prayer re parenting a grown "child"

[nodak3]

We can use prayer re parenting a grown "child."

We became convicted about two years ago to stop "padding the pigpen" and picking up the pieces when her abusive husband would hurt her feelings or act out.

About 6 months ago they divorced and he left the state.

Since her child was born we've done more raising the child than she has, plus helped maintain her house, given her shelter, free daycare, etc.

A couple of months ago she called and asked us out to dinner. There she laid a "plan for her life" on us that all I'm going to say is that we hope to high heaven she drops that plan.

We weren't telling her that, though, just listening.

She finished and ASKED our opinions....is this good, bad, why? So we told her that we thought it was a terrible idea that would irreparably scar her child. She listened and seemed cordial. After dinner she told us to keep our ideas coming, ask her any questions we had, express any more opinions about this and she would keep thinking it over as it "isn't a done deal anyway."

We went home, had a few questions and so sent an e mail with them (we email constantly between us) and restated our position which is this: no, we don't think it is a good idea but hey you are in your mid thirties and we figure able to run your own life.

Since then we have not mentioned her idea at all. No nagging. No subtle hints about it. Nada. We have gotten her a power mower since she was using a leave it to beaver type. We have gotten her more tools she needed. We have continued to baby sit LOTS. We have attended her special events to support her emotionally. We have invited her over for dinner several times and out for fun activities.

She fortunately is so far NOT limiting our time with the grandchild, but she now avoids us like the plague and is downright uncivil and nasty when she is in a situation that "forces" her to speak to us.

She is dating a guy who seems very nice. He seems as puzzled as we are about her behavior. His attitude is "well, you DID ask their opinion. They gave it and now life goes on. Do what you think best."

We have no idea if she is moving ahead on her plan or not, and are NOT going to ask.

We figure she is treating us like her ex treated her: agree with me about everything or I will freeze you out or act out.

So currently we are enjoying time with the grandchild (and with our daughter's boyfriend!) and pulling back from the invites, the gifts, the help until our girl gets her knickers untwisted.

But we sure could use prayer! Our pastor warned us that there would be some bumps since she is coming out of an abusive situation and is not getting counselling about or for it.

Also, for those that are Christians, pray for her to turn back to the Lord. She has tossed aside all of His guidance and "rules" and is reaping some sour consequences.

Pray this prodigal get tired of husks and mud and accepts our love and the Lord's. (And pray the Lord lead her and if her idea is good, strengthen her resolve. If not, pray she drops the idea.)

Thanks for letting me vent, and if you know resources for the parents of grown children who are leaving situations of abuse, lay it on me!

[Shepherd]

Don't have much to offer, except prayer (I guess that's quite a bit).

[Dixie]

I said a prayer.

[Joshie]

Praying for her salvation and your comfort. Praying for her child too. Please share the plan for salvation with your grandchild.

[Tricky Grama]

Prayers & good thoughts.

Patty

[farmmom]

Praying! What a difficult situation. May God work in her life to bring her back to Himself.

[nodak3]

Thanks and keep praying!

Grandchild accepted Christ about a year ago.

I keep running in to my daughter's friends, and apparently she is ticking a bunch of them off, also.

I'm really trying to learn if there is some kind of "post abusive jerk of an ex" syndrome she might be working through.