Whos Money Is It ?

fantasymaker · #1 04/21/10, 01:48 PM

Ive heard several conversations lately where they were arguing about where the child support money should go. The general family budget? The kids? Or the wife (since she does all the "support" activities for the kids)?

Wags · #2 04/21/10, 02:00 PM

Money going directly to the kids just doesn't make any sense - unless you are expecting that they are going to be charged for room & board.

By default it should go to the caretaker for the household budget - which would include room, board and clothing for the children.

MN Gardener · #3 04/21/10, 02:13 PM

do you really think only men pay child support? Come on, its 2010. The child support goes to the adult who is in charge of taking care of the child.

Ohio dreamer · #4 04/21/10, 02:52 PM

I voted caretaker. The one taking care of the child knows what bills need to be paid.

PinkBat · #5 04/21/10, 03:11 PM

Isn't the household budget and the caretaker the same difference?

Joshie · #6 04/21/10, 03:22 PM

Having money go to the children's custodial care does not mean that the money doesn't go to the children. Child support is not money for the children to play with. It's given to ensure that they have food to eat, a place to live, clothing to wear, and can do things like participate in activities, etc. It is supposed to try to keep the children's lives as close to it would be if the parents were still married.

I have no idea why people get angry and say that child support goes to the custodial parent so (s)he can go on vacation, have luxuries, etc. How in the world do you want your children to live?

Ohiogal · #7 04/21/10, 03:30 PM

It does happen (funds spent incorrectly). I have at least 1 friend who pays it to his ex-wife, who squanders it on tear-offs (lottery) and beer and cigarettes. He gets so mad as his kid lives in beat up clothing and they move every 6 months or so. I think they get evicted.
Just because "they" are getting paid doesn't mean "they" are using it in the best interest of the child.
I voted for Household Budget. The caretaker is questionable on what is "needed" IMHO.

Joshie · #8 04/21/10, 03:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ohiogal

It does happen (funds spent incorrectly). I have at least 1 friend who pays it to his ex-wife, who squanders it on tear-offs (lottery) and beer and cigarettes. He gets so mad as his kid lives in beat up clothing and they move every 6 months or so. I think they get evicted.
Just because "they" are getting paid doesn't mean "they" are using it in the best interest of the child.
I voted for Household Budget. The caretaker is questionable on what is "needed" IMHO.

When these situations happen, I think it's time to take an ex to court in order to change the custody arrangement.

KatW · #9 04/21/10, 04:07 PM

It should go into the family budget, ideally meeting the kids needs before family wants. In other words the kids have food and school clothes and all other necessities before the family spends money on a vacation. I do think that when the kids get to teenage years that some of the money should go directly to the child with the understanding that this is for "clothing" or "school expense" but I think that should happen even in a non-divorce family, teens need to learn how to handle money and make a budget.

farmmom · #10 04/21/10, 04:16 PM

The child support I recieve goes into the household budget. Of course, by the time I get it, I've already spent what is needed for my son's necessities. I'm supposed to recieve it weekly, but if I'm fortunate, I recieve it about once a month.

fantasymaker · #11 04/22/10, 09:52 AM

I couldnt belive it when doctor Laura told a woman to leave her very good husband because he thought the money should go into the budget instead of being given to the kids.

Jan Doling · #12 04/22/10, 09:57 AM

It goes to the budget for food, shelter, and clothes.

chickenmommy · #13 04/22/10, 11:42 AM

I voted for caretaker because of the wording. It may not be the other parent that is caretaking, there may be an unscrupulous mate that doesn't understand that certain things need to be purchased for the kids and spend until there is not enough left. The child support system does not work the way it is set up. Just like the SSI system does not work the way it is set up. There should be accountability to SOMEONE OR SOMEWHERE to make sure the kids are getting what they need. Sure there may be leftover cash, which could then be used for travel to see the non custodial parent for visits, or special things like gifts for the childs friends or teachers at the holidays. I have seen so many custodial parents, my granddaughters mother for instance, that use that money for their own ends and then the child goes without needed items like decent socks. It is very frustrating. Yes I pick up the slack so that my punkin doesn't do without, but in essence I am an enabler of her mothers bad decisions.

TheMartianChick · #14 04/22/10, 12:31 PM

I remember jumping all over my husband because he thought that his ex should be using the support money just to buy the kids clothes. I told him that the money was supposed to help pay for a portion of ALL of their expenses.

fantasymaker · #15 04/22/10, 01:27 PM

I thought I was clear in the OP that a vote for the caretaker was like saying since X does the work of raising the kids then X should have the money to play with.
Sorry for the misunderstanding.

joseph97297 · #16 04/22/10, 01:32 PM

Here it goes into the family budget. Hubby stays at home and I work,he does the bills and things, so he knows where it has to go.

It is not much (approx 250 per month) and my ex asked for a break down once of how the money was being spent. I told him that it was being spent for food shelter and clothing and etc etc, he actually had the nerve to ask for copies of bills. anyway, it should go to the general budget.

In our case, after bills, we apply half of the left over to our land payment out in Missouri and then divide the other half into equal portions for the kids and ourselves, long/short term savings.

JanS · #17 04/22/10, 02:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by joseph97297

It is not much (approx 250 per month) and my ex asked for a break down once of how the money was being spent. I told him that it was being spent for food shelter and clothing and etc etc, he actually had the nerve to ask for copies of bills. anyway, it should go to the general budget.

Wow, that must have been aggravating. If you count food, clothing, one person's share of rent & utilities, school supplies, gas for rides to school or wherever, diapers, shampoo, field trips, doctor & dentist, on and on, I doubt a parent would have anything left from the $250 to spend on liquor and fur coats.

WeasleAcres · #18 04/22/10, 02:46 PM

My ex tried to pull that once. As follows is my response:

As you may be aware, child support is designed to help support minor children and give them a close semblance to the life they would have if their parents were together. In the spirit of that, following is a listing of household bills only as they pertain to the children:

Rent: 750
Utilities: 250 (water, gas, and electricity-- phones aren't necessities)
Groceries: 100 per child per month x 3= 300
Transportation: 75 (this covers to and from school, activities, etc
Activities: 150 (each child in 1 activity-- approx 50/month per child)
Clothing: 150 (50 per child, per month)
Health Insurance: 300 (My cost minus the amount it would cost if only I were covered)

This brings the total to 1775 per month for support of your children. If I split that cost down the middle, you have a total of 887.50 per month for each of us. Since your current order is for $400/month-- I recommend you send a check for the balance before you have the nerve to ask where your child support is going.

I was never asked about money again.

Ann-NWIowa · #19 04/22/10, 09:50 PM

Judges refuse to address this issue. Child support is for the support of the children in anyway it is needed. Unfortunately there are a LOT of deadbeat parents who do not pay any support and their children suffer. Sometimes the goal is to make the ex suffer but its really the children who suffer the most. They don't get to participate in sports or have music lessons, they don't go to the dentist and/or doctor barring an emergency, they don't have decent clothes or adequate school supplies. Personally I think the deadbeats should be rounded up and put to work breaking big rocks into gravel until they decide to support their children.

fantasymaker · #20 04/22/10, 10:08 PM

Why do I suspect you have kids and a deadbeat ex?