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Old 10/29/13, 03:07 PM
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Northeastern Oklahoma
Posts: 5,039
Baby Cries While Mom Sings - Cute or Cruel?

I just saw this video on Yahoo. The mother says it's "too cute" to not share with everyone. I find it interesting, as the baby is obviously having an overwhelming emotional reaction to this at such a young age, but find it more heart-wrenching than cute.

It seems to me that, if she knows the baby will have this reaction, why make her go through it again? I don't agree with a lot of the "cute" videos where parents are teasing their kids or making fun of them, and to me this is even worse. Am I wrong, or have I just lost my perspective? I usually think I have a pretty good sense of humor, but to me this just doesn't fall into that category. I was crying too, but for the baby.

(Sorry I can't embed videos any more for some reason) -
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Old 10/29/13, 03:18 PM
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Home
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I had to watch it from your description. I was expecting wailing and crying and the mother to sound horrible or something. Momma's not too bad actually.

My boys love the movie Gnomeo and Juliet. During the film there is a montage of a relationship that starts out good and then ends in separation and the ruin of the house through decay. My middle son reacted to that montage so strongly we had to pause the first time we watched it and hold him and calm him down. Same thing with the love story sequence in Up.

I also used to care for a little boy whose favorite movie to watch was a stage production of the magic flute and he would cry and cry (at 10 months old) in sympathy whenever Papageno was in trouble.

I don't find anything really wrong with this. The child is obviously very sensitive but there is no harm in it. I shed tears caused by music all the time and it's not necessarily from sorrow, sadness, grief or pain-- it's because something is beautiful to me and tears are a natural way for your body to rid itself of an overload of hormones.

This does not seem to me to be the usual, 'let's make fun of the kid for a laugh,' video.
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Old 10/29/13, 07:12 PM
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Location: Desert of So. NV
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callie I had the same reaction you did. If my kid had that hard of a time with it, I would have stopped. I do not feel I would use the word cruel but it obviously upsets the child and why would anyone purposely cause a sweet little one to cry like that?
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Old 10/29/13, 07:13 PM
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Michigan's thumb
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Baby thinks his mom is crying. When she pauses, he smiles again. I would not keep singing to my baby like this.

On another note, my baby would put her hand over my mouth when I was singing. Quite the critic. Now, she's an opera singer.
Nothing is as strong as gentleness, nothing so gentle as real strength - St. Francis de Sales
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Old 10/29/13, 09:48 PM
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Missouri
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I wonder about people like this who exploit their kids online. No, I wouldn't make my baby cry so I could video it and put it out there for everyone to see. Methinks Mom wants everyone to hear her singing voice and maybe get some attention for it.... Poor sad baby. I would never make my baby cry for any reason. If I was singing to my baby and she started crying for whatever reason - I would STOP singing!
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Old 10/29/13, 10:23 PM
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Northeastern Oklahoma
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Okay thanks everyone. I just feel like a parent's job is to protect their children from hurt as much as possible, not deliberately cause it.

I, too, got the feeling that she was doing it for self promotion, but wanted to see if anyone else picked up on that. Poor sweet baby, I just wanted to pick her up and comfort her!

Maura, now that would be cute, offense to you, of course.
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Old 10/30/13, 12:19 AM
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Location: MS
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Nope, could never do that to a child. If one of my babies had cried when I sang I would never sing to them again!

That video just broke my heart.
I'm running so far behind I thought I was first!
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Old 10/30/13, 08:45 AM
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I used to cry as a child whenever my family sang Now Is The Hour with the piano. It didnt hurt me....Im sure the mom doesnt do this all the time...Sheesh.
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Old 10/30/13, 09:14 AM
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I would like to note that it is NOT a parent's job to keep their children from hurt nearly as much as it is to teach them how to cope with the hurt and pain and suffering and unfairness that is in the real world. That assertion actually offended me. Teaching them in a safe environment that the full range of their human emotions are not to something to be feared or ashamed of or shunned also falls into the purview of parent.

It is an amazing thing if the child is reacting to the emotion in it's mother's voice. Did you know there are so called scientists that want to argue that human's are not actually fully realized even at this infant's age? In my book (and yes I do know there are disorders that this could indicate as well) this sort of thing, as I said, I have seen it in more than one child helps to disprove people who want to argue that children under a certain age are less than alive.

She states that the child does not do this with every song she sings, this one is special. Teaching that any emotions are negative is more dangerous and harmful than sharing a video of something you think is interesting or 'cute'.

ETA: I am not actually trying to return the offense I felt reading that statement. I just have a few triggers that really get to me that go back to my own childhood.
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Old 10/30/13, 10:00 AM
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I'm not comfortable watching that little ones expressions.
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Old 10/30/13, 10:05 AM
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When my eldest was about this age, we discovered that any animal noise was fine... Unless it was the sound of a little calf. Yes, I would make that sound sometimes as it was funny and adorable how her little bottom lip would quiver as she watched me closely. Honestly, it was adorable and I'm with those here who've said that it's more of an empathetic response and is beautiful rather than calling to stifle a child's emotion. Should she have posted it online? Why not??? She may, like me and many others, have friends and family that do not live near enough to see her baby often. The really great ones then get shared! I post videos and photos of the sweet, happy, cute, hilarious, sad, Wow-ness of my children for my family and friends all the time. Does that make me a bad mom? *shakes head* Just wow at those condemning this lady 'cause she didn't do something your way. :P
Ah well. My baby girl is now in her early teens. She is more sensitive to stuff right now, so I'm easier on the "teasing". But this is due to hormonal changes she's going through. Hurrah for the teen years.
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Old 10/30/13, 10:05 AM
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When I was little, my mom said I would cry at the drop of a hat. All she'd have to say was, "Oh Katie, I'm sorry" (in a sad voice) and I'd burst into tears. I'm not scarred from it, and I don't think it was cruel.
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Old 10/30/13, 10:19 AM
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Location: North Carolina
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That baby is too small to handle it's emotions without comfort and care from his/her momma. If that was the first time the baby had that reaction (which I figure is unlikely - who would have a camera on the baby whilst singing?) she should have dropped that camera and grabbed the baby.

The insensitive responses to a baby's basic needs baffles me. I can't figure out how you can't respond to a baby, how you can't hold and cuddle and nurture and keep them safe. They are so little and innocent and don't understand ... shame on her.
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Old 10/30/13, 11:41 AM
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Location: Northeastern Oklahoma
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Everyone has a right to their opinion, and I asked for those opinions here, so thanks for sharing, even if you don't agree with me.

I never said parents were supposed to keep their children from ALL hurt. In fact, I think the helicopter parents of today are doing their children a great disservice, and I'm about as far from that as you can get, lol.

My son experienced all aspects of life including fear, pain, loss, sadness, etc., as well as love, joy and happiness, and I think I taught him well how to handle each situatioon appropriately and how to cope when necessary so that he grew to become a caring, well-balanced, responsible adult. To me, THAT is being a good parent, not trying to protect them from every little bit of unpleasantness in life like most do nowadays.

On the other hand, I just wouldn't do something deliberately that I know would make him unhappy, sad or hurt, especially not just so I could get some attention from strangers on the internet. By her own words, she's sung this song to the child more than once, so it just seems to me she's putting her own ego ahead of her child's emotional health.

I can understand that maybe I hit some of your triggers (not just you CC, but anyone). I have a few of my own, and having been an empathic child myself, who also went through years of verbal, emotional and physical abuse, this may have set off some of mine. For anyone not familiar with that term, you might want to read a little about it. Empathic/empathetic children feel things much deeper than an average child and may very well carry scars you know nothing about for their lifetime from something most would consider "all in good fun".

For the record, I don't ever demand that someone do things "my way". I always try to see both sides of any story, that's why I asked for opinions here. I can also carry on an intelligent conversation without name calling or ridiculing, which I would never do just because someone else's opinion is different from mine. Maybe that's where the empathy part comes in.
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Old 10/30/13, 11:48 AM
Murphy was an optimist ;)
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The kid seemed happy enough to me. No squalling, tears of joy that mom was paying attention to him?
"Nothing so needs reforming as other peoples habits." Mark Twain
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Old 10/30/13, 02:22 PM
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Michigan's thumb
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Babies are subject to hurt feelings and frustration throughout every day of their little baby lives. Why add to it? Yea, it's really sweet that the baby doesn't want to hear his mom "cry". Why keep doing it? I agree that the mother is looking for her own validation and possibly a singing career. Taking voice lessons would do her more good than filming her baby in distress.
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Nothing is as strong as gentleness, nothing so gentle as real strength - St. Francis de Sales
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Old 10/30/13, 07:10 PM
Join Date: May 2004
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Those are tears of joy.
Flaming Xtian
I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.
Mahatma Gandhi

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Old 10/30/13, 07:45 PM
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I don't think they were quite tears of joy, but the baby was NOT suffering, and I truly wonder if the source of the tears were them both being on the same emotional plane.

It was comforted by each pause and breath Mama took.

The Mom was putting her heart into the song, and probably showing some body language baby was reacting to.

I'd love to see the baby's face while Mom sang Twinkle Twinkle.
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Old 10/30/13, 08:58 PM
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Oregon
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Originally Posted by Maura View Post
Baby thinks his mom is crying. When she pauses, he smiles again. I would not keep singing to my baby like this.

On another note, my baby would put her hand over my mouth when I was singing. Quite the critic. Now, she's an opera singer.
Mine was doing this by the time she was six weeks old, so yeah, I know what you mean!
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Old 10/30/13, 11:35 PM
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: AR
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What? No, no babies were hurt in this film. Music makes me cry too, sometimes, but not from sorrow or pain.
Now, should mom have refrained from posting in on YouTube?
Yeah, maybe.
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