Do your kids skip school alot?

Oldcountryboy · #1 10/04/12, 09:18 PM

My kids do. I try to keep them in school but they're always coming up sick or something, wanting a day off. I guess they get it from their mom. Their mom is always skipping work. Always sick for some reason or another. I hardly ever skip work. I hate short paychecks.

Just a bit ago, my middle daughter came up to me and wants to skip school tomorrow. I asked her why? Her answer was "I don't know, I just don't feel good".

My response was "Don't you know that everytime you skip school all your doing is trainning yourself to skip work when your older and need to make a living?"

So we had our rounds about it and now she's probably in her bedroom calling her mom up for permission.

Wildfire_Jewel · #2 10/04/12, 09:23 PM

Geez - I have to about twist my kid's arms to get them to stay home when they're actually sick. They hate the homework they get loaded with if they are out AND they HATE to miss practice. I kept our daughter home Wed - some head cold thing that is going around - and she starts in around practice time that she hopes the coach isn't mad - he says they have to row thru anything - yeah, NO - nice try

Alice In TX/MO · #3 10/04/12, 09:23 PM

If you are the custodial parent, you make the rules.

FrogTacos · #4 10/04/12, 09:28 PM

Only 3 things keep my kids out of school: vomit, fever, doctors orders. If you cave, you are just as 'guilty' of allowing the behavior as their mother is. Stick to your guns.

Jokarva · #5 10/04/12, 10:09 PM

And you're letting them get away with this?

Big Dave · #6 10/04/12, 10:47 PM

It is a hard row to hoe. You must be the PAPA. Your rules and do not bend unless they are really sick. Sounds like three thirty itus. They get well at three thirty and can go out or be with friends. When My daughter was sick I kept her home. She only stayed home when running a fever. Other than that, see ya after school. If they get sick at school they will call ya. Don't let them play ya. I was a single dad for eighteen years. Reared my DD from the time she was six. I do know what you sow now you will reap later.

Queen Bee · #7 10/04/12, 10:54 PM

I had to MAKE my kids stay home when they were really sick... They were very aware that if they stayed home and weren't really sick, I could/would find them something to do.. Such as clean out their closets, clean their room, go around the entire yard and pick up poo and my favorite -organize my cabinet that holds the plastic ware.. They had to do class work for the next 7 days! NO tv, computers, video games, phones, movies... If they were up and walking around they were going to have something to do.. IF they were really sick..they were in bed or on the sofa with a blanket and a book....

rxkeith · #8 10/04/12, 10:54 PM

not when the classroom is at the kitchen table, and mom or dad is the teacher.

keith

Dusky Beauty · #9 10/04/12, 11:25 PM

I punished! oldest dd a few weeks ago by keeping her home from school after she exhibited some really antisocial behavior to her sister. Point made. Shes been doing great since.

hmsteader71 · #10 10/05/12, 05:27 AM

I have one who is exactly like that. He will be 18 in two weeks and can legally quit school without my permission. Yes, we are the parents and we make the rules. But it is difficult to actually "make" them go. The good thing with his school is that he can't miss more than 5 unexcused days without losing half of his credits. The bad thing is he just doesn't care. I don't know where he gets it either. His step-dad is a hard worker, never misses unless deathly sick. I never miss work unless deathly sick either. Don't feel bad, others can say that we are as guilty if we let them stay home but they haven't walked in our shoes.

missydcpc · #11 10/05/12, 05:30 AM

The grandkids (specifically the 12 yo) try to stay home. Me threatening that if they stay home, I homeschool has been enough to convince him to go to school. Suddenly that headache isn't nearly as bad. I'm guessing that before mom moved them back in with us, she was lax in the go to school rule. It doesn't fly in my house.

Callieslamb · #12 10/05/12, 06:08 AM

If they are repeating a behavior you don't want- the consequences aren't big enough. If mine stay home from school - there will be obviously signs that they are sick. If you're sick, you don't get the computer, TV or anything else but bed rest. Usually that's enough. If there is doubt to how they are feeling and they aren't running a temperature or throwing-up, I tell them to get to school and call me if they start feeling worse. No one has ever called me.

gilberte · #13 10/05/12, 06:12 AM

Gotta get them kids to go to school, it's your responsibility as their parent. If you don't know how, get some help, maybe start with the school guidance counselor. Every day missed puts them further and further behind and its a one way ticket to Loserville.

Kelly · #14 10/05/12, 06:27 AM

First thing I would do is go out and buy a thermometer. And if they insist they are sick without a fever, I would make sure to remove all the fancy gadgets around (ipad,ipod, computer, tv, etc) as they will need to REST in bed ALL day.

Thank goodness my kids never pulled that on me. On the other hand, WHY does she want to stay home? Maybe she is being bullied in school or something? I would have a heart to heart talk with her. I hated to stay home when I was in school because then I'd get behind.

And if they just want to stay home because they don't "care"....well, that would be an entire new discussion about life ahead without an education. Be strong!!!! and good luck!!!

4nTN · #15 10/05/12, 06:33 AM

Three of my four children went through it.The rule was,If you stay home sick from school.You have to stay in bed.No tv,tablets,video games or books either.

This gets old quick,unless they are really sick.Usually a parent can tell,but not always.

My youngest is in sixth grade this year and they pile so much homework on them. He hates to get behind and he will really fuss if I make a dental/doctor appt. during school hours.

You should try this method.They will be mad at first but oh well my kids were frequently mad at me as pre-teen/teenagers,as 3 out of 4 are now grown we are very close.And they all have wonderful work ethics.

Good Luck....

NickyBlade · #16 10/05/12, 07:14 AM

It sounds to me like there might be something going on at school if she is deciding the night before that she will be sick tomorrow. Maybe she is being bullied or struggling with a subject or something?

SunsetSonata · #17 10/05/12, 07:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Oldcountryboy

I try to keep them in school but they're always coming up sick or something, wanting a day off.

I'd bet most of us wanted a day off school here and there. The difference is being taught that what we want to do DOESN'T MATTER here! Who cares what they want? I'm so sorry their mom provides such a horrible example for them. She is not looking out for their best interests by encouraging such a lack of self-discipline. You certainly don't want them growing up following their mom's behavior, or even thinking it's ok to choose a mate who does the same!

The others have great advice - make staying home from school have consequences. If they are not really sick make sure you bore them to death with a lack of toys or work them to death with chores. I just wanted to make the point that while getting them to stop skipping school is the ultimate goal, they also need to learn that the world does not cater to everything they want. They need to feel responsible NOW for something as basic as going to school even if they don't want to, like having to do homework and chores.

It's different if you find out they don't want to go to school due to being bullied, but it sounds like you have a good idea of what's really going on.

Use Less · #18 10/05/12, 07:37 AM

If you have the kids during the school week, you need to get them to school, even if you march them to the car and in the school door. Social services put a lot of weight on school attendance. Their mom may be giving the OK to skip from a distance, but you could be the one in court. I would consider a private counselor or someone at church before the ones in school. They are great people and typically overworked, but their assignments are often mainly about scheduling. They also are obligated by law to report some things, which can include kids who say they felt sick, and complain about hard-hearted you.

Ardie/WI · #19 10/05/12, 07:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Callieslamb

If they are repeating a behavior you don't want- the consequences aren't big enough. If mine stay home from school - there will be obviously signs that they are sick. If you're sick, you don't get the computer, TV or anything else but bed rest. Usually that's enough. If there is doubt to how they are feeling and they aren't running a temperature or throwing-up, I tell them to get to school and call me if they start feeling worse. No one has ever called me.

That was my way of handling it too.

I_don't_know · #20 10/05/12, 07:55 AM

When my son was 27 we were together for Christmas and he told me "Mom, you were always the toughest mother in the neighborhood. I am just now beginning to appropriate it.
Make it stick, even if you have to go to school and sit in the class with them. (They will be so embarrassed they will never try it again. I know. I did it. (you will be amazed at what you can learn in Jr High.)z