Just need to get it off my chest....

Serena · #1 05/04/11, 09:22 PM

*sigh*

My dear dear hubby who I have sooo wanted to bash with a frying pan lately because his new job has him coming home so exhasuted he is an ogre to live with.... Went outside out of the blue and threw together a temporary chicken coop/run for my broody momma chickens on Monday so I could seperate them.... BUT some of it is only temporary and SUPPOSED to be finished later when there is more time.... He left a 2x4 crosspiece across the top of the gate area for strength until he can redo one corner more secure... sooo... guess who has dang near knocked herself out 3 times since then..... YEP! ME! I KNOW its there and I get to putting around feeding and WHAM.. My eyebrow area is sooooo sore... Im surprised I havent got bruises on my forehead. But I dont want to insist he change it until he can do it right... but I am not sure I can survive it!

There... I HAD to tell someone....
Ive been soo frustrated with him... that I am still just floored he went and did that for me, I dont want to say a word to discourage him!

Yvonne's hubby · #2 05/04/11, 09:26 PM

Ok, I would just go ahead and fix it myself, but then I am like that. What may work for you is one of those old couch cushions, or a pillow or something tied up there till poor ol hubby can fix it right for you. You will most likely never bump yer head again once its "safe" but if you do, it wont hurt nearly as bad.

SquashNut · #3 05/04/11, 09:30 PM

I fix stuff like that myself, dh does enough around here and holds down a job. No way I would get on his case about it. In fact I would have built the chicken coop myself too. Not bragging, but dh does plenty.

Serena · #4 05/04/11, 11:07 PM

I soo would have done it myself.... but when I do that it is never quite good enough for him and he grouches until I stop and let him do it... Of course when he does that it is never quite like i wanted it done....
This particular chicken run was about 90% built before I even got home that day.... so I had no say in its construction at all.

JuliaAnn · #5 05/05/11, 12:50 AM

Your dh must be my dh's twin brother...

I have just learned to accept what my dh does. If I try to do something, he fusses until I hand the tools over to him and let him finish, and like you, seldom is something done the way I had intended it to be. Sigh. I have just learned to accept what he does with gratitude, because most of the time I really AM grateful that he did something for me, and I feel like I'm being a shrew if I tell him it's not what I wanted. I love and respect my dh, and he's more important than whatever project he's working on. I don't want him to think I don't appreciate what he does, so I try to see the bigger picture. Sometimes I might fix part of something he does, but that's about it. Funny you mention this about your chicken pen--I've got a forehead whacking doorway too, custom built by dh. I painted it white and wrote in black letters "DON'T WHACK YOUR HEAD" on it, and cut a piece of that black foam water pipe insulation in half and glued it to the low-hanging doorway where it impacts my skull, and that seems to help somewhat.

shanzone2001 · #6 05/05/11, 12:53 AM

I hit my head on the metal monkeybars today while walking through the playground.
Hope that makes you feel better.......

Callieslamb · #7 05/05/11, 07:21 AM

Okay, let's see if I have this correct. You DH has a new job that's a lot of stress for him. He takes some time to put together a pen for some chickens and you are complaining? sorry, but I think you need to get a grip. My Dh comes home exhausted every day too. His to-do list at work is so long he won't get it all done before he retires. His to-do list at home is almost as long. He is doing his best but yes, sometimes he gets a bit overwhelmed and grumps around. He took his one day off last week to build me a greenhouse. I bonked my head a few times too working to finish it up. I can't see that my head is his fault.

When you have a little attitude - try a little gratitude.

Nette · #8 05/05/11, 08:19 AM

Oh, Serena, I know you're just venting. Poor ol' head! I hit my head all the time when I go into my chicken run. Nobody's fault but my own, though, as I built it that way...

MOgal · #9 05/05/11, 10:41 AM

DH is suffering some serious back issues right now that will require steroid injections or regular surgery in the near future. He works from home most of the time as a computer software trainer. Last night, I got everything set up and he disbudded a set of twins for me after supper. Bless his heart.

We are both first borns and joke about each wanting our way. Sometimes his ideas are better than mine, sometimes vice versa but we work it out to produce some very convenient projects.

ronbre · #10 05/05/11, 11:21 AM

at least he has the ability to do something worthwhile..thank god for that

you can probably do it yourself if you try..I do all the work around here myself except the things that just can't be done by one person alone..and some things I'm just not capable of doing (like driving the tractor and truck cause of my disabilities)..you live and learn to do it on your own the older you get

TRAILRIDER · #11 05/05/11, 11:33 AM

Be thankful your hubby is willing and able to do things like that for you. My hubby is still recovering from a stroke 3 yrs ago. He can barely walk somedays : ( He'll still go down to our barn and check my goats and give them more hay, even without asking, if he's able. I'm not trying to make you feel bad, only reminding you, like I have to remind myself everyday. It could be so much worse.

Homely · #12 05/05/11, 01:24 PM

I can see from your post that you ARE thankful, hence the complaining here instead of to him. Gratitude doesn't stop your head from hurting! I have no real help. Padding as suggested above sounds like it might work. ((hugs))

sweetbabyjane · #13 05/05/11, 01:33 PM

Maybe you could wear a hard hat?

Seriously,
SBJ

Fowler · #14 05/05/11, 01:36 PM

Aaahhh...your poor head....I have a well house...that's just short enough...that everytime I turn around I smack my head on the corner of the roof....so I feel your pain literally...I am thinking of making myself a duct tape styrofoam hat.

Serena · #15 05/05/11, 03:28 PM

Ahh... dont think I dont appreciate the dear man... I think I needed to space what I was saying out more... I was tired and kind of ran it all together so it sounds different than I meant....I meant it more light hearted than I think some people took it. He loves this new job... so much he spends extra time there getting stuff done so comes home extra worn out. Hes gruff and a wee bit difficult to live with to begin with. Extra tired he has come home an OGRE. Some days down right miserable to be in the same room and live with... So in the midst of his OGRENESS he went and built the run I needed while I was out running errands. (Though NOT to the specs I had sketched out... nope... not even close.. hhaa) I am still in shock that he went and built it out of the blue... tickled pink and I adore him more for it... even if he is acting like a grouchy porcupine and its not what I requested.. Sooo the board I am hitting my head on... he made the statement that he is going to change it once he gets the materials he needs... waiting on payday and non working weekend... so I am living with it for now. I adore him for building it... even if its not "perfect". I dont want to ask him to hurry up or let on in any way TO him that I am not happy with it... because I sure dont want him to think its not much appreciated and never do stuff like that again! I am NOT the greatest navigator of the space of things that might hit me in the head.. I managed to whack myself in the head regularly getting in and out of our TRUCK... This board is just right for me to brain my goofy self on regularly.... I KNOW its there... I DUCK... and still manage to catch it somehow...

I am very thankful he can physically do things like this for me... he has herniated disks in his back that he has had the injections for and lives with pain regularly. He doesnt let it stop him though.... This week alone he went and pulled the carpet out of one of the bedrooms and started laying laminate flooring because he knew i wanted to get it done eventually.... Even when he is a snarly snappy creature... he takes good care of us.

Its just when I am laying on my back i the chicken yard seeing stars I dont quite have the mental capacity to think of all these things....... ........ haha.

JuliaAnn · #16 05/05/11, 09:49 PM

Whacking my forehead is bad, but it seems to do it at an angle so that it jams my neck, too, which is even worse.

OkieDavid · #17 05/06/11, 08:41 AM

As I read this post fumes began emitting from my ears. As I read your followup (thanks for including by the way), I realized that you were just putting into written words what usually comes out of my mouth while laying flat on my back after banging my head or grabbing for a rag to stem the bleeding while performing some task for my wife that she is perfectly capable of doing by herself to her standards but for some reason because I am the man, it is perceived to by my job.....As is working myself to death to bring home the bacon to provide financially for her and the kids.
Just smile really big when he comes home tonight and thank him for spending his precious down time doing something to make you happy instead of spending it at the bar with his buddies. Also- next time you bang your head, raise your face to the heavens and scream out like the rest of us, wipe the tears from your eyes and get on getting on.