do not want to walk down a city street without being cautious, you do not climb on the roof without being cautious, and you do not make a major liestyle change without being cautious.

You'll be fine.

Thanks.

To all of you.