Getting married!

[hisenthlay]

Well, we're finally going to do it!

My fiance and I have been together for almost exactly 6 years now, and we've known since about month 2 of our relationship that we wanted to be together forever, and somehow he still managed to surprise me with a proposal and a ring! I thought "we" had "decided" not to do the whole formal ring/one knee thing, since I never wear jewelry anyway and I'm not one of those girls who always dreamed of a wedding and we want to be frugal, but I guess all that was just a ruse to surprise me! And I'm glad he did!

So now I guess I need some advice. We'd like to do this pretty soon, if possible--sometime in April or mid to late May. Because of work schedules, that will be the best time for us to be able to take time off for a honeymoon. We'd also like to do it someplace natural and pretty, like a local farm/B&B, botanical garden, etc. We don't really have a suitable home to use, so that's out. Other things we're not so picky about, like having the "perfect" dress, decorations, food, etc. And of course, we're looking for ways to be frugal. We'll probably invite about 100 people (large families, sigh...), but hopefully shouldn't expect more than about 70 or so.

So, do you guys have any suggestions for putting together a somewhat frugal, simple but elegant wedding in just a few months?!? I feel a little overwhelmed! Happy, but overwhelmed!

[Ardie/WI]

No suggestions,but, knowing this group, you'll get plenty!

Just wanted to say CONGRATULATIONS!

[fitwind]

Congratulations !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I wish I had some ideas for you..............

[MoonShine]

Congratulations! That is so great,I truly wish you both all the best

[mayfair]

Congratulations! The only rural B&B I know of is Serendipity Inn in SW WI- it sounds wonderful and that area is beautiful. The owners run in using ecological methods. They wrote a book called Rural Renaissance.

http://www.innserendipity.com/

[DenverGirlie]

Our neighbors got married in a state park. A lovely gazebo in the woods, but just steps from the parking lot, even thou you couldn't see it. They also reserved one of the large covered open sided shelters, added their own folding tables for food and their friends brought their musical equipment, so live music. It was a bit differnet but was lovely.


here are some sites/ books that can get you to be thinkin goutside the box a bit.

http://www.frugalbride.com/ --- go to the top - bride planner / groom planner - LOTS of articles, stay away from the home page - lots of ads.

http://www.wedfrugal.com/ -- like above site

I also have this book
http://www.amazon.com/Bridal-Bargain...e=UTF8&s=books

My SIL gave it to me with some other "frgual" books she picked up over the year at yard sales.


Decide what mile radius you are interested in getting married in, what county's are they? Call those county offices - ask to speak with whoever deals with visitors. Go to those county websites - what festivals are there throught the year? - WHERE are those festivals held? Perhaps on a old county courthouse steps? Or at the farm/ park that always has the "apple harvest festival"?

[tamsam]

We had our wedding outside at the city park where we lived. My wife and her mom and friends fixed the shelter up with flowers and bows and it was so pretty and nice. It was beside a lake and we were lucky the weather was just right. Everyone said how nice it was. Well hope you the best and congratulations. Tam and Sam

[Crystal H]

Congrats. I love weddings...
they always make me cry and DH always has the tissues ready.

Crystal

[Peacock]

I can recommend a B&B in PA...former client of mine. It looks like a wonderful place. Probably on the other side of the state from you, but might be worth considering? The graphic designer who put together their website has stayed there with her family and says it's a little slice of heaven. 'Course, she's a city gal, so...

http://www.innatstarlightlake.com

Congratulations! I was wondering when you two lovebirds would finally get around to it!

[Melissa]

That is great news, Congratulations!

[trixiwick]

Congrats! You've always seemed happy together. I have zero experience with weddings and such, but I just read somewhere that you can order bulk flowers on-line and arrange them yourself to save a bunch of money on that. So, there's my untested helpful tip du jour.

To heck with the wedding; what about the honeymoon? Any ideas where to go?

[Pony]

First, CONGRATULATIONS!! How wonderful! And what a romantic your True Love is, to surprise you so sweetly!

As for wedding plans, DH and I were married at the Renaissance Faire, and that was actually much less expensive than one would think. Including garb, decorations, officiant, food (60 guests), and the site, we did the whole wedding for under $3K. (That was in 2000.)

I officiated a wedding at a local park one October a couple of years ago, and that was also very lovely. I know that the happy couple spent under $2K for theirs, including garb and food.

What's your budget? How much do you want to do yourself? How many friends do you have who will assist you? Does it have to be a "church" wedding, or are you open to locations? Do you want a meal, hors d'ouvres, or just cake and punch? Liquor or no?

Pony!

[chicken]

Friends of mine who have 13 children had a wonderful wedding for their oldest girl a few years ago. They had $200 they could put into the wedding so they had a lot of help from their friends. They bought any clothes they needed at thrift stores or borrowed. They had a potluck reception where they asked the guests to bring a dish to share. I think someone donated a cake and the decorations were simple. It was wonderful. I coordinated the potluck and I did not hear one complaint. Congratulations and I am glad to hear you are formalizing the commitment. I think it is psychologically and emotionally a good thing for you.

[Tricky Grama]

Congratulations & best wishes!!

A picnic would be perfect & not too expensive. The best weddings are the 'homey' ones that aren't so expensive.

Patty

[MarleneS]

Best wishes to you both

Perhaps you could check around your area to see if there is not someplace that offers packaged deals. There are a couple places near here, that can make all the arrangements to have the ceremony in a beautiful setting, and they also take care of the reception (you just tell them how many guests) and you spend the wedding night in one of their suites. Lots less stress, and it's actually a great deal less expensive then doing all individual work yourselves.

If you wish to have your service in a church; wouldn't it be romantic to maybe find the church one of your ancestors were married in and have a candle light service? You could do that in a no longer in use little country church

If you have families who know you well, and can truly appreciate and admire your attempts and successes at frugality, perhaps someone's farm with an invite for pack your own picnic. Or if you have family and friends who would like to do the catering as your wedding gift..please let them. If you are a person who needs to be in control of all the plans - don't do this one One of the most fun and relaxed weddings I ever attended was actually a potluck one on someones plantation.

It's your day - if someone makes suggestions that do not feel right, just say thanks, but no thanks

Hugs
marlene

[hisenthlay]

Thanks, guys!! I guess we've been putting this off for a long time, but it didn't feel long to us, because we've just been living and enjoying our lives together. We met when I was 19 and he was 29, and started dating later that year--I was in college, and he was working. After we started dating, he decided to go back to school to become a doctor, and I went back to school too, and we decided that we didn't want to get married until after we could be an economically self-sufficient couple, which is pretty hard to do with both people in full-time, expensive schools. So, here we are--I graduated last year, and he graduates in May, and we'll be all set.

Thanks for all the great suggestions so far. Marlene, we're looking into those package deals, to see if they really are more cost effective, especially since they would save our time and energy, too.

Trixiwick, I'll have to look into those bulk flowers--sounds like a good possibility. As for honeymoons, well, the lead contender right now is Switzerland, if we can get some good deals by going in the early season and all. We also discussed the Czech Republic and Slovakia, which would be cheaper. With our schedules, we never really get to travel, so we figure we might as well make the most of it.

For the location, if the package deal things don't work out, we'll be looking at the public parks around here for sure. There are some great ones, but the main thing will be to have both an indoor and outdoor venue, in case of rain. Pittsburgh is not known for its sunny weather. The Ren Fest is a good idea, but I don't think they usually start those until about June or so. As for food, we don't have a lot of cooks in the family, so we'll probably have to hire that, too. The good thing is that we're planning to have a lot of vegetarian, and also seafood and poultry dishes, so we're not going to be on the expensive end of the food spectrum.

We're not active members of any one church, so we weren't planning on a church ceremony. Just a minister at the reception site, I think. I think if we had a year, I'd want to do everything myself as much as possible, but with limited time and busy work schedules, I think we're going to have to hire out more than we would otherwise. For a similar reason, we don't have a tight, set budget--with time comes the luxury of lots of comparison shopping, doing things myself, etc., but now we're just going to try to do the best we can to limit costs and cut some corners. My dad really wants to pay for it (I'm an only child, so this is his one shot), and he's the kind to go overboard with spending, so it'll be my job to keep things reasonable.

I think I found a place to get a dress--there's apparently a huge gown store near here that's having a massive clearance on all of last season's dresses in the store, so they have $800 dresses for $150, or $1200 dresses for $250, etc. Luckily I'm a standard size, and I'm not all that picky, so I shouldn't have a problem getting dress off the rack.

A friend was just telling me that by doing it in the spring, before the main wedding season, everything will be 15-20% cheaper than normal, so that's a good thing.

Keep the ideas coming, please!

[Crystal H]

Do you have a Costco nearby? I have friends who were "catered" by costco.. They ordered lots of veggie trays, the sandwich trays, where we were had sushi trays too. They bought the flowers through them too.

Very nice but within budget.

Crystal

[Christine in OK]

Congratulations!

If it makes you feel any better, our wedding was probably about like you describe only in a church instead of outdoors, and we put it together in 3 months or less. It can be done!

We don't have Costco here, but Sam's club if you have them is probably pretty similar and does trays and has fresh flowers cheap.

Is the weather still pretty cool up there that time of year? I'd be willing to sell you my wedding dress at a bargain price if it would fit and you liked the style - it's a sure bet my sons won't want to wear it at their weddings...

[Zipporah]

Congratulations!

[jessin]

congratulations and best wishes for the rest of your life together.