I GIVE UP!!! (rant)
 

All I want is to have a little independence, a home and my animals.:grumble: Not asking alot. But I am. :grump:

1) Can't drive
2) People I depend on where all for my ideas now they don't want nothing to do with them

The month is not even half over and I am already broke.
Made my house payment, electric, gas, medical bill, $100 gas for autos, 400# of feed.

When I suggest maybe I need to go back to town and get an apartment. They all say no way. Who is going to help in the garden who is going to take care of the animals etc.

What do I need to do? Advice any kind wanted

you need to do what you have to to survive , I don't know you or whats all involved .

I'm going to say this based on what I know outside of your original post. It sounds like they don't respect your ideas. Their goals are not your goals.

If you are contributing money and work to the group, and you aren't getting anything back, you're in the wrong group.

You need to look at what it IS, not what you want it to be. They don't "have your back."

You are try to push through this, but you don't have a support team.

Blue Rose, are you still a full time student? If you have some close family, I would suggest you let them know what kind of circumstances that you are in. If you are contributing $100 a month for gas, then it sounds like you do need to make a move and someone may be taking advantage of you. I don't know if this is helpful but I hope you will get the help that you need.♥

In my experience, you cannot depend on other people to do work for you just to help you. Once in a while, or during trying circumstances, yes. On a regular basis just because you need it all the time, no.

You should make arrangements for living within what you yourself can do as much as possible. I used to have to get rides everywhere and it's a pain, but when you offer gas money it's not all that difficult if you're flexible. But chores and stuff, unless it's also their garden, their animals, that's more on you to take care of what you have. If you can only do a little gardening, then only plant a little garden. If your freinds want more stuff out of your garden, offer to let them plant their own section AND care for it themselves, or trade your care for their 'something' you need.

Just basing my response from your post, I don't know all of your circumstances.

Thank you. I spent more time working up at Ms Connie's then I did on my school work. I lost my financial aid and I am in appeals.

I go see my doctor in Columbia Friday and I see my therapist and my hearing doctor next week.

I am learning the hard way that 'friends' that want you around to do work they don't want to do and your money aren't friends at all.

I guess you can take an abused person out of an abusive situation but without support and good people behind them. They fall right back into another bad situation.

"2) People I depend on where all for my ideas now they don't want nothing to do with them"

Huh??? I am honestly confused by that sentence.

Ms Connie and her family (I have been friends with her daughter for 10 years) Wanted me to come out here to the farm to live. They liked my ideas about the rabbits and improving the goat herd. They said they love the ideas for the Bees, garden, orchard, the poultry.

Now that I am having trouble with my finances and my money is short and I can't 'contribute' more than $300 per month and labor. The son who does nothing but sleeps all day and watches TV all night and the daughter who works 40 hours a week but is to good to do dishes but is willing to make a mess that a child would get in trouble for don't like that I was going to school and they were going to have to do something. Like help can the produce take care of some of the chores are mad that I am not helping Ms Connie like I should. I still am up there from 6 am to 1 pm and from 6 pm to 10 pm. Doing chores, working in the garden actually the only thing different is the money and the fact that from 1 to 6 pm I take time to read study or just go for a walk.

The carport that I ordered and paid for to use as the new rabbitry will be here this week. The agreement was that Matt would do the work on the fence to keep the animals from getting into the carport and do the modification on the carport to hang the cages and inclose the front and back and I would help him. Bonnie was suppose to pay for the lumber that we could not re purpose from some where else on the farm. The fence was bought for another project that got postponed, the doors are from an old house, most of the lumber is also from the old house, an old barn and new lumber that was over estimated for the bathroom remodel.

I know I am just :(

Harry, replace the word "where" with "were."

Sound like they want something for nothing.

Going in cahoots, one often ends up with just a hoot.

It's nice when it does work out.

Good luck!

You work on their farm for 11 hours a day and pay them money and pay for the cost of projects around there?! I sure wish I could find a hand like you. They are getting a killer deal and you are getting taken advantage of. Pack your belongings and go. Blessings, Kat

Whispercat said all I was going to say...

And go quickly!!

its time to cut your losses, get your priorities focused back on whats best for you and move on.

Cancel the order for the carport then leave. If you can't cancel, take it with you or sell it. Find your own place. Stop letting people take advantage of you.

And go re-read "Cinderella".

A good relationship is one where every body tries to contribute more than the other guy, to avoid guilt or to feel better about themselves. It's a natural way to be, and healthy.

The problem is, about half the people recongnise that healthy desire and think that it's smart to take advantage of it. It is your civic duty to teach them some manners. Leave them as far in the lerch as possiblre, with as little notice as you can arrange. There is nothing noble about being a victim.

I wish you all the best......Joe

I agree, cancel the order for the carport and get your money back if possible, then go rent an apt. in town where you can walk where you need to go. I don't know why you can't drive, but is this something you can work on changing? I honestly don't understand how folks can get along living in the country and NOT drive. I wouldn't want to be that dependent on anyone, if I could help it. In town you can usually call a cab, take a bus, or catch a ride with a neighbor when they are going that way. By all means, don't let anyone cause you to "run out of money" ever again! Always keep some money for yourself "put back" that no one knows you have. Sounds like you've had a "rough road" and YOU have to learn to take care of YOU, because you deserve to be taken care of! Sometimes, we are the only one's with our best interest at heart. Its better to be alone than to be used. I wish you well!

They are taking horrible advantage of you. Run, do not walk , for the nearest exit.

And don't forget to sneak back and slash a few tires!

You mentioned in another post that you and this Connie person own land between you?

Ms Connie owns about 38 acres and Her foster son and his father and I are buying 2.96 acres right across the road.

I don't drive because of seizures.

I made a big mistake, I got away from an abusive husband. And I was free had my own apartment and then I listened to a friend gave up my apartment and went to live out at her parents farm.

I think I need to just leave cut my losses and just go.

Thank you all for listening to me and giving me great advice.

I see.

I do think you need to leave, it sounds like a situation that will not improve.

I agree BlueRose, get out. Do not leave them the carport-sell it if you can't take it with you. You have seen that the situation is not working and they were using you. If you can in th efuture, find a small acreage that you can raise rabbits- they don't take up a lot of space-you can raise them in tractors just like chickens. I hope things work out better for you.

Here I go again Mr Bob is in the hospital asked for prayers in the goat forum. I just think I need to just give it all up.

Who is Mr. Bob? A person or a goat? And you still need to see about getting out.

Often in life there just comes a point when, although you have a lot vested (money and emotions), in some situations it's just time to let it go and move on. It sounds like it's that time for you.

It took a lot of courage to get out of your previously abusive relationship but you did it. It's heartbreaking that you're in another one of a different type. Just remember that people will always try to take advantage of you if you are kind and giving person. But put the burden of that on them and let them answer for it. Don't be a victim any longer. Take what you can and start a new life for yourself and simply learn from this to choose your friends a bit more closely. You shouldn't get so you can't believe or trust anyone, but you do have to work at being more cautious in your relationships with people. Avoid situations where there is high potential for it going bad between you and other people and always have a pre-determined plan how to make an exit from it should it happen.

Mr Bob is Ms Connie's husband he is 81 and she is 65.

Please leave. You deserve better. You are building THEIR homestead.

Go back to school. Follow your own path and dreams, not theirs.

If it's not one thing, it'll be another. Now you "can't leave" because an 81-yo is ill. These people sound like professionals at guilt-tripping their victims, but you're only a victim if you LET yourself be one. It's called "codependency" perhaps with a big dollop of "enabling" mixed in. You've gotten great advice here but if you're even now still in this mess I doubt you'll see a lot more sympathetic reaction from other posters, you keep going with just a bunch of excuses for why you aren't OUT of that stupid arrangement, it'll begin to look, to me anyway, like you too are getting some sort of gratification out of complaining but not doing anything about it.

Why? :smack

I missed that about you going in to buy more land with these people.

Boy, do they have a good thing going.

I am pretty sure you may need to do some serious re-thinking before signing and giving your money.

Good morning. Here is my plan Please tell me what you think and if there is something I am missing. I am trying to take everyone's advice. And make a plan.

1) call lawyer to see if I can get out of land contract. Got a call in to 3 lawyers. One said $150 before even looking at the contract. I have decided to use my overdraft protection if I need to.

2) called garage place can not cancel it. If I do not pay and refuse delivery it goes on my credit report and the can take legal action. Can't afford that so I am writing that money off to a lesson learned.

3) Called Housing authority to get on the list for an apartment. (Maybe I need to just go someplace different)

4) Arranging to have someone to take Precious to the goat market at BUB at the end of the month.

5) sent financial aid appeal and letter from 1 of my doctors to the college. Hope to hear something in about 5-7 business days. In the main time, study study study math.

Am I missing anything?

Can you turn around and sell the carport? even if you get less than you paid for it, that would still be better than nothing.

Here is an update I hope this makes sense if it don't I am open for more advice I have tried to take all of the great advice I got here.

Went to a lawyer, he said that I can break the deal on the land. He told me that since I don't have anything he doesn't think anyone will sue me. I called the housing office before I left his office and went and filled out an application for housing. It will be about a month before I can get housing. Since all I did was call instead of coming in earlier I am behind on that.

Made a deal with Ms Connie's daughter and son. They are going to make payments on the carport to me starting next month.

I am having a sale on rabbits and bunnies this weekend starting tomorrow through Saturday night. The more you buy the cheaper they get. :) I get to keep that money.

I still have Precious up for sale. Person was suppose to take her last weekend to BUB didn't do it. Can't take her to town with me. :crying:

I am stopping school until January. I heard from first appeal now into 2nd appeal on my student aid.

I would just warn you about taking payments from the son who does nothing all day and the daughter who acts more like a child. Does not sound like a good deal.....cash up front or sell for less and CASH on craigslist. You need the $$.

Sounds like you are trapped into slavery. Glad you are finding a way to leave. Do you have other friends that get help you get to town and/or take the care of Precious on? Agree with Ann. (last time I heard of an arrangement like were some relative grand kids who moved into grandma's mobile home and kicked her to the curb)

Sorry you might have to leave animals that you love/enjoy. If you don't think they will be cared for well call animal control after you have been gone awhile.

I was brave this morning I told Bill and Chris I was moving by the end of the month. I also told Ms Connie that I was moving back to town.

She suggested that I finish my trailer and move it onto her 6 acres that I didn't even know was hers. I would be away from the 'kids' but close to her and Mr Bob. So I have that to think about.

My gut is saying 'run' but my heart says stay close only family you have. I'm crazy from one abusive relationship to another. I am so tired of being used.

Then don't repeat the process - yet again.

I say that with only the greatest compassion and understanding that change is always difficult all on your own.

But you have to stop depending on other people for your happiness. Learn to live in your own skin, be happy within yourself, and grab control of your own destiny in life through getting independent of anyone else.

Make this a clean break for the last time and forever, and make your life what you want it to be through you're own endeavors.

If you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got.
The only person who can keep you in an abusive relationship is you.

Blue Rose: is there any reason why you cannot come out to visit on Saturdays or whatever? You can volunteer to help in the gardens, and talk. Just because you are not living there (Do NOT live there) does not mean that you cannot be close to your family and friends!

As for the car port, is it still in boxes? Because that young man will not make the payments! I would deliver it after he has finished the payments.

Yes, I realize you do not rive. I worked for many years with a woman who did not rive either: she said that if you averaged it out that it was no more expensive to take the odd taxi than it was to own a car. New cars have payments and old cars have repair bills, and taking a taxi cost about that amount.