Frustration re: time management

[Zookeeper]

I guess I just need some encouragement...maybe this is not the right forum...but DH and feel like we work almost round the clock and still can't get everything done. We have 4 children and they all have jobs around here and help a lot but I guess maybe we set our goals too high.

DH works full-time away from home, I am home full-time. I work all day while kids are in school...gardening, splitting firewood, tending animals, household chores, errands, planning, etc... except for a few minutes on the puter ...but usually when I'm here I still working cause I'm trying to research info needed for homesteading.

I don't watch TV. I don't have any friends so I'm not on the phone or visiting. I very rarely do anything for "myself."

We're still new at this so there's a lot of time spent on research. The main problem is that we are building our own house while we live in it AND we're doing animals (growing AND butchering), a big garden, etc. Plus we do things like work on our own cars which takes even more time. If we weren't building the house...we'd have more time...but that's not an option...

We don't want to give anything up...are we just not working hard enough? (I mean...I guess we *could* get out in the garden at midnight and work by flashlight... )

Do we need to hire some help with some things? Kind of goes against our "do-it-yourself" mentality, plus our income is just enough to maintain what we're already doing...don't know how we'd pay to hire help...

Any helpful advice or testimonials would be appreciated

[the mama]

Find JOY in your day. I enjoy playing with my goats and brushing them. I love to look over my small garden and anticipate the harvest. I cherish the times my 15 y/o DD will talk and share her ideas/plans. When cleaning, I give thanks for my house. Dirty dishes mean a fed family. Cat pans = loved pets. I am physically handicaped, so when I am able to complete all my chores with out help, I rejoyce. It feels good to go to bed knowing all is done.
Don't lower your expectations, the house will be finished, and the children will learn from helping.
Thank God that you can do this while you're young and then rest when you are older.

[trixiwick]

I don't really see how you can do everything while still learning, while your house is being built, and with four kids. I'm amazed you're managing to do what you are, but I'm afraid you might be on the track to burnout, if you're not there already.

My advice is to consider hiring out some help on occasion (do you really need to do everything on your cars right now?) and stop taking on new projects. In my experience, once you've learned how to do something once or twice, it becomes much, much easier and more efficient (canning, making wine, building critter shelters), but you have to expect the expertise to come slowly the first time you do something. I'd suggest limiting the number of new things you're trying to learn. There will be time to do everything you want, just try not to do it all at once! (I could stand to listen to this advice myself)

Longer-term, I might suggest trying to increase your cashflow situation, for your peace of mind and for your kids. Living hand-to-mouth is tough enough for just a couple. With kids, "unexpected expenses" are pretty much to be expected!

[Melissa]

One thing I admire about my Amish friends is that they truly enjoy the process of whatever they are doing. They don't rush through the work to have fun, the work is fun. I have adapted this feeling into my life and most days I feel like I have not worked at all, even though I have been very busy doing things, they are all enjoyable and fun to me. Gardening, taking care of animals, cooking, canning, sewing, carrying firewood, etc... many people dream of being able to do these things! And I bet you sleep good at night!!!!!

[Zookeeper]

Let me clarify...I did not mean to sound like I was complaining...I love working hard...and being busy in a productive way...so that's not the problem...I don't want to do LESS...and I am enjoying what I am doing mostly...

I just used to be really good at prioritizing and I feel like I must not be doing well at that any more...I mean I prioritize and plan on a daily basis...and do the things that take top priority and have to let the other things go...but for example...here's what we *need* to do this weekend:

butcher meat goats
probably have a goat kidding...2 nannies
move a lot of dirt in garden by hand to level out new terraces
bring home several truckloads of manure/compost and get it on garden
plane siding and put it on house
split/stack firewood
work on taxes for 2007
paperwork for DH's new job
finish milking stand/stall in barn for milk goats
make garden map
fix brakes on DH's truck

that's just the big stuff, then there's cooking 3 meals a day at home, cleaning, etc...the usual stuff that still has to get done. I think you get the idea.

I wish I could do all of this while kids are in school but some things I physically can't do by myself.

I know we just need to do what we can, and forgive ourselves the rest...but hard for a type A personality to do...

[Zookeeper]

of the responses...

so how does a very goal-oriented person like me "enjoy the process" of what I'm doing (important...I know) and still make sure I'm marking stuff off my to-do list? To me, those two activities seem incomatible (in my mind, anyway). Do I need to have the mentality that I just don't *care* if the siding sits in the yard and warps for the next 6 months? (not being sarcastic...but this is how I see it!)

And while I want the children to learn responsibility, I don't want them to feel like they're spending their weekends "working" either...I do want them to remember things being fun...

As for increasing the income...we are not destitute...and DH works hard and there is the possibility of making more this year than he's ever made...but he's really gonna make what he makes and some things are beyond his control...we will have to make the best of whatever he is able to do...I am not going to work outside the home right now (and that wouldn't help us anyway...less time spent at home would not get more done at home )

I am going to look hard at our budget and see if I can't come up with a little $ to pay for some help on a couple of things.

And trixiwick...you're right...we have taken on a lot, and don't need to start anything else new...I wanted to get rabbits this spring, but we'll have to see...DH does have issues of not finishing something before he starts something new and I'm going to try and talk to him about that too.

[Melissa]

You may just have to accept that some things won't get done this weekend. Put a list together with the things that absolutely must be done, then plan who can do them. Some things may need to be done together, some things may take only one or two people.


butcher meat goats
probably have a goat kidding...2 nannies
move a lot of dirt in garden by hand to level out new terraces
bring home several truckloads of manure/compost and get it on garden
plane siding and put it on house
split/stack firewood
work on taxes for 2007
paperwork for DH's new job
finish milking stand/stall in barn for milk goats
make garden map
fix brakes on DH's truck

Which of these is absolutely essential? Work on that first and then work down the list.

[Linebacker]

Zookeeper, I applaud you and your family for what you are doing and all that you are trying to accomplish.
My suggestion would be to set your goals differently, i.e. let get the living room wall painted be a goal you can accomplish now vs finish the house. I bet that if you downsize you daily goals you would see just how far you've actually made it toward your overall goals.

[DocM]

If you don't want to pare down what you have/do (and that would be my first suggestion) then teach yourself the fundamentals of time management. I am a single mom who raised 4 kids (homeschooled), and have successfully (but not always joyfully) ran my own organic farm (livestock and produce) with the help of my kids only. It can be done. It may be that you need to prioritize some things, and let others go. You may simply be doing to much in regards to your livestock - they probably don't require as much TLC as you think they need. You need to streamline each and every job - starting with writing down each step of every process. I've written an article:
http://intothesunrise.blogspot.com/2...cheduling.html
The concepts of goal setting and time management can be adapted to any project.

[DocM]

I'm looking at your list:

butcher meat goats - send them to the processor to butcher. Your time IS money.
probably have a goat kidding...2 nannies - this isn't work, they'll most likely kid without your help. Helping to dry and dipping navels takes about 10 minutes. Get a cheap baby monitor and keep and "ear" on them. Feel their ligaments, then you'll have about 12-24 hours of good notice.
move a lot of dirt in garden by hand to level out new terraces - before or after you do the manure? Does it have to be done this weekend? Can it be done a little at a time?
bring home several truckloads of manure/compost and get it on garden - commendable - my garden is under a foot of snow. Maybe you should consider a smaller garden if this one is so much work right now.
plane siding and put it on house - I'd move this to top of list, right after the goat stalls
split/stack firewood - I'm going to make an assumption here. Where you live, you can already garden, so it must be considerably warmer than my zone. Do you have to have more firewood this weekend? If not, put this off. The siding will keep the house warmer, the garden feeds you. If you actually need to be heating your house - then maybe the gardening chores can be put off until it's warmer.
work on taxes for 2007 - dare I say it? They're not due until April 15
paperwork for DH's new job - Why isn't DH doing his own paperwork?
finish milking stand/stall in barn for milk goats - This needs to be done before the goats kid - move to top of the list. Honestly, you're going to need to milk those goats the first day, even if you don't do CAE prevention, your new mothers will have way too much milk, and you'll want to freeze some colostrum.
make garden map - now, with all the other gardening chores you have listed, I'd assume your garden is mapped and ready to plant? I'd put this off - I'm thinking your won't be actually planting this weekend. There are free programs available for garden plotting, check tucows.com
fix brakes on DH's truck - My son can do a complete brake job (rotors, pads, even new slave cyl) on any vehicle, in about 4-5 hours. The parts are about $250 for his pickup. Again, time is money. Would it be worth the extra $100 labor charge for a garage to do the work?

YOU don't have to do everything. Not everyone in your family is going to be on the same page with regards to how important each of these jobs is. Every job can't all be equally as important. And as for your kids remembering that life was "fun" - you aren't doing them any favors. They're part of the family - and every member needs to pull together. Let them work for 5-6 hours and have an equal amount of time off. I'm pretty sure a couple of kids could level your garden, split and stack firewood, or spread manure. Mine could - by the time they were 7 or 8. That's life in the country.

[MarleneS]

Zookeeper -- Perhaps it would help if you accepted that life is about hills and valleys and not about a smooth flat road? Valleys are the times where you pause and question .... do I need to be doing something else? Am I using my time wisely? Do I see accomplishments? How am I doing do far? Hills are the times where you are aware of the questions being answered to your satisfaction?

Valley's are great places to set a new goal, take on a challenge, but also a day to say...it's okay if I take today off in the hopes of recharging myself for tomorrow.

Hope tomorrow is in the very least a start up the next hill.

If anyone tries to tell you their life is all hills without valley's it's a big old lie for you can not have hills without valleys

Marlene

[Christine in OK]

I can offer some sympathy - your list sounds like mine. I've let the garden set for now, though I really ought to be cleaning out the asparagus bed and prepping the rest. We had the carpets cleaned on Monday and I still do not have a stick of furniture in my living/dining rooms, and the two younger boys have slept in their sleeping bags the last two nights (first night because the carpets were wet, they all slept in the game room, second night because we had been gone all day long and the rest of their furniture is still piled on their beds).

I agree with Melissa and DocM - prioritize. Though it sounds like a good idea to let that siding lie, you'll feel so much better when you've made progress on the house, and the house will look so much better; those goats are very important, especially if you're planning on using them for meat and milk. Make their care a priority. Let the kids help - I know you have some fairly young ones, but there are still a lot of things they can do; especially if you're right there and they are being extra hands for you.

Good luck, and congratulations - I know you're working for something you really want.

[michiganfarmer]

Originally Posted by Zookeeper

...

Any helpful advice or testimonials would be appreciated

how many hours per day are you on the internet?

[PineRidge]

Originally Posted by michiganfarmer

how many hours per day are you on the internet?

Hey now! Why are you on here? Oh that's right, your waiting for the sap to run for your busy season

OK Zookeeper, we had a thread on here a while ago that some of us explained that when you are doing any building, remodeling or retrofitting of a home, expect it to cost twice as much and take three times longer than planned.

Look at your list and see if there is anything you can do today, by yourself, that you can finish. Then make a weekend list for jobs that require two people. Then make a list for what the kids can actualy help with (Not being a hindrance).

If there is nothing that you can accomplish yourself, then spend your time preparing and freezing meals for the weekend. Get your shopping done while the kids are in school, make sure the laundry is done... anything that will make the weekend easier on you.

Trust me, it can be done, we completely gutted our house and rebuilt it from the studs up right after the birth of our fourth child. I also had gardens, canning, and animals. I was busy, but I don't stress if something didn't get done.

[Zookeeper]

Originally Posted by michiganfarmer

how many hours per day are you on the internet?

Some days not at all, some days between 30 mins. to an hour...some of which is spent researching how to do something in the garden, how to make cheese, how to make soap, how to butcher, etc. Sometimes I stop by here to read what's being discussed to see if there's anything I might find helpful.

Normally I don't come to the internet much to whine I am having a much better day today. I think I make wise use of my time for the most part, I get everything done during the week that can be done, including having the kids help me out when they come home from school. The rest has to be done on the weekend by all of us.

One trap I have fallen into is that my DH is very overly optimistic about what can realistically be accomplished in a given amount of time. I sometimes have to reel him back in to reality. Oddly, he is the "enjoy the process" person while I am the organizer/type A/work the list person.

I do appreciate all the advice as well as the sympathy