Learn from my mistake...

[Jen H]

Replace your upholstered furniture with leather or vinyl or a vinyl slipcover when you have an elderly relative move in.

Especially if that relative doesn't agree that they need Depends. (and they just won't wear the things)

Cause they will prove that they do indeed need Depends.

When they're sitting on the nice, comfy, upholstered recliner.

That chair is just history. His clothes will wash. I *think* I can save the shoes. The chair? I'm not at all optimistic about the chair.

[Danaus29]

EEEEEWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I had to pitch an upholstered chair because dd had an accident in it when she was little.

[frogmammy]

Steam clean. Experience here. Will work. Then put a pee-pad on the chair.

Mon

[Queen Bee]

Been there, done that! My MIL refuses to wear them and has ruined ever single chair, sofa and mattress that we purchased for her new house! The entire house reaks.. We purchased a potty chair and she had someone take it 'off' because she didn't have anyplace for it.. I purchased depends for her in bulk and they are in her bathroom.. She embarrassed her daughters and herself when she went to a funeral and had to run off to a headstone and strip her pants off --she was too late...they were wet, her shoes were wet--her ride home was not so comfy.. She will place a washcloth in her pants--so I thought she would wear pads but NO--she will have no part of it...I did the steam clean thing twice and it will work but I need to just toss these and get plastic chairs..

[Jen H]

Steam cleaning will work even though this was, ummmm, solids as well as liquids? (for lack of a nicer way to put it...)

For right now, the chair is out on the covered porch. It's definitely on the fragrant side.

[Farmerwilly2]

They'll clean. Use pads. Enjoy your folks while they're still here, then get fancy furniture. Chuck pads are your friend--on the chair, in the bed, in the car. I'd gladly trade a pee chair for another year of mom or pop still here.

[Jen H]

Oh, don't get me wrong. I love the man. I wouldn't have him here in my home if I didn't.

This particular mess was just a bit much today.

[greenacres]

When I worked in the hospital and nursing home we used chuks in chairs and on top of sheets when we made the beds and such. They are the same as puppy pads. When my grannie was still alive and would spend the night at my parents, my mom used waterproof pads that you put in baby cribs.

[Sanza]

God bless you Jen for looking after him. And yes, you do need to vent sometimes. I hope you have someone to help you with him sometimes or you'll burn out quick. Is there a community nurse or home care that can give you pointers on what you can expect to deal with when you have a geriatric in your home? You don't need any more surprizes like that...lol. Does he have dementia or is he just stubborn? I know stubborn...I had to work hard for many months to get my mother to wear the pullups.... who, by the way looked after her FIL in the early 60's and had to wash bedding etc all the time because of his incontinence due to dementia. That was without power or running water, using a wood stove, and before things like depends (it was diapers made from flannel sheets)

[clamjane]

A shower curtain makes a great mattress cover. When you put the pad and bed sheets on you cannot even tell it is there.

[Farmerwilly2]

I figured you cared or you wouldn't be taking care of them. Yes, there are those days when you just need to take a quick walk outside and kick a rock. I always came back around when I thought of what it would be like once they were gone. Febreze is good, and so is the enzyme sprays they sell for pet urine, that helps cover it up and break it down.

[Jen H]

The mouthwash is a good tip! I'll have to keep that filed away.

We have several matress covers I rotate for his bed because he just doesn't catch himself at night. Smaller pads are on the errand list when I head to town tomorrow.

I guess I just feel like I'm constantly playing catch-up right now. This is the first time he's had a real blow-out while he was awake. He's soiled himself on the way to the bathroom before, but that's straighforward to handle -- get him into the shower, then grab him some clean clothes... I get kind of used to the routine and then his mental state and physical state takes another turn for the worst.

I can't fume or rage at the man, you know? He didn't do this on purpose. He was just oblivious to the whole thing.

-- Yes, we do have an attendant who comes in to help watch FIL when we can't be here or when I need a break.

[PATRICE IN IL]

If he is sleeping in a twin size bed, they make a waterproof matress pad. I have one on my son's bed and it works great. If you have removable cushion covers, take them off and place the cushion in a heavy duty trash bag with duct tact to close it, then put the cushion cover back on. No more wet cushions and the covers slip on/off easier for washing.

[frogmammy]

You might check this out...both disposable and reuseable pads... the peach ones are REALLY good...
http://www.medplususa.com/list-index...ds-cp-354.html

Or, maybe find a medical supply nearby (no shipping charges!) that you could buy these good quality pads.

Mon

[hoggie]

No advice or comments for you except a BIG hug - goodluck with him

hoggie

[Jan Doling]

God bless your little heart.....people always seem willing to put up with the same results with new puppies, kittens, and toddlers, so why shouldn't it be the same with elders whom we love so much?

[midwsthomestead]

Just a hug of support to you from our house.

~~

[Jen H]

It turns out his issue with the underpants is that he prefers boxers (Husband sat down and asked him). Seeing as how he really needs the elastic around the legs, he'll just have to adjust. Or we'll have to figure something out. I'm not only thinking about the immediate circumstances. If he'd had that accident while sitting in a restaurant having lunch, or while getting groceries it would have been humiliating -- instead of just a stupid thing at home that'll blow over.

I did one pass with the steam cleaner this evening and doused the area with Nature's Miracle. I'll leave that to work for a few days and give the chair another go with the steam cleaner and see if it works. Worst case scenario, we get a new (to us) chair. The shoes did clean up just fine. They're leather and I had to get them under the faucet to really scrub them, but they should dry just fine.

And onward... FIL lives here, that's not changing. So, we just need to stay on top of things to make it safe and comfortable for him to be here.

[madness]

Been there done that. My grandfather lost control on his road trip to our house. No, the car didn't have leather or pleather. After he got here, he messed the recliner too as well as the bed.

But he quickly went into diapers and then passed (3 weeks). Everything was cleaned. But it was still a hassle. Good luck.

[Jen H]

Originally Posted by Jan Doling

God bless your little heart.....people always seem willing to put up with the same results with new puppies, kittens, and toddlers, so why shouldn't it be the same with elders whom we love so much?

I see posts on this board venting about toddler's messes, asking about house training puppies, wondering what on earth to do about their teenagers, and venting about the latest present the cat left in their shoes. I never assume the people writing those posts don't love their children, puppies, or kittens - I just figure it had been a bad day and they need to let off some steam.

It's the same in my case. I'm not kicking the man out into the cold because he soiled a chair. Yesterday was just awful, and I let off some steam here rather than stomp around the house angry at a man who truly doesn't deserve any anger at all.

Perhaps you would be good enough to provide me with a list of approved things to vent about.