feeling sorry for myself

renee o'neill · #1 02/15/11, 09:30 AM

I have been around for along time just dont post much but read every day.I need ideas,pity party and just realy need to vent.2 July's ago my husband fell off a 20ft ladder had surgery on both arms plates and pins hold him together now but he works every day he can so life is good there.When all this happened we kept up all the bills but used every dime we had no big deal really just tight,we statred the modification program w/ the mortgage company well they dragged their feet.i sent in every piece of paper work they wanted on time every time they asked,fast forward to this year still no answer!yes over 16months of trying well Feb.1st we get a rejection letter and they want all the back amount in 30 days or they file forclosur.I now have an empty barn except for 2 mules.The cows all went to sale barn lost a ton of money on them along w/ the sheep and goats.In the fall of 2010 the girls all started school for the first time since we always homeschooled in hopes I could get a job,I did low pay bad hours but its something,Took me a year tho I just started last month.We have most of our belongings at an auction ,an empty barn now and still the bank wont stop.I have all but 1 month payment ,not good enough they want it all.I just feel like I am at the end of a very long rope.A year and 1/2 of this has caused alot of bad feelings in the home,the girls hate everything,husband is trying so hard and I just cant think of anything else.
Loading the stock last week just about killed me I dont think I have ever cried so hard in my life,the girls 4h steers were first then my milk cow{she was the one I wrote about who broke her leg}all the sheep but Rosie who is 11yrs old,the goats everything.I promised my kids I will try to keep thier mules or give them to a friend so we know where they are but I m not sure that will happen.
Does anyone know about bankruptcy?I am going to make calls later after work but can we keep our farm? The mortage company is telling me to send in the money I have and " we may work something out but it would take more then 30 days" well I wont give them the only money we have only to have them still file forclosure.I give up.We barley need anything from the store only have internet for school,no car payments,big credit card bill but thats it.My husbands company{which we own }took a huge hit he is a stone mason but now he does anything at all.He has applied every where too.
Sorry for the long vent but the empty barn this morning just hit me so hard I knew you guys would understand that feeling. Thanks

Tracy Rimmer · #2 02/15/11, 09:35 AM

I'm sorry, Renee -- I have no advice to give you, but you're in my thoughts and prayers today.

AngieM2 · #3 02/15/11, 09:39 AM

Can you have the local atty for the city/state or such take a look at the bank papers? There have been stories about banks misusing this program to adjust bank mortgages and foreclosing unlawfully.

If legal aide - but someone needs to check this out before you have to give up the fight.

Maggie · #4 02/15/11, 09:51 AM

Hugs to you...hope someone has advice to get you & your family through this.

bajiay · #5 02/15/11, 09:54 AM

I don't know if it is too late to do this but my friend stopped foreclosure on her home. It's kind of hard to explain here but I can call her today and get the name of what it was that she did and how to get started. I know it wasn't free but they got to keep their house and their mortgage is now a quarter of what it was. It is one of those almost too good to be true stories but it is all legal to do and didn't take her very long. If you are interested......

**clovis** · #6 02/15/11, 10:38 AM

Praying for you.

Keep your chin up.

Any chance you can call the Dave Ramsey show? He would have the best advice anywhere about your situation. Here is his website: http://daveramsey.com

ronbre · #7 02/15/11, 10:42 AM

I'm so sorry, it is all awful and I really don't have any good advice..

the only thing I can say is once you hit bottom the only way to go is up..

so many people have hit bottom, started over and made it..so don't count yourselves out on that account..pray..trust..and do everything you know to do..blessings.

Cindy in NY · #8 02/15/11, 10:46 AM

I'm so sorry for all your troubles. I will say a prayer that you find a way to save your home!

pcwerk · #9 02/15/11, 12:49 PM

I am so sorry. You are definitely not alone! Many people in this once great country
are going through the same. The system really sucks and is amoral. Keep up the
fight and dont go gently into that good night! Some congressperson from Ohio(?)
said to make the bank show you your mortgage papers...seems many are illegally
foreclosing on people ;-( Good look to you and yours.
Jim

shanzone2001 · #10 02/15/11, 12:57 PM

I am so sorry to hear about everything you have been going through. You sound like a very strong woman. You have every right to break down and feel sad...you have lost a lot in the last year.
(((hugs)))
Shannon

nanadeb · #11 02/15/11, 01:24 PM

I am so sorry this is happening it you and your family
I know this had to be very hard on the kids seeing there animals go.
I hope someway somehow you can keep their mules close by.
I dont have any advise , but I want you to know I'll keep you and your family in my prayers. ((hugs))

fordy · #12 02/15/11, 01:54 PM

................Call the largest newpaper you can get too listen too you as well as the local TV station.......see IF they will do a story on your problems and NAME and SHAME your mortgage company ! Once the light of the news media shines down upon their practices they , often are forced into working with you and will work something out on your mortgage problems . You need too take the initiave here , otherwise forclosure will force you out of your home . , fordy

DW · #13 02/15/11, 03:09 PM

do what Fordy said...I am always amazed at stories like this and the complete strangers that step up to help. (((((HUGS)))))

laurafergie · #14 02/15/11, 03:29 PM

Quote:

The mortage company is telling me to send in the money I have and " we may work something out but it would take more then 30 days" well I wont give them the only money we have only to have them still file forclosure.

I am so sorry and have been in your shoes. Your mortgage company has proven that they won't "work anything out" when they said that all back payments less one!! was not good enough.

Please take some of that money and make an appointment with an attorney that speciallizes in foreclosures and or bankruptcy. There are many options out there and you need a professional to look out for your interests. I would not give the mortgage company a cent until I talk to a lawyer.

Also know that if foreclosure is filed, it is not an overnight thing. Some people have have been in foreclosure for over two years because of the courts being backed up.

OUVickie · #15 02/15/11, 03:55 PM

We went through this back in the Fall with Bank of America - they took over the mortgage we had with Countrywide and that's when mortgage hell started for us.
We sold off all our livestock just to catch up and then ended up having to send another payment in because they claimed we were late catching up. They are ruthless.
I was told by a bill collector that credit card companies and mortgage companies actually WANT people to file bankruptcy and hope they can foreclose. They get to claim a loss on their business taxes and they got plenty of money from the government for "helping with the mortgage mess".
We finally got our payments caught up and all is good now, but I told DH we can NOT be late with payments to them, because they are laying in wait for just that kind of thing. They get good land and homes to re-sell this way.
I wish we had the money to completely pay them off. We are working on that and my advice to people is DON'T have a mortgage if you don't have to, it's not worth it.

You have my empathy. I completely understand your frustration and sadness. All I can say is, hang in there. It does get better, but it can take awhile to work out. And like others suggested, if you can find some legal help or call a news agency that does the "In your Corner" reporting, I would go for it. Often times bad press will make them back off.

lamoncha lover · #16 02/15/11, 03:57 PM

I am truly sorry for what you and your family are going through. Other posters are right...this stuff is happening to so many Americans who have done the right things and find themselves in bad situations. I really have no advice,,,,know I would stop ALL payments to the credit cards as what can they really do. Mortgage to me would be priority..even if it meant paying a house payment that has had the water and electric service disconnected.
If their is anyway to consult a bankrupcy attorney I would try. My friend is 4 payments behind, and just like you they have filled out massive amounts of paperwork for mortgage help programs then sit and wait and wait and wait.... The mortgage company is dragging their feet on this. They are going to file bankrupcy with the thoughts it will save their home.
Prayers for you and your family.

MO_cows · #17 02/15/11, 05:21 PM

Sounds like you have made every effort that is humanly possible and your mortgage lender is a bloodsucker. You need a big warm hug. And, some legal advice. Hopefully you qualify for Legal Aid (free) or its equivalent in your area. If not, find the money for one consultation and make sure you know all your rights and options.

renee o'neill · #18 02/16/11, 05:13 AM

thank you all so much! i made an appointment for Fri. w/ a lawyer so we shall see.I guess I am just feeling really down now never thought I would be like this.Maryland is soooo expensive I dont see why we will be staying here if and when we get out of this mess.The girls dont want to move out of state but I think we will if the market ever picks up.I love the banks idea "well put the house up for sale" guess they did not check the fact that nothing has sold around here for about 2 yrs.I just avoid the barn and care the mules,I am greatful for them they give me a little peace and mule kisses are great.A guy in the 4h program called and offered the girls 5 cows to show for him this fair,I was very humbled.He will keep them at his place and chores will be be his fee,at least they will be able to keep 4h up.My friend came by and bought some hens and my spinning wheel and a few other things I did not take to auction I dout she needed the stuff I am grateful.

pheasantplucker · #19 02/16/11, 05:30 AM

Sorry to hear of your extended bad patch, Renee. Even though you haven't asked for prayers I'll offer one for you and your family anyway. (Couldn't hurt, could it?). You have acted prudently and seem to have made much more of an effort than most. I'm certain there will be a good payoff for you. Be patient and have faith. Stay strong. God will bless you.

pcwerk · #20 02/16/11, 08:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by renee o'neill

thank you all so much! i made an appointment for Fri. w/ a lawyer so we shall see.I guess I am just feeling really down now never thought I would be like this.Maryland is soooo expensive I dont see why we will be staying here if and when we get out of this mess.The girls dont want to move out of state but I think we will if the market ever picks up.I love the banks idea "well put the house up for sale" guess they did not check the fact that nothing has sold around here for about 2 yrs.I just avoid the barn and care the mules,I am greatful for them they give me a little peace and mule kisses are great.A guy in the 4h program called and offered the girls 5 cows to show for him this fair,I was very humbled.He will keep them at his place and chores will be be his fee,at least they will be able to keep 4h up.My friend came by and bought some hens and my spinning wheel and a few other things I did not take to auction I dout she needed the stuff I am grateful.

Good that you all are dealing with it and getting support. Here is a link to
Rep. Marcie Kaptur's advice.