I told him so...... (ex drama)

[TxCloverAngel]

B & I divorced almost 6 years ago...
in TX you are court ordered to pay child support thru the courts.

B has always paid me directly...
I told him.. you need to go thru the courts....

but it came down to him paying me directly or me getting no support at all...
and we could not make it w/o the child support.
so I took it.

well.... he got a letter today from the atty gen telling him he is over $36,000 behind in payments and they seized his bank account and ordered he pay ASAP to avoid jail time.

of course, I'll tell em he paid me....
but from what I understand that may not matter... he didn't follow a court order.. period. we'll see.

Now.....
the stupid part...
he always paid in cash, sometimes even just signed over checks that others gave him to me to pay...... so there is NO proof!


I do wonder however.... what they'll do bout the fact that he was also ordered to carry ins on the boys and has never done that. I do plan to tell them how much we paid for ins over the last 6 yrs and see if I can get at least some of that.

My goodness is he lucky I am a nice ex-wife!!!!!

[TxCloverAngel]

lol now he calls and wants me to call the courts and fix it. he doesnt have time to deal w/ it. Oh my....

I'm nice.... But not THAT nice!

I'll do what needs done or sign what needs signed but He needs to do the work for this one.. geesh...

[michiganfarmer]

I am glad my wife and I have worked things out over the years.

[AngieM2]

"Time" to fix it may become very relative to him shortly.

I'd love to know how this works out.

Angie

[TxCloverAngel]

we get along very well. I often joke that I divorced a husband and got another child and he would be happy if my hubby and I would adopt him. lol

There is no need for this to get ugly.. but he does need to be the one to do the leg work for this. time to grow up.

[rkintn]

Well, unfortunately it may not matter what you say...the courts have a habit of liking tangible proof that something was done. Pretty stupid of him not to pay by check or mo so he would have a receipt to prove he paid it. I am sure the courts will appreciate the fact you guys are amicable but there may not be much you can do to help him out of a hole he dug for himself.

PS it may get ugly before it is over with.

[CGUARDSMAN]

I was not court ordered to pay through the state but it was suggested well the ex decided she could use this to her advantage and now i have to pay back support which equals about 1 year of the support i pay. he is indeed lucky i wish my x had not been such a broom rider....

[TexasArtist]

You shouldn't have gone on that "wife swap" show. You should just have your own show "adventures with Dana!" Poor guy he's gonna have reality slap him real fast if he doens't get on the phones. My dad worked with a guy that did this very samething and the courts didn't give a turkey feathered fanny about it. I'll try and ask my dad how it turned about and maybe that'll help get you two some pointer on how to deal with this a bit.

[MullersLaneFarm]

Dana,
You're very fortunate that he was supporting the kids. I wish more non-custodial parents were like Max and would work things out.

My children's father still acts like we were divorced 12 days ago instead of 12 years ago. He paid child support only until the child support enforcement found out where he was working through the New Hire database.

If you weren't receiving any state aid for the children, the CSE *may* take your statement into account. If you did receive state aid, then they will go after the full amount.

[TxCloverAngel]

I did have to do the food stamp/ medicaid thing for about 4 months in the beginning.... uh oh

[MullersLaneFarm]

Dana, Once the ex has opened the communication, you could always try to get the amount owed reduced. Without receipts or some sort of paper trail, it would be difficult. The state will want to recover what they paid out for food stamps & medicaid.

He (or you) can get the best information about TX child support (was the court order in TX??) here:
http://www.oag.state.tx.us/cs/index.shtml

[TxCloverAngel]

yep court order was in TX Harris County

[tiffnzacsmom]

i know I was able to go in and sign a statement releaving my ex of past due balances when he was struggling with a new baby and new wife but he was paying me directly when I went to buy a house. He would take money to my bank on payday and go to the head teller to have it deposited into my account then she would copy the reciept one for me one for him then call me to tell me what he deposited. A small bank helped but I was ok without the money that he needed.

[gleanerl]

i called the court once to tell them my ex had paid for that month (he had my son for 3 weeks for their vacation and i didn't think it necessary if he had him).
they said "ok"...
6 mths later ex got a summons to appear...
i went with him and we both got chewed out by the judge, got threatened with contempt, yet we ended up being let off the hook.
don't think that would happen today!

[TxCloverAngel]

things may be looking up....

it looks like I might be able to help if I do it BEFORE he goes to court.. there is some paper I can fill out. this might not stop him from getting into trouble for not following the court order, but it may reduce what they say he owes....

they couldnt find anywhere in their computers that I "owe" the state (foodstamps/medicaid I guess) I would owe em? hmmmmm oh well.. we'll see

[willow_girl]

Yeah, you got him by the short hairs, alright!

(But I'm sure you'll do the right thing. HEH HEH!)

[AngieM2]

Dana - the way I understand it
He owes the system what they had to pay to help you, that is taken out first from the back owed money - then you get the rest of the back owed money.

I know I was told it would take a court date to reduce or forgive my ex's amount he owed, as it was owed to the children and not me. I could not just write a letter to forgive all of it and make it quit.

Angie

[fantasymaker]

I'm in a similar situation,when we split I paid a agreed amount , when we wrote up the divorce We agreed to that amount and I paid her cash for a while but when the divorce was granted The Judge ordered it to go thru the court and that was fine . A year or so later the state came in and wanted it to go thru them they never ever forwarded a payment . So because my kid needed it I just paid her mom.In fact I paid ALL of it years ahead of time.AFTER the DD turned 18 the state came looking for the money(like my kid could do without for years?) and attached my accounts funny thing is the only money they got was $1500 an account Id set up to help my daughter with her car payment that I deposit $100 a month in .It had both our names on it so I could put in and she could take out.Th EX just haded me the $1500 back. But that might be a way out of it for your EX. Just recycle some amount of cash a few times.
The ex has been very helpful and gave me a notarized letter saying that the child support is paid in full and they have accepted it 3 times so far but what happens is they see each month as a separate event and so each payment I didn't make to them eventually triggers another round!

[Hammer4]

I would think a notarized letter from you stating he has paid his child support every month would be helpful to him and won't cost more than the minimal notary fee.

If he has to get an attorney, the attorney can get a deposition from you that states the same thing that he can then present to the court as proof of payment.

Your ex will most likely (and should) be liable for insurance premiums.

[Shepherd]

What a nightmare!