We have our farm back ...

[SFM in KY]

Back to ourselves at any rate. Two days since the step-grandson moved and I have to admit that it's nice to have our farm back. Don't have to work around someone else, don't have to wait until step-grandson fixes his first cup of coffee before we start feeding horses, or figure out what to have him do if we decide to take the trash to the burn pile before feeding.

In 2 1/2 years, he never got to the point where you could tell him to "Go check the fence on the pond pasture and fix it if anything is down and turn the mares in to it" and not have to double check. You had to walk/test the fence and make sure all the gates were closed before you put horses in. I guess a lot of it was probably we're just simply too old to deal with the issues of a 20-something kid living here.

It takes us longer to get things done at our age but at least we don't have to go back and check what is supposed to be done to make sure it's done right and working.

Maybe if it gets to that point, we'll just simply have to quit!

[Allen W]

We're heading to an auction looking for a camper for the grandson this summer when he is home doing an internship for school. He done crossed the line with grandma when he was home last weekend.

[SFM in KY]

I knew I was tense about the situation, always running interference between DH and GS trying to keep things reasonably peaceful. DH was the one that was working with him, or trying to, and it was always some issue. Lost/broken tools, friends coming to visit in the middle of the night, etc., but didn't really realize just how much stress it was putting me under until he was actually gone.

[Backfourty,MI.]

So glad you have your farm back, so much better sounds like too.

[Jan in CO]

Happy for you! I know just how you feel. When our dd was here for a few months, it seemed like she was always coming in at hours that woke others up, or wanting to take a shower after everyone had gone to bed. Would come in to eat after everyone else was finished, etc. Just different habits than ours. Now dgd wants to live in the trailer with her bf and eventually their baby. UGH. I know they will not take care of things, they just live like pigs and we don't particularly care for him, either. Still thinking it over, and remembering how gd was when she was a teenager and living here..Just don't want to disrupt Mama's peace and quiet, either.

[SFM in KY]

Originally Posted by Jan in CO

Happy for you! I know just how you feel. When our dd was here for a few months, it seemed like she was always coming in at hours that woke others up, or wanting to take a shower after everyone had gone to bed. Would come in to eat after everyone else was finished, etc. Just different habits than ours.

DH and I have agreed we will never try this again.

I wasn't in favor of the situation to begin with but DH didn't want to say no when his son had specifically asked us to let him live here and try to get his life sorted out. I've rarely known of these family situations to work out well and felt it wouldn't this time either, but didn't feel it was my place to absolutely refuse to do it. Didn't work, went on much longer than we had planned for or agreed on, it was expensive for us.

Now there's bad feeling between DH's son and his wife (step gr-son's mother) and DH because we finally told them alternate arrangements would have to be made ... and why. (Petty theft, among other things). She definitely did not like hearing her 'baby boy' criticized and isn't speaking ... which is actually a good thing as far as I'm concerned but I'm sorry she's used this as a wedge between DH and his son to the extent that they aren't speaking either.

We had the cabin, it was empty and we certainly could have used the help ... but it wasn't much help and we'd have been much better off if we hadn't had to pay his expenses and could have just hired someone for the work we needed done on a per-job cash basis.

So ... over all ... bad feelings between DH and his son, we're out $$ that we'll never get back and there's repair work that needs to be done but we can't do ourselves and we don't have the $$ to hire it done now.

I'm just too old to deal with family drama anymore. I'm done.

[Ardie/WI]

Originally Posted by SFM in KY

DH and I have agreed we will never try this again.

I wasn't in favor of the situation to begin with but DH didn't want to say no when his son had specifically asked us to let him live here and try to get his life sorted out. I've rarely known of these family situations to work out well and felt it wouldn't this time either, but didn't feel it was my place to absolutely refuse to do it. Didn't work, went on much longer than we had planned for or agreed on, it was expensive for us.

Now there's bad feeling between DH's son and his wife (step gr-son's mother) and DH because we finally told them alternate arrangements would have to be made ... and why. (Petty theft, among other things). She definitely did not like hearing her 'baby boy' criticized and isn't speaking ... which is actually a good thing as far as I'm concerned but I'm sorry she's used this as a wedge between DH and his son to the extent that they aren't speaking either.

We had the cabin, it was empty and we certainly could have used the help ... but it wasn't much help and we'd have been much better off if we hadn't had to pay his expenses and could have just hired someone for the work we needed done on a per-job cash basis.

So ... over all ... bad feelings between DH and his son, we're out $$ that we'll never get back and there's repair work that needs to be done but we can't do ourselves and we don't have the $$ to hire it done now.

I'm just too old to deal with family drama anymore. I'm done.

Amen!

[bluemoonluck]

Originally Posted by SFM in KY

DH and I have agreed we will never try this again.

I wasn't in favor of the situation to begin with but DH didn't want to say no when his son had specifically asked us to let him live here and try to get his life sorted out. I've rarely known of these family situations to work out well and felt it wouldn't this time either, but didn't feel it was my place to absolutely refuse to do it. Didn't work, went on much longer than we had planned for or agreed on, it was expensive for us.

Now there's bad feeling between DH's son and his wife (step gr-son's mother) and DH because we finally told them alternate arrangements would have to be made ... and why. (Petty theft, among other things). She definitely did not like hearing her 'baby boy' criticized and isn't speaking ... which is actually a good thing as far as I'm concerned but I'm sorry she's used this as a wedge between DH and his son to the extent that they aren't speaking either.

We had the cabin, it was empty and we certainly could have used the help ... but it wasn't much help and we'd have been much better off if we hadn't had to pay his expenses and could have just hired someone for the work we needed done on a per-job cash basis.

So ... over all ... bad feelings between DH and his son, we're out $$ that we'll never get back and there's repair work that needs to be done but we can't do ourselves and we don't have the $$ to hire it done now.

I'm just too old to deal with family drama anymore. I'm done.

I'm sorry it turned out that way Some people, even when confronted with evidence to the contrary, will never believe that their precious little snowflake could ever be anything less than perfect . I used to get that when I counseled the teenagers - parents would say "I know some kids lie, but my precious little angel would never lie!" Yeah, right

Hopefully your s-GS will get his life together at some point. Y'all gave him an awesome opportunity, and hopefully it had some positive impact on him.

I'm glad you got your place back, too

[SFM in KY]

Originally Posted by bluemoonluck

I'm glad you got your place back, too

The only one on the farm that was really upset to see him gone was Shimmy! Every single morning he came in to get a cup of coffee and every single morning Shimmy barked/growled the whole time he was in the house ...

The last two mornings about the time he usually came in, she's been sitting at the end of the couch watching the door like a hawk and muttering under her breath ... cannot believe she isn't going to have her fun for the morning anymore.

Her life just got a lot more boring!