Control freaks
 

Do you know any controlling people? I've discovered a few in my life.

No. I am too independent to let anyone try and control me. I would not let someone treat me with disrespect and those who try to control others are showing their contempt for you. I let others do as they please and only offer advice when asked. And it is advice. Just my opinion. I give it and then walk away. People have to make their own choices.

Oh yeah. I HAD a couple husbands that tried that stuff!

My father was one. I've known several. No one controls me now that I'm an adult. My husband never controlled me, nor did he think he needed to or had a right to. Good man.

My mom.

I've had several bosses like that. Mostly very short men.

And my experience has been the opposite. The most arrogant (and with no basis for this) and controlling (well they tried lol!) have been tall men. But short women.

I worked for a woman once who was a micromanaging control freak :help: Drove me crazy! She wanted every single decision run by her..... which means that you'd be running down the hall to her office literally 15-20 times a day, sometimes more.

My feeling on it is this: you should have hired me because I'm qualified for the job, and because you trust me to do a good job at the job you hired me to do. If you need all of your employees to run every single thing they do by you, than you must believe that you hired incompetent morons.....so why'd you hire us? Save yourself money by hiring trained parrots who can just repeat whatever you tell them to say :hammer:

I think I had the same boss. :hysterical:
She drove me to quite. Ive lived happily ever after.

My second and fourth husbands. (You'd think I would have learned the first time!) :hysterical:

I have known a lot of control freaks over the years, a lot of the men and all of the women. I have often wondered why people feel the need to control everyone else's lives when most of them cant even control themselves. :shrug:

I am now in a joint venture with a control freak. He has many fine qualities, so I don't break the venture. I ignore him or tell him to back off on occasion. Since he needs me, he fumes for a while and then comes at me in a different way.

I'm always (well, almost always) polite. The trick with dealing with people like this is

a) *Be on an equal footing*. If you're not - it's your boss or parent - *get out* asap. They can literally shorten your life, as well as make it nearly unbearable. Also, be aware that feeling like you have to have the last word, win, or prove yourself right just keeps the situation going. Yes or No or Because are entirely complete answers, and you are not obligated to amplify, explain or justify yourself.

b) Be crystal clear as to where your lines are. See Yes or No above.

More experience than I'd like, starting with my mom, followed by friends, bosses, and an ex-husband. They're around, and if you are an easy-going person, they will find you. On the plus side, they are often the people in the world who get stuff done.

I think I may have just witnessed one in action, see thread "Oklahoma Man Hogties Robber".

Like a hand full of sand, the tighter you clench it in your fist, the more it escapes from your grip.

Control, is an illusion at least, and a lie at best.

Why am I a control freak magnet?
I avoid them like the plague, but they keep coming back like the undead.
I'm uncontrollable.
I have been employed by control freaks and found subtle, undetectable ways to torture them back!
Control freak suitors are shown the door.
I can't get away from them!
They find me every where!
Oh, woe is me, and I'm only sorta kidding.
Love,
SugrMag, WildChild

Two of my EXes were Control freaks. # 2 lasted 8 weeks. #4 lasted 2 1/2 years.
They mistook my laid-back easy going ways for weakness.

I work for a law firm.. need I say more?

Abusive ex-husband was, which is typical for abusers. And a guy that I work with is. He travels a lot, thank goodness.

Yeah, been around a few. Seems though that after a very short time they either avoid me or try to be my buddy, that is something that doesn't happen.

Got a couple of them at work. It irritates them they cannot get me to respond.

My ex-wife. That's why she is my ex :cowboy:

Yep... sure have.
If I can't avoid them, I make their life a living heck because I am not one to be controlled. :)