Dealing with a Difficult Co-worker

FWIW, I had a similar situation a few years ago with a co worker. I got tired of the pedantic drama queen (or rather 'king') histrionics and tantrum throwing. When the tantrums were directed at me, they were treated exactly the way I treated my children's tantrums---by ignoring them totally. When they escalated because I was clearly ignoring them (and yours will probably escalate if this man has yelled at you for the first time and gotten away with it--expect more yelling, and for it to increase in frequency and duration) I made eye contact without looking away, and did as someone above suggested--- firmly but clearly told my coworker that it was TOTALLY unacceptable for him to EVER speak to me that way again, and that he would recieve no further warnings, and further that if he wanted to speak to me at all, it WOULD be in a professional, polite manner or NOT AT ALL. It worked amazingly well.

I really agree that if you let it slide and ignore it, it will get worse.

This is what I am wondering about too. Whodunit, you haven't provided enough information about what type of facility it is that you're working in. If it is some kind of health care and/or community service facility or an institutional setting of some kind then there are absolute sanitation regulations about washed dishes being placed in drying racks to air dry, they can't be placed on towels nor be towel dried. Those sanitary regulations are across the board in both America and Canada and failure to comply in spite of regulations may be grounds for you being put on probation.

If the senior person you're having trouble with is a supervisor or in a position to complain about you and have you put on probation you should be careful not to buck the system with him and make him look like some kind of straw boss in the eyes of others. Ignoring his behaviour will just make him angrier and cause him to create trouble for you - arrogance will get you fired. If you have another supervisor or manager that you can speak to about this person's disrespectful behaviour towards you that might be a good thing to do. Don't complain about the senior person as that will make you look bad, just ask the manager what they would suggest you should do to comply with regulations by the book and not bring on the wrath of the senior person. That way your manager will know you are trying to do your job to the best of your ability and also bring attention to the fact that the other person is harrassing you. It may be that other people have had similar troubles with this senior person and management may already be aware of it. They need to know about any other people that are having fresh problems with him.

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Thanks for all the input.

The good thing is that I won't have to work with him for the next nine months unless one of us happens to pull a double shift, so that makes it nice.

I shared my story with another co-worker who is kind of a semi-supervisor (if that makes sense). He thought it was stupid and that the other co-worker was wrong, but agreed with me that going to our supervisors would accomplish nothing. This person has done this type of thing before and if anything happened, it obviously didn't work.

History shows me that there is no progressive discipline in this organization, in that his punishment gets worse and worse for every violation, otherwise he probably wouldn't be working there any longer. Besides, it's not my style to go running to the bosses every time I get offended by a co-worker.

One person asked what kind of organization I work for. It's a juvenile detention facility, so the dishes are ones used by staff, but mostly ones used to feed the residents.

To my knowledge, there is no regulation on how they are to be dried. They are machine washed. If I were to put them away immediately, there would be cups and bowls that wouldn't be dry by the next use. That creeps me out for some reason. I would think it would be more sanitary to allow them to dry completely before they are stacked (or hand dry them which is an option). If there are regulations on drying, then he should have said that. He never ceases to cite laws and regulations in other areas of our job.

Besides, when he said "drying rack" I had no idea what he was even talking about because they are stored on a metal shelving unit.

The thing that makes issues like this difficult is there are very few standard (with obvious exceptions involving state law). Everyone does things differently, so if I want to leave the dishes out to dry, then that's fine unless a supervisor tells me otherwise. If I want to flap my arms when I walk down the hallway, I can do that, too.

It's just that some people have to have it THEIR way and try to force their way on others. If they tell me politely why I should do something a different way, I will listen and decide if what they are saying holds true.

I think based on my personality it's better I just let it lie. The problem is his, not mine, so if I just go ignore him and go about my business he will likely just get worse and worse and "hang" himself or drop it and let it go. I'm going to try to change my reactions and just let things like this roll off my back.

Anyway, it's late and I feel like I am rambling.

Oh, I bet there ARE regulations about the dishes. Leaving them on towels that had been used in the kitchen is not sanitary. They should be stacked upside down on drying racks.

There are HUGE regulatory documents on kitchens in any kind of facility like that.

That said.... just ask him in a quiet voice, "Why are you angry?"

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Ah, now that you've told us the workplace, I'm SURE there's dishwashing regs. You're probably NOT allowed to dry w/towels. Has to air dry. More sanitary. Not sure if stacking on a towel counts...

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Exactly what I was thinking!!

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Im a pretty mild mannered guy but have been around intimidating people most of my life. When I was younger I pretty much had the same response as you. After awhile you learn a lot about peoples personalities. In my current employment we have to stamp our number on every piece of the product we handle for quality purposes. Because of the large number of products we handle, small mistakes happen regularly. If an inspector finds something wrong they call out "Who is 123!". When 123 would sheepishly look up or raise their hand or give a quiet response they would get a stern explanation of what was wrong. I make as many mistakes as anyone else. When my number is called out by an inspector or a manager I answer in a loud clear voice "Right over here!". Im not angry, I look them in the eye and smile. It definately changes the response you get.
When nasty co-worker says "Who left these dishes out" look him in the eye and in a loud clear voice say "I did". When he says "Put them in a drying rack!" DON'T look at him and say in a loud clear voice "why?" or "Im busy, you do it" or say nothing but leave the dishes there. Change your response and you will change his.

I'm confused, Is there a Drying rack?

The way I see it, the way the OP was drying the dishes is not really the issue, the issue is that he yelled at her, and that was inappropriate and bullying.

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If you are washing/drying dishes that other workers or customers will use there are regulations, but I don't know if you are violating any regulation by drying them on a towel. Check with OSHA to see if you can get a copy.

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I can't stand bullies, and the only way to handle them is to show you aren't a push over.
He will yell at you as long as you let him.

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If you can, stuff the dishes yourself. It would be worth even some jailtime to put him in his place. Getting upset over dishes, what a jerk!

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Yeah, I couldn't give a rip about the dishes. If it wasn't that, it would be something else.

Let's see, oh yes, he has gotten angry at me and others for leaving a window cover down off a particularly difficult kid's window during our shift. We generally leave them up so the residents cannot look outside their rooms to other rooms and make gestures and such. But the residents are checked on a regular basis and the cover sometimes slips.

He hates another co-worker with a passion, which is strange because she has been nothing but helpful and gracious to me. Both are strict with the residents so it's probably that they have the same take on things that they don't get along.

He openly defies the supervisors. The most recent time was when they stressed that an incident report had to be done before the end of your shift even if it required overtime. He flat out told him he wouldn't comply.

One time when he found out he would be working with me and another new staff member, he told me something like, "No offense, but I don't get paid to babysit."

I was offended because even though I am new to that particular position I have done law enforcement work for well over a decade and I could handle myself fine with a few minor questions that mostly dealt with how HE wanted it done (again trying to cater to him since he was the senior officer on shift).

The other night (the same night as the dishes incident) another co-worker and I were talking about how a resident was allergic to cinnamon.

I did some checking and found that one of the snacks we serve contains cinnamon. He was annoyed that I wanted to SPECIFICALLY warn other staff about that snack via an information log because it was already listed that she was allergic to cinnamon. Yeah, let's risk anaphylactic shock, because you want to be a jerk.

I usually yell at them and tell them straight out to put the dishes on the drying rack where they belong. But then I am old, my feet hurt and am naturally grumpy.

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Oh,I realise that, was just wondering why someone snapped-did he have to tell 30 people the same thing... then went over the edge. Certain things might be a reason to understand and approach the issue differently.

Try this plan:


1) Wait till he turns away


2) Hit him with something heavy

I got miffed at work today because someone from another department saw me copying a file and told me to come get her when I finished. She didn't have the patience to wait and went back to her desk. We're in different departments, so it wasn't on my way even.

Isn't funny what can get to you? I have another co-worker who has a habit of getting me to stop what I am doing, so she can get coffee, go smoke or do some totally unnecessary-at-the-time thing. I then spend the next several minutes catering to her so she can get her things done.

Sss...

A bee hive down his shorts would handle this just fine.

I hate dealing with immature fools who use temper tantrums at work and shout at coworkers. Such tantrums display an under-developed sense of adulthood and an inability to communicate without resorting to a foolish looking emotional outburst.

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