Responsibility and IVF

Me too. Did you hold a fundraiser to get your glasses?

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It is still best to be honest and truthful; to make the most of what we have; to be happy with the simple pleasures and to be cheerful and have courage when things go wrong.
Laura Ingalls Wilder

I also know people whose kids put them under so much stress, it has to be negatively affecting their health. Works both ways.

__________________
It is still best to be honest and truthful; to make the most of what we have; to be happy with the simple pleasures and to be cheerful and have courage when things go wrong.
Laura Ingalls Wilder

http://m.theatlantic.com/business/ar...er-all/361894/. Studies like these show a net positive affect of having children. We can all cite people we know on both ends of the spectrum but that doesn't answer why infertility is different than other physical disorders.

We circle back around to, infertility doesn't definitively shorten or threaten one's life like cancer, MS, kidney failure, whatever.

Any of you who think it's such a great idea, get the link from Harry and go give them some money. It's your money, your choice. Me, I'll stick to the causes that I feel are worthy. And, reserve the right to hold the opinion that it's inappropriate for them to solicit from strangers on the internet for fertility treatments.

__________________
It is still best to be honest and truthful; to make the most of what we have; to be happy with the simple pleasures and to be cheerful and have courage when things go wrong.
Laura Ingalls Wilder

If the people asking for money were asking to raise $$ to fund adoption fees vs. fertility treatments, would you feel any differently? Or would you say "if you cannot afford adoption fees, you cannot afford children"?

Probably, unless there were extraordinary circumstances like someone just finished college, was married, and had every reason to think that a good job was on the horizon. I view the responsibility that strongly. However, while I wouldn't see it as appropriate I don't think I would see it as such a strong split with reality.

People do fall on hard times, and a hand up can be a great help. When people set about to MAKE hard times or situations that will create them, and then ask for others to fund them, that rubs me the wrong way.

I do think though that as some have said, this may simply have been another "hook" for a spammer trying to get money.

I'm not seeing the connection....why do you assume this kid will require gov't assistance? Because the parents are asking for voluntary donations from people willing to donate to their cause?

I just don't get it....people badmouth those on gov't assistance, and say the community should support those in need instead. Here is someone doing that exact same thing, and you don't like that either.

YOU may not think it's ok to ask for assistance for fertility treatments, but it's not your decision.

Yes it is! Very few other things would lead to a society that could no longer reproduce.

My decision was to report it as spam (which it was, and against the TOS of that forum). Why do you assume I am assuming? I suspect that if it was not just a "poor me" story to scam, that the couple involved were short on cash and would continue to be so during the marriage.

I have nothing against being short of cash. I am so myself compared to many. I temper my expectations to meet my means and hope that others do something similar. I do see where you are coming from that the couple were exploring voluntary donations and not demanding aid from some agency. I still don't see that as prudent thinking as much as being driven by a desire so much as to not think clearly. Does that clear it up?

I would bet if the IP was checked it was probably in India. Bangladesh. Sweden. Los Angeles. One of the. Those are the most often countries of spammerd

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"Live your life, and forget your age." Norman Vincent Peale

Because a parent might have fertility issues does not neccessarily mean that their offspring will have the same issues. The problems may have been caused by disease or accident that are not genetically based. Some of the treatments might even use genetic material from another person negating even that concern.

Would it suit your sensibilities if they got a diagnosis from a licensed professional stating that having a child would alleviate their depression?

I have little doubt that this incident might be a scam not worthy of my time. But that has little to do with the morality of someone asking friends, relatives , neighbors or the general public for help. I donated and helped at a fundraiser for a local couple to raise money to allow them to travel to SE Asia to facilitate the adoption of a couple of sweet little girls. This is travel they could not have afforded on their own. I've since watched this family grow and prosper and contribute more back to our community than they ever received. Were they to have come and asked for the same help for fertility treatments I would just as gladly have helped and I don't doubt the results would have been the same

No, if a licensed professional diagnosed that a child would cure someone's depression I would consider them a quack.

Thank you for your generosity with your acquaintances. Knowing the people and deciding to help them is one thing. The OP was about soliciting from strangers on the internet.

__________________
It is still best to be honest and truthful; to make the most of what we have; to be happy with the simple pleasures and to be cheerful and have courage when things go wrong.
Laura Ingalls Wilder

This may have been a scam since it was posted on a forum, but I see people asking for donations ALL the time for families who have a sick child, or because a family needs help with medical bills after the passing of a loved one, etc. Are those wrong too? People can always ask for money, and it's up to us to decide whether or not we want to donate.

No, but neither did I consider it my duty to accept my helpless fate. I see no reason NOT to change what I was born with, as I am not that helpless!

If I could NOT have afforded glasses, I would have been ashamed to hold a crowdfunder, but I would have done so rather than not be able to see more than a few feet away, and never be able to work at most jobs because I could not see well enough.

Mother nature can throw some ugly curve balls. I entered the health field to help fix'em. And, I expect that when you are suffering from something, you are as quick to see your doctor as I am!

Actually, it does.

Harry, you can make the exact statement about EVERYBODY who wants kids. We no longer need our kids to support us in our old age. Children RARELY repay the investment we have in them! They are a LOT of work, and a sick toddler means that parents often stay up all night and then all day the next day. And, supporting a family is far harder than supporting one.

"A desire so much as to not think clearly" When I was trying to have kids I was not thinking clearly, I knew it, and I did NOT care! I was intent on having children.

"A desire so much as to not think clearly". BTDT, and it makes me smile, remembering.

It's good that you are so knowledgable about all thing to override the diagnosis.

The OP was about a possible scam but many of the subsequent comments have been about the supposed inappropriateness of IFV in any form. This is what I'm addressing.

Eggs/egg salad, what's the difference?

Or was it potato salad? I can't remember. Either way he made a ton, $50,000 or so?

You could have gone to the local chapter of The Lion's Club. They have a nationwide collection and distribution program for eyeglasses and hearing aides.

LOL! I understand. Wasn't trying to get into existential conundrums and core biological urges, but they do come up surprisingly often when you start dissecting things. I suppose if we were all super-rational we would think ourselves out of existence.