Now I think I've heard everything

[Wildwood Flower]

At a distant relative's funeral the other day I heard that one of the flower arrangements had a card saying "Return to Sender" on it.

Apparently, the giver had another occasion that week and wanted to use the arrangement again. T A C K Y... really tacky....Can you believe some people?.

[glazed]

I do believe that takes the cake.

[nathan104]

ummm.. are you serious? Hopefully you are joking about this and you really do get the "return to sender" sentiment.

[||Downhome||]

as in god does giveth and he does taketh?

I think return to sender only works with the USPS as far as parcels go. it would fall to the family if that request was for real as far as the arangement goes. personaly in our family they are sometimes returned to the sender , there are tons of arangements as well as live plants. sometimes not, but many times yes. (very large extended people persons family though Im just going to find me a place among the wild flowers and be coyote chow when my time comes)

[MELOC]

that's kinda funny in a philosophical way.

you want to hear tacky in regards to death? my mom's best friend died a few years back. she was buried and a headstone with her name and the name of her husband (still living) was erected. normal so far. then the guy get's married again and has the headstone removed and a new one erected with his name in the middle and the names of his two wives... one on either side. what a guy!

[Ravenlost]

Meloc, I don't really see anything wrong with that. Obviously he loved/loves both his wives.

[uncle Will in In.]

Losing a spouse can be very hard. I know of guys who claim it's dang near impossible. <>UNK

[Windy in Kansas]

I may be wrong but I think the message has been misinterpreted.

I have actually heard the expression used before but certainly not on flowers.

The message means--send this person back to God, their life on earth is done.

The message is about the person, not the flowers.

[Wildwood Flower]

Originally Posted by Windy in Kansas

I may be wrong but I think the message has been misinterpreted.

I have actually heard the expression used before but certainly not on flowers.

The message means--send this person back to God, their life on earth is done.

The message is about the person, not the flowers.

Sorry....this was NOT the sentiment. They actually wanted their flower arrangement back, and YES it's a TRUE STORY. I still get a kick out of it.

[deaconjim]

Either way you read it, it was tacky.

[Wisconsin Ann]

Wildwood flower, I believe you Our family had one woman, married to one of "the brothers" that formed a huge part of the family, who would do things like that. We all know folks who make sure to get all the food back from a picnic, right? "i brough 4quarts of potato salad to group picnic, only 2quarts were eaten, I want my 2 quarts of food back"..well, that' fine, normal.

One of the family died, and like normal farmer Wisconsin people, they had a service with folks going to the widow's house afterwards. Aunt B (the lady in question here) brought a casserole for the widow. Like everyone else. Except, when she left (early) she took her casserole back home with her. She also took the lovely HUGE bouquet she and her husband had sent to the funeral. She said, as I recall, "Andrew's wife had a baby, I'm going to take it over there to brighten the room".

thrifty? or mean? (as in tightwad) It was pretty typical of her tho. She would ask for gifts back when the person moved, or died. When my mom died she wanted the china coffee set (matchng mom's dinner service) back that she'd given my mom 10 years earlier for a Christmas present. She was quite rude when I said "no".

[MELOC]

Originally Posted by Ravenlost

Meloc, I don't really see anything wrong with that. Obviously he loved/loves both his wives.

a bit insensitive in regards to the first wife. she really had no say in the matter. if i had to guess, he chose to appease the second wife, lacking the courage to say no.

[starjj]

Originally Posted by MELOC

a bit insensitive in regards to the first wife. she really had no say in the matter. if i had to guess, he chose to appease the second wife, lacking the courage to say no.

Oh come on Meloc

I am sure the first wife (dead) was far past caring I think he did the right thing in honoring BOTH wives

[Ravenlost]

LOL...that's my thoughts on the matter too starjj.

And DeaconJim, I agree...tacky either way.

[EDDIE BUCK]

Well I know these are tough times we are living in,but before I'd have "return to sender" placed on the flowers with plans to use them again,I wouldn't be buying no flowers.They(the deceased)can hold it aganist me if they want to,but when I get to heaven they ain't gunna be attacking me for being a cheapskate,cause God ain't gunna allow no arguing, and on second thought, that grudge they are holding will probably keep them out of heaven anyway,and if thats the case they wouldn't be wanting no flowers down there no how, hot as it is cause they would be too busy hauling water 24/7just to keepum from wilting lol EB

[ronbre]

yes the return to sender was tacky..but get this..when Ron's mom died a friend of his bought a very very expensive container with plants in it..because she was such a good friend of my husbands..she put a note on the back of the card that she wanted US to take the arrangement home from the funeral home..this was ron's MOM that died and the father died 2 years earlier..however..NOPE..another unrelated person took the plant and very expensive container home with them..we never saw it again..

when Tammy asked ron if he got it he had to say no..someone else took it..she was very disappointed.

so i can see where "directions" on who should be allowed to take it home can be added in a situation like that..and when selfish people show their true colors..as in this case..then everyone is aware of their selfishness..we never pursued the matter..as we just don't cause ripples too often

[charliesbugs]

I had to look to see what state had the stone with the two wives.We have a relative that did this. Wasn't him,tho.
I worked in flower shops for 20+ years and it has gotten to the point of putting on the back of the card-"to go to Aunt Sue" - on the back of the card. It saves arguments,time, and helps get an arrangemment, or statue, afghan, plant, or whatever,home with a certain family- who may not 'ask' for it.

[1flhippy]

Funerals and memorials are for the living anyway. I'm sure the deceased doesn't care one way or the other. And at least the person took the time to let you know they were acknowledging the loss of a loved one. Maybe not the way any of us would, but still a sentiment just the same.

[stickinthemud]

Once, when helping clean up a stream, we came by a funeral home and the hillside behind & below the place (out of sight) was covered deep with flowers in all states of decay. Agree with OP that the 'return to sender' is tacky, but where would those flowers go otherwise?
I don't send flowers.

[Wildwood Flower]

Originally Posted by stickinthemud

Once, when helping clean up a stream, we came by a funeral home and the hillside behind & below the place (out of sight) was covered deep with flowers in all states of decay. Agree with OP that the 'return to sender' is tacky, but where would those flowers go otherwise?
I don't send flowers.

I used to work in a flower shop. Sending flowers is a sign of care and respect for the deceased and the family. They are not meant to be something that "lasts", although sending a plant instead of fresh-cut flowers is sometimes done.

Having been the recipient when our mother died, I know that the flowers gave us great comfort and we brought most home to the house and various of the relatives took one home.

I know that sometimes people also send donations to charities instead of flowers. As for me, I love flowers. Yes, their beauty fades, but there's nothing brings me greater joy than a lovely bouquet of flowers. Just me.