Television, video games and all evil things. Rant on “modern society“

[hintonlady]

Please bear with the length of this post.


My 13 year old son has had an ongoing addiction to video games. Sometimes I even wonder if they are a tool of the devil and he is possessed. (not really)

Usually he is a wonderful boy, a hard worker and just a sweetie. We strictly limit video games due to behavior slips. Even after weeks of going “cold turkey” just an hour or so of games over a couple days turns him into a demon. I know it is the games because we have pulled them away several times and returned privileges to see the same results.

Then there is television. I am not religious and never considered myself to be a prude at all. I am remarkably open minded and used to be wild. However I still manage to get offended or embarrassed by what I see on television. On the remote possibility I find a show that isn’t obscene like the search for the next pussy cat doll (that dancing is not for a Mom and her young teen to share) they are interrupted by some awful commercial like Jack in the box guy in hot tub with wife and another couple which is rife with 70’s swinger humor and innuendo.

Can’t watch cable because prime time shows are interrupted by girls gone wild video ads. The movie channels have “mature audiences” shows with soft porn (bouncing nudity plus more) at 8 p.m. Is it just me or is everyone lost their mind? Is there a V chip for commercials because some of those are just as sick as the shows? (saw an episode of “hero” in which an actress who was portraying a HIGH SCHOOL cheerleader seductively opened her legs inviting a guy to her) I am an ADULT and should I want to see such things know where to look. The force feeding of it is what drives me crazy. The media popularizing teen sexuality is wrong. They are teens and will do as they please behind our backs, do we need to encourage them too?????

Then you see 12 year old GIRLS wearing skirts I would have blushed over at 25. These girls should be wearing pink frilly things with puppies, flowers or kittens on them, not diva or sassy on it. Some of the stuff parents allow these girls to wear scares me. They should look like little girls, NOT little women.

I am only 33 and was a wild and reckless youth and still never in my worst moments carried on like a modern preteen. One day I woke up and was a minority, someone who agreed with the religious right based on morality, which is something I never imagined would happen. I haven’t even hit 40 and can see the world changing and recollect the “good ole days”.

Why is it I can only find isolated pockets of civilized people? Why is it I can’t go into a city without seeing someone flip a driver off or a nasty clerk or customer in a store? If this isn’t the end of the world I would hate to see how it could get any worse!

Sorry for rambling, some days the world is dark and hopeless, makes me wonder why I even bother with anything decent at all....................

[cbarj]

My Momma always used to say, "Garbage in, garbage out." When we choose to value animal life over human life and reject absolute truth, society turns into people who act like animals and create for themselves only truth that is relative.

I hear you loud and clear. You're not alone in your disenchantment.

~Christy

[retiredbop]

The deep mountains of Wyoming or Idaho are looking better every year.

I lament the demise of civilization. That's why we don't have cable. That's why my daughter wasn't allowed any video game I had not already played. It's why the "first date" was always supper at our house and a family game night.

I think the biggest part of the problem is those who choose to remain quiet in the face of this uncivilized behaviour. Llike not calling someone out for parking in the handicapped parking area when they obviously don't need it.

What can be done. I'm not sure it helps at all, but I try VERY hard to live as an example to others. Waving them through the intersection first, holding doors open for them, offering to assist reaching the top shelf in Wal-Mart, giving them the three cents they are short (except for cigarettes), and not only watching my own language in public but actually correcting others if they are using language I wouldn't want my mother/wife/daughter to hear. Who knows, maybe some kid notices and thinks, "Wow, that was cool." Maybe not?

[DocM]

Huh. My teens have access to video games and satellite tv without restrictions, and they're capable, respectful, hardworking members of society. I don't agree that modern technology is the root of evil in our society.

[DocM]

BTW, the deep mountains of Idaho and Wyoming have bred their own notorious criminals. Need we comment on white supremacy or the murder of a young gay man?

[donsgal]

Very simple solution Hintonlady.

Pull. The. Plug.

donsgal
tv free for almost 10 years!

[RedTartan]

It may not be the video games at all. It could be the monitor. Most people don't realize that their computer monitor actually flickers very quickly. Sometimes strobe lights can induce seizures in epileptics. Similarly, some people can be affected by the flickering of the computer's monitor. I have one son who's exactly the same way. The computer causes him to feel very, very irritable. When he doesn't use it, he's a lamb.

Try an experiment. Don't allow the computer at all until his temperament returns to normal and then allow him to use the internet, but not play any video games. If the irritability returns, then you know it's the flickering monitor and not the video games themselves.

I'm not sure if there's anything that can be done to reduce his sensitivity. My husband says that the flat screen monitors don't flicker. You may want to try one if you determine that's the problem.

RedTartan

[notenoughtime]

I was also talking to dh about this--our ds(11) acts the same way when he plays a certain game online. He also gets grounded from it and then does better but acts up when he gets to play again. Also, agree with the TV things to several shows have gotten so violent that it should not be aloud on primetime. They're so many killings,suicides, and offensive natured topics that I am thinking of shutting it off too.
And we wonder why there is violence in this world--do people consider this the norm anymore?

[sewsilly]

It's not the norm. We pulled the plug at the beginning and do not regret it. The kids can take or leave tv, when it's available. they'd rather read, or socialize, or play music.

[RoseGarden]

I agree, pull the plug and find other, more constructive entertainment for your children. If he becomes agressive or hard to manage after playing video games or watching television, it is definitely time to do something about it permanently.

It is not depriving a child if they are having that kind of reaction from video games and television. What are they being deprived of, continuing opportunities to become agressive and violent?

Find something else for them to do, go outside and build something, read, take up a musical instrument, all sorts of possibilities and all preferable to letting them continue to soak up an entertainment that they react badly to.

[mamajohnson]

We jumped off dishnetwork to skyangel tv for that reason. I still have moments of shock if I see regular cable stuff. My kids are really not interested in lots of tv watching. We dont have video games, and DH and I are discussing a Play station that was given for our kids with good intentions. There are only racing games with it, but at moments I think maybe they shouldnt have it (still in my closet at this point)
I understand what Doc is saying, some kids dont seem affected by stuff, others have a more addictive type personality and have real issues with it. Out of 5 kids, I have some of both.
One thing a friend of mine keeps saying often plays through my head when thinking about all this junk. "It is our job to protect our kids." It is our job to raise them right. So, if protecting them means pulling the plug, or taking away something that changes them, so be it.
Teens are very wishy washy, very impressionable. We must do what is best for them. Our sex crazed society (hollywood) is not what is best.
Whether a person is 'religious' our not, morals and standards are still necessary to the society.

[BAmaBubba]

hintonlady, I'm with you. While I'm 110% red blooded male, I do NOT want my children seeing the overt sexual/violent/etc crapola that passes for "family entertainment" these days. We are very selective in what they're allowed to watch. My oldest has a Nintendo DS but we must approve him playing it, we are very selective in the games and very restrictive on the amt of time he is allowed to play.

I'm with retired...though I think I'll stick to the mountains of north alabama I'm so ready to buy up about 5000 or so acres somewhere, build me a place right in the middle and dare "society" to try and invade

[woodsrunner]

We are very careful in this house also.

The kids had a nintendo system. They spent so much time fighting over it, we sold it off. Now they have gameboys. That's all they have and we watch the ratings on all games purchased.

I'm not a TV person. Since the kids returned from thier bio dads last month we've been pushing towards TV rules. As in TV time is family time. If you are in front of the TV by yourself, you probably shouldn't be.

We have no cable and find much of regular broadcast TV unsuitable for viewing. Unsuitable for the adults as well as the kids. We compensate by having a netflix account and we try to always keep several movies on hand. Netflix also has alot of cable TV programs on dvd that we rent. We can bet the good stuff without having to watch the girls gone wild ads, or even previews for shows we wouldn't watch.

Finally entertainment is a luxury. Work comes first, luxuries are earned by working. The TV doesn't go on until dinner is eaten and the kitchen and dishes are done. That means cleaned and put away.

[Wildwood Flower]

Although your son is pretty old to do it, I'd pull the plug too. I raised my kids without TV. No regrets.

[michiganfarmer]

Originally Posted by hintonlady

Sorry for rambling, some days the world is dark and hopeless, makes me wonder why I even bother with anything decent at all....................

its all been discussed here over, and over, and over, and I agree with you, its pretty pathetic.

[MelissaW]

Not to stray from the subject of media effect on children, but have you talked to his pediatrition about puberty and hormonal effects on mood? My good friend has a boy the same age, who was always sunny and cheerful. In the last year, he has had a lot of beharviour changes like the ones you're describing. She talked it over with the doctor, who said that his rapidly fluxuating hormone levels are much of the problem, along with the usual school stress and peer pressure of the age group. I'm not saying those other things count for nothing though. I'm often embarassed by tv as well, and we end up watching a lot of Discovery and Science channel to avoid it. I hope your little guy feels better soon. It's no fun to feel cranky all the time, and hard on you too, I'm sure. Good luck, hon.

[bergere]

My son had and sometimes has, the same problem when he gets to play video/computer games.

He has to earn his game time and even then he only gets to play if he gets "all" his chores done. Other wise the plug is pulled.

For TV... he doesn't watch that much. I have directv and program in only the channels we watch.. like the Science channel... great for school work, Discovery, History channel.. PBS and such.
I can lock out channels that no one should be watching.

I do not think modern things are evil but like all things, moderation is the key.

[Becca65]

You all are talking about your kids being this way.. I have that problem with my DH! he will get started and has a hard time putting it down, he says it's a way for him to relax..
thankfully he doesn't do it as often but when he does he could be on it for hours!! So he's like a little kid at times..lol

[MarleneS]

Maybe I should just keep it to myself, or maybe I should go with ... if she thought about this again, maybe she would see some connections....

Read you post...then read your signature/quite message.

Marlene

[hintonlady]

I have dreamed of pulling the plug for a long time. I actually divorced my ex over television issues (among other things). He has a big screened t.v. he loved more than his family. When I told him I wanted it out he actually had a fit.

My problem with killing my television is two part:

1. I do tend to skirt the edges of emergency preparedness thought, nothing fanatical. My current husband is a saint and very understanding of that, homeschooling and so much more. I am a bit nervous to go all "granola" on him all at once. People tend to question my sanity from time to time. Although t.v. is bad in my eyes most people don't understand that. I don't want a vacation at the menatl health ward.

2. My son will be an adult soon. I am trying to teach values and moderation. I am trying to explain the connection between priorties and responsibilities vs. entertainment. I'm afraid if I pull the plugs (aside from the initial temper tantrum) he will resort to abusing said devices as an adult. Sort of a "i'm 18 now and can play 24/7 if I want to". I don't want to make it more appealing later by declaring it taboo now.

Any ideas?

I love the netflix idea, we don't watch much television anyway so with a nice supply of movies it may not be too bad.

I thought about reading books aloud to eachother.

I wish they still had (nice) radio shows like my parents grew up with before television.