Sending Thank You's

[Peace n Quiet]

Whew! The kids and I just finished up writing out 11 thank you cards to people who supported their efforts in 4H. It took all night!!

Now I sit here wondering if this is something that is lost on most people. I attended three "showers" for babies/weddings this year and have yet to see one thank you. Now, I'll admit that over the years I've missed a few opportunities to say thanks, and I regret it. I try to be on top of those things and hope I pass that along to my kids. Showing appreciation never goes out of style, but it seems like people who take the time to do so are a dying breed. I hope that my children take this lesson in gratitude to heart.

[nebraskamom]

I'm big on writing thank you notes!! There have been a few times I've not received a thank you note and I always think---how tacky!! There have also been a couple of times I have not sent thank yous because of lack of time, but have made sure to thank the person either face to face or on the telephone.

To me not sending a thank you note for a gift that has been received or to people who have contributed time, etc. is just thoughtless. Kinda' ranks right up there with sending condolences/sympathies by e-mail---EEEWWWW!!!

[sewsilly]

Writing actual notes, in general, has fallen out of style.

I taught my three to write notes, in general, and specifically thank you's, and always , always made sure they did. The really nice thing, is that now that two of them are grown, [B]I[B] am the recipient of many a note....

Last week "Mommer (this 'name' drives me nuts but he LOVES to call me that), Thanks so much for making the yummy cookies for me and my friends. I have had lot of girls coming through my room to get the cookies! Everyone thinks they're better than the gourmet bakery in the village...."

Gives a mom a reason to ponder, for sure, but nice to be thanked. Also is nice to get a little card in the mail, which reminds me to send them some mail too.

Tip... keeping small card type stationary for boys is hard. Sometimes, you can find relatively plain stuff, but we resorted to having a nice plain masculine one printed up. It's impressive when they need it for stuff like volunteer work and interviews.

dawn

[Kris in MI]

I always make my kids write thank you notes. And many times I hear back from the recipient how surprised and pleased they were to actually get a thank you.

Yes, I do think it is becoming a thing of the past. I have to admit it somewhat annoys me to give a wedding or baby or graduation gift and never hear back from the person.

[unregistered29228]

We all write thank you notes too. Just because people are busy is no excuse for bad manners. If someone takes the time to support your cause, buy you a gift, remember your graduation, etc., then it's only proper to write a short note telling them thank you. We don't do it by email, and it has to be hand written on a nice little card or piece of stationary. It only has to be a few lines, but it has to be done. My kids always whine and complain when it's time to thank people for birthday or Christmas gifts, but I won't let them off the hook.

I've been to a BUNCH of weddings, showers and birthday parties where I took a gift and never heard a peep from the recipient. I think that's really rude, just raking in the gifts and never saying thank you. And for a few of those rude wedding folks who went on later to have baby showers, I didn't send a gift.

Maybe I sound grouchy but this is a sore point with me. I took my thank you notes on my honeymoon 17 years ago and wrote five a day until I got them all done....

[Peace n Quiet]

Originally Posted by Mom_of_Four

Maybe I sound grouchy but this is a sore point with me. I took my thank you notes on my honeymoon 17 years ago and wrote five a day until I got them all done....

I don't think you sound grouchy at all. For me, writing thank you's takes alot of effort because words don't come easily to me. However, I wouldn't dream of not sending out notes of appreciation just because it's hard to do, so it kind of puzzles me when other people don't. I especially hate it when I've sent a gift for an event that I couldn't attend and then I'm left wondering if it was ever received!

[mandidawn]

I had all thank you's out one week after my wedding.
One day after my wedding showers.

Now my dilemma - My DH's aunt just stopped in with a "wedding" present for us last week. We got married over a year ago. Do I still send a thank you note? For some reason I just feel strange doing so . . .

[Peace n Quiet]

Originally Posted by mandidawn

I had all thank you's out one week after my wedding.
One day after my wedding showers.

Now my dilemma - My DH's aunt just stopped in with a "wedding" present for us last week. We got married over a year ago. Do I still send a thank you note? For some reason I just feel strange doing so . . .

I would. Some people are just procrastinators but the fact that she gave a gift after a whole year shows her heart is in the right place. Most people wouldn't have even bothered after that much time went by. Send her a warm thank you!

[mandidawn]

I would. Some people are just procrastinators but the fact that she gave a gift after a whole year shows her heart is in the right place. Most people wouldn't have even bothered after that much time went by. Send her a warm thank you!

That was my instinct, guess I just needed that extra opinion. I'll do it tonight so that I dont' forget. thanks!

[Beaners]

Well, I will freely admit that I don't think I mailed out thank you notes for half of the things we were given after our daughter was born. We had just moved across the country, had an infant, and then moved again a couple months later across town. Anything that was given in person was opened in front of the giver and they were thanked profusely. I made phone calls thanking people for most of the stuff sent by mail. Some of the things were given to my family members to pass along to me, and I didn't have any way to contact the giver. In those cases I told my family members to pass along my thanks. There wasn't enough time between moving and my due date to plan a real shower.

I think thank you notes are nice, but if I had wrote them all out I wouldn't have had any time to spend with my new baby. Also, has anyone tried to find plain thank you notes at the store lately? We got some to thank the neighbors for giving us a "welcome to the neighborhood" basket but it took three stores to find ones that weren't about weddings or babies.

Kayleigh

[unregistered29228]

Kayleigh, it seems like the last time I got plain thank-you notes they were from:
Currentcatalog.com and they were embossed but not flashy and had no writing inside. I like to keep some in my desk, but they are hard to find in stores.

I understand about the moving and new baby part, and I'm sure your family and friends do too. And it sounds like you thanked people when you could, and had plenty on your plate.

See, I did sound grouchy....

[Peace n Quiet]

Originally Posted by Beaners

Also, has anyone tried to find plain thank you notes at the store lately? We got some to thank the neighbors for giving us a "welcome to the neighborhood" basket but it took three stores to find ones that weren't about weddings or babies.

Kayleigh

I bought a small paper cutter at AC Moore with a 50% off coupon - cost me around $8. I keep a supply of colored card stock on hand as well as notecard envelopes (walmart or staples has these) Using these saves me alot of money on cards! Sometimes we print them out using my computer/printer and sometimes the kids decorate their own. I've even added photos on some. People always love them!

[countrysunshine]

I think if someone does not see you open the gift a thank you is definitely required. I made my children send them for their graduations and my oldest sent them for his wedding.

Now, on the other hand, I hate receiving thank you notes from people I gave a gift in person. I got married, moved into our first home, graduated high school and had a baby all in the same year. It seemed all I did was send thank you notes. I don't want thank you notes. A heartfelt "Thank you." is enough for me. I think new mothers have better things to do w/ their time.

My most recent thank note run was for my mom's funeral. I think those should be sent so people know their flowers were received and looked at.

[Quint]

My mother was a stickler for thank you notes. She always made me send them for gifts, being invited to parties or outings etc. I think it is something lost in the current age. People are too busy/lazy to show even small courtesies or manners.

Do I do it now? Well, I don't get gifts and I'm not invited to things so I really don't have anything to send them out for. The last time I sent them was when I was a kid and my mother died. I sat down and went through the funeral home book and the sympathy cards and wrote a thank you note to every single person just like I remembered sitting with mom doing a few years before when my father had died. I remembered her impressing on me that it was important that we write all these people and thank them for their kindness. Oh, they weren't probably the most professional looking things since I didn't (and still don't) have the best penmanship but the thought was there.

As I got older I sometimes would think about it from the point of view people I sent them to. In a way it was quite sad. I know it would bother me to get a thank you card from a funeral or something and see that the message inside was scribbled by a child. It would break my heart.