The Passive-Aggressive Employee
 

Laura's thread on waitressing woes got me to thinking about my current situation.

My doctor's medical assistant has her own irritating agenda. She starts off by saying something like "what is the problem?" And not is a fashion that makes me think she is the least interested in knowing.
So I start to say and before the first sentence is out, she interrupts to say something like "I don't need to know that now- just give me your blood pressure readings." So you start that and she interrupts before you have the first sentence out again to say "So tell me what the problem is."
Then, after having run me several times around the block, first demanding an answer, interupting the response instantly with another demand, she finds my blood pressure has gone up when she does the test and says "Your blood pressure is up because you are hysterical."

By the time that remark comes out, she has confused the symptoms of hysteria with those of the anger she has created. But I am getting close to meeting the standards of both.

Then the doctor comes in and opens with "You sound hysterical." By which time I problably confirmed her opinion forever by saying much more loudly than is needed If I am it's because no one is listening to me."

Sigh.......... Too bad that doctors here are scarce and usually not taking new patients.

Me i would just say if you will just shut up and listen i'll tell you the problem :grumble: I don't spend money to get insulted .:awh:

I went to get a haircut a few years back ... The cutter would clip then go chat with her friend .Come back to me - clip clip - then wonder off again .I suggested she stay on task as I really needed to go .She was clueless at what I was talking about . I finely moved to another chair and had another gal finish it up . Barber 1 gave me the stink eye as if I kicked her dog or something ....
Whats this got to do with anything in the OP? Maybe nothing , It just made me think of it :/

"My doctor's medical assistant has her own irritating agenda. She starts off by saying something like "what is the problem?" And not is a fashion that makes me think she is the least interested in knowing."

My problem is that I suddenly strangle people who interrupt me. What was the question again?

There are some people who shouldn't be allowed to deal with the public. I'm surprised the Dr hasn't isolated her from the patients, or let her go. I've found over the years being blunt and expressing displeasure firmly puts a stop to a lot of nonsense. I'm a big believer in my "signature" below.

I'm not close enough to the situation to know, but I see three possibilities

1. She got a problem.
2. There's bad chemistry between you two.
3. You've got a problem.

Obviously, if you're the one with a problem then changing doctors won't help. Your problems will follow you.

Of she's the one with a problem then this situation will work itself out without your intervention. She'll do the same thing to other patients. The doctor will eventually either fire her or put her to work doing something that has minimal patient contact (maybe billing).

If it's a situation of bad chemistry between you two then it might help to find another doctor.

You are not going to the Dr. to please her or carry a conversation on with her.To get a message across, I would write it down and hand her a piece of paper with the pertinent information. If the Dr. says something, tell him his help is rude, (which she is) and that you have enough problems. People like her should not work with the public. Having it in writing simplifies things.

When she asks "What's the problem?" Answer her in two words or so. "Upset stomach." No embellishments. She can't interrupt when your answer is short.

I find I can usually stay calm when dealing with annoying people that I suspect are deliberately being annoying. I just attempt to outannoy them. One word answers in reply so they can't interrupt is an example. She asks BP readings? That's two numbers. If she asks the original question, I can act slightly confused and ask if she's having memory issues, since I already answered that. "Are you feeling okay, dear? You've asked that. Should I call someone for you?"

I mean really... at that point she really wouldn't be able to say diddly about my responses. It's either the answer to her question or a query to her own health since I was obviously concerned for her. When I talk to the actual doctor I can go into more detail, of course.

When I deal with irate clients at work, the more rude they get, the more calm and amused I seem to get. Because I KNOW that the more reasonable and calm I seem to them, the more angry they get because they are not having any effect on me. My favorite is the sweet tone of "I'm terribly sorry you don't agree, but it is company policy... perhaps I could recommend another shop for you to visit?"

I'm sorry, but I think after a few seconds of that she would know exactly what the problem was, and the best way for her to fix it. My blood pressure however, would be just fine. From that point forward, it would be her blood pressure that would elevate when I walked in the door. To quote the best movie line ever, "I won't tolerate rude behavior in a man (or woman)"

Reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where Uncle Leo had angry eyebrows inked onto his forehead. Pretty soon you are going to have to see your vet for medical care.

So she is the person you see BEFORE the doc comes in the room?
And is it her responsibility to write down what the issue is, so that when the doc picks up your chart before entering the room, he can have a snapshot of an idea of why you are there that day?
If so, and she's a snot, when the doctor enters the room, and she leaves, tell him. Calmly, tell him what a jack wagon she is.

That sounds sadistic.
I would DEFINITELY tell the doctor.

Next time, have your reasons why you are visiting the doctor that day typed up. When she asks, hand her the paper with the explanation on it, and don't say a word to her.

1. Tell your doctor. Tell the office manager. Write and send a letter, certified mail to the office manager and doctor.

2. Type up your issues and hand them to her. Do not speak to her.

3. Have someone strong and supportive go with you, so that they can not only witness her behavior, but possible defuse the situation by "speaking for you".

4. "Boundaries" by Cloud and Townsend. I cannot recommend it enough.

Tell her flat out next time you see her. If that doesnt resolve the problem tell the Dr.

Sweetie take control!
When she interrupts just continue with what you were saying as if she had not spoken.
I agree she is annoying but I would not give her the power she craves by her interruptions.
If you aren't up for that, then go in with everything typed out on a sheet of paper and just say, any info you need is here.

Being that I tend to be very blunt and to-the-point, that young woman would have gotten an attitude adjustment very quickly!

And, the doctor would have gotten an earful because it's my money that goes into their pocket for their services!

There is some good advice for me in this thread. I admit the first time, I was relly thrown off based by this behavior.
Maybe I can do better the next time.

Decent people are often at a disadvantage when first confronted with those who don't follow social convention. The challenge is in figuring out which people are just having a bad day and which are actively trying to be obnoxious. It doesn't help if you are not feeling well and in a doctor's office.

The larger issue here is that almost all doctor offices are now having the patients pre-screened by a nurse, supposedly to speed and focus the interaction with the doctor. It really works to the disadvantage of the patient, because it is a form of the old "telephone" game, where stuff gets changed or left out.

I have shown DW a different method of handling this, based on my own experience. When going to a doctor, I write out a list of concerns and what might be relevant symptoms that I have noticed. If there are more than a couple of concerns I list them in order of importance and number them. I make THREE copies to bring in - one for the nurse, one for the doctor, one for me to check off. It totally short-circuits all the pre-exam nonsense.

DW's last doctor visit changed from a tug-of-war with the nurse to chatting about how the nurse had recently spent time in Mexico as she typed in the relevant info on the computer. It is a LOT easier writing stuff down in a non-time-constrained, non-pressured environment than stressing about remembering everything as a nurse is peppering you with irrelevant questions.

In my own case, I rarely say much to a nurse except to compliment her if she does a good blood draw.

My doctor's office has just started using mini ipads. When you check in the receptionist keys in your patient code and hands the ipad to you. You go down your information and check off all the relevant stuff - drugs you take, any home tests you do and any abnormal results of same and so on. Then there is a box where you fill in reason for visit, any complaints, new symptoms, etc. Any questions you want the Dr to address, any drugs you want to discuss - it really helps.

Mary

When she hit me with the second question without giving me time to answer I would ask her 'do you want me to answer the first question or the one you just asked?' and I would repeat that every time she interrupted me with another question.

Mary, Although the mini ipad idea can have some merit, it is similar to intake forms in that it has an inherent logical fallacy. Having written computer programs, I'm very familiar with the problem.

An intake form is what is known as a data sieve. Data sieves only work well when dealing with limited data sets. I'll grossly simplify to show the problem:

Question 1. Are you feeling well today? Y/N
Question 2. Do you have sniffles? Y/N
A person who answers 1Y, 2N will be sent home as being fine.
A person who answers 1Y 2Y may be diagnosed with allergies.
A person answering 1N 2Y may be diagnosed with a cold.
Any one of the above may be coming to the doctor because of a broken arm.

Additionally, I am fairly certain that many intake questions are placed there by insurance companies attempting to get patients to self-incriminate, so that rates can be raised or claims denied.

It really is much better for a patient to describe a problem in his or her own words. As the physician who I have finally settled on repeatedly says; "It is the doctor's responsibility to listen carefully. Almost always, the patient will tell the doctor exactly what the problem is, and often will indicate how best to correct it." Now that is a smart doctor.

No, they are not set up like an intake form, other than checking the boxes to indicate that your medication has not changed since the last visit and spaces to fill in if any home tests are not within normal parameters (e.g I take my blood sugar 2-3 times daily and my blood pressure daily. I record these measurements on a spreadsheet I can print if there is anything way out that can't be accounted for, if not I can write "BG within 89 - 104" or whatever) You write this stuff in yourself, not just answer Y/N

The last area *IS* for the patient to fill in with their own words - new symptoms, erratic measurements, new problem all together, whatever, to be described. When the Dr comes into the exam room she has her own ipad, presumably linked to the information on the minis, so she can go through your input with you. She has only had this system a short while, but I am liking it so far. No more "Darn it, I meant to ask xyz" or "What was that test for?" It *DOES* mean that you have to be there about 15 minutes early, to go thru the stuff before the appointment, but then you save that by having all your questions down there so she can go down the list...

Mary

OK, that does sound better than what I was imagining. Anything that helps has got to be better than the way a lot of offices are run.

Harry Chickpea and MJsLady- thank you so much. That was just the ticket.

I wrote a three item list of questions and when the the initial "what are you here for" was fired at me, I just handed it to her. She looked it over- made a remark about I only had a 20 minute appointment (must include her carping time because I never take that long with the doc) and left.

The doctor came in with the paper, resolved all my questions in less than 10 minutes.

It was a total success. I did not leave with a sense of confusion about how I never got an answer and the irritating contact with the med assistant was reduced to a tolerable level.

Thanks. You made my day. DW will be seeing a different doctor, as the staff at the one she was seeing was completely out of control and incompetent. Because we document everything and I sent a letter to the insurance company detailing problems like severely delayed referrals, an investigation will likely be launched, causing the office to be pulled from some provider lists. Oh darn.

Tell her you have explosive diarrhea with a side of flesh eating bacteria, she better glove up.

I am reminded of the time I was being admitted to the hospital for atrial fib. The young lady had been asking me all sorts of odd questions (to me) and I had been being pretty good about answering them. Then she asked me how I deal with stress... I told her I didnt have stress, she looked at me oddly and asked again how I deal with stress. I just looked up at her and told her... when someone starts doing things that cause me stress... there is usually a pretty loud thump, followed by the sound of their body collapsing on the floor. Oh! what kinda things cause you stress.... my reply...Nosey people asking too many stupid questions. As near as I can tell, stress musta been been the last topic on her list of questions.... as she put her notepad away and exited the room at that point. :)

This all reminds me of catholic confessions.

Q&A section:
forgive me father for I have sinned.
what have you done?
I lied to my teacher about cheating. I told her I cheated so she wouldn't think I was smart.
I threw water on my brother 3 times to get him to shut up.
I thought bad thoughts about the neighbor that beat me up.
Punishment section:
You have been bad, naughty naughty, pray three hail mary's and 6 our fathers. You are tithing, correct?

Q&A section:
help me!
what is wrong?
My leg is not working.
I have pain in my mouth.
I'm recently blind in my right eye.
Punishment section:
It's all in your head, take these meds they will cost you $500/month. Come back next month and we'll do this all again. This is for your benefit. I have three kids in college so please come back, I care about you.

...and I'd reply.... "YOU!" then let the Dr. know the reason why I am about to go find another Dr....

Dr's
 

This is about a Dr. I changed Dr's over this. Every time I saw him, all he talked about was his 5 bedroom 2nd home. I would be so sick; with a sinus infection or whatever, that it was all I could do not to fall off that table. He was my next door neighbor. So I don't know if he thought the relationship was more than it was.