As a Church Should You Say No?

big rockpile · #1 09/18/11, 04:50 PM

The only time I even heard of a Church saying no for a need was a woman asking for money for Cat Food for over 100 Cats.

We've had people ask at least once a month for help with Electric Bill and other things for several months after awhile they quit.They weren't Members.

Today Deacons and Elders had a meeting with the Pastor.The Pastor said one of the Members we had filled their Propane Tank early Spring was asking us to fill it again before cold weather one Elder said Why not we've been Blessed! Vote taken no one questioned it.The same person depends on the Church Pantry for most Groceries.

Then the Pastor went on to say that he felt we as Leaders of the Church should put in couple Dollars a week in separate Fund for the Needy and encourage the Congregation to do the same.

Should the Church help anyone asking with out question?

Don't slam me for asking when asked I really just don't see no tactful way to say no without being a Bad Person.

big rockpile

Smalltowngirl · #2 09/18/11, 05:18 PM

I've always found telling the truth is best even when my opinion is opposite of the majority. I prefer being truthful to worrying about being a 'bad person'.

Unrelated but in the same mindset, isn't going along with everyone else how we end up with less than ideal politicians??

There's a song/saying 'You have to stand for something or you fall for everything', it says a lot about each of us and how we should handle life & our actions.

Good luck, it's hard to buck the majority but sometimes it's what's needed.

big rockpile · #3 09/18/11, 05:34 PM

Well last Winter Pastor calls me and said a Family was asking for $1,000 for Electric Bill what to do? I told him the most I would pay would be $200 and make sure it went directly to the Electric Company but this was one of those times I don't know what any of the others said.

big rockpile

wanda1950 · #4 09/18/11, 05:35 PM

Don't think there's a really good answer.

I have hated to see poor people closely questioned & even turned away by somebody from the church who never went without a snack, much less a meal. I have also hated it when a recipient picked through the food box (not because they were unable to cook) and just took peanut butter & jelly, etc. or the supposedly hungry kids heard whining about it not being the "right" kind.

I don't know about your church, but our former church seemed willing to help some members but not others. They were very kind to us financially when my husband had a heart attack. But my BIL had open heart surgery & nothing was ever given to them by the church. Maybe it depends on what they had on hand but this was a huge church with a lot of resources

It does seem like in your case it would be better to spread the help out to as many as possible instead of the same person. Maybe that would be your best argument--others need help besides this particular person.

tyusclan · #5 09/18/11, 05:43 PM

I think the church needs to help members or even regular attendees any time there's truly a need. If they are one of those families that are continually 'in need', and can't ever seem to manage their own affairs, then I think the church needs to do some counseling and try to teach them to manage their money better. To continue to give month after month, year after year without some progress or accountability is not 'helping' them. It's only enabling them.

Mulegirl · #6 09/18/11, 05:48 PM

I'd say that your church probably needs to make some kind of official policy on who gets help (income levels?), how much (is there a limit?), and for what (are there certain things that the church is not willing to pay for?). That will make it easier on your Elders and Pastor because they'll have some guidelines to follow.

am1too · #7 09/18/11, 06:30 PM

Never under any circumstances give out money to any one for any reason. I found out they really aren't that needy when ask to do something or offer to pay that supposed bill. A church in my neighborhood was passing out money. They followed one recipent right to the casino.

Pink_Carnation · #8 09/18/11, 06:48 PM

I don't feel they should just help anyone...for example if you know they don't work. There is a difference between not getting paid and not working. The hard part is knowing the people well enough to make those decisions.

Bricker · #9 09/18/11, 06:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tyusclan

I think the church needs to help members or even regular attendees any time there's truly a need. If they are one of those families that are continually 'in need', and can't ever seem to manage their own affairs, then I think the church needs to do some counseling and try to teach them to manage their money better. To continue to give month after month, year after year without some progress or accountability is not 'helping' them. It's only enabling them.

I agree.

mekasmom · #10 09/18/11, 06:53 PM

It's God's money not yours. If you give it out and the person doesn't use it as intended then they will answer to God not you.
I do think churches should always help people who are in true need of necessities. That doesn't include the need for cat food or the need for something other than food, shelter, medicine, heat, and basic necessities. And these things should be given out as vouchers, or paid directly to the electric company, not cash.
What is shameful is that some churches are HUGE financial institutions with personal financial planners, big screens, even pools. Why are they wasting money on that trash instead of helping the poor? or instead of helping the poor more? How many people go without glasses or dental work or perhaps even food while churches squander money on electronic trash to show off their wealth? Now that is wrong.
The person who mentioned church policy also had a good point. The church does need to have a policy about helping members, nonmembers, and the community at large. Help should be given as well as financial advice in a manner which the Pastor and elders are comfortable with.

Peacock · #11 09/18/11, 06:57 PM

Easy answer for my church. It can't even pay its own bills.

Plainswalker · #12 09/18/11, 07:05 PM

The last church I attended is pretty good sized. Around 1,000 people. They only give money to members and regular attenders, and I think they usually sent the money to the utility company (or where ever) as opposed to giving them cash. The church also has a few community outreach events throughout the year where they give out donated food and clothes to anyone that shows up. Some of the deacons and elders are financial planners and they will sit down with families that seem to be in constant need of money. The church also hires out-of-work people to do janitorial work. (I did this for two months.) I feel this is a good system to prevent abuse or enablement.

Alice In TX/MO · #13 09/18/11, 07:05 PM

There is a very small country church not far from our place here in Missouri. I know of two cases where a car with a family (that no one knew) has stopped and asked for help or a place to stay. They were offered help, but told that their license plate would be run by the local authorities. That has always resulted in the departure of the supplicants.

Callieslamb · #14 09/18/11, 07:07 PM

In our church, the 'pastor' is the one that has the responsibility to decide how best to help the poor. He knows the families and works with them on the most personal level. Others work with them, but the pastor is the one that knows the most. In our church, it isn't about feeding people, it's about HELPING them. What's the best help to give? Sometimes, if you jump in too fast with money, you end up denying people the right to learn to help themselves. You weaken them rather than strengthen them. Is it hard to NOT help? Of course. None of us likes to see people struggle...but what is that's best for them? Does struggling hurt? Maybe they need the blessing of learning to sacrifice a few things...to provide the necessary things for their family?

DH has been in the position of having to decide what help to give, if any. It's can be a miserable job. As a church, you need to think of your reason for helping. To feed them or strengthen them for the next time? Do you want to become to them like the govt or do you want to help them learn to take care of themselves? I also think it's okay to look at the people that gave the money in the first place. Are you honoring their donations with the help you give?

Maura · #15 09/18/11, 07:47 PM

In the little town we raised our kids, the local churches were brought together into a separate all volunteer charity group. Instead of going directly to your church, you call Project Blessing. This takes the burden off of a single church that may not be able to meet the needs of its parishoners, and shares with the community. The group is also been able to collect money and hard goods from non church goers. It is gladly supported by the entire community.

TNHermit · #16 09/18/11, 07:57 PM

Doesn't the church need cleaned,windows washed,pastors car washed or something. Doesn't have to be a demeaning. job. But it can test the spirit of the person asking of help

I think the church should be about the business of helping people. But i think it needs to be a good steward of its money. And some people know how to work the system till you ask them to do something. Saves the money for someone that really needs it.

wwubben · #17 09/18/11, 08:00 PM

Our church has a needy fund.The cash from the first Sunday of the month goes into it and people can designate money to it.We have a committee of five people and any two on the committee can ok a request.We sometimes help someone who does not request but we had someone refer them to us.We do not hand out cash------we pay whatever bill they have directly or go with them on a cash deal.We encourage budget counseling to people who come back for more.

springvalley · #18 09/18/11, 08:15 PM

Remember, if you give a man a fish, he will eat for a day, if you teach a man to fish, you will feed him for a lifetime. I`m all for helping out when in need, but to keep paying someones bills for them year after year, teaches them nothing. A 1000.00 dollars for an electric bill sounds very high, that must have been for several months. > Thanks Marc

Country Lady · #19 09/18/11, 09:54 PM

Churches need to be careful who they help. It's been known that some make their rounds of the churches asking for help. After several churches have dished out, there's no need or desire to try to work.

big rockpile · #20 09/18/11, 09:56 PM

The Lady today is in her 60's drawing SS,she gets Help with her Heat,she gets some Food Stamps.When she first came it was her and her 30 something Boyfriend,they was going to buy a House get married.Some reason he was thrown in prison.

I come in on Thursday or Sunday she is there with Cup of Coffee for me.She has done some cleaning on the Church and I believe she does set with Pastors wife in poor Health every so often.

Thing is she knows her Bills,she knows she has to fill her Propane Tank.Our Pastor has nothing to do with Money going out,he is informed of Bills due and what we have decided.

Our attendance has dropped off 50% I asked about it at the meeting today,they seem to think it is not just our Church it is area wide.

big rockpile