Family, friends, and family as friends...

[Eclectic Life]

With the family threads on here I wanted to ask something... First, I will give a basic overview of my life situation. My DH, children and I live with my widowed MIL and have been through A LOT, issue wise, with living so close with family. My husband has siblings, I do not. My Mother recently passed away.... I am feeling a bit lonely for real authentic friendships with family members or at least outside the family. It seems so much of the selfish "me" issues in society now crosses many generations. It would be great to have people in our lives to truly "be there" sincerely as my family and I try to be for others. I am exhausted of going through all the religion, politics, social status, and life style issues with the family. Even dealing with people outside the family when we were in a home school group and I being a member of an historical society. We just don't "fit" in any one's "slot" in life, hence my user name. Life is stressful enough with out feeling to be "approved of". It would just be nice to find at least one other person to be REAL with. Does any one else go through this as well?

[bluefish]

Let me put it this way, the last town we lived in (7 yrs) I had more friends than anytime since grade school. 2 of them. I couldn't believe I had that much in common with that many people. I am a loner, and fortunately am ok with it. I still haven't actually figured out how I got married, it was almost an accident.

So I guess in a way, it's similar situations, but we feel differently about it? I really am ok being outside the normal groups. I just don't have a need for that, although I might feel a bit different if I was single. I don't know if I expressed myself very well, sorry.

[chewie]

i think i know what you're saying. it seems like i find someone, hang out iwth them for a while then realize they aren't who i thought they were. then i'm alone again. luckily, i'm pretty ok with being alone. recently i realized a fairly new 'friend' seems to only call when she needs something. no more nice calls, stop bys, or suppers. and the things she wants are really asking a lot sometimes! so, i'd rather be alone than have her bully me. another one has a controlling husband so her time to spend iwth me is very limited.

i think where a person lives comes into play as well. there simply aren't many to choose from!

[Sonshine]

For years I tried to live my life the way everyone wanted me to. In the process I lost who I was. These days I'm just me. Love me or hate me, I am what I am. Those that accept me that way, great, but I no longer will change who I am to fit their preconcieved notions on who I should be. I think it makes things easier. If people say something that bothers me, I speak to them, usually in private. If they continue, I just don't go around them. If it happens to be a family member I let them know that I won't be back around them, but if they really needed me, to let me know and I would be there. Other than that, I stay away. The funny thing is, since I started doing this, I get along much better with family.

[MidwestGal]

(Reviving an old thread)
Has your situation improved? If so, how did it transpire?