nephew graduating college

Use Less · #1 05/08/13, 07:54 AM

My very-bright nephew is graduating college this month, with a 3.1. My sister just posted it all over her fb about how proud she is and how wonderful he is. This is the same young man who wouldn't do enough work to make the dean's list, completely reachable for him, even though that would have given him another $3000 a term in scholarships. He "had" to join a frat. He took a driving vacation through the midwest with a girlfriend. ("But it's his money, what can I say?") I know he drinks, uses chewing tobacco, went to a hookah place with friends. Other nephs have mentioned pot. No, I'm not writing any rebuttals, and she doesn't read here. Sure have mixed feelings about it all, though.

Travis in Louisiana · #2 05/08/13, 08:18 AM

Mamas are going to brag, teenagers are going to wild and crazy things. At least he did go to college. I would like to go back to high school on what I know now! They would probably call me DISCO DADDY!!

Dale Alan · #3 05/08/13, 08:36 AM

Sounds like He is enjoying HIS life. Good to see He does HIS own thing,I admire that in a Man.

Pugnacious · #4 05/08/13, 08:42 AM

Are you paying for it? If not, worry about yourself. Sheesh. Why do people think everything is their business?

Sent from my SCH-I535 using Tapatalk 2

Use Less · #5 05/08/13, 08:43 AM

Maybe, but not on his mamma's dime. Make that mamma's small fortune.

LisaInN.Idaho · #6 05/08/13, 09:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Use Less

My very-bright nephew is graduating college this month, with a 3.1. My sister just posted it all over her fb about how proud she is and how wonderful he is. This is the same young man who wouldn't do enough work to make the dean's list, completely reachable for him, even though that would have given him another $3000 a term in scholarships. He "had" to join a frat. He took a driving vacation through the midwest with a girlfriend. ("But it's his money, what can I say?") I know he drinks, uses chewing tobacco, went to a hookah place with friends. Other nephs have mentioned pot. No, I'm not writing any rebuttals, and she doesn't read here. Sure have mixed feelings about it all, though.

Just because he didn't work his hardest in college doesn't mean he won't pull it out in real life. As far as drinking, chewing tobacco and going to a hookah place with friends...really? Most college students do this kind of thing at some point and it doesn't make their accomplishment any less real. Good for your nephew.

Alice In TX/MO · #7 05/08/13, 09:38 AM

He's not your child. It wasn't your money.

Melissa · #8 05/08/13, 09:49 AM

I think I have read that overall only about 25% of people who start college actually earn a bachelor's degree, so that is a pretty nice accomplishment right there. And yes, he is young so he might do things that are a little on the wild side. I always did say no one should get to adulthood without a few youthful mishaps~

bluemoonluck · #9 05/08/13, 10:08 AM

Unfortunately, in today's competitive job market, that GPA may make it very difficult for him to find a job....especially in his field. I've applied for a LOT of jobs in my day, and all of them want to know what my college GPA was - for all three of my degrees. Even when the job I was applying to had nothing to do with 2 out of 3 of those degrees, they still want to know my GPA

.

I agree that finishing college is a big accomplishment in and of itself, but I do also agree that having a GPA that does not reflect your true potential is something that follows you throughout your working career. In a few years, he may regret not working harder at getting good grades.

LisaInN.Idaho · #10 05/08/13, 11:19 AM

I would think it depends on what field he is trying to get a job in whether or not a B average is going to really hurt him. Also those frat connections may be a big benefit in a job hunt. Any connections help and the Greeks definitely look to help their own if they can, even after school. I talked to a young woman getting ready to graduate from the school my daughter is starting next year and she snagged a plum job at Google with help from a sorority sister she'd never met.

Dale Alan · #11 05/08/13, 11:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LisaInN.Idaho

I would think it depends on what field he is trying to get a job in whether or not a B average is going to really hurt him. Also those frat connections may be a big benefit in a job hunt. Any connections help and the Greeks definitely look to help their own if they can, even after school. I talked to a young woman getting ready to graduate from the school my daughter is starting next year and she snagged a plum job at Google with help from a sorority sister she'd never met.

I agree 100 percent. My Son graduates in 2 weeks,He was the President of His frat . Not only has it helped his future career but it also opened many doors within his school. getting to know the Pesident,Deans,Professors has made a major help. I believe experience and maturity plays a very important role,a GPA does not tell the whole story.

bluemoonluck · #12 05/08/13, 12:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LisaInN.Idaho

I would think it depends on what field he is trying to get a job in whether or not a B average is going to really hurt him. Also those frat connections may be a big benefit in a job hunt. Any connections help and the Greeks definitely look to help their own if they can, even after school. I talked to a young woman getting ready to graduate from the school my daughter is starting next year and she snagged a plum job at Google with help from a sorority sister she'd never met.

It's not the B average that's going to hurt him per se, it's the fact that getting jobs is a competitive process - the person with the best credentials is more likely to get hired. So if he's going up against people with even a 3.5 GPA (equal mix of A's and B's) with his 3.1 (which probably includes some C's), then he's going to be on the bottom of the heap.

And yes, networking makes a BIG difference in the hiring process too! If I could find someone I know to honestly vouch for an applicant, that would obviously give them a huge edge when I was helping hire. In fact, it would probably be best for this young man to take whatever job he can get thru networking initially, even if it's less pay than he wants or not quite in the right place, just so he can get some job experience under his belt. Then he can continue to work his network to see if he can find something better.

I have a friend who's company was hiring a secretary for her, and over 10 of their applicants had an MBA. Apparently they were having a hard time finding jobs working at the MBA-level, and they were looking for whatever job they could find to pay their bills. Mind you, these were all people with 3.0 GPA's and higher.... but they were clearly competing for MBA jobs against people who had higher GPA's than they did.

The last job I ran interviews for (and basically made the hiring decision for) was my replacement when I left my job back in Utah. It was one open position, and we had over a hundred QUALIFIED applicants (people who met the minimum criteria). The first step we took was to go thru and eliminate all candidates who did not have at least a 3.5 GPA in their Master's program (the job required a Master's Degree), and after that we STILL had over 20 well-qualified applicants that we had to sift thru.

Now I know that different companies do things differently, but in all the times I've been tapped to assist in the process of hiring a new employee, one of the first things we did was to order the candidates by Master's program GPA, and eliminate those at the bottom of the heap outright

.

The thinking behind that was that if the candidate couldn't get about an equal mix of A's and B's, then either they didn't really grasp the theories behind what we do, they didn't take the work seriously, or they couldn't keep up with the workload. Yes, I do realize that's not true in all cases, but as counselors we're dealing with kids who are fragile, and we need competent counselors who knew what theory to use for what situation, we need them to be able to think quickly on their feet to pull that theory out of their head on the spot/while in session with the child. They also had to be able to keep up with the required paperwork (of which there was a TON) while still seeing all the kids / replying to emails quickly / returning phone calls quickly / etc.

We needed people who could absolutely multitask and do it well. It was the experience of all the hiring managers I worked with that 9 times out of 10, those who excelled at our job had higher GPA's in school, where working under pressure while juggling a job (and sometimes family) along with schoolwork was a challenge that they had obviously risen to and met.

Maybe that was totally different than just hiring someone with a bachelors degree

. But you never want to give a prospective employer an easy out for putting you in the "no" pile.

Elizabeth · #13 05/08/13, 12:41 PM

I feel your pain. sigh.

My own very-bright nephew (A student and honor roll all through high school) just graduated college last May. He goofed around in school and his grades were appalling. It distressed me no end because I actually DID pay for a portion of his education, having contributed to his Florida Pre-paid College Plan starting when he was just around 9 years old.

But, at the same time he was attending college, he was earning $500 a week as a musician and leader of his church's Youth worship band, was also the co-leader of the adult worship band. In addition to his work with the band, he volunteered a lot of him time for other church events.

When he graduated college, the church hired him on full-time, and recently transferred him and his wife from Texas to South Carolina to assist with getting a new church "campus" started there.

So, I console myself with the knowledge that he did stick with school until he finished, he never got involved with drugs or alcohol or any other vices (he will drink a beer now and then but he never partied or drank to excess), he married his GF of 6 years, he is happy, he is passionate about his work, he excels at it, and if he ever decides to leave the church he will carry with him the leadership skills he has developed, he'll have a great resume, and tons and tons of practical knowledge and experience gained through his work there, which he will be able to apply to a secular job.

Sounds like your nephew could have done worse. Hopefully he will find employment in spite of his GPA, and if his frat brothers help him later in life consider that a huge bonus.

***I guess I should not say that he goofed around, because he was staying busy with his job, but he just did not take his school work as seriously as I wished that he had.

Bret · #14 05/08/13, 12:44 PM

Often, all that someone needs to be successful is for someone to light their afterburner with "I believe in you and I am proud of what you are achieving."

He sound like that he could have been one of our presidents. It's possible.

I am still a wild student.

unregistered97395 · #15 05/08/13, 01:05 PM

Sounds like a typical college student to me ... except he graduated with a 3.1, which is exceptional.

In addition, I'm no fan of frats, but there are exceptions and there are benefits---in particular, he has formed a lifelong network of friends and helpers by joining one.

And, yea, he shouldn't be drinking, but trust me, I've seen college students do a lot worse, like take up cutting, meth, etc.

All in all, he's accomplished something pretty difficult these days, and he might not reap the benefits of it all immediately, but he *will* reap the benefits. Good for him.

Mind you, I've spent most of the past, what, 18 years in higher ed, as grad student, grad assistant, adjunct, professor, instructor, support staff, you name it, and I know a college success story when I see one. They don't come along often these days. Good reason to do a little bragging and bustin' with pride, imnsho.

LisaInN.Idaho · #16 05/08/13, 02:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bluemoonluck

It's not the B average that's going to hurt him per se, it's the fact that getting jobs is a competitive process - the person with the best credentials is more likely to get hired. So if he's going up against people with even a 3.5 GPA (equal mix of A's and B's) with his 3.1 (which probably includes some C's), then he's going to be on the bottom of the heap.

And yes, networking makes a BIG difference in the hiring process too! If I could find someone I know to honestly vouch for an applicant, that would obviously give them a huge edge when I was helping hire. In fact, it would probably be best for this young man to take whatever job he can get thru networking initially, even if it's less pay than he wants or not quite in the right place, just so he can get some job experience under his belt. Then he can continue to work his network to see if he can find something better.

I have a friend who's company was hiring a secretary for her, and over 10 of their applicants had an MBA. Apparently they were having a hard time finding jobs working at the MBA-level, and they were looking for whatever job they could find to pay their bills. Mind you, these were all people with 3.0 GPA's and higher.... but they were clearly competing for MBA jobs against people who had higher GPA's than they did.

The last job I ran interviews for (and basically made the hiring decision for) was my replacement when I left my job back in Utah. It was one open position, and we had over a hundred QUALIFIED applicants (people who met the minimum criteria). The first step we took was to go thru and eliminate all candidates who did not have at least a 3.5 GPA in their Master's program (the job required a Master's Degree), and after that we STILL had over 20 well-qualified applicants that we had to sift thru.

Now I know that different companies do things differently, but in all the times I've been tapped to assist in the process of hiring a new employee, one of the first things we did was to order the candidates by Master's program GPA, and eliminate those at the bottom of the heap outright

.

The thinking behind that was that if the candidate couldn't get about an equal mix of A's and B's, then either they didn't really grasp the theories behind what we do, they didn't take the work seriously, or they couldn't keep up with the workload. Yes, I do realize that's not true in all cases, but as counselors we're dealing with kids who are fragile, and we need competent counselors who knew what theory to use for what situation, we need them to be able to think quickly on their feet to pull that theory out of their head on the spot/while in session with the child. They also had to be able to keep up with the required paperwork (of which there was a TON) while still seeing all the kids / replying to emails quickly / returning phone calls quickly / etc.

We needed people who could absolutely multitask and do it well. It was the experience of all the hiring managers I worked with that 9 times out of 10, those who excelled at our job had higher GPA's in school, where working under pressure while juggling a job (and sometimes family) along with schoolwork was a challenge that they had obviously risen to and met.

Maybe that was totally different than just hiring someone with a bachelors degree

. But you never want to give a prospective employer an easy out for putting you in the "no" pile.

I think it also depends on what college he's graduating from. A 3.1 from an MIT, Stanford. Pomona, or one of the top ranked schools is going to carry a lot more weight than a 4.0 from East Bugsquat U.

Melissa · #17 05/08/13, 03:04 PM

Some people also separate out the courses that are specifically for the major and report the GPA for those if it is higher. I honestly never considered a 3.1 GPA to be all that bad for most kids. Some people are just average and if everyone comes out of a school with an extremely high average it might mean the school is not making the work hard enough. I had college professors who would almost die before giving an A to anyone, they seemed to try as hard as they could to make it as difficult as humanly possible. I guess things change....

terradura · #18 05/08/13, 03:55 PM

A 3.1 GPA is not bad and might even be considered pretty good, depending on the university and the major. But, I like to see a student (or anyone else) try to do his or her best. It irks me to see college students not putting in their best efforts. Someone is paying for them to go to school and it is usually not themselves. Often enough it is you and me in one form or another. I teach at the university level and I see it in every class. Interestingly, the young men are the least motivated and most likely to slack. They are smart enough, but they just don't put in the effort to study or do the work. I don't know why, but it is a disturbing national trend.

It is true that GPA is not the only predictor of success, but a high GPA does mean someone buckled down, was responsible, and did the work.

On the other hand, a lot of kids are going to college these days with no idea of why they are there or what they would like to do in life. These kids would be better off to go get some life experience and get motivated to either come back and do well or take up an career that does not require a college degree. There is absolutely nothing wrong with the latter option.

littlebitfarm · #19 05/08/13, 08:12 PM

I never had anyone ask my GPA. All they cared about was the finished degree.

BTW 90% of doctor's don't finish in the top 10% of their class!

Kathie

BethW · #20 05/08/13, 09:58 PM

LOL, Kathie!

I've also never had anyone ask for my GPA, either for my bachelor's degree or my two graduate degrees. Employers were much more interested in my practica and internships. On a related note, anyone not able to maintain a specified GPA in the graduate programs was asked to leave.

Perhaps it's dependent on field?