Catching Up On Sleep - Question

[Peacock]

I know that when you don't get enough sleep for a while, you have a sleep deficit and will probably have to make it up eventually. And that unfortunately you can't "bank" sleep hours, just go into debt.

Now, my DH has a habit of sleeping MUCH too little for days in a row. I *could* say it's my fault, because I am a serious night owl and sometimes stay up till 2 or 3 a.m. But I work at home and can sleep in and nap. And he's a big boy, right? He should know when his bedtime ought to be. But he'll stay up till at least one, then get up at 5:30 for work, not get off work till six...you get the picture. This translates into one Seriously Grumpy Man after a couple of days.

Friday night he decided to stay up real late again. No biggie for me; the kids don't need much these days, so I could sleep till noon if I wanted. But he was up till about 2 a.m. because he decided he needed to write thank-you notes Right Away. Why he didn't get started earlier is beyond me, but that's what he was doing. And then he had to get up at 6 for work. Last night we were invited to a poker party (nickels/dimes/quarters!) and stayed out till past midnight for that.

So, this morning we ALL slept in till 11:00 or so. Bliss! One would think that was plenty. I got up, made "breakfast" and proceeded to go about my day. (Yes, we skipped church...gotta do it once in a while!) DH ate, grumbled to me about how he felt like doing nothing all day, and went back to bed.

He slept ALL DAY LONG. I woke him up around 3 to feed him a snack with the kids. I woke him up around 7 for dinner. The kids woke him up at 11 hoping he'd come watch the ball drop. He's back in bed now, too.

He's not sick. It just seems excessive to me. I know sometimes people need extra rest - it's not as if the man is a slacker! He works very hard. I guess I'm just steamed because I could never pull that off unless I was seriously ill. They'd be waking me up for stuff all day -- where's this? I can't find that! Get me a drink! Can I call my friend and invite him over? Play a game with me! And I can't say I'd blame them for doing so. Kids need parents to spend time with them. He was here all day and didn't spend more than 20 minutes total with the kids. I asked him to watch them while I went to the grocery and when I came back he was in bed sleeping again!

Yet...when he gets tired he's in such a foul mood that honestly, you'd just as soon let him sleep.

He's mad at me right now and I've been trying all day to decipher why. It has something to do with the rainy weather, him wanting to do something and not knowing what, and my having the audacity to make a suggestion or two. I asked him to take out the garbage, put up a curtain rod and help me clean up the house. I also said it'd be helpful if he'd go to the grocery for a few things. Needless to say I took out the trash, the curtain rod is still in the package, I cleaned and shopped. Sigh.....and He is mad at ME?

I will never understand him, I swear, if I live 100 years.

Oops, I meant to ask a question and it turned into a rant instead! The question is this -- just how much sleep does it take to make up for a few missed hours?

[Spinner]

Maybe he just needed some down time?
To much sleep can make you tired just like not enough sleep does.
Could be he's coming down with something and needs the rest right now.
Lots of reasons some people need to veg-out every now and then.

[MWG]

Not sure if it is normal, but I do that from time to time... Now that I have kids I can't sleep all day long, but to catch up I will sleep in, nap and go to bed early. Sometimes it takes a couple days to catch up. Need a recharge every 3-6 months depending on what is going on...

I have done that all my life.

Sounds normal to me.

[Kstornado11]

Sounds like he may be an insomniac.... boy can I identify!!!!
The thing w/ the sleep debt & etc is SO TRUE.... you DO need to make up for lost sleep. Losing sleep can affect you in a severe physical & emtional way. I was an insomniac ( what am I saying....? Still Am! It seems to be a lifelong thing) all my life, until I found Melatonin, only thing that has ever helped me get to sleep.
Sleep is the body's ay of refreshing itself... and no wonder he is grouchy. I can't remember all the specifics, but it has to do w/ seratonin levels in the brain, some people just can't regulate them as well as others naturally can. It runs in my family, I get it from my mom, and my oldest son has NEVER been able to sleep properly, and he is 19 now. It definitely takes a toll on you.
If you have good health insurance, you may want to look into having him go in for a sleep study, as some sleep disorders can lead to other health problems. I know how frustrating it can be, on BOTH sides, so I truly hope things work out for you!!

[Shygal]

So....this man gets up at 5:30 in the morning, doesnt get off work til 6 at night. He worked Saturday till 6 pm too then stayed out with you till midnight that night.

You work from home, can sleep in, and nap when you want.

And you are mad at HIM for sleeping and not taking out the garbage, putting up a curtain rod , helping you clean up the house and go to the grocery for a few things on his day off?

[Peacock]

Originally Posted by Shygal

So....this man gets up at 5:30 in the morning, doesnt get off work til 6 at night. He worked Saturday till 6 pm too then stayed out with you till midnight that night.

You work from home, can sleep in, and nap when you want.

And you are mad at HIM for sleeping and not taking out the garbage, putting up a curtain rod , helping you clean up the house and go to the grocery for a few things on his day off?

No. I am not mad at him for sleeping and not doing those tasks for me. Go back and read...

He's mad at me right now and I've been trying all day to decipher why. It has something to do with the rainy weather, him wanting to do something and not knowing what, and my having the audacity to make a suggestion or two. I asked him to take out the garbage, put up a curtain rod and help me clean up the house. I also said it'd be helpful if he'd go to the grocery for a few things. Needless to say I took out the trash, the curtain rod is still in the package, I cleaned and shopped. Sigh.....and He is mad at ME?

See, at one point he was up for an hour or so and made the comment "I can't just sit around...gotta do something," so I made a few suggestions. He didn't like them. HE is mad at ME. I realize this could be one of those situations where you had to be there, and see how things were actually said, what tone, etc. If I'm mad at him, it's for him being mad at me. Sounds very silly, but it's been one of those gripy grumpy days. I don't begrudge him the sleep. Okay...maybe I do, 'cause I could never get away with it. And sometimes I do pull work marathons like that; I did that just last week. When my clients say it's due, it's DUE.

[tinknal]

I get in this same kind of rut myself. I work 11:30 pm until 7:30 am. My week starts sunday night, and ends friday morning. Since "life" usually occurs during the day I switch to a daytime schedule on the weekend , often skipping sleep on friday. This creates a FUBAR sleep situation. I go to work tired on sunday night, usually sleep poorly on monday, and don't usually feel rested until wednesday. Friday I start over. Occasionaly we have overtime and I work through the weekend. It's ironic that I feel more rested on monday after a weekend of overtime (since I sleep when I get home) than I do after a weekend off. On the rare occasion that I am actually caught up on sleep I actually feel euphoric, and annoy the heck out of my coworkers because I can't find enough work to do and wander over and start doing their work.

I guess my point is that a screwed up sleep pattern can affect your mood and emotions.

Edayna, since you really can sleep when you choose how much of a sacrifice would it be to turn off the lights at 9:00 and go to bed, encouraging hubby to follow (real potential for some side benifits here). If you really can't sleep, just lay there til he snores and slip out and go do your thing.

Just my 2 cents.

[mary,tx]

Originally Posted by tinknal

I guess my point is that a screwed up sleep pattern can affect your mood and emotions.

Edayna, since you really can sleep when you choose how much of a sacrifice would it be to turn off the lights at 9:00 and go to bed, encouraging hubby to follow (real potential for some side benifits here). If you really can't sleep, just lay there til he snores and slip out and go do your thing.

Just my 2 cents.

My thought exactly. You have the potential to really improve your marriage simply by going to bed when HE needs to go to bed. He stays up to be with you, no doubt. But he needs to be in bed. What would it hurt for you to make that adjustment for him?

mary

[Jenn]

DH is the night owl, I am not. I often stay awake (lying in bed) until he goes to bed and it is bad for me. Worse though is when I stay UP since then sometimes I stay up even later than he does. How I wish my DH would come to bed earlier. It would be so kind of him and good for me. I HAVE taught him that coming to bed if I have been so lucky to fall asleep and kissing me until I wake up is more like waking a grizzly bear than a sleeping beauty.

I also often take a long nap on a Sat or Sun when I know he is taking care of the kids (weekdays I can't sleep well when they're due off the bus) but have only slept over 6 hours in the day if I was ill.

So as the equivalent of your DH (except I don't even have a day job so can sleep in sort of some mornings after he and the kids leave weekdays) I ask you what I ask my DH: please don't stay up so late. Consider even going to bed with him and then getting up at 2 am when he's sound asleep. And how can you sleep in when he gets up at 5 am? How about doing his sleep schedule (well his wake up and work schedule) for a few weeks to try to get yourself in the habit of going to bed earlier by not sleeping in but starting your work at 6 am when he leaves and all in all being up and with him and the kids until they leave each morning? And not napping/sleeping in weekdays so you have only as much sleep as he does?