WWYD? School residency.

My kids befriended a little boy this summer. He's here a lot because his parents like to sit up at the bar and they know he's safe here.

The Dad works at a factory job about 45 minutes away from home. The Mom is drawing unemployment and planning on going to college in Jan. They are decent people, other than the sitting at the bar thing.

The Mom went to register the child for this school year and was ranting about how there were several complaints that they didn't live in the district. When I think of the child's home, I think of the place in the country that's NOT in our school district. They claim, however, that they have a house in town and that's where they live. If you've ever been in that house it's a shamble. They got it really cheap and have been "renovating" it for a while. I picture the house in town as the Grandma's place because that's where she lived for a while. Now no one lives there.

We live in a great school district-and have the tax bills to prove it. For some reason, the fact that they are lying to the school district about where they live is cheesing me off. I don't know if it's from the moral standpoint or what, but it's stuck in my crawl. I keep thinking that it's just another way they're not bringing their son up right. What kind of message are they sending him?

I'm on good terms with the principal of the local school and the school district superintendent. Should I tell them that their hunch if right or just let it go?

What would you do?

[gone-a-milkin]

I generally believe in minding my own business, especially when it comes to
my being unclear 'from a moral standpoint'.

[Kmac15]

Around here, even if he didn't live in the district all it would take is the parents going to the board and explaining why it would be better, easier, closer to work ect.. for jr. to go to this school and as long as he stays out of trouble he can go. So it wouldn't really matter if you told or not, except to make bad blood.

[JuliaAnn]

Well, they sound like they are sending their son a very clear message.... that it's ok to send your son to someone else's house while you 'sit up at the bar a lot'.

What would I do? I would ask them to find somewhere else for their son to go, and terminate all communication with them, if the tax/school situation bothers you.

I personally would not want to babysit for anyone while they were 'up at the bar'.

Just my .03, YMMV.

JULIAANN..before he landed here they would just let him ride his bike all over town, armed with nothing but a cell phone. When he started coming here he'd ask for a bowl of cereal every time he showed up. I finally just told him where the bowls and stuff is and let him have at it. It's not as bad now. He's usually here 5 out of 7 days a week.

[pamda]

oh, poor kid. I had alot of thosse kids when we lived in Colorado. Moms alone(no dads) or dads and no moms. Moms in jail or worse and kids needing food and love. Fed them all, dressed a few. And made sure they went to school and got home. Even went as far as to make sure they got free b'fast and lunches at school. Just let him go to school where he knows someone and be proud he has a safe place with you. It all seems to work out in the end. Most of my extras went on the graduate high school with honors, go to college and even have families of thier own.

[cindy-e]

Originally Posted by Tonya

JULIAANN..before he landed here they would just let him ride his bike all over town, armed with nothing but a cell phone. When he started coming here he'd ask for a bowl of cereal every time he showed up. I finally just told him where the bowls and stuff is and let him have at it. It's not as bad now. He's usually here 5 out of 7 days a week.

If that's the case, then maybe the time he spends with you and the chance to be in a good school are the only real chances he has. Truth is important too though... hmmm... tough one. Well, thanks for loving on this kid anyway. Good luck making this decision. :-)

Cindyc.

[Pam6]

If this is a boy you seem to be 'raising' why wouldn't you want him to go to a better school? Why wouldn't you want this boy to have a better education?
By 'raising' I mean you have him 5 out of 7 days a week, you feed him, and are the most influential person in his life besides his bar sitting parents.

[rancher1913]

our kids go to an out of district school and no one cares--the school knows we do it and are ok with it. a public school is a public school. we do have to pay to get them to and from school.

[starjj]

I guess it would bother me about the lying part. I would mind my own business though. Sounds like the kid doesn't have a whole lot going for him to start with.

I know a divorced mom with two teenagers that did this so her son could finish out high school where he started. Her daughter is changing schools this year so she is really in the district where she actually lives. They used a friend's address last year.

[samm]

the kid cant help what his parents are or what they do. it seems like he is around you more than at home. be an example, give him a break, be kind, sounds like he might need some grown up support...but i wouldnt go and tell on him....let the school do the districts border patroling. our school has kids that live in the next county attending and has had for years... i guess they are cheating the school by lying about thier address....but it also sounds like they may be paying taxs on the house in town,even though it may not be a huge amount...... so its really about geography.....i say live and let live....let the boy go to your school

samm

[Alice In TX/MO]

How will it benefit the child if you raise a stink?

[Laura Zone 10]

Originally Posted by Tonya

My kids befriended a little boy this summer. He's here a lot because his parents like to sit up at the bar and they know he's safe here.

The Dad works at a factory job about 45 minutes away from home. The Mom is drawing unemployment and planning on going to college in Jan. They are decent people, other than the sitting at the bar thing.

The Mom went to register the child for this school year and was ranting about how there were several complaints that they didn't live in the district. When I think of the child's home, I think of the place in the country that's NOT in our school district. They claim, however, that they have a house in town and that's where they live. If you've ever been in that house it's a shamble. They got it really cheap and have been "renovating" it for a while. I picture the house in town as the Grandma's place because that's where she lived for a while. Now no one lives there.

We live in a great school district-and have the tax bills to prove it. For some reason, the fact that they are lying to the school district about where they live is cheesing me off. I don't know if it's from the moral standpoint or what, but it's stuck in my crawl. I keep thinking that it's just another way they're not bringing their son up right. What kind of message are they sending him?

I'm on good terms with the principal of the local school and the school district superintendent. Should I tell them that their hunch if right or just let it go?

What would you do?

Let it go.
Sounds like the kids got it rough enough.....
In the grand scheme of things.....this is nothing.
They will Answer for their deception. It's not your job to 'bring justice'.

I understand your POV though. You are paying through the nose in taxes, so if someone is getting the same benefits WITHOUT paying through the nose, well, that's not fair.
It's not.
But if you involve yourself, emotionally-mentally-verbally in ever injustice, you will make yourself, crazy. The world is full of them.

Thanks for being a 'safe place' for this kid........he'll never forget it and hopefully, it will be a 'positive building block' for him when he gets older. The world needs more people like you who give a rip about kids!

[Txrider]

Why let it bother you?

I'll tell ya what, I have paid school taxes all my life for good schools, and never have or will have kids, and will pay the taxes till I die..

Just chalk his schooling up on my bill and others like me, as I'm sure there are similar folks paying into the school there with no kids.. We pay for your kids, and whoever elses kids go there, for the betterment of the community.

You could end up being the most important and influential adult in the kids life.

[nikko]

ok...they live on a rural property and also own a home in town......aren't they paying taxes on both?

i don't condone lying.....but if the taxes thing is sticking in your craw....

[Tracy Rimmer]

You say they own a house in town. If they own it, they're paying taxes to the school district, and their child has as much right to attend there as yours do.

[Ardie/WI]

Let it go!

[Wolf mom]

If they have a house in the district, even though it's being "renovated" it counts.

Instead of complaining that the kid doesn't belong in your fine district - you should be thankful that the bar flys have enough sence to send their kid to a district where he will get a better education.

We used to have an exchange program for kids living on the border of two districts - One child of mine went out of district for one year - then they changed the rules & I had to pay to keep her in the better district. By the time the second child hit HS, they had abandoned any type of exchange so I moved into the better school district.

when my son was little, one of his best friends parents owned a bar - a biker bar - I'd go pick the kid up & keep him overnight as they'd have him sleep in their car.

[FunnyRiverFarm]

Yah...Just leave it alone. It's a great thing that you're doing for this kid...giving him a safe haven to go to during the day.

When I was still at home my brother had a friend that was in a similar situation. He was left to fend for himself most days so he stayed at our house where there was food and company. My mom even made him a cake on his b-day...it was the first time he could remember ever having a cake made for him! Unfortunately when he got a little older things became weird because he developed a crush on me (I was about 16-17 at the time) and would not leave me alone...I ended up feeling frightened in my own home because I woke up to him standing over my bed staring at me! He also tried to break down my bedroom door once when no-one else besides us was there! It caused some resentment because at first my parents did not believe me...until I started keeping the love letters and showed them! Yikes!

[WhiteWillow]

I agree with the others. If I were in your shoes I would just mind my own business and let it go.