Daughter having twins, need advice

[claytonpiano]

My daughter found out yesterday that she is having twins. She will have a 15 month old when they are born....so.....

They are VERY limited on funds. SIL is working weekends and every night trying to finish his dissertation. What advice do you have on triplet strollers, crib ideas, sources for reduced cost of formula, where to find cloth diapers cheaper and on and on? I'm trying to help her some with the research. She is having to rest during her 9 month old's nap so her time for the internet is limited.

What have we not thought of? Is there anyone here with experience that can give us an idea of what help she will need and how much time I should expect to give to her? My dad has Alzheimer's so my time is limited, but want to help all that I can. I just know that all of you wonderful frugal folks can point me in the right directions.

[stirfamily]

My DDIL and son just had twins this past May. What helped them out alot is that there is a Mothers of Multiples club that has a sale every couple of months. She got lots of good stuff at reduced costs. You might look at see if there is such a thing in your area. This one is sponsored by one of the local churches so you might start there or have her ask at her doctor's office.
Karen in Indiana

[Mother Nature]

Congratulations! Don't worry, seek and ye shall find.

Go to www.freecycle.org and put in your city or county and state. You can also go to www.yahoogroups.com and find a freecycle group. It's wonderful. People just in your area post items they no longer need (I frequently see baby things on mine) and if you want it, you email or call them and arrange pickup. You normally need to post something to give away first.

We've given away a bunch of tiles that were sitting around in the back yard and appliances that my DH comes across. And we've been very blessed with an almost new bread machine that I use all the time and a punching bag!

I love it since you see the item going to a person who really needs it.

Hope this helps!
-Jen

[Ravenlost]

She should sign up for WIC. It was a tremendous help when I had my daughter (my kids are also 15 months apart.

She should sign up now. She will get vouchers for food stuff for herself and the baby. After the twins are born she will get vouchers for the children.

[nduetime]

My dd and I are buying clearance sale flannel and making our own cloth diapers. We found flannel on clearance for 1.00 a yard and can get four double layered diapers out of it and a couple cloth wipes from the waste.

[Wildwood Flower]

My first thought, have you talked to her about nursing her babies--it's free! You can contact a LaLeche League leader locally and they can help her out immensely--all the ins and outs.

I've known several moms who successfully nursed twins.

I know one friend told me that in some ways twins are easier as they get a little older because they entertain each other.

I love WIC--I was on it the first year they started it looooong ago. She'll need to keep her nutrition maximized.

Another good thing about LaLeche League is that it's a group of mothers who really help and support each other--with all kinds of things from bringing meals to baby clothes and equipment. They're wonderful girls!

You might also look on eBay for strollers etc., but shipping might be prohibitive. That's where I get great baby clothes, however.

We have a store in our town that only sells used baby equipment. There might be some such thing around you. And yea, Craig's List is the greatest too.

Congratulations, by the way! How exciting!

[Ashtina98]

I have 9 year old twin girls. First, most retailers offer multiples discount, just ask. Also if she will be using formula, Carnation good start is a good mailing list to get on, they will send out coupons for free cans of formula for a while then dollars off, etc. Dressing twins alike can be real cute, but it is no reason not to shop 2nd hand or accept hand me downs from others. As far as a stroller goes, I would invest in a good one that covers all the basis so they don't end up buying multiple strollers down the road, I had a jogging stroller that reclined for tiny babies and used blankets in between them for extra support, it worked great and I never used my other stroller again. Get on everybodies mailing list, pampers, huggies, gerber, whatever you can think of, it may seem annoying but the coupons can be pretty good sometimes. If using disposable diapers walmart has a brand that used to be called dri-bottoms that I felt worked better than any name brand (and my girls were the BIGGEST pee pots around).

I think the best advice I can give anyone expecting twins is to accept any help you can. They will both be sleep deprived and every little bit of help helps!!! Congratulations to you all, you're in for a lot of fun.

Dee

[Cheryl in SD]

I had twins & 22 months later had a single. Offer to babysit one morning or afternoon a week consistently. My mom babysat every Thursday morning the whole first year for me. It was a lifesaver. Get a double stroller, not a triple. You can't use a triple most places. The babies can go in one seat or you can carry one in a backpack, two in the stroller. If she has a c-section, she will need you there for at least 2 weeks.

I nursed both babies with very little supplementation, but she needs them on a schedule if she does as on demand will let them tag team her & she will be a basket case.

She needs to eat well. If that means help, then she needs to accept it. She may need to go on bed rest. If so, arrange to have meals brought to them.

Can you help her put a stock of meals into the freezer before the babies come? If you could do 2-3 once a month cooking days, she could have one meal a day taken care of for quite a while.

Diapers are spendy, if she has a washer, cloth is great. If you could, offer to do her laundry one day a week. This is something you could do at home & still watch your father. Same with babysitting one morning a week.

Have a diaper shower! Clothing is cheap at yard sales, even furniture & strollers & such, but diapers? Even if she does cloth, having disposables on hand for days out or days she is overwhelmed is great. Ask people to bring a package of any size diaper. They only stay in newborn for such a short time. I got some as big as 24 month for my shower, it was wonderful!

The babies do not need two cribs right away. They may actually sleep better in one! Mine hated being apart (they outgrew that!!!) We only get a seperate crib when they were about 8 months old.

Congratulations!!!!!

[claytonpiano]

Thanks! What great advice. Cheryl I really appreciate your response. It helps me know how I can help and watch my father.

[renee o'neill]

I have twins when they were born I had a 3 yr old and a 2yr old{she turned 2 two days before the twins.Later I had 1 more.So I had 4 under 3,get the older one potty trained as fast as possible and let her learn how to help out.Put twin needed things low enough for her to help out,and let her help.Start cooking things now,cause bedrest with twins could happen at any time.Remember lunch and breakfeast meals too.Diaper parties are great,stash a few packs of premie diapers too and ask folks to get them at stores where you can return them for different sizes.Cloth would be great but in real life with twins the first few weeks dont stress out even more.I was able to nurse both of mine untill they were able to sippy cup it,but remind her its ok to bottle feed them on and off too. Cribs get one for now car seats work great for sleeping and just as "chairs" too.I also used a double stoller in the house to move everyone around ,for one to nap and one to play in,that made it alot easier for the little one to help"get"the babies or to help out.Please ask away,we had no help with ours and found good tricks to make life workable.Also if she has any prego questions feel free,I went through alot with them. Good luck!

[Betho]

There's a great semi-annual sale in many parts of the country where you can pick up used items in good condition. I got most of everything I needed to start off there.

www.jbfsale.com to see if there's one near you.

Also WIC - they will majorly help with the cost of formula. Have her sign up for the "mom's clubs" at all the major formula manufacturers (enfamil, nestle, similac, etc) and they will send gift checks for like $5-7 off a can of formula. I personally found the best deal was at costco - 2 25.7 oz cans for $19.99. The Costco brand diapers are huggies manufactured under the kirkland name, also. I've compared the two and they are exactly the same.

See if she can qualify for any other assistance, even food stamps. Yep may be humbling but if they can get the aid while her hubby finishes up it'll help in the long run (and be a leg UP instead of a handout).

Also, when I was pregnant the state had a program called "nurse-family partnership) where a nurse came to meet with me at my home once every week or so just to go over stuff with me. It was invaluable, and she gave me many many things for DD including clothing, a brand new crib mattress, a bassinet, a new boppy, and other things. She was like a mentor to me, I was sad when we moved and we had to part ways.

But yeah, ads on freecycle and craigslist will help out, too.

[fostermomma]

I don't have twins but I have two two year olds and a 14 month old. I get alot of things from a "once upon a child store". It is a used childrens store. I got a great triple stroller there. They also have some new items. I can also tell them what items i am looking for and if they get it in they will hold it for me.

[Ohio dreamer]

Look for a local twins and multiplies club. They have great support resources, people who have been there and done that and many have sales in the spring and fall for their used clothes and stuff that's open to the public. My SIL is very active in her group and I know there was one where we lived when we were in the US. Have her check with her OB/GYN, libraries, WIC or the Le Leche group to see it there is a similar club in her area. (Sorry I have no idea how my SIL learned about theirs)

[MorrisonCorner]

Had a friend who found out her fertility treatments worked very well.. twins.. There was a magazine, the name escapes me but it was directed at parents with twins and specific to many of the special things twins go through. She got a subscription as a gift and said it was the best gift... it helped her with tips on handling them as tiny babies and with their development as they got older.

I suspect the magazine is.. duh... Twins!

I adopted 2 little babies who are 3.5 months apart in age. Since the youngest was a 7 pound baby and the oldest a 3+ pound baby they were like twins!

Check out www.craigslist.com for cheap clothes, dipes and sometimes double strollers.

I agree with the double stroller idea. I have a double and it's hard enough to maneuver.

Have her sign up for WIC now and she can get formula for her oldest and food for her NOW. Then she can take the extra funds and get stuff for the babies.

I'm raising my kids without family nearby. I would LOVE to have someone come in one morning a week so I can have some freedom to be ME and not just the babies Mommy. KWIM?