have you ever just set back and wondered?

[daytrader]

How did I get to were I am now? Really?

At a young age I wanted to be a State Trooper. Then I wanted to be a stock broker, but at age 7 I wanted to be a trash man. Yet, farm is were I always felt happy. The family had a large farm. My folks were the profit center that ran the farm. They had nothing to do with the farm other then MONEY to run it. They were a military man and a lawyer.

I just wanted to drive the big truck and pick up the goodies rich folks threw out. I watched the trash man dig into my ma and pas trash pick out the toys and dump the rest in the back of that big machine.

I wanted to do that so bad. Why I really do not know.

I never wanted to go to collage, yet I did. I never wanted to be a doctor, a lawyer or even a dentist. Never interested me. Money did not interest me. The farm was a treat to me. They had GUNS, they fished, had beer and big tractors.

They mowed the grass down with a combine. That was cool. Yet, I was told or listened to the farm is a big money operation.

I NEVER was held back or told what to do.

I chose to be a union laborer. For a second. Then I found If I could drive the trucks legal I could be a trash man. The guy driving the truck that i seen in my past. I was and did take the chance to experiment with substances.

Heck I drove more trucks then most truck drivers before I got my chaffers lic. Yet, it meant nothing to me as I was young.

I had to do the thing. You know do what you have to do. I tried it all. I found sales very rewarding. I did not like it, yet folks kept offering me more and more to work for or with them. Selling their crap. I did work for Edwards. That was cool. Just really I was not happy.

I always drove a truck. From age 15 I had 18 wheels. My first vehical I owned my self was a 10 wheeler. I drove it to high school loaded with scrap metal daily. This is just a taste of my experiance. We all have them.

I just sit back and look back and think..... HOW DID I GET HERE.

I am very happy. I get to run my own company. I have contracts to fill and think it is great. I do moon light. Marketing and sales I am told is in my blood, yet I am not sure.

I am a little upset I do not have my live stock anymore. I am upset we planted corn for a ethonal plant contract on land we normally plant hay on. (the plant is paying 20% over cost and we own 4% of the plant)

Right now money is very tight for me. I did do a dumb thing and buy truck to put a team in. Yet it sits. That broke me and the team were not worthy. Just, I took the gamlbe and now have a truck and no money in the bank. I live debt free.

Over all we will be fine, just I set back and think. What if............

[simplefarmgirl]

when i was a kid i wanted to be a race car driver then a truck driver,, mind you I have a hard time backing up a one ton farm truck.. I have always lived with animals and kids, when i left home at 17 .I wanted a farm and big family. Ok the family started at 18 but the farm really didnt catch up for a few more yrs. Through alot of trial and errors, I am now happily married to a great guy, we together have 5 children, 4 mine, 1 his - all ours, 8.5 grandchildren and a farm,,,, Only part of farm I would change is more flat ground and bigger garden space... But farming is in my blood,I am happiest out in barn delivering my babies, watching baby bunnies come out and explore for the first time, having a baby pig squeal and talk to you for the first time. My husband has the same desires and drive i do to live debt free and self suffience on our little piece of the mountain,, its nice when you finally have some one that sees the whole picture with you, makes the work so much easier. I did at one point have alife that required me to dress in 3-4" heels panty hose and dresses, make up,, not much call for high heels in the barn, maybe to irragate the garden,, give me work boots and overall and long skirts and I am happy

[daytrader]

Originally Posted by simplefarmgirl

when i was a kid i wanted to be a race car driver then a truck driver,, mind you I have a hard time backing up a one ton farm truck.. I have always lived with animals and kids, when i left home at 17 .I wanted a farm and big family. Ok the family started at 18 but the farm really didnt catch up for a few more yrs. Through alot of trial and errors, I am now happily married to a great guy, we together have 5 children, 4 mine, 1 his - all ours, 8.5 grandchildren and a farm,,,, Only part of farm I would change is more flat ground and bigger garden space... But farming is in my blood,I am happiest out in barn delivering my babies, watching baby bunnies come out and explore for the first time, having a baby pig squeal and talk to you for the first time. My husband has the same desires and drive i do to live debt free and self suffience on our little piece of the mountain,, its nice when you finally have some one that sees the whole picture with you, makes the work so much easier. I did at one point have alife that required me to dress in 3-4" heels panty hose and dresses, make up,, not much call for high heels in the barn, maybe to irragate the garden,, give me work boots and overall and long skirts and I am happy

do you do any maple taping on your farm?

[menollyrj]

I have often shared with friends that if someone told me ten years ago this was where I'd be, I would have thought they were crazy.

I was a young lieutenant in the Army, unhappily married, with the world in front of me. Since then, I've divorced, remarried, left the Army, had 3 kids, moved to rural East TN, started teaching high school chemistry, and have a small farm. I couldn't have foreseen this in my wildest dreams, but I'm sure happy I'm here!

-Joy

[bumpus]

.
Main thing about the trash business is that business is always picking up and there are always surprises to be found.

There are also free values to be had, that others could not see, and threw away.

bumpus
.

[daytrader]

Originally Posted by bumpus

.
Main thing about the trash business is that business is always picking up and there are always surprises to be found.

There are also free values to be had, that others could not see, and threw away.

bumpus
.

You are right, but that isn't my type of trucking now.

We do truckload and expedited freight. We try to ship what the air planes cannot because of certain laws. Yet we try to beat the plane. Everyone dose air freight. WE DO THE FREIGHT THE PLANE CAN NOT DO. Yet has to be there Yesterday!

Most OTR types and Expedited folks can not understand it. FED EX is one of my customers. They have Fed Ec custom critical. They should be able to figure this out.. Yet, they can not.

I was offered 160k a year to work in Ohio for a company LAST WEEK. I told them IF I COULD WORK FROM HOME. I would do it. They said no. I would have to be a closer. So I will just keep doing what I do. I am no threat to them.

[daytrader]

I sit hear and wander off. Thinking. I never thought I would be were I am or going were I think I am.

[daytrader]

were did you think you would be now? What did you see your self doing and what are you doing?

Life is funny. Yet, we deal with it.

[Wildwood Flower]

I wonder the same thing all the time.

In college I was engaged to a Saudi Arabian student--for 4 years. At the last minute I sent him a telegram--SORRY!

So that was probably a good move.

Instead I married a Viet Nam Vet & had 2 kids, moved to the mountains, ended up with a wonderful international business of my own, grew a little garden, and thoroughly enjoyed my life--except for the husband.

Divorced the Vet...married a cowboy...from Oklahoma.

Fast Forward another 18 years...and here I am in Oklahoma. My husband broke his neck and I'm his caretaker now...and quite frankly, feel kind of stuck. My kids are on opposite sides of the country, one in Oregon, one in New York. I miss my kids, and my new grandson. I miss the mountains and my little garden.

I know I'm in a rut of my own digging. But I made the choices. Who knows what the next 20 years will bring. Maybe I'll be able to get back to the mountains--we did buy a little mobile home there this year--and we're visiting so far.

I do know one thing, I am putting in my will..."Please don't bury me in Oklahoma."

Oklahoma's okay in many respects, but it's not "glorious".

[Jinxie]

Oh My what a question!

Where I thought I'd be? Single, no kids, traveling extensively internationally for work. (I wanted to be a consultant) Living in the city etc.

Instead? I ended up w/ kiddos, married, and we live in a rural area. While the kids and hubby love it. Sometimes I do stop and think WTH am I doing here?

It's something I've been struggling with. I'm turning 30 in a very short period of time, and serious anxiety is kicking up....to the point, I've actually sought "help" for it. Ever since I could remember "30" is the number that I was marking myself at. For what? I don't know. Just 30 seemed to the end of my "kid" years?

I don't feel like I've done anything in my life. Or maybe it's that Ive not done what I've wanted. My parents died very young (IMO - 43 and 44) and it's still very new (both since 05) so that may have something to do with it.

It's just that yearning for more. I also think it's the isolation up here for me. I'm used to the big city, and while you didn't know your neighbors per se, people were around. Hubby and kiddos have adapted quite well, met people etc, but I haven't. so maybe it's more of feeling "left out"


oops, this turned into a rambling...Well, as you can see, yup, I sit back and wonder quite frequently LOL.


Lisa

[daytrader]

Originally Posted by Wildwood Flower

I wonder the same thing all the time.

In college I was engaged to a Saudi Arabian student--for 4 years. At the last minute I sent him a telegram--SORRY!

So that was probably a good move.

Instead I married a Viet Nam Vet & had 2 kids, moved to the mountains, ended up with a wonderful international business of my own, grew a little garden, and thoroughly enjoyed my life--except for the husband.

Divorced the Vet...married a cowboy...from Oklahoma.

Fast Forward another 18 years...and here I am in Oklahoma. My husband broke his neck and I'm his caretaker now...and quite frankly, feel kind of stuck. My kids are on opposite sides of the country, one in Oregon, one in New York. I miss my kids, and my new grandson. I miss the mountains and my little garden.

I know I'm in a rut of my own digging. But I made the choices. Who knows what the next 20 years will bring. Maybe I'll be able to get back to the mountains--we did buy a little mobile home there this year--and we're visiting so far.

I do know one thing, I am putting in my will..."Please don't bury me in Oklahoma."

Oklahoma's okay in many respects, but it's not "glorious".

I am sure it is hard. You have a guy that cares for you and you HAVE to deal with him.

The kids our out doing what they do. Being grown ups trying. You have been there.

I do think you are right, and may need some family time. When was the last time the kids caem to you? If its been a while MAKE them come.

[daytrader]

Originally Posted by Jinxie

Oh My what a question!

Where I thought I'd be? Single, no kids, traveling extensively internationally for work. (I wanted to be a consultant) Living in the city etc.

Instead? I ended up w/ kiddos, married, and we live in a rural area. While the kids and hubby love it. Sometimes I do stop and think WTH am I doing here?

It's something I've been struggling with. I'm turning 30 in a very short period of time, and serious anxiety is kicking up....to the point, I've actually sought "help" for it. Ever since I could remember "30" is the number that I was marking myself at. For what? I don't know. Just 30 seemed to the end of my "kid" years?

I don't feel like I've done anything in my life. Or maybe it's that Ive not done what I've wanted. My parents died very young (IMO - 43 and 44) and it's still very new (both since 05) so that may have something to do with it.

It's just that yearning for more. I also think it's the isolation up here for me. I'm used to the big city, and while you didn't know your neighbors per se, people were around. Hubby and kiddos have adapted quite well, met people etc, but I haven't. so maybe it's more of feeling "left out"


oops, this turned into a rambling...Well, as you can see, yup, I sit back and wonder quite frequently LOL.


Lisa

Do not think you have not done anything with your life.

Really do not. Have you done what you dreamed of. Prob not. ARE YOU HAPPY. Have you missed out. YES. We all miss out. Part of being an adult.

Just you can sit back and think WOW I am rich. I have what so many want and can not have. You may have missed out on that motor cycle ride half way accross the country, but look at what you have now.

Dose a house wife get respect? No. Should they? HELL YES.

[Jinxie]

Originally Posted by daytrader

Do not think you have not done anything with your life.

Really do not. Have you done what you dreamed of. Prob not. ARE YOU HAPPY. Have you missed out. YES. We all miss out. Part of being an adult.

Just you can sit back and think WOW I am rich. I have what so many want and can not have. You may have missed out on that motor cycle ride half way accross the country, but look at what you have now.

Dose a house wife get respect? No. Should they? HELL YES.

Thanks, I need the dose of reality!

I'm rich in alot of ways, and truly have many things to be thankful for, it's just that yea, I do feel like I've missed so much that I want to do.

I'm not a housewife, I have a full time career, and also go to school part time. I tried to do the SAHM and I have great admiration for that are. It was more stressful than any deadline I had to be under, more noisy than any conference room, and more demanding than any CEO! DH brought his job home and I back in the 8-5 world. Which we thought would help. But it hasn't..it's only made me realize even more what I"m missing out on!

[daytrader]

Originally Posted by Jinxie

Thanks, I need the dose of reality!

I'm rich in alot of ways, and truly have many things to be thankful for, it's just that yea, I do feel like I've missed so much that I want to do.

I'm not a housewife, I have a full time career, and also go to school part time. I tried to do the SAHM and I have great admiration for that are. It was more stressful than any deadline I had to be under, more noisy than any conference room, and more demanding than any CEO! DH brought his job home and I back in the 8-5 world. Which we thought would help. But it hasn't..it's only made me realize even more what I"m missing out on!

Its a constant battle you will deal with.

[SAVAGE]

when i was a kid i wanted to be an architect make good money buy my own land and build a beautiful home and ranch, i even had a plan to get there, i was going to go to annapolis get a free education fullfill my obligation to the military for the free school and go on from there, well it didnt quite work out that way, a couple of bad decisions as a young man and i was off in a new direction, i never went to college or became an architect but i am about to retire from the military, i own my own land and have designed my home which i am going to build, not the great big glorius house from my childhood but mine from the ground up.

the plan may have changed but the goal has not, i consider all of my trials and tribulations up to this point as the life experience i needed to get here.

i spent my first 15 years in the military wondering what the heck i was going to do when i get out, well my incredible woman says to me one day, why dont you just do what you have always wanted to do, that was the light bulb that changed my life, we talked about it for hours made plans decided where we wanted to live and what we would do with the land. a month later we bought our land out right and have been preparing ever since, 5 years of prep and saving and we are a little over 4 months from starting our dream.

i couldnt be happier. it is was i was born to do i have no doubt.

[Scrounger]

I am EXACTLY where I figured I would be and doing EXACTLY what I'm supposed to be doing.
I've always trusted in God to put me where he wants me to be, doing what he wants me to be doing. While things change from time to time, there are no suprises, just life.

[daytrader]

Originally Posted by Scrounger

I am EXACTLY where I figured I would be and doing EXACTLY what I'm supposed to be doing.
I've always trusted in God to put me where he wants me to be, doing what he wants me to be doing. While things change from time to time, there are no suprises, just life.

That is great!

I just seen my self further along then now. I am very happy were I am in my life right now. Just still wait to see what comes.

[EasyDay]

Originally Posted by Scrounger

I am EXACTLY where I figured I would be and doing EXACTLY what I'm supposed to be doing.
I've always trusted in God to put me where he wants me to be, doing what he wants me to be doing. While things change from time to time, there are no suprises, just life.

Good for you!
I, too, am EXACTLY where I thought I'd be.

You know how seniors in HS fill out those forms about where you see yourself in 5, 10, 20 years down the road? Well, at each reunion I have won the prize for being the ONLY person in my senior class to have done exactly what they said they would.

I said I'd retire as a Navy Chief after 20 yrs of service, then work for a corp that would pay good wages until the kids were grown and moved out, then move to a farm to live the life I feel I was meant to live all along. It's where I was meant to be, I'm certain of it.... and grateful for the blessing of it ALL!! I wouldn't dare take one moment for granted.