Farm population (human) growing ... accidental commune?

SFM in KY · #1 03/02/08, 10:59 AM

I was talking to someone the other day about our "expanded" farm population and they were so mind-boggled over it I had a hard time keeping my face straight. However, when they finally understood what was happening, they looked at me and asked ... quite seriously, I think ... "Did you bring home a lot of animals when you were little, kind of the "it followed me home, can I keep it?" sort of thing?"

At that point, I really did have to laugh. I used to do that ... and maybe that set a pattern. (Which may be why I have way too many horses, way too many dogs, several cats ... and now rabbits.)

Started out sensibly ... DH and I ... retired, no kids or grand-kids living anywhere close ... and none expected to move here. All of which worked for both of us.

An injury four years ago left me with vision impairment so I could no longer drive ... which was very limiting.

A very good friend of mine ... close friends for over 30 years in fact ... ended up widowed and in a difficult situation ... husband's serious illness, job loss, limited income, etc., etc. ... and it seemed practical for both of us for her to move here. She could take me places so it wouldn't mean both DH and I had to be gone for things like grocery shopping, etc. and it would allow her to manage on the SS payments as her health wouldn't permit her to go back to work full time.

That's working well.

Then about 18 months ago I convinced friends, a younger couple (30-ish), that it would be a good move to come to this area. Every thing in place but unfortunately they took a real financial beating on selling their west coast property. They bought 4 acres next to us, then a series of "it can't happen" things did happen ... long story ... so they are still living in their "temporary" travel trailer more or less in our backyard.

And that is working amazingly well too, for a number of reasons. They have horses too, so we're dividing the chores ... she is a professional equine photographer so does all my ad photos now ... also has REAL sourdough and is providing homemade sourdough bread at least three times a week! She's going to help with the garden ... I've agreed to provide butchered rabbits ...

So anyway ... we now have three "separate and unrelated" households here on the farm, which is, in fact, a bit mind bending even to me at times. I guess my mother should have kept insisting "No, we can't keep another dog" all those times when I was a kid and it followed me home!

HomesteadBaker · #2 03/02/08, 01:46 PM

Wow! How cool. If it works, and there is an equitable division of labor, that is a great way to boost the self-suffiency level for everyone involved!

Kitty

Ninn · #3 03/02/08, 03:07 PM

Sounds like my place. We are actually getting out next "stray" from Venezuela. She will be here in May, along with her new baby.

Grandmotherbear · #4 03/02/08, 04:56 PM

Communes can be fun..just be careful. My dear exmotherin law commented once years later on how hard she found it to keep a straight face, back when my ex and i were living in the commune during college-everyone was sitting around in the living room talking about equal rights for women, except for you and Geraldine (the only 2 women in the commune) and you two were waiting on the men hand and foot

But I often think that "intentional communities", with a little bit more privacy than our commune provided, would be a very good way to provide yourself with both friends and assistance with things that need more than 1 person to get done timely.

silentcrow · #5 03/02/08, 05:09 PM

Sounds like a situation I wish I could find.

SFM in KY · #6 03/02/08, 06:13 PM

The first "addition" was planned, of course, but GF (girl friend) and I have been close friends, as I said, for more than 30 years. We actually had a business together for over 6 years and were still friends after that. She and I could not live in the same house together for any length of time but we can live side by side ... in separate houses ... and definitely stay friends. We have the same attitudes about most things and a pretty laid back outlook on the things where we are different. It also helps that the "agreement" involves her doing the things I cannot do, 90% of the driving. She cannot do any of the outside work and we knew that going into the situation ... so no conflicts as to who was supposed to do what or who isn't doing what they were supposed to do.

The younger couple was definitely unplanned ... but circumstances put them in a difficult position which we were able to help with but we aren't "subsidizing" financially. Husband is the only one that is employed full time, wife has always been self-employed, pro photographer, artist, website designer, etc. He works night shift so they are on a schedule that would make morning chores difficult ... DH and I are more tired at night ... so the division of chores works well ... and for both of us, either can take over all the chores for one or two days, allowing at least the occasional weekend away together.

It isn't expected to be permanent for them, although they will still be next-door neighbors once they get their own home on the acreage ... but at least at the moment, everyone seems to feel they are contributing something necessary to the group ... and nobody feels as if they are being a burden.

In my case, especially, the driving limitation was driving me nuts ... well, still does at times, but it's better now that GF is here and can do the town trips. DH doesn't like to drive in town, we always have work here on the farm that we're behind on and having to stop everything and drive me into town to get groceries, etc. took up half a day and was always inconvenient.

To say nothing of the fact that I have been driving myself wherever I needed to go since I was 16 years old! Frustrating, to say the least!

One of the main reasons I think it is working well is that each of us is "best" at something different ... something the others do not do well ... so we can work to our individual strengths.

HilltopDaisy · #7 03/02/08, 06:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by silentcrow

Sounds like a situation I wish I could find.

What are you looking for?

I think it sounds wonderful!!

Christine in OK · #8 03/02/08, 06:45 PM

I think it sounds great! Years ago, we looked at a place with a house and a metal building that could have easily been turned into a house. We were sent to look at it by an elderly couple we knew who were wanting to buy it, move into the house and have us renovate and move into the 'barn'. That way, I could have my garden and acreage (before we did), and he and his wife would have had a family close by to help take care of them as they aged.

<sigh> Unfortunately, when Mr. Alcorn called to make an offer, he found out the ad was a misprint, it was $100,000 more than printed, and much more than he wanted to pay - not more than he could pay, but more than we all felt the place was worth at the time, so we had to let it go.

SFM in KY · #9 03/03/08, 06:00 AM

I also forgot to mention, one more big benefit of having two more "households" on the farm, just a few steps away. When I have a weak moment and bake a panful of brownies I can distribute some for everyone ... leaving just one brownie for myself!

This assuages my "chocolate addiction". Since I only keep one package of brownie mix in the house at a time so I can't bake another panful ... so instead of eating 3 or 4 brownies I only eat one!

Definite benefit: the extra winter weight is coming off!