What makes a person think this way

dale · #1 07/21/08, 03:11 AM

My wife's aunt has moved from Kansas City, MO to the ozarks. She wont keep a job. She will go to church to beg for money to pay her bills.
She recently called a long lost cousin that she probably hasnt even talked to for years upon years, because she ran out of gas. She then didnt even offer to pay them for it.
Now with gas as high as it is many people have trouble buying it for themselves.
My mother in law is feed up with her.. they MIL and this sister and another goes to a eating establishment and oders when it is time to pay amazingly she forgets or doesnt have her Credit card.. So MIL pays.

Now dont get me wrong. I am one of the first to try to help someone in need. And try to do it where they dont even know who did it.
Many people think that Since you are a Christian then you owe what you have to them.
I know some that each holiday hit the churches for hand outs.
Had a call a few years ago from a family in a town 20 miles away wanting to know if our church couuld pay their electric bill. I told them I had to do some checking first.. one thing was to check and see if our church bank account had enough then talk to my deacons.
Called a pastor friend.. he told me he hadnt heard of that family. one of the business owners in town goes to my church to I talked to him to see what he knew..he wanted a couple of days to find out
Well guess what they was calling us because they had used all the churches in town so was branching out.
A couple of days they call back.. not remembering they asked for ele bill to be paid but now wanted rent to be paid.
there was 3 different families in this one house all drawing a check.. they blew their money so everyone else should pay for it.

Sorry it was a long rant.. but its a shame of the users.
those in need. We help.

Had a call recently of a lady here in our town.. was on a feeding tube.. had to use the Ensure.. was out .. got her 6 cases.

now that everything is going up.. I bet we get alot more.
I believe we (me) needs to be a good steward of Gods money.

dale

Bink · #2 07/21/08, 06:30 AM

A tick is going to act like a tick, and a flea like a flea. You just have to be able to tell them from folks who have hit a rough patch.

WindowOrMirror · #3 07/21/08, 06:39 AM

Some people feel this way because they truly believe that they are "unlucky" and that other people are "lucky". They think that because the Fates have it out for them that they should be given things - on occasion - by those that the Fates have been kind to.

In response to this mentality, I'll leave you with a Jefferson quote; "I am a firm believer in luck, and I find that the harder I work, the more I have of it".

R

Use Less · #4 07/21/08, 08:22 AM

Way too many people think they are entitled to be taken care of. The whole social-services/welfare system has had a lot to do with this mentality. When the system was started, to quell the Great Depression, it wasn't intended to last forever. Quite a few things that used to be shameful aren't any more; that is not all bad, but it seems to me it has gone too far the other way. The people you write about seem mostly to be lazy, self-centered, larcenous, or all the above. I don't see it as your religious duty to respond to these folks' grabbing. I also don't think you need to feel stupid if you are generous at some point and find out you have been taken advantage of. I'm one who doesn't think Phil Gramm got this wrong, but I am surprised he didn't know that speaking out would get him shuttled onto a sidetrack. SUe

ceresone · #5 07/21/08, 09:10 AM

I agree, it seems that some think they are entitled to help--from any source. One family in our neighborhood-They were each on welfare when young, when they got married, it continued! As each child married, the next family went on "public assistance". The first couple had 4 children--then, each child married and has from 2 to 5.
Her grandson got married last year--after their 5th child was born. He cant work, has head (read drug) problems, so draws SS.
Just sitting here counting, from the first couple, has sprung at least 37 more on assistance. Work, is a four-letter word.
Used to think our area was worse for this than anywhere--but internet has opened my eyes.
Bless you, Dale, for assisting the truly needy.

WindowOrMirror · #6 07/21/08, 11:01 AM

Laziness and entitlement mentality isn't tied to skin melanin content, I can tell you that for certain.

NickyBlade · #7 07/21/08, 12:31 PM

Ya know, it almost seems like this type of behavior is encouraged to a degree. I was sooo ticked off when going to pick up DD's school schedule for this year. They FORCED everyone to apply for free lunch! I argued about it because for one, you have to put all the incomes of the house on the form and I don't feel it's the school's business how much our family earns if we're not looking for a handout. Two, you have to sign the form that the incomes are true or you can be arrested for fraud... so I couldn't even just write in that we're millionaires or something stupid. They would not give us DD's schedule without the application. It just really made me mad. It was the first time in all my life I've applied for "aid" and it's not like we're eligible anyway...

Selena · #8 07/21/08, 01:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ceresone

I agree, it seems that some think they are entitled to help--from any source. One family in our neighborhood-They were each on welfare when young, when they got married, it continued! As each child married, the next family went on "public assistance". The first couple had 4 children--then, each child married and has from 2 to 5.
Her grandson got married last year--after their 5th child was born. He cant work, has head (read drug) problems, so draws SS.
Just sitting here counting, from the first couple, has sprung at least 37 more on assistance. Work, is a four-letter word.
Used to think our area was worse for this than anywhere--but internet has opened my eyes.
Bless you, Dale, for assisting the truly needy.

Which is why birth control should be mandatory when you are collecting from the safety net (aka public assistance, AFDC, "welfare", the "dole" or whatever you are so inclined to call it). So tis time to put up or shut up when it comes to helping. If you can feed it, don't breed it. If you can't provide shelter, don't have it. This applies to humans and animals.

Shepherd · #9 07/21/08, 02:50 PM

There are a lot of those "professionals" out there that bilk the system, in every direction there is, including housing. It's really sad how much time and effort they'll put into learning all the legalities of renting - or even buying something, then planning to claim bankruptcy later. If they'd just put in that much effort to getting and keeping a job, they might be surprised to find themselves a lot happier with life.

It's a shame there are people like this around. There really are people who come upon hard times and just need a little helping hand to get over rough spots, but those others are making us question everyone's intent now. It's now necessary to check people out before freely handing out money for rent, power, etc.

Our local Ladies Aid group feeds the community a weekly meal all fall and winter - for a free will donation (so no one has to go hungry), and a few evening meals during the summer months. If we hear of someone in need, we help them out. One woman had to have back surgery so we took her meals for awhile. Now that she's having to go to the city for therapy, we've decided to give her gas money. An elderly man had knee surgery, and his wife died 2 yrs ago. We took him some meals and popped in to check on him now and then. If we hear of someone who doesn't have a way to the grocery store or doctor's office, one of us takes them. A recently widowed mother of 3 small children started having some hard times financially, so we've been giving her care packages once a month with things donated from our church members from food to clothing and toys for the little ones.

It's a wonderful thing to help each other out, and invariably we'll probably be fooled once in awhile, but at least our hearts are in the right place.

FiddleKat · #10 07/21/08, 03:03 PM

My DD is eligle for the free lunch at school since we do get some food stamps. But I didn't bother to apply last year because for one, with her severe food allergies majority of the stuff on the menu she can't eat anyway. And two, I'd rather provide her lunch so I know exactly what she has.
Anyway, half way through the year last year her teacher pulled me aside and asked if DD was still on the free lunch list. I told her no, and why. And she then said, "oh that explains it." Apparently, she thought DD was still receiving the free lunch,even though she brought her lunch with her. So at lunch time they would get her "lunch" and give it to another kid or divy it up between others who apparently didn't think they were getting enough. Or something like that. So after a month of doing this, the classroom got a bill from the cafertia for DD's lunches. Since she no longer was on it. They never asked me to pay for it of course, and I wouldn't.

Edited to add: I think school's get more funding or grant money if they have a higher ratio of kids eligble for the free lunch program. That's perhaps why they encourage everyone to apply for it.

mama2littleman · #11 07/21/08, 03:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NickyBlade

Ya know, it almost seems like this type of behavior is encouraged to a degree. I was sooo ticked off when going to pick up DD's school schedule for this year. They FORCED everyone to apply for free lunch! I argued about it because for one, you have to put all the incomes of the house on the form and I don't feel it's the school's business how much our family earns if we're not looking for a handout. Two, you have to sign the form that the incomes are true or you can be arrested for fraud... so I couldn't even just write in that we're millionaires or something stupid. They would not give us DD's schedule without the application. It just really made me mad. It was the first time in all my life I've applied for "aid" and it's not like we're eligible anyway...

They can't MAKE you divulge tha information. You do have to turn in the form, but just do what we do. Write "Not Eligible" In capital letters across the pages, sign at the bottom and turn it in. Perfectly acceptable. The one secretary who tried to tell me otherwise was invited to call the family attorney if she doubted me. She backed down pretty quick.

Nikki

NickyBlade · #12 07/21/08, 06:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mama2littleman

They can't MAKE you divulge tha information. You do have to turn in the form, but just do what we do. Write "Not Eligible" In capital letters across the pages, sign at the bottom and turn it in. Perfectly acceptable. The one secretary who tried to tell me otherwise was invited to call the family attorney if she doubted me. She backed down pretty quick.

Nikki

I will remember this for next year, thank you.

I have no problem with people getting help when it's really needed... any of us could potentially fall on hard times and need a boost. Most the time though, it seems once you start helping someone out, they continue to ask for more and more. The ones you'd want to help over and over, they hide it and you never even know they're in need.

Jenn · #13 07/21/08, 07:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ceresone

I agree, it seems that some think they are entitled to help--from any source. One family in our neighborhood-They were each on welfare when young, when they got married, it continued! As each child married, the next family went on "public assistance". The first couple had 4 children--then, each child married and has from 2 to 5.
Her grandson got married last year--after their 5th child was born. He cant work, has head (read drug) problems, so draws SS.
Just sitting here counting, from the first couple, has sprung at least 37 more on assistance. Work, is a four-letter word.

Have you seen the movie Idiocracy by Mike Judge 2006? A bit too foulmouthed for the kids and some adults here. The premise is that careless shiftless folk reproduce a lot more than responsible folk and so 400 some years in the future- our heros got sent there- we are all so dumb that the Prez wins his seat by being a WWF champion and cuss words are the standard language etc. Anyway they start off to illustrate the idea with an uptight professional couple (our time) putting off reproducing forever (then at 50 when he's died she's saying she plans to save some eggs for later) ie end of the line for them and then a family tree for a shiftless fellow who between various wives and girlfriends and then the kids' similar behavior despite a few losses of children to inadequate care or supervision is very fruitful and multiplies.

YounGrey · #14 07/21/08, 07:42 PM

I think we all know someone like this! Moochers! They will take anything that they can get from anyone. It's a shameful way of living and I would refuse to play a part of it!!!

Jenn · #15 07/21/08, 07:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NickyBlade

Ya know, it almost seems like this type of behavior is encouraged to a degree. I was sooo ticked off when going to pick up DD's school schedule for this year. They FORCED everyone to apply for free lunch! I argued about it because for one, you have to put all the incomes of the house on the form and I don't feel it's the school's business how much our family earns if we're not looking for a handout. Two, you have to sign the form that the incomes are true or you can be arrested for fraud... so I couldn't even just write in that we're millionaires or something stupid. They would not give us DD's schedule without the application. It just really made me mad. It was the first time in all my life I've applied for "aid" and it's not like we're eligible anyway...

Nicky they tell us what the x= max income for any aid is and we write in ">$x,000" - I agree not their business except to know we don't qualify.

Truckinguy · #16 07/21/08, 09:02 PM

I think you can tell the truly needy because most of them are ambarrassed when they ask for help. They have some pride in themselves and asking for a little help when you need it is very difficult. I know because I have been there many years ago. Now, being financially stable, I really appreciate what it's like to really be down and out. I have had people close to me need help in recent years and most have offered to paint the house, mow the lawn, fix my truck, etc., anything to make them feel they are earning my help rather than feeling like they are getting a handout.

Quint · #17 07/22/08, 02:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Selena

Which is why birth control should be mandatory when you are collecting from the safety net (aka public assistance, AFDC, "welfare", the "dole" or whatever you are so inclined to call it). So tis time to put up or shut up when it comes to helping. If you can feed it, don't breed it. If you can't provide shelter, don't have it. This applies to humans and animals.

I'd also like to see anyone who receives assistance from the government or anyone who is employed by the government barred from voting. You can't keep a Republic when people can essentially vote themselves a check from the public treasury.

indypartridge · #18 07/22/08, 05:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FiddleKat

I think school's get more funding or grant money if they have a higher ratio of kids eligble for the free lunch program. That's perhaps why they encourage everyone to apply for it.

Bingo! Our school district is constantly "encouraging" people to sign up so they can collect more State funding. The high school principal writes a column for our local newspaper, and he regularly beats this drum.

MarleneS · #19 07/22/08, 06:41 AM

People do what works for them. When it doesn't work we try something else, right?

This is also true for the people who attempt to justify why they do things that enable someone else to have a lifestyle the enabler is strongly against.

Marlene